Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
HANNAH
Christmas.
I was a bundle of nerves today at work and I couldn’t figure out why. We had over fifty to-go orders for families who didn’t like to cook the traditional Christmas meal and they all had to be picked up by noon, and then we were closing for the holiday. It was a new service I’d decided to provide for the community after hearing how many hated cooking and just want to enjoy the special day with their families.
The restaurant was thriving.
My mother was cancer-free.
I had an amazing boyfriend, Luke.
Why was I anxious?
Then it hit me.
Jack.
It was Christmas, and I knew he would visit on Christmas. Even though I’d stopped texting him and moved on with my life, I felt like I’d been waiting on Christmas. Waiting all year just to see him again. For closure maybe? I didn’t know. Jack was complicated, and I still couldn’t get some of the things he’d said out of my mind. I’d really liked getting to know him. India had been incredible, our budding friendship had felt exciting, and I still thought of him often.
Was he still lonely? Did he have a girlfriend? What had he done that would cause me to pray for his soul? I had a hundred questions and zero answers. I wanted to know everything about him, but I’d only gotten a glimpse and then he’d left. Now, I peered around my restaurant as my thoughts drifted to the man who’d made all of this possible.
Jack.
I hadn’t spoken to him since he’d called and offered to pay my electrician bill. I didn’t want his money. I wanted a friend…and maybe more—before Luke, of course. Things were messy where Jack was concerned, and it was probably best we didn’t stay friends.
“Excuse me, ma’am. I asked for butter an hour ago!” a nasty voice growled behind me.
I spun and then glared at the source of the voice as Jules burst into laughter.
“I’m sorry. You’re too easy to rile up.” She hugged me.
We had been hanging out every Sunday night after church like we used to. Luke and all of our friends from high school would meet up at someone’s house, or a coffee bar, or the movies, and it was fun. Life was fun again. I felt like me again—but also something felt like it was missing. Something I couldn’t explain.
“Hello, earth to Hannah?” Jules waved her hand in front of my face.
I snapped out of my thoughts and smiled at her. “Sorry, what?”
“I’ll meet you and Luke at the parade and then dessert at my mom’s after?” she asked.
I nodded. That was the plan. “I wouldn’t miss your mom’s pecan pie.”
“Okay. Good luck with all these orders!” She blew me a kiss and stepped back out onto the street.
The order-up bell dinged, and I ran to the delivery window to grab the next pick-up order. We had a good plan, and we were cranking out orders every twenty minutes with pick-up times being texted to the customer as their order was cooking so they could get it fresh and pull up outside. I was running food out to the cars, and the restaurant's dining area was actually closed. It was just me; Sydney, who was now my assistant manager; Becca, my new server; and the kitchen staff.
I grabbed the order and ran across the restaurant to deliver it outside when I glanced at the name written on the receipt.
Jack.
My breath hitched, and I nearly tripped over my own feet.
I glanced outside to the red pickup truck and my heart skipped a beat.
Jack Marrow sat at the wheel and watched me with an expression I could only describe as… sadness . But he quickly covered it with a radiant smile when I opened the door.
I grinned as well, because despite how we’d left things, it was good to see him. It was always good to see him.
“Jack.”
“Hello, Hannah.” He looked handsome in a powder-blue T-shirt and jeans. I’d never seen him casually dressed. His dark hair was slicked back, and I reached across to hand him the order. I glanced at the receipt again to see what he’d gotten, and my grin grew wider.
“Good choice on the pasta order,” I told him.
He’d ordered The Jack. It was the same dish I had taken from his table and poured on Vinnie’s head a year ago. I’d renamed it.
He laughed. “I had to.”
Silence filled the air until it was pregnant with every unsaid thing. A year ago today, I’d been at my lowest, and Jack had swooped in and saved the day. Now we were here, and I felt more distant from him than ever before.
“So, you’re in town,” I said, trying to keep my voice light. We hadn’t left things well the last time we spoke. It was obvious he was avoiding me. But I didn’t want things to be like that, especially not on Christmas. Maybe with the holiday, it was time to make amends.
He nodded. “It’s Christmas.”
“Right. I’ve been meaning to ask. Why is Christmas in Willow Harbor your thing?” I leaned on the doorframe, falling into easy, casual conversation with him.
His face betrayed that I’d touched on a sensitive topic, but he didn’t shy away from it.
“When I was ten, my mom and I were driving from Salt Lake City, where we lived at the time, to Spokane, where my uncle lives. It was Christmas Eve, and the snow was really bad. Our car spun out and the entire wheel axis snapped.”
“Oh gosh.” I hoped this story had a happy ending.
He nodded. “We walked half a mile in the snow off the highway to the nearest town”—he gestured to the shops around him—“and landed in Willow Harbor.”
I smiled. “For real?”
He inclined his head. “And her car took four days to fix. So we spent Christmas here at the Butterfly Inn on Main street, and we came back every year since, making it our tradition. This place holds all of the best memories I have of her.”
My heart pinched, and I swallowed hard. I knew that his mother was gone now, so this was a touchy subject. But I thought it was so sweet that he’d fallen in love with my town and had such awesome memories if it.
“You’re coming to the parade, right? I heard you never miss a Willow Harbor Christmas parade.” I tossed his words back to him. The streets were already decorated with wreaths, and the floats were parked to the side, ready to ride at eight p.m. The Willow Harbor Christmas parade was a highlight of the day.
He looked over at me with a serious expression. “I am.”
“I’ll text you. Maybe we can meet up. I’ll be with Luke and my best friend, Jules. Oh, and my mom will be there?—”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He faced forward, eyeing the rearview mirror as if checking for traffic and looking for an escape.
My heart fell. “Why not?”
He looked at me then, and the sadness in his eyes stole my breath. “Because, Hannah, I?—”
“Hey, babe.” Luke’s voice rang over my shoulder and I stiffened.
No. This was bad timing.
Pushing off Jack’s car, I turned to Luke.
“Lunch ready?” he asked me.
“Yeah, one second,” I told him and then faced Jack again.
“Merry Christmas, Hannah,” Jack said from the car before I could get out a word and then took off.
A foreboding feeling settled in my gut, one that only came around when Jack and Luke were in the same room together.
“You okay?” Luke asked, watching the red truck drive off.
My face must have betrayed how I felt inside, which was pretty awful. I plastered on a fake smile. “Yeah. That was Jack.” I pointed to the red truck now halfway down the road.
Luke looked surprised. “Oh, I wanted to say hi to him.”
I nodded. “He was busy. Just picking up a to-go order.”
“It’s a been a year, right? Since he bought you the restaurant?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Man, what a blessing!” Luke exclaimed. “You’d probably still be just waitressing if not for him.”
I frowned. What was wrong with just waitressing? I opened my mouth to ask just that, but Luke launched into telling me about an emergency surgery he had to do on Mrs. Lane’s Pomeranian.
I tried to concentrate on his words, but my attention was on the guy behind the wheel of the red pickup and the ugly words Luke had just said. I was sure he hadn’t meant for it to sound derogatory, but it had. Like just waitressing made me less than. As far as I was concerned, if someone was working hard and paying their bills without doing something illegal, then they were okay in my book.
And what was with Jack not wanting to meet up for the Christmas parade? He was here. It was a holiday, so he wasn’t working. Why not stand with us to watch the floats go by? What was the big deal? Why wasn’t it a “good idea” that he hang out with Luke and Jules and my mom? The very mother he’d helped save with all of his fancy Seattle doctor consultations.
I was getting really sick of hot-and-cold Jack. I wanted to know why we’d had such an amazing time in India, and then he’d just disappeared and started to ignore me. But I knew I had to let it go because getting more than five words out of Jack seemed impossible.
The rest of the day passed quickly as I ran orders and then went home to have Christmas dinner with my mom. We had Hannah’s Fine Italian to-go, of course. We then attended church and stopped by Luke’s parents’ house for a visit afterward before we all went to the parade together. I felt like a zombie, though. I wasn’t as present as I normally was. My mind was with Jack.
Where was his assistant, Chloe? She had been with him last year. Was he alone? Alone on Christmas wasn’t right, even if I was mad at him for ghosting me.
I slipped into the bathroom at Luke’s parents’ house and pulled out my phone.
Hannah with Two N’s: Is Chloe with you?
His response was immediate, which was a relief because that never happened anymore.
Jack: No, she’s in Italy with her new husband’s family for the holiday.
Italy? That was exciting.
Hannah with Two N’s: So you’re alone on Christmas?
Jack: Yes…the way I like it.
Ouch . Okay. Point taken.
So that’s what he’d been about to say today. That he didn’t want to meet my mother or Jules because he wanted to be alone. I was honestly a little tired of Jack’s emotional roller coasters. Ghosting me like that after our amazing trip to India was a pain I wouldn’t easily forget. And I was with Luke now, so it didn’t matter.
Hannah with Two N’s: Alright, well, Merry Christmas, Jack.
There were three dots showing he was going to reply. Then they went away, then they were back, and then they went away. A knock came on the bathroom door, and Luke called for me.
Putting my phone in my purse, I sighed.
Jack was complicated, and I didn’t have time for that right now. I wanted to be a good friend, but I had a perfectly good boyfriend on the other side of this door, waiting for me, and if Jack wanted to spend Christmas alone, then fine.
I pulled the door open, and Luke was standing there, giving me puppy-dog eyes.
“What’s that look for?” I smiled.
He peered up, and I followed his gaze to the mistletoe above us. He yanked me into his arms and I squealed in laughter. When his lips pressed on mine, I waited for that rush of adrenaline, desire, happiness. But it didn’t come.
It was just warm flesh and thoughts of Jack spending Christmas alone. And the words just a waitress roaming around in my head.
I pulled back, shocked.
“You okay?” Luke asked, frowning.
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, yeah. Excited for the parade.”
That was a one-time fluke kind of kiss, right? I’d kissed Luke a thousand times, and it was always a good kiss, a kiss that had me wanting more. Kisses that left us breathless and pulling away from each other so that we could maintain our purity. But this kiss was…dead, and it scared me.
We walked hand in hand to the living room, where we all gathered our purses and lawn chairs and then headed out the front door for Main Street. Luke’s parents lived on High Grove Street, which was a short two blocks to the best part of the parade. A light snow fell as I buttoned my black peacoat around me. I grasped Luke’s hand in one hand and my lawn chair in the other.
“Let me carry that,” he said, pulling the lawn chair from me so that he was now carrying two.
“Thank you.” I smiled. He was a gentleman.
Luke looked over at me with a twinkle in his eye. “It’s been a perfect Christmas,” he said.
I nodded. Every Christmas felt perfect, and I couldn’t wait to see the Hannah’s Fine Italian Restaurant’s float roll down the road soon. Carl was driving, and it had taken thirty volunteers from the church to create the giant tree with papier maché spaghetti, lasagna, and pizza ornaments the size of my head. There was even a lifelike Hannah with an apron on, ready to take your order. The people of Willow Harbor had stepped up and supported me after Jack bought me Vinnie’s, and I wanted to show them that Hannah’s was here to stay.
“And we’ve been officially dating again for over six months. If we add that to the two years in high school, that’s a lot of time spent together,” Luke said.
My brow furrowed in confusion at his train of thought.
“Yep.” I smiled.
“I look forward to many more Christmases with you, Hannah.” He winked and my stomach dropped.
I’d said I love you to him last month, and I meant it. Truly. But…that dead kiss, and seeing Jack, and the just a waitress comment had confusion forming in my mind, and I tried to push it away.
When we got to Main Street, Jules and everyone else were already there, so we started to set up our chairs.
“I’m going to go check on the float real quick,” I told Luke and Jules.
They nodded, and I darted between the buildings to the back street where all the floats were parked and ready to ride. They looked beautiful, all lit up and ready to go.
After double-checking everything on mine and talking with Sydney and Carl, I headed back to Main Street, this time taking the long way so I could gather my thoughts. I was feeling so off. I turned the corner and bumped right into Dennis from church.
“Oh, sorry, Dennis. I’m running around like a madwoman, making sure the float is ready.”
He reached his arms out to steady me with a smile. “No worries, Hannah. I’m excited to see yours. I heard you entered one for the restaurant.”
I grinned. “I did. I hope everyone loves it.”
His eyes moved away from me to across the street and he squinted. I followed his gaze and saw Jack standing in a nice suit, black coat, and leather gloves. He leaned against a wreath-decorated streetlamp, looking wistfully down the road where the floats would soon be coming out of. My heart seized, and I thought of the story he told me about his mom. Willow Harbor was special to him, and I loved that.
Dennis watched me watching Jack and grinned. “Must have been a hard choice. I don’t envy you, dear,” he said.
I jerked my head back at his comment. “What? What choice?”
He nodded to Jack. “Between him and Luke Halston.”
Whoa.
“I don’t know what you mean, Dennis.”
He appeared confused. “Oh, they both came to the spring worship concert that night and brought you flowers. I assumed they were both sweet on you.”
It felt like time had stopped. I replayed his words in my head, but couldn’t figure out what he meant.
“No. You must have misunderstood. Jack never came to the concert.”
Dennis gave me a don’t mess with me look. He was the greeter for our church and a retired doctor. He had a really good memory, but I was hoping right now it had failed him that night.
“That boy”—he pointed to Jack—“was holding yellow roses and wearing a gray suit with red silk lining. He asked where he could find Hannah Phillips before the show, and I took him to your warmup room.”
I gasped as shock reverberated throughout my body.
No. No. No.
That was the exact moment Luke had said he was moving back to town to win me back. Jack hadn’t heard that, had he? Of course he had. Why else would he have come and not said hello to me? It all made so much sense now.
He’d come. He’d come to my concert. To surprise me?
It meant that maybe, all this time, he’d felt something for me too.
“Hannah!” Jules’s voice called behind me and I spun. She waved me over, and I noticed that the first float was riding down the road.
“I gotta go, Dennis,” I said, but my heart was torn in two.
This changed everything.