34. Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Four
Now
When I arrive at work later that day, I’m relieved to see that Quinton’s car is nowhere to be seen. Inside, Sage is ringing up Mrs. Bryant, who used to frequent the shoe store and who, frankly, I was surprised to learn is still alive.
“Good morning, Mrs. Bryant.” The groceries are bagged; while Sage counts out her change, I grab the bags off the counter, looping two over each wrist to get them all in one trip. “I’ll bring these out to your car for you.”
“What a doll,” Mrs. Bryant drawls, leaning heavily on her cane. “Aren’t you sweet, Nina Lynn.”
I’m not sure I’ve ever been called ‘sweet’ in my life, but I return her gummy smile with one of my own. It takes a while to get out to the parking lot at Mrs. Bryant’s pace. She gives me a hard butterscotch candy as a thank you, and I pop it into my mouth as I trudge back into the store, tossing the wrapper in an outdoor trash can as I go.
When I come back in, Sage is waiting for me. “I’m sorry about the other day,” she says in a rush as I grab an apron. “We feel bad. Quinton, too. Theo read him the riot act and I think it actually got through this t--”
She stops abruptly, staring, and I pause in the midst of tying my apron. “What?”
“You have a hickey!” she scream-whispers. I slap a hand over my neck, the apron strings falling limp at my sides. “No, the other side!”
“Oh god,” I groan. “I swear I checked before I left!”
“It’s kind of under your ear lobe,” she says, poking the spot with her index finger. “Right there. I saw it when you turned your head.”
I tug at the scrunchie holding my ponytail in place. “I’ll just put my hair down.”
“No, don’t do that. It’s so freaking hot in here today.” Sage crouches down and shuffles through her purse where it’s stowed beneath the counter. When she stands, she holds up a tube of concealer and a compact, triumphant. “Did you forget that I’m the master?”
The answer is that yes, I did forget, but as soon as she says it, I can’t believe that I did. In high school, Sage took care of everyone’s hickeys—her own, mine, Lori Ann’s, even random girls who happened to enter the bathroom while we hogged the mirrors. The summer that Theo and I were together, I neededher help so frequently that she ended up teaching me her tricks. It’s another memory that fell victim to my desperation to suppress the past.
“Judith’s in the back,” she says. “Turn that way and I’ll take care of it real quick.”
I tilt my head to the side, exposing the area. She dabs concealer onto my skin. “Thanks.”
One second passes. Two. I can feel the question coming; it’s just a matter of when--
“So he’s not still in love with you, huh?”
“How do you know it’s from him?”
Sage pauses what she’s doing and moves her unimpressed face into my line of sight. “Please. Give me some credit.”
I let out a little laugh in spite of myself. “We made out.”
“And...?”
“That’s all.”
She tilts her head. “Come on.”
I laugh again, and it feels like we could be back in high school, comparing notes about boys and giggling. It’s been so long since I had that kind of connection with another woman; I haven’t had it at all, really, since I left Amity. Suddenly, I’m tempted to tell Sage everything.
“I’m not really sure what we’re doing,” I admit. “It’s not smart, whatever it is.”
Moving back to my side, she taps beneath my ear to blend the concealer with her finger. “Maybe,” she says, “if you know you’ll be leaving.”
I don’ t know that. Not at all. The urge to stay has grown every day since I've been back in Amity, every hour since Randi and Cecil pulled me into their family hug, every minute since Theo held me in his arms and said you’re worth the wait .
I still want to find a place for myself that isn’t carved from someone else’s. Can I do that in Amity, in Theo’s house? In his bed?
Desperately— desperately —I want the answer to be yes.
“How did you know you were going to stay here?” I ask Sage.
She takes a minute to set aside theconcealer and grab the compact. “I don’t know if we’ll be here forever,” she says, powdering up her sponge. “Quinton could make more money being a cop in a bigger city.”
“Is he looking for something else?” I ask,surprised to feel apang of sadness at the thought of them moving away.
“No, not really.” Sage gently nudges my jaw, and I tilt my head again. “We’re good for now. Our families are here. His grandpa isn’t doing too well, you know.”
“No,” I say softly. “I didn’t realize that.”
“Yeah, so. It doesn’t seem like the time to leave.” She pats her sponge along my skin, blows on it, and declares, “Done.”
“How does it look?”
“Perfect,” she says, kissing her fingers with a flourish. “Nobody will ever know.”
With a sigh, I finally finish tying my apron. “Thank you. I hope Mrs. Bryant didn’t notice it.”
“Mrs. Bryant needed me to remind her that quarters are different from nickels. I think you’re fine.” She looks down for a second as she flips her makeup back into her bag. “Anyway,” she says, “you know what I think? About you and Theo”
“What,” I ask, wary enough not to inflect for a question.
“I don’t think you need to worry about where you’re at,” she says, “as much as who’s there with you.”