CHAPTER SIXTEEN
JULIUS
Sex isn’t the most important thing to me.
But when I have it, I make sure to find out exactly what will do the trick.
Somewhere along the line, I tend to learn a little about the woman as well, and vice versa.
I’ve never cared to be in a relationship before, but I don’t think you need to get to know someone with that intention.
I don’t know what to think anymore.
I’m positive that Kaylah has been enjoying what we’ve been doing, because something insane happens whenever we collide and I know she feels it too.
But we’re at the somewhere along the line part, and I know nothing about her.
At least she’s accidentally spoken to my mum and met my little brother, so she knows a little about me.
But this girl is a mystery, a mystery being fuelled even more by these messages I’ve been getting.
Maybe that’s why I can’t seem to walk away.
Maybe that’s why I’m about to break the rules of our arrangement right now where we keep it just to sex.
It was a rule she made up anyway. I’ve never wanted just that one thing from her and I can’t see that changing.
Kaylah releases a soft sigh, her head on my shoulder as she watches the wall of the hotel room.
This is usually the part where I exit her room and make my way over to mine, and then replay the memories of the last couple of hours for the rest of the night because they’re too good to forget.
But instead of doing that, I open my mouth to speak.
“You’ve been here for a while now,” I say, my eyes locked into hers. “How are you finding it now?”
She shifts. “Oh, are we…are we talking right now?”
“Seems like we are.”
I can feel the tension emanating from her as she responds with, “Do we have to?”
“Any other man would be offended,” I say.
She squeezes my dick a little, and I try to focus on her words and not on how good it feels. I manage to catch her saying, “You’re not any other man,” while I’m close to coming again.
“It’s just one question,” I croak out.
She’s silent for a moment, her hand still on my dick but she’s loosened the reins for now. It’s a few seconds before she says, “Um…yeah, it’s, um… not too bad. I don’t really have much to say about it.”
Feeling like this could actually be going somewhere I ask her, “Better than your old university?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Her response is curt and I know I’m probably pushing it, but I’m not gonna stop what I started.
“Are you ever gonna tell anyone why you left?” I say.
“Just wasn’t for me.”
“But you must have been doing well, to not have to repeat first year. Did you the do the same subject?”
She removes her hand fully from my dick and sits up on the bed, her eyes travelling the room and finding everything but mine. “Wow, these are…these are a lot of questions,” she says.
“People tend to ask them in this world.”
She looks at me now. “You said just one.”
“I thought of more after the first one.”
The sigh out of her mouth is a gentle one, but I feel its weight. “What does any of that matter to you?”
“I’m just curious. I can’t be curious?” I’ve been staring at her this whole time, and she’s looking right back at me. But there’s something about this question that’s clearly making her turn away.
“You should be curious about things that have some sort of relevancy to you,” she says blandly.
“We’re literally Captains of the Hockey team.”
“Yes.”
“And we make each other come every fucking day.”
“Sure.”
“So I think that makes you kind of relevant to me.”
“Well, then let’s talk about more ways you can make me come. I can put together a list.”
She places her hand back on my dick again, and I will myself to keep a clear head because I know what she’s doing this time, and my weakness whenever she touches me can easily distract me. I stop that from happening by continuing with my line of questioning.
“You don’t want to talk about your old university.”
“No,” she says quickly. “I don’t.”
I play my next words over in my head a few times, knowing it’s a risk but being certain I want to take it anyway if I can find out something about her. “Is it because you were expelled?”
This time, her hand shoots off my dick much quicker than I can even register.
“Who told you that?” she demands.
“No one told me.” I keep my voice gentle.
“Then where did you get it from?” She’s trying the same approach as me, with a voice that doesn’t speak of how passionate she is about her words. But it’s clear to me this is getting to her.
“I didn’t get it from anywhere, I just guessed,” I say.
She scoffs. “You just guessed that I…why are you asking me these questions? What do you know?”
“I don’t know anything, that’s why I’m asking you.
” She narrows her eyes at me, and this time I finally turn away.
A look of pain rests in her eyes, and I know I’m the cause of it, but it also tells me there’s something rattling her about this whole thing.
I can only do what I can right now to take that pain away, so I say, “I promise you I don’t know anything. ”
There’s a moment of silence, a long moment, before she finally says, “I need…to sleep.”
Her eyes rest solidly on the bed now, but her recent words were riddled with anxiety.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I don’t touch her even though I want to. I’m not good at any of this stuff, so I’m not sure what would help.
“I wish you would just keep things to how they should be,” she says, her voice firm but delicate.
“How should they be?”
“Sexual.” I hold my breath. “That’s it. I like having sex with you.
I like being comfortable having sex with you.
And no, this might not make any sense to you or anyone, but just because I trust you with my body doesn’t mean I trust you with my past or my heart.
” I let out the breath, but my entire body feels like I’ve been hit with a hammer.
I only know you through sex, and that works for us, so why can’t we just keep it that way? ”
“We can,” I say instantly, just trying to find some way to bring her back to me. Even though I know what she’s saying isn’t enough for me.
She shakes her head. “No, not after that. Like I said, I need to sleep.” I will for her eyes to meet mine but instead they find the door, and Kaylah heads straight for it.
Watching her for a moment, I know there’s nothing I can do but respect her wishes. So I finish with, “Okay. I know I said it already, but good game today.”
I don’t know if she hears me, not when she’s quick to open the door and even quicker to shut quietly behind her.
I might have just ruined this thing we had going, but that’s not the thing that will bother me. I just want to know what that look of pain is about, because it’s the only thing I see even with my eyes closed.