Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
claire
“Oh, hey, glad you could make it,” I hear the instructor for my fertility awareness class say as I continue sifting through the folder of materials she handed out.
“Uh, yeah, thanks for the invitation,” a familiar male voice replies, and my head pops up involuntarily. Rowan’s eyes meet mine, and he swallows hard.
What on God’s green earth is he doing here?
“Guys, this is Dr. LaFleur. He just started working with me at the clinic here in Camellia. He’s here tonight to brush up on his charting skills,” Tenley says to the rest of the class. “You already know Claire, right?” she directs at Rowan, a suspicious twinkle in her eyes.
Rowan glares at her, just the slightest, and the way she purses her lips in a challenge makes me wonder what kind of office gossip the two of them have been sharing.
“Right,” he replies quietly after a while. “But, please, just call me Rowan.”
“Have a seat, Doc.” She gestures to the empty chair next to me, and he lets out a defeated exhale as he settles in.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper once Tenley turns to gather another set of materials for him.
“Exactly what Tenley said,” he mumbles. “And before you ask, I didn’t know you were taking this class.”
I scoff. “Of course not.”
Tenley turns back to hand Rowan a folder. “This is actually perfect. You guys won’t mind partnering up for some of these activities, will you?”
“Actually, I’m not sure I’m comfortable sharing my charts with a stranger. It feels a little too personal.” I turn to shoot Rowan a dirty look when he lets out an incredulous laugh beside me.
“No worries,” Tenley replies, grinning. “We’ll only be looking at the practice charts included in your workbook tonight. But if you’re uncomfortable, by all means …”
I roll my eyes. “Fine.”
“Great,” she reaffirms and leaves us to finish setting up her presentation.
“So we’re back to being strangers now?” Rowan asks under his breath.
“Not exactly. But we’re not on our-cycles-have-synced terms, either,” I grumble.
He snorts. “As someone who was moments away from being represented by a tiny heart on your actual chart, I beg to differ. Not to mention, you’re my emergency medical contact now.”
My brow lifts in surprise. “Oh, so we’ve gone from pretending we don’t know one another to publicly acknowledging our hookup?”
“I haven’t been going around bragging about it, but I’m told the good people of Camellia have noticed my truck in your driveway,” he explains matter-of-factly.
“And what have you been telling them?” I ask in a harsh whisper.
He shrugs. “Nothing. I still think what has or hasn’t happened between us isn’t anyone else’s business.”
“Except to clarify for your sister and brother-in-law that you didn’t actually go through with it,” I mumble, and he frowns.
“I didn’t exactly have a choice the other night. I wasn’t even planning on confiding in Landry until he asked us point blank.”
“Exactly,” I say dryly.
He turns in his chair to face me now. “I thought we talked about this. What am I supposed to do, Claire? Tell people about our failed one-night stand? Keep it a secret and let you go on thinking I’m embarrassed to be seen with you?”
I open my mouth to answer before I realize he has a point. The problem is that no matter how indifferent I want to be about Rowan and our situation, I find myself caring entirely too much.
“I don’t know, okay? I just hate the way all of it makes me feel,” I blurt out, my face heating when my voice breaks.
His expression softens. “Now do you believe me when I say celibacy is easier?”
I sigh and offer him a rueful smile, but I’m interrupted by Tenley’s loud throat clearing before I can say anything else.
“I guess you two aren’t strangers after all,” she says with a hint of sarcasm, and I look around to find the other couples watching us closely.
Rowan apologizes on our behalf and promises we’ll be good students from now on, and Tenley starts the lesson, though she seems entirely too amused for my liking.
I do my best to pay attention to her descriptions of cervical positions and basal body temperature rises, but I’m admittedly distracted by my table mate’s presence.
My eyes drift to the side each time Tenley pauses to ask for Rowan’s input and he enthusiastically chimes in with some connection between progesterone levels and breast tenderness, and it’s ironically sexy when he defers to Tenley’s expertise instead of trying to mansplain everything himself.
In fact, the way his eyes crinkle as he processes each bit of new information is downright adorable, and I’m starting to understand what Tenley meant about ovulation symptoms as I watch him nod his head in agreement and jot down notes in his workbook.
I might have thought bad boys were my thing up until now, but I’ll be damned if Rowan isn’t proving to be more dangerous than any morally gray man I’ve ever met. Am I really melting over a thirty-three-year-old virgin who wears a scapular necklace and walks around with a rosary in his pocket?
Yes, yes I am.
Tenley mentions something about deciphering between arousal fluid and cervical mucus, making Rowan’s neck turn red, and I let out an involuntary whimper at the thought of pressing my lips to his flushed skin.
“You okay?” he asks, turning to face me with concern.
My eyelashes flutter as I attempt to get my shit together. “Um, yeah, fine.”
Then he leans in and smirks as he whispers, “I didn’t think you’d get honte over this kind of stuff, but it’s cute.”
Gah, what is it about Rowan calling me cute that makes me want to believe him?
“Whatever. You’re the one blushing every time she says the word ‘intercourse,’ ” I argue, bumping his shoulder with mine.
“Not every time,” he maintains before adding, “And it’s only because you’re around.”
One of my loud cackles escapes before I can cover my mouth with both of my hands, and he snorts out a laugh of his own.
Tenley shoots us a warning glare that looks suspiciously like an experienced teacher-look, silencing Rowan and I for a second.
But we return to nudging one another and stifling our giggles as she introduces our first charting activity.
“What are we supposed to be doing now?” I whisper once Tenley walks away.
Rowan bites back another dimpled smile and shrugs. “I don’t know. I missed most of the instructions because someone was distracting me.”
“Me, distracting you?” I retort, and he shushes me. “You were the one flirting with me,” I add more quietly.
His brow lifts in outrage before his expression softens. “Okay, yeah. I did call you cute first, didn’t I?”
“Why are you even taking this class, anyway?” I ask, ignoring the urge to twirl the end of my braid around my finger.
He looks down, as if he was already busy skimming the directions in the book. “It’s for work. They don’t teach this stuff in medical school, believe it or not,” he replies.
“But you’re a MFM specialist. Why would you need to know about natural family planning if you’re only tending to the babies that have already been made?”
“Maybe I’m hoping I’ll need the information for personal reasons one day,” he mumbles without meeting my eyes again.
“And you really didn’t know I was going to be here?”
“No,” he says on an exhale. “But I probably should have assumed Tenley had an ulterior motive when she practically begged me to come to this class in particular.”
“Oh.” I can’t help sounding more disappointed than I’d like to let on.
He finally glances up. “Why are you here?”
The question catches me off guard. “Your sister’s been on me to start tracking my symptoms, because she thinks it’ll make it easier to manage my horrible periods once I understand what’s going on with my body.
And another doctor once said I could use fertility awareness charting to find the cause of my …
issues,” I tell him, fumbling through my answer.
I watch his throat bob as he swallows hard. “But I thought you weren’t interested in getting married again?”
“Maybe you didn’t learn this in medical school, either, but you don’t have to be married to make a baby,” I tell him.
He looks away, rolling his eyes. “You know that’s not what I’m asking you.”
My stomach does another flip, but not in the same way as the last one. “I haven’t ruled out the possibility of going at it alone.”
It’s not the full truth. I haven’t ruled it out completely, but going through pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood on my own certainly isn’t my aim.
Sure, I’d embrace the opportunity if my circumstances ever led me to become a single mom.
But as badly as I want those experiences, I can’t imagine purposefully trying to do it all without a supportive partner, at least in the beginning.
Which is especially ironic considering my ex-husband wouldn’t have been helpful.
“I may have been homeschooled, but I’m pretty sure they covered that in high school bio.” Rowan’s uncharacteristically bitter reply brings me back from my thoughts.
“Ever heard of a sperm bank?” I pose sarcastically, and he shakes his head in disappointment. “For the right price, donors aren’t that hard to find.”
“So once you resolve your infertility issues, you’re just going to choose some stranger out of a catalog to father your children?” He picks up a pencil and begins scribbling in the workbook, but I can tell he’s forcing himself to seem aloof.
“Unless I find someone the old-fashioned way, I suppose.”
“You do realize how ridiculous that sounds when you’ve sworn off marriage, don’t you? Especially since you’ll be raising your kids alone and depriving them of a father figure.”
“What’s it to you, anyway?” I ask, ignoring the guilt his argument has already managed to lodge within my chest.
He slams the pencil down. “Forgive me for looking out for a friend and trying to preserve the sanctity of marriage and family life.”
“Or maybe you’re just jealous because your crazy religious rules are preventing you from doing the same,” I lean in to say haughtily.