29. Nathan
NATHAN
Autumn
I called two male associates twat waffles today.
Nathan stared at the text, it had been a week since he’d heard from Octavia and seeing her name was the best thing he’d seen since the team had been gone.
I have no doubt they deserved it.
I’m so mad, Nathan. I’m so fucking angry.
I know and I wish I could make it better. I wish I could go back and change all of this.
He leaned back and rubbed a hand down his face. Would his talent have saved him from being ostracized if he had taken a stand earlier in his career? Toe the line, stay the course…keep quiet while innocent people get hurt.
Nathan wondered if there was anything he could actually do to make up for his complicity.
You’re not a fucking victim, he chastised himself. You’re a collaborator.
Can I come over?
You never have to ask.
Three dots appeared and disappeared several times and after ten minutes, stopped completely.
This was not the start he had anticipated for the All-Star break.
They were supposed to be driving up to cottage country tomorrow to stay at his agent’s place, and the realtor had scheduled a couple viewings for the following day.
He’d been planning his future with Octavia while she was probably planning a way to end it, and he couldn’t even blame her.
Maybe it was better to stay home anyway. With Scottie moving in, being around to help out would be ideal. Their mom and sister were helping, but they wouldn’t be upset with an extra set of hands.
If he stayed home perhaps Scottie could help with something for the case.
He was good with computers, he could probably hack into Connors's phone or something. Find some evidence. However, maybe handling one illegal thing with another wasn’t the best idea.
He’d hate to see his brother get in trouble because he was out of ways to make things better.
He was dragged out of his thoughts when his front door opened and the sound of something heavy thumped to the floor.
He sat up quickly and peered over the back of the couch in time to see Octavia pulling off her boots, her face scrunched in concentration, or perhaps confusion, as she dropped them to the ground.
“Hey,” he said, walking over to meet her.
She stood straight, her expression more relaxed but still serious as she took him in. “I didn’t know if the trip was still on but…” She gestured at her bag on the floor and shrugged.
Nathan was caught off guard by the fact she still wanted to go, or was even willing to go.
“If you want it to be. I didn’t…I didn’t know if you’d still want to get out of the city.” With me was implied.
Octavia sighed and leaned back against the door. “I think it would be good to get away. I can’t be in that office for another second. Any chance we could leave first thing tomorrow?” She looked up at him through thick lashes. “Please?” she whispered and all he could do was nod.
Nathan had witnessed several versions of Octavia.
Had seen her tired from work, in pain during her period, excited about a new movie, euphoric having a sip of wine, loose and satiated after an orgasm.
Tonight, she looked drained. Dark shadows under her eyes, her hair thrown back in a basic ponytail, her suit less styled than usual.
He had been falling in love with every version of her, but this one hurt.
It hurt because he knew he played a role in her exhaustion and he hated himself for it.
There wasn’t a handbook for this. No amount of training could prepare him to deal with the aftermath of what had gone down this week. Being there for her, being honest when she asked him to be, that’s about all he could do.
Octavia pushed off the door and stumbled forward, right into his arms. She buried her face in his chest and they stood there quietly until Nathan’s stomach grumbled and her shoulders bounced with hushed laughter.
She tipped her head back and his heart stuttered when the corners of her lips tipped up. It wasn’t the brilliant smile he’d gotten used to seeing when she looked at him, but she looked a bit more like herself.
“Wanna order some food and watch something stupid?” he asked.
Tears filled Octavia’s eyes and he felt his blood cool. “Yes, please,” she choked out. “But it has to be really stupid. I need to give my brain a break.”
“Done.”
What Nathan had not considered when going to a cottage in February was the amount of snow they got a little farther north. The reality of which came rushing in as he navigated the narrow laneway from the main road to his agent’s cottage, knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel.
“This is…precarious.” Octavia winced, her eyes glued to the treeline out the passenger window. “Good thing you rented this beast.” She knocked on the dash of the Subaru Outback.
“Never tell my brother I rented it.” Nathan laughed. “He bought one a few years ago and I was relentless.”
“Why?” she asked, finally taking her eyes off the trees.
Nathan shrugged. “Our grandmother drove one. We called his the grandma mobile mercilessly.”
“How long did he have it?”
He looked over quickly before turning his gaze back to the front. “He still has it. It’s his winter car.”
“Oh, his winter car, eh? Does he have one of those for every season?”
“Nah, he has a motorcycle and a bike for the warmer months. He doesn’t really get out much though.”
An odd silence descended on them and Nathan couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of how his mood had changed the second he told her about Scottie’s transportation choices.
They’d been worried about the motorcycle and it was the bike that had nearly led to his death.
Nathan would buy him a hundred Subaru fucking Outbacks if it meant he was cleared to drive again.
Nathan was about to say something about that when the cottage, scratch that, the mansion came into view.
“Cottage my butt." Octavia scoffed, leaning forward as her eyes trailed from the foundation up to the peaked roof. “Who has the money for taxes on a place like this? Because you know if this is the cottage their regular house is even bigger.”
“When you have ten professional clients all making over five mil a year, you get a decent cut,” Nathan told her, but he agreed.
This was too much house for somewhere that didn’t see much action for most of the year.
“I don’t want anything this big…do you?” he asked as he parked the car in front of the garage. Seriously, a garage?
“Oh, god,” Octavia said, leaning back against her seat, the sound of her seat belt unbuckling somehow louder than normal. “I would not. I’d be happier in a one room cabin than I would be in this place.”
Nathan shifted his attention fully to her.
She was in a thick sweater, jeans, and winter boots.
She hadn’t applied makeup, which left her freckles more prominent.
Every version of Octavia would look good in this place, but he liked the fact she didn’t want any version of herself to call this place home for longer than a few days.
“What?” She smiled at him while he took her in.
He shook his head, unable to voice what he was feeling right now.
He had spent the entire night drifting in and out of sleep, as if his mind needed confirmation that Octavia was still beside him.
Proof it hadn’t been a dream that she had returned to him.
He was tired but happy, and as long as she was with him, he wasn’t sure he cared much about the tired part.
“Thank you for coming,” he said instead of all the other things that bubbled away in his mind.
She didn’t answer, just nodded before pushing the door open and stepping out of the car.
Nathan followed suit, walking to the back to get their bags, relinquishing his hold on Octavia’s when she reached for it, albeit begrudgingly.
Octavia followed behind Nathan, literally in his footsteps as she carefully stepped into each impression he left in the snow on their way to the door.
She huddled close while he took out his phone and looked up the code for the door.
If he took a bit longer to unlock the door it was because he was distracted by the smell of her shampoo.
Shampoo that sat next to his in the shower niche and would remain there for the rest of his life if he had anything to say about it.
“Holy shit,” Octavia whispered as they stepped over the threshold into the cottage.
Vaulted ceilings lined with wooden beams drew their attention to the floor to ceiling windows that lined the entire back of the place, opening out to a view of the frozen lake and the pines that lined the opposite side.
Everything was crisp and clean but somehow held the kind of warmth you look for in a cottage, with natural elements covering just about every surface.
Octavia ditched her boots quickly and made her way across the open room, stopping at the windows and wrapping her arms around herself. This place is too big, Nathan thought when he realized just how far she was from him.
After getting his own boots off, he ignored their bags left at the door and crossed the room, counting as he went.
Twenty-two damn strides to reach her, just as he thought, unacceptable.
The minute she was within touching distance, Nathan slipped his arms around her from behind and rested his chin on top of her head.
She hummed, the sound travelling through her back and spreading throughout his chest. Her contented hum was one of his favourite sounds in the world.
He often wondered if she was aware of how often she did it.
It was there when she snuggled into him.
Present when he held her tightly against his body in the morning.
It crossed the boundaries of sweet and sexy times—a feeling applied with a broad brush.
He could imagine them there every summer. Well, not there specifically. Somewhere smaller with the lake even closer. Perhaps a bit more rustic than a place with marble on the counters and Persian rugs in the family room.
Octavia turned slowly in his arms, resting her palms on his chest and looking up at him.
He waited for her to speak but she just looked, eyes trailing over his face, hands still, lips quirked the tiniest amount.
Nathan was taken aback once again that he got to look at her like this.
Hold her in any capacity at all, and he knew he’d do just about anything to ensure he got to do this for the rest of his damn life.