30. Octavia
OCTAVIA
There was a difference in Nathan that Octavia couldn’t quite pinpoint.
But by the time they were getting ready for bed, she was certain she had figured it out.
Nathan was holding back. His touches were more tentative than usual as he kissed her.
The only thing that had changed between the last time they were intimate and now was the case.
“Hey,” Octavia said, pulling back and taking his face in her hands. “You’re not Connors or any of the others. I trust you. Don’t let someone else’s actions take this from us.” She laughed, remembering how she’d nearly done that by ending things with Nathan on the spot.
Concern and confusion warred across his face. “What’s so funny?”
Octavia dropped her hands to his waist and gently pushed him so he stepped back until his legs connected with the bed. When he sat, she straddled his thighs and ran a hand through his soft unruly hair.
“It’s not really funny. It’s more sad actually,” she admitted. “Doubting you, even for a minute, makes me sad. Knowing that you’re now doubting yourself…” A tear slipped down her cheek as she took in this beautiful man who had spent every second of their relationship pulverizing her assumptions.
Nathan reached up, wiping the tear away, and waited for her to finish.
“I meant it when I said I believed you, Nathan. I love what we have. I love the way you touch me and kiss me and hold me. I am addicted to the way you take charge and push me out of my comfort zone. I am obsessed with how you become submissive the moment I become the aggressor. I’m overwhelmed in the best way by how you have treated me since the day we met.
I wavered. Everything slammed into me and I let all my past feelings rise up. ”
She took his face between her hands again, relishing in the way his face relaxed with her touch. She had the same effect on him as he did on her it would seem.
The words sat there, right at the tip of her tongue. But she didn’t want to say them as some form of reassurance. She didn’t want to cheapen those three words because she felt them with her entire being and it didn’t feel right to say them right now.
So instead of using her lips to utter the truth, she kissed him, hoping he’d feel them instead.
He pulled back after the kisses turned lazy, falling away from her onto the bed.
“So,” he asked, his head tilting to the side. “We’re okay?”
Octavia followed him down, her hair flopped forward, framing her face and brushing against his jaw.
“I think as long as we are open and honest with one another, we’ll be more than okay,” she said.
“I don’t want to be surprised by headlines if you know something is coming.
” He opened his mouth and she covered it with her hand.
“I mean something like this where you’ve been summoned to a meeting because something big is going to break.
I know there could be hit pieces published that don’t have a shred of truth, but for things like this assault case, I need honesty.
I need communication. I need us to be a united front.
The very last thing I want is to be suspicious of you or your motives.
I need you to be braver than the sport allows you to be off the ice. ”
“I want that,” Nathan whispered. “I want to be the guy who stands up when everyone else stays seated. I want to be the guy who calls out bad behaviour instead of the guy who ignores it just because that’s what I’ve been trained to do.”
Octavia’s lips ghosted across his. “Old dog.” She took his bottom lip between her teeth and dragged it between them, enjoying the hiss he released as it slipped free. “New tricks.”
Nathan slid his hands up her thighs to grip her waist. “I’m a very enthusiastic learner.” He growled before putting her on her back on the bed in one quick move.
It was sexy as hell but Octavia quickly lost herself in a fit of giggles as Nathan hovered over her.
“Oh, you find that funny, Autumn girl?” he asked, dipping to nip at her neck.
“Mmhmm.” She hummed as he licked across her skin, easing the sting from his teeth.
“Good,” he said, kissing her quickly and then disappearing from view. “Your laugh is one of my favourite sounds.” She smiled as he went to work undoing her jeans. “Do you want to know my other favourite sound?” he asked as he tugged her jeans so they slipped down her legs.
“I would love to know.” She panted, anticipation dripping from her words.
Nathan didn’t say anything else as she heard his knees settle on the hardwood, his grip tightening on her thighs as he spread her legs.
Every time he did this she was transported back to the hotel.
Back to that first time that changed everything.
They were never supposed to see each other again and now here they were, weeks later on a little getaway, about to look for a cottage.
Well, Nathan was looking but he wanted her help.
Wanted her to be part of this big decision with plans that stretched well beyond a single season.
She keened as he flattened his tongue against her, applying the perfect amount of pressure to her clit. Moaning his name, the end of it lost in a whimper.
He hummed his approval, slipping a single finger into her, tapping that sensitive spot inside her that made her entire body vibrate.
“That sound, goddamn,” he rasped. “When I’m alone on the road, I swear I hear it in my dreams. I crave that fucking sound, baby.” He curled his finger again and her back rose from the bed, arching against his mouth as he went back to work.
“Nathan.” Octavia whimpered as the orgasm crashed into her, making her wrap her legs around him, holding him against her as she rode the wave of pleasure, unwilling to let him move until she was completely spent.
When her legs went slack, Nathan rose from the floor, pushing her sweater up her body as he pressed kisses over her skin, pausing a little when he laid one on the swell of her breast.
“Thank you for coming”—he paused, grinning down at her—“with me.” He didn’t give her a chance to reply as his lips met hers and she figured it was just as well because she wasn’t sure she could form words at the moment anyway.
Something smelled amazing and Octavia opened her eyes slowly, forgetting momentarily that she wasn’t at her place or Nathan’s.
She laid there for a while, listening to the distant sounds of something being mixed vigorously, occasionally drowned out by the sound of Gord Downie singing about seeing constellations revealing themselves.
She squirmed under the covers, stretching with a little squeal added for good measure.
Nathan was probably making hollandaise sauce.
He told her he could, and because of her skepticism, he told her he’d take that as a challenge to blow her mind.
Something she welcomed since blowing her mind was something he was quite proficient at.
He’d blown it three times last night and she was more than happy to let him keep doing that.
Footsteps dragged her from memories of last night and she looked to the open door when they stopped.
She allowed herself to smile openly as he leaned against the door, hands in the pockets of his well-worn sweats, hair still styled by sleep, a grin that would melt the clothes from her body if she was wearing any.
“Morning, beautiful,” he said, pushing off the door and walking slowly to her side of the bed. “Breakfast is ready.” He sat on the edge of the bed, gripped the duvet in one fist and slowly dragged it down her body, revealing inch after inch of the skin he’d thoroughly kissed last night.
She sat up, leaning back on her hands, letting him get his fill. Heat radiated throughout her body the longer he looked and she wondered if perhaps they had time for him to blow her mind one more time in here before breakfast.
As if reading her mind, he leaned in, forcing her to lie back while he caged her in. Her breath caught as his lips descended to her throat, kissing down to her collarbone before heading north again.
“The realtor is going to be here to pick us up in an hour, but when we get back”—he licked her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, inviting him inside, but he backed away—“I’m going to make you scream my name so loud it’ll echo in the rafters of this cottage for decades.”
Holy shit. She shuddered, knowing he would absolutely keep his word.
“You don’t think you can get me to scream it now, handsome?”
“Oh, no, I know I could. I just know that once I start, stopping is going to be an issue. Also”—he sat back, eyes glued to hers—“I want to hear you moan when you eat breakfast.”
“Moan? It’s that good, eh?” she teased, slipping her legs off the bed and standing in front of him.
He swallowed, nodding as his eyes trailed down her body and reaching out as though he couldn’t stop himself.
“Oh.” She stepped back, out of his reach, shaking her head. “Absolutely no touching until that sauce you’re so confident in has me begging you to fuck me.”
Nathan’s teeth dragged over his bottom lip and she wondered if he was going to follow along or break. He stood, his erection obvious as he stepped closer.
“What if I eat you while you eat breakfast?”
Octavia pushed her shoulders back and stood taller. “I don’t know. If that hollandaise is as good as you claim I may never need you to eat me again.”
His face finally cracked when he laughed, grabbing her face and kissing her quickly. “I fucking adore you,” he said, his smile wide as he shook his head, dropped his hands, and headed toward the door. “Clock’s tickin’, babe.”
“Still thinking about that sauce, eh?” Nathan whispered when Octavia had missed yet another question the realtor asked while they walked around the second cottage of the morning.
“Sorry?” she asked, looking up at him.
“Denise asked if the kitchen would work. It needs a couple updates,” Nathan reiterated.
Octavia had been staring at the staged stovetop, her mind wandering back to the view of the kitchen earlier, the flavours of their breakfast still fresh on her tongue despite having brushed her teeth.
“Um.” She blinked out of her stupor. “Yeah, I mean, this place is great, I don’t think small upgrades here and there should be a disqualifier.
What do you think?” she asked, turning her attention to Nathan, trying hard not to focus too hard on the way his finger snuck under the hem of her sweater, grazing her skin.
“I’d cook on an open fire if it meant the cottage felt right,” he said, making the realtor laugh.
“And does this one feel right?” she asked, her smile hopeful as she looked between them.
Octavia spun in a slow circle. While this cottage had more character than Nathan’s agent’s place and the first place they’d viewed combined, something didn’t quite feel right about it.
“I think the lake is too far away,” Nathan said, staring out the small kitchen window.
Octavia realized that is what felt wrong. The structure itself was pretty much everything she would want and what he had talked about wanting, but the distance between them and the lake was a bit of a letdown.
“You could always move it closer,” the agent said.
“The lake?” Octavia squeaked, wondering just how rich people were up here that the idea of moving a lake closer was something they actually thought about.
The agent chuckled at her reaction. “No, the cottage could technically be moved closer. A few others have done that around here.”
“They moved the cottage to be closer to the lake?” Nathan confirmed.
“Yes. Or further away.”
“I think I’d prefer to find a place that is the perfect distance already rather than having to move it.”
“Well, let’s hope that the next place offers that.”
The next place did not. Nor did the fourth. The fifth however…
“What do you think?” Nathan asked quietly while they stood alone on the deck that hung over the water.
Octavia looked around, squinting as she peered into the distance, loving that she couldn’t see another cottage. They were set back in a cove, making the property seem far more private than anything else they’d looked at.
The cottage itself had four bedrooms, two bathrooms, an open concept living space, and a screened-in porch she could imagine playing games in.
Things were modern enough without making it feel like a downtown condo and a boathouse offered another guest space.
She smiled up at him, wrapping an arm around his arm as she snuggled closer, partly to escape the wind that had picked up, but mainly because she liked when his body was pressed against hers.
“I think it’s perfect.”
Nathan nodded before squinting out at the frozen lake below them. “I could definitely see us here.”
Us. He could see “us” here. Because he adores me, she thought.