Chapter 36
Enzo
ICAN’T BELIEVE I’M DOING THIS. I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M HERE, IN MICHIGAN OF all places.
Never thought I’d see the day, but here we are.
I manage to muster up what little courage I have left.
All my efforts have been in vain. Elena has completely shut me out, Tony and my own mother refuse to tell me where she is.
Evelyn hasn’t told me either and I know she won’t but that’s not why I’m here at her front door.
I need to know what happened to Elena that day in the hospital when she recoiled from me. There is some past trauma there that I triggered. Something happened to her before and Evelyn knows what that something is.
Knock!
Knock!
No response.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
I pound on the door.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming I’m coming hold your horses.”
The door swings open. Big round eyes stare back at me.
“Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me.” She blurts out and attempts to slam the door in my face, but I’m quicker and I totally anticipated her doing just that so I wedged my foot in her doorway before she could actually execute the move.
“What do you want MARINO?”
“I need your help Evie… please.”
“You must be desperate. That’s the first time you’ve called me Evie.”
“I am.”
“If you need help removing that stick from your ass, I have to tell you, there’s nobody strong enough to pull that off.”
“Charming as ever Evelyn.”
“I know. So, what do you want? And don’t ask me where she is because I’m not telling you.”
“I didn’t expect you to. I just… at the hospital, we had an argument. I raised my voice at her and I kind of got into her face and she… reacted badly.”
“What do you mean, badly?’
“May I come in?” I look left to right and notice the eyes of the neighbours narrowing at me. Reluctantly, Evie steps aside and waves me in.
“Explain!” I take a seat on her overly soft sofa and take a deep breath.
“She flinched when I raised my hand to point a finger at her. She shrivelled back, curling into herself. Her face went pale and she started to tremble. She refused to even look at me and she hid in Tony’s arms.”
“So, she never told you then.”
“Told me what?”
“Elena is suffering from PTSD”
“PTSD? From what?”
“It’s a long story and frankly it’s not mine to tell.”
“Evie… please.”
“Urgh… why did you have to be such an ass? Fine, before I tell you anything. I need to know Marino. I need to know why you’re here. What do you want from Elena? She already left. It’s been three weeks and she hasn’t returned, that should tell you how much you hurt her.”
“Honestly… despite every cell in my body fighting it, I fell in love with her. I love her.”
“Did you come to that realization before or after you behaved like a complete jackass?”
“After.” I admit. “I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love again.
When she was with me everything felt so comfortable, it was such an easy transition from her being just Angelo’s nanny to her becoming something more.
I took it for granted and I never really paid much attention to what these feelings could mean.
Not until she recoiled from me at the hospital and that simple action burned a hole in my soul.
I never want anyone to look at me in that way, especially not Elena.
In that moment I realized the hurt I saw on her face made me feel the same way I’d felt when I heard that my son was injured. What is that, if not love?”
“Well, look at you getting all poetic and shit.”
“Evelyn!”
“Okay, okay. I hear you and I understand. Believe me I’m not your biggest fan but I get why she fell for you; I get why she trusted you.
You are the embodiment of everything she’s ever wanted in a man.
Strong, fierce, loyal to a fault, faithful, and yes, you fucked up but this goes deeper than just the whole shit show at the park and then the hospital.
It goes even deeper than the PTSD. Enzo, there were so many underlying issues before she ever took Angel to that park.
The relationship was already on the verge of dying…
your tantrum was just the final nail in the coffin. ”
“That’s not true. We were fine.” I know for a fact we were fine before I left for New York… weren’t we?
“Were you?” I shake my head in confusion trying to think if I had missed something. Evie sighs at me and huffs out a breath.
“Are you done with your Jeremy complex?”
“What the hell is that?”
“Urgh. Do you not watch tv, you know The Vampire Diaries… Jeremy cheated on his girlfriend with a ghost.” I look at Evie like she’s grown another head.
“Never mind. The fact of the matter is, you were living your best life. Keeping the house, you built for your wife, living in said house with your current girlfriend, who happened to be your nanny so she would be there every waking hour to deal with the ghosts of your past, live in her house, look after her son, and fuck her husband all while having all those pictures around constantly haunting her, reminding her of her place in your life. The closet still full of Victorias stuff and that summer dress with the perfume. Did you think Elena wouldn’t notice?
I noticed, Tony noticed and Elena sure as fuck noticed.
The only one who didn’t notice… is you.”
I had never given any of that any thought. My mistakes now glaringly obvious. All those conversations with Tony. ‘You don’t deserve her brother.’ Elena’s words to me. ‘We should pack some of the photos away, not all, and not at once, but gradually.’
‘I’m not the villain in Elena’s story.’ I practically shoved her into my brothers’ arms. He’s in love with her. Oh my God.
“Enzo? You, okay?”
“No. I didn’t pay attention. She asked me to pack the photos and I didn’t. She’s been living in my sanctuary for almost a year and it must have been torture for her.” I shake my head, chest tightening and nausea rolls over me in waves. How could I have been so cruel?
“I was so selfish.”
“Yeah, you’re a dick. So, I’ll ask you this… do you love her enough to fight for her? Because I can tell you for certain, she is not coming back easily and certainly not without some major adjustments on your part.”
“I love her Evie… more than I ever loved Victoria. I’ll do anything.” My confession takes me by surprise and judging by the look on Evelyn’s face she’s equally shocked.
“Alright then so let’s start with Matt.”
She tells me everything, from the cheating, the trip to Chicago, going back, packing up and then…
the attack. Had Evelyn not been there, I dread to think what could have happened to her.
My mind is swimming with the information overload and flashes invade my memory, her bracelets, so many bracelets, covering the scars on her wrists.
Scars that bastard caused. It all makes sense now, her lack of trust in men, the way she flinched, the fear in her eyes…
and when I told her she’s not Angelo’s mother…
‘never you’. That’s what I had said to her.
All she wanted was to be wanted and that’s what I said… ‘never you’.
“You okay there, big guy? You look a little green.”
I think I’m going to be sick.
“How am I ever going to make this right? Your assessment is accurate; this relationship has been dying for a while. I was draining it of life from the very first day. How do I correct so many wrongs?”
I’m full-on panicking now because truth be told I am a trouble shooter, I can find a loophole in a contract, negotiate an agreement to my benefit. I can fix almost any problem… except this one.
“You can start from the beginning. Change now what you couldn’t then. Do now what she asked you to do then. Become the man you want to be for her.”
“But I can’t even talk to her. She blocked me out of her life in every way. She was a gem, fucking angelic and now I can’t reach her.”
“You don’t need to reach her just yet Enzo. You need to work on yourself first because there’s no way I’ll let you anywhere near her, broken as you are. If you want your angel back, you must first create heaven for her. Angels don’t live in hell.”
In that moment, I understand what I have to do. I’ll fight for Elena, but I can only do that when I know I’m worthy of fighting for her in the first place.
I get up to leave.
“For what it’s worth Enzo, I hope you two work it out. You’re not like Matt and you both belong together. Even I can see that. I’m rooting for you. Don’t make me regret it.”
“Thank you, Evie. You’ve been surprisingly… helpful.” She grins at me and I step towards her and pull her into a hug. She lets out a little gasp of surprise and I let out a low chuckle. I pull away from her thanking her again.
“I’m off to win my girl back.”