40. Lirion #2
“Surely you don’t think they’ll just welcome me with open arms? I’ve only known them for a few weeks.”
Her eyes rolled so hard the move was damn near audible.
Cutting himself off, Lirion muttered, “My question is entirely reasonable.”
“Lir. Brother. My favorite dumbass. Might I point out it wasn’t just Fenric who put it all on the line to help you? Every single one of them did, even when you changed the plan mid-heist. Not only did you trust them, but they also trusted you.”
Well, shit, put like that…
Lirion blew out a breath and stared at the water some more. Quite peaceful water. Unlike the emotions and thoughts whirling about in his head.
Part of him desperately wanted Aria to be right.
He would love to fold himself into this group and never leave them.
Wouldn’t that be wonderful? To be a brother-in-arms with these men who genuinely cared for each other.
To have that security, that comradeship that Lirion had never experienced in his life prior to meeting them all.
Honestly, having them as friends and brothers was a fantasy in and of itself.
Lirion had traveled the length and breadth of Moorwood for years and never found a group like theirs. That’s how rare a breed they were.
Aria was right, though; he couldn’t consider joining without thinking of Fenric.
He liked Fenric, he wanted to stay with the man, and he was reasonably sure Fenric might feel the same. He could feel a shadow of Fenric’s feelings for him each time they were together.
But if he was wrong…
Even the imagined rejection felt like a lance piercing Lirion’s heart.
Didn’t that say everything he needed to know?
“Aria, I might be more attached to Fenric than I realized.”
“I told you,” she murmured.
“How can I not be?” Lirion sighed, closing his eyes briefly before reopening them. “When he treats me this well. He’s done so much for me and been so kind and supportive. Honestly? Storming a castle on his behalf doesn’t sound like enough to repay him.”
“I hear you, but have you considered that he might be in love with you?”
Honestly, no, he hadn’t. Humans were gushy and a little cringey when they fell in love. Fenric hadn’t acted like that, but could love be one of the deeper emotions from him that Lirion hadn’t identified yet? “I don’t know. It’s not like I understand human love.”
“No, it’s kind of its own strange beast, isn’t it? Still, would you welcome that?”
Would he? It sounded tempting, in a way. Because that meant Fenric wanted to stay at his side. “But, Aria, he might not want a long-standing relationship with me. And if we had a long-standing relationship, would it be monogamous? A lot of humans prefer that.”
Just saying the word monogamous made Aria’s entire face scrunch up in a mix of confusion and distaste.
Their kind rarely ever attempted something like that.
It was unheard of. Feeding from just one person?
The idea was crazy. And yet, the notion of being with Fen only didn’t leave him with a sense of panic.
In fact, it was the idea of sharing his body with anyone other than Fen that was leaving him feeling a bit sick.
“No, never mind that. I’m just looking for trouble when I don’t even know what Fen wants,” Lirion muttered suddenly, shaking his head.
“Okay, but what if he doesn’t want a relationship? Would you abandon the entire group?”
“I might have to. It would be too awkward. I don’t know if the rest of the men would be willing to feed me if Fenric stops. I’d be forced out one way or another.”
Aria nodded, accepting his words. It was a simple fact in their lives. Sometimes, the complex sexual relationships they had with groups forced their hands even when they’d prefer to make a different decision entirely. This was such a situation.
“Still,” she pushed, “if you had the choice? If you could choose what to do and everything magically aligned as you wished, what would you choose?”
Lirion didn’t have to ponder long. “I’d stay. I’d stay not only with Fen, but with the group as a whole.”
“Then, maybe drop hints as you travel to the next job. Try to suss them out, see if they’d be open to it. Fenric especially. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
The way she said that made him wonder. Eyes narrowed in suspicion, he poked her shoulder. “You know something, don’t you?”
“I might have had some interesting pillow talk last night. Rain admitted he was sad about you leaving soon. That his friendship with you had a deadline attached. In regard to Rain, at least, he’d welcome you to stay. I’m completely confident Puppy feels the same way.”
Lirion perked up. “Oh! That’s two out of the six, then. Thank you for telling me.”
“Inspired some confidence, did it? Then, use your confidence to talk to Fenric.”
His current lover truly was the linchpin of this whole thing. Lirion started gathering up some courage. “I don’t know how to approach this, or how to find the right timing, but I promise I’ll try. If I fail, I might come stay with you for a few weeks until I can figure out what to do next.”
“That’s fine with me. But promise to really try, all right?” Aria’s smile turned wistful. “Honestly, you might be able to live out a fantasy. It would be a waste if you didn’t seize the opportunity.”