Chapter Thirty-Five
Kade
M y eyelids fluttered open, and I was met with the confines of Emelyn's tent.
I glanced down and saw her sleeping at my side.
Her head rested on the edge of the makeshift bed, draped over one arm, while her other hand clasped mine as if she could tether my soul from slipping away.
I lay there, watching her breathe, as relief slowly washed over me.
The impulse to stroke her hair with my free hand arose, but as I shifted, her eyes flew open.
The dark circles beneath them let me know just how exhausted she was. Fuck, how long had I been out?
A beat stretched between us, but then without a word, she moved. Crawling into the bed beside me, she nestled her head into the crook of my arm.
"I was so scared of losing you," she murmured.
I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her closer, feeling the light tremors that racked her frame.
And then she opened up and let the words tumble out of her.
"I've been angry at you for everything you did, for the lies, and for staying away .
. . but I've had time to sit with it, and I can't be angry anymore because I would have done the same thing if I were in your shoes.
Over the years, I did everything in my power to keep Ember away from Ace.
We stayed on the move, I'd put up glamours, we would stick together through it all, and I would have done anything to keep him safe. I’ve realized that's what you were doing, in your own way.” I could feel the shift in the air, in her.
She was letting go. "I . . . I love you, Kade.
"And if the last battle taught me anything, it's that regardless of our long lives, time is never on our side." Her fingers traced patterns over my heart, an intimacy that belied the darkness of our world. "And I don't want to waste another moment being mad at you."
A shudder rippled through me as a tear slipped out and trailed down my cheek.
I remembered the blood-soaked ground squelching under my boots, the scent of iron and smoke winding its way into my nostrils as I wove through the chaos of that battlefield when I’d still been with the Western Wyverns.
My heart pounded against my ribs because it hadn’t been glory or honor that had brought me there.
It had been her. And when I’d seen her and Ace falling from the sky, it had forced me into action.
It had been desperation, a need to protect her at any cost.
Then I’d seen my mate lying still next to her best friend in the bloody soil.
It had been my first time seeing her in person, and even though she’d been unconscious, I’d trembled with nerves.
My breath had hitched, time had slowed, and all I could see had been her pale face.
I’d gathered them both, tended them the best I could, and had dragged them to Willow.
I’d wanted to stay with her, to be there when those fierce eyes had flickered open. But I couldn't. She couldn't know who I was—not yet. So I’d vanished into the shadows, leaving before she could see the man behind the mask.
When fate had twisted again and I’d found myself keeping her captive on my ship, the guilt had bit at my insides.
But circumstances had penned us both into roles we’d never wished to play.
I’d tried to keep my distance, but when I finally couldn’t stand the thought of her being down there anymore and I’d found her being attacked by my soldiers, I’d killed every single one of them.
It hadn’t erased the image of her pain, nor had it quenched the fear that I had come so perilously close to losing her again.
I couldn't stay away any longer. Every fiber of my being had screamed to be near her. Coming so close to losing her had broken the final chains of my restraint. Whether she hated me or not, I would not let her slip through my fingers again. So I’d gotten her to the rebellion, where I’d known she would be the most safe.
And as we’d grown closer, I had never felt more alive. But even as her kiss had branded itself into my memory, I’d known the truth and she hadn’t. I’d known she would never want to be with me.
Then Valla had came for her, and it was as if every nightmare I had ever had replayed in my mind.
Atreya had ordered me to leave it alone, but I couldn’t, wouldn’t leave her there.
Then, while we’d been in Ember, we’d grown closer, and when I’d finally revealed the truth to her, I’d thought maybe there was a chance she could love me.
But after what had happened to Ace, I’d thought everything was destroyed. I’d watched her wrestle with the tangle of lies and loyalty that bound us, fearing that the last strands of our connection had frayed beyond repair.
She could turn me away, curse my name, deny my existence—but it wouldn’t change anything.
It wouldn't stop me from giving every last piece of myself to her for the rest of my life.
Whether she accepted me or not, I would be hers to command because the only thing I knew how to be was the man who loved her wholeheartedly.
I blinked rapidly, trying to clear the tears from my vision, but it was no use.
Through the blur of all the memories, the realization hit me.
Never in the countless nights spent under cold, indifferent stars had I allowed myself to fully imagine this moment.
I’d never thought she would want me after everything. Yet here it was, unfolding before me.
This woman, this incredible, maddening, beautiful woman, my mate, saw through all of those things. She saw the man who had loved her from afar, who had waged wars in her name, who had burned with silent longing that now threatened to consume him whole.
"Say it again," I urged, desperate to hear it again, and again, and again.
Her lips curved into a smile. "I love you, Kade."
Each word was a salve to the wounds that marred my battered, black heart. I drank them in, letting the truth of her love wash over me, cleanse me, renew me.
And as I held her there, amidst the chaos of a world too cruel, I understood that there was nothing I wanted more, nothing I needed more, than those words spoken from my mate's lips.
I cupped her face, and she placed her forehead against mine, her eyes never leaving mine.
“I love you,” she said again, swiping the tears from my cheeks as she leaned in and sealed her words with a kiss.