Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Saskia glanced around the first floor before dropping into one of the armchairs in the sitting room. From her vantage point, she could see both the front and back doors. Opening her phone, she checked her messages again.
Not once since Saskia’s arrival had Shola ignored a text from her, yet Saskia had sent her five messages in the space of an hour, all demanding to know her whereabouts, and nothing.
Since becoming Saskia’s bodyguard, Shola had always been two steps away from Saskia, taking her job as bodyguard seriously. Now she seemed to have gone AWOL.
Saskia tried texting again.
I’m not going to shoot you.
She wasn’t expecting a response, so she was a bit surprised when the typing bubble popped up.
That’s not what the bullet hole in the basement says.
Saskia thought about apologizing but she really wasn’t sorry. At the time, she’d believed Shola had killed Radik.
Radik took the gun away. Stop hiding from me.
He’d given her another gun, which she’d tucked away in her nightstand drawer, but she didn’t think Shola would appreciate the information.
I think it would be better if I watched over you from a distance.
No, that’s creepy.
Saskia waited for a response. None came.
You can’t stay mad at me forever
She probably could, others had done it, but it was going to make for some absentee bodyguarding if Shola refused to be around her.
“I’m not mad,” Shola said from behind her.
Saskia jumped in her chair, twisting around to look at her. “You sure seem mad to me.”
Shola sighed heavily, dropping into the chair opposite Saskia.
“I’m not angry, I’m ashamed.” When Saskia frowned, she explained, “I’m supposed to make sure nothing happens to you, but on my watch, you were terrorized and stuffed barefoot into a safe room wearing only your pajamas with no one to explain what was happening.
Then, after seeing us taser Radik in the video feed, you felt you needed to defend yourself.
” Her shoulders slumped. “If I’d taken better care of you, done my job more thoroughly, he would never have been able to touch you. ”
Oh shit, that was a lot from a woman who barely spoke most days.
Saskia pondered Shola’s speech. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “There’s so much wrong with that I don’t even know where to begin. First off, you know you’re human, right? You have to sleep, and presumably the best time for you to sleep is when I’m sleeping.”
“There are sensors on your doors and windows. I get an alert the minute you leave your room.”
That piece of info was yet another creepy thing for Saskia to unpack later. For now, she was trying to make her bodyguard feel better.
“What happened when you got the alert last night?” Saskia asked.
“I checked the cameras to see if you got up to get some air on the balcony, like you sometimes do.”
“And when you saw I hadn’t gone outside?”
Shola crossed one leg over the other, her expression thoughtful. It was weirdly human for a woman whose every move was made with robotic precision. “I checked the other house cameras, which is when I saw Radik running down the basement stairs toward the safe room with you in tow.”
“Let me guess what happened next. You threw on your clothes as fast as you could, grabbed your weapon, and tracked us through the house. You found Radik in the foyer before tasing him to ensure the safety of everyone else in the household. It that pretty close?” Shola nodded.
“What exactly were you supposed to have done differently?” It sounded like the same procedure the guards on the Koba estate followed.
“I was a senior member of the elite South African National Defense Force. You don’t get to that position without having precision and perfection in everything you do.” Her gaze dropped. “I just… know I could have done better last night, saved you from the shock.”
Saskia was warmed that Shola seemed to care about her mental wellbeing as much as her physical.
“You’re right, it was definitely a shock when the man I love whisked me through the house to the basement and locked me in a room.
” She smiled slightly. “But it was minor compared to some of the things I experienced back home in Prague.”
“It shouldn’t matter what you’ve experi….” She cut herself off, her eyes widening. “You love him?”
“Yes, I’m very certain I do,” Saskia said, then added, “Don’t change the subject, we’re talking about you. It sounds like you’re beating yourself up over something you can’t control. Maybe you prefer things to be perfect, work like clockwork, but that doesn’t happen when other people are involved.”
Shola nodded slowly. “I suppose you’re a little chaotic for a principal who’s supposed to be used to having bodyguards.”
“Excuse me. I meant Radik, not me.” Saskia wanted to be offended, but Shola was right, she’d always been bad at having bodyguards.
“I’m saying that you probably didn’t count on a boss with post-traumatic stress disorder when you first took the job.
Radik brought me here to be his companion, and he brought you here to protect me.
You probably didn’t count on having to protect me from the man who hired you. ”
Shola didn’t speak for a minute, then said, “This is my first civilian job outside the South African military. I suppose I’ll have to learn to be more flexible.”
“For your own sake,” Saskia agreed. “You can’t take on Radik’s PTSD. All you can do is manage as best you can when he has an episode, like you did last night. Who knows what could’ve happened if you and Nuani hadn’t stopped him from leaving the house.”
Saskia saw a flash of vulnerability in Shola’s eyes, but it was quickly shuttered.
Shola spent the rest of the day at Saskia’s side or a few steps behind depending on what she was doing.
As it was a lovely warm and not too humid day, Saskia decided to wander Marefiya, getting to know the people who lived within the walls. When she hit the shops and street vendors, Shola told her she had access to Radik’s money and should charge whatever she wanted to the main house.
Saskia had money of her own, saved up from her job and from her late parents’ estate. She thought about saying so and making a point of never using Radik’s money, but then she rethought the situation.
Was she allowed to leave? Go visit her family? No, she was not. Therefore, she was still the victim of a kidnapping, even if she loved her kidnapper. It was her prerogative to spend his money. He owed her compensation until the situation was resolved.
She made a point of purchasing at least one thing at every place she visited.
“So beautiful!” she exclaimed at a street shop that sold hand-sewed linens.
She bought a new set of sheets for Radik’s bed and a couple of pillows for her room.
“Need anything?” she asked Shola, deciding her bodyguard had earned a gift after her terrible night.
When Shola refused to pick, Saskia bought her a gorgeous handsewn yellow, orange and white patterned quilt for her bed.
At the next stop, Saskia bought ceramic cannisters for the kitchen and a basketful of beads at the next. For Nikka, she purchased a colourful headscarf and a leatherbound journal. For Nonna, a wide-brimmed straw hat and rubber boots that she could wear in the garden.
Satisfied with her purchases, she told Shola she wanted to grab a cold drink at the cafe Radik had taken her to earlier in the week.
As they walked, Shola said, “Radik will meet you at the cafe.”
Saskia frowned. “How does he know where I’m going?”
Shola tapped her head.
“You sent him a message telepathically?”
Shola rolled her eyes and bent to show Saskia her earpiece.
Saskia gasped. “Is he listening to everything I say when you’re around me?”
“No, not at all,” Shola reassured her. “When I push a button on it, it connects with him directly and I update him on your whereabouts. He can connect with me the same way.”
“So he’s tracking my every move?” Saskia didn’t know why she was surprised. The man had been tracking her for the past several years, why would he stop now that they were living in the same household?
“Not your every move,” Shola said, then flashed her a wry smile. “But most of them.”
“That’s incredibly invasive and I’m not sure I’m okay with it.” She thought about it for a few seconds. “Nope, not okay with it.”
“Well, you can take it up with the man himself.” Shola nodded as a giant shadow stepped away from the building they were approaching.
Saskia opened her mouth to give him hell for constantly invading her privacy but before she could say anything, he wrapped his arms around her and bent over, capturing her against his chest as he lowered his mouth to hers.
He ravaged her lips in a hard, hot, sizzling kiss. His tongue swept against hers, sending a storm of sensations through her. Her heart stopped, her brain fried, and her hands sweated as she gripped him for dear life.
He didn’t give her a chance to catch her breath and soon her head was swimming and black dots were threatening to carry her into unconsciousness. She decided she was fine with swooning as long as it was in his arms.
When he finally lifted his head, he said, “You love me.” His lips were a hairsbreadth from hers, his voice a deep rumble, barely audible, but she caught the wonder, the pleasure in his tone.
“Yes,” she said breathlessly.
“I’ve waited so long.” It came out as a groan and his grip on her waist grew fiercer as he lifted her off her feet, kissing her again.
When he set her back down, her head was spinning and her heart was beating so frantically, she thought it would burst from her chest. She stumbled back a step when it looked like he would close the distance between them again.
“Mad at you,” she gasped, pressing a hand over her fluttering heart.
He stopped, his face crumpling with anguish, his shoulders slumping. “I was a beast last night. I’m sorry, Saskia. It won’t happen again.”
Her lips twitched in amusement. It sounded like he was talking about sex, which would have been a lot better than what actually happened. “I don’t mean last night. I’m talking about suffocating me with surveillance and security. You have cameras in my bedroom! Sensors on my doors and windows!”
His face resumed its usual unreadable expression. “My security measures are non-negotiable.”
“I know,” she grumbled, as he led her to the open-air cafe. “That’s why I’m mad at you.”
“How do I make it acceptable for you?” He pulled a chair out at one of the tables for her to sit on.
She studied him as he sat opposite her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Shola take a position nearby, her gaze constantly sweeping the area.
“Is it Shola?” he persisted. “Do you want me to replace her? Is she upsetting you?”
“No, of course not. I want…” She wanted her freedom.
She wanted a life where she could be her own person without restrictions.
But she also wanted a life where she could love Radik and he could love her back.
And her two wants were at odds with each other.
She was in almost the same boat as the one she’d been in at home in Prague.
Only this time, she was sacrificing her freedom for love instead of obligation.
She had to swallow tears before she could say, “Never mind.” She tried to smile. “I’m over my mad. I want to talk about you.”
“Me?” His eyebrows lifted. “Ask me anything.” He spread his arms wide in invitation.
“Tell me about last night. Tell me why you thought we were being attacked?”