Chapter Twelve #2
It was a strange sensation to be joined so intimately, but as she relaxed around him, it began to feel good. “I want this,” she reminded him. “I want you.”
He grasped her hips and lifted her up, as if to withdraw from her. She began to protest, but then he lowered her. She let out a gasp at the sensation.
“Ride me,” he commanded. “If this is what you want from me, then take it.” It was clear that he didn’t want to force her into the lovemaking. But from the warmth in his voice, she understood that he wanted her, too.
She felt awkward at first, but it was easier when she closed her eyes. “What should I do?”
“Lift up on your knees and then lower yourself,” he said. “Any way that feels good to you.”
It went against everything she’d imagined, but she was making love to Raine, instead of the other way around.
And slowly, she began to thrust upon him, shallow at first, and then deeper.
Being in command made it easier to adjust to the soreness, and soon enough, she no longer cared.
His hands moved up to cup her breasts, and he fingered her nipples as she moved up and down.
When she sat upon him, leaning back slightly, he moved one hand down to her hooded flesh.
The moment he caressed her there, she clenched his length.
“Oh, Raine.” She could hardly breathe, and it took an effort to continue her movement.
The delicious friction was guiding her toward another release, and she wanted it so badly.
He started to move within her, but she held his hips back. “Wait.”
He understood what she wanted, and while they were joined, he sat up, still caressing her while he suckled her nipple. The burgeoning feelings were gathering up like a thunderstorm inside her, and she arched against him.
“Let go,” he ordered, “and let me feel you come apart. I want to be inside you when you feel your pleasure.”
The wildness was gathering momentum, building up until she could hardly hold back the moans of excitement. She arched hard, welcoming the rushing sensations as they crashed over her. Her body was a liquid heat, pulsing around his shaft, and she bit back a scream as he thrust forward.
This time, he rolled her onto her back, and she could only hold on as he drove himself inside her.
The reckless fire was rising hotter, and she came apart once again as he plunged and withdrew.
She scored his back with her fingernails, giving in to instinct, until at last, his breathing deepened, and he collapsed on top of her.
Carice welcomed the weight of him, feeling beloved. Their bodies were still joined, and she held him close to her heart, unable to hold back her smile.
“Thank you,” she whispered, reveling in the touch of his body upon hers.
She could feel his tension, but in answer, he leaned up and kissed her. The need to sleep overcame her, and she closed her eyes, letting go of all else but the welcome sanctuary of Raine’s arms.
He awakened a few hours later with Carice nestled against him. Their legs were tangled together, and the sleep softened the features of her face. He supposed he ought to feel remorse for taking advantage of her. And yet, all he could feel was grateful. For these few moments, he was at peace.
She snuggled against him and opened her eyes. He waited to see if her expression would hold any regret. Instead, she sent him a quiet smile.
“Are you hungry?” he asked. “I brought you food earlier.”
She nodded. “I think I distracted you from it. Why don’t you bring it here, and we’ll eat together?”
He rose from the bed and fetched the tray. Upon it was bread, meat and cheese. He offered it to Carice, and she chose a piece of cheese. “There was a time when I ate nothing but bread.”
He lay beside her while she ate, wanting her to have her fill before he touched any of it. “Why?”
“The healer thought it would keep my stomach from hurting so much.” She finished the cheese and reached for the meat. “It never did. There was a time when I tried not to eat because it hurt so much. Or perhaps I wanted to die, rather than wed the High King.”
Raine reached out to touch her flat stomach, feeling his own tension tighten inside. He’d hated watching her be so ill, so weak. “You were starving yourself.”
“It didn’t hurt as much when I refused food.” She sent him a faint smile. “It was only when I spent time with you that I was able to eat without pain. At least until we stayed at the village.”
He drew his hand over her skin, stroking it. It felt as if there was something he ought to understand, something that was causing her illness. “Were you ever well when you ate at home?”
“Not often. And in the last year, I grew worse.”
He still couldn’t let go of the suspicion that she’d been poisoned.
If she’d had enemies within her father’s house, they might have tampered with her food to make her ill.
There were many kinds of poison, some of which grew worse over time.
Even if others had accidentally eaten her food, it might not have affected them with a smaller portion.
Then, too, if she had lost a great deal of weight, even a slight amount of poison would be more potent.
Yet, it didn’t explain why she had suddenly grown ill after they’d visited the village of Casheldrum. They had been alone, and there was no possible means of anyone poisoning her.
Raine gave her more cheese and reached for the bread. He was about to offer it to her, when suddenly he remembered what she’d said before—that she had only eaten bread in the past year. He frowned at the thought and then asked, “Had you thought that it could be bread making you sick?”
She broke into a laugh. “Don’t be foolish. Why would bread make me ill? I’ve eaten it all my life.”
“You said your illness grew worse last year. And that was when you ate nothing but bread.” He stared at her, thinking for a moment. “You ate no bread at the abbey, for we had none.”
“But I ate a little at Laochre on the night I arrived. I was fine then.”
“Until the next day,” he reminded her. “And you had some at Casheldrum, didn’t you?”
“The morning we left, yes.” Her expression grew thoughtful, and he wondered if it was possible.
She leaned back and regarded him. “But I cannot think that it has anything to do with my illness.” Her breasts were soft pebbles in the cool air, and she burrowed closer to him.
It took only seconds for him to grow rock hard.
“Don’t eat any bread for a few weeks,” he suggested. “See if that helps.” There could be no harm in it. Her hands moved down to his hips as she pressed her body against his.
“I could try, though I’m not sure it would do any good.
” Her hand wandered down his leg, and she brought her other arm around his neck.
The posture brought her breasts into prominent view, and the distraction made him yearn to touch her again.
He gave in to the urge and kissed one nipple, then the other.
She moved her leg over his hip and said, “I’m cold, Raine.”
“I know. That’s why I’m warming you.” He covered her body with his own, still paying homage to her breasts. “I want you to be burning hot when I’ve finished.”
She sent him a secret smile. “Have you decided to stay with me, then?”
He didn’t answer her question but drew her legs around his waist. His shaft was pressed against her intimately, and he rubbed against her.
He didn’t want to face the fate that lay before them, and yes, he did want to stay with this woman.
But it meant abandoning not only his sisters, but his lands and his people.
He had to atone for his parents’ deaths, and he could not turn his back on them.
“Please,” she whispered, but he suspected she was not speaking of lovemaking. As he thrust inside her, she moaned, squeezing his length. Her blue eyes held his, and he slowed his pace, joining their bodies while he never took his gaze from her.
“You haven’t answered my question,” she prompted, raising her knees to take him deeper. He plunged inside her, using his mouth and hands to guide her toward the edge of desire, his fingers digging into her hips as she drove him past the brink of reason.
No, he hadn’t answered her question. For there was no answer to give.
Carice offered no conversation at all when they left on the following morning. She had tried everything to convince Raine to stay with her, but his silence was damning. He didn’t bother hiding their pathway now, and she was well aware of the sun spearing her eyes as they rode eastward.
She would have to confront him soon. Although she knew he cared for her—by the way he’d made love to her and the way he kept glancing back to ensure she was all right—he didn’t love her. Not enough to give up his purpose.
Her stomach ached again but not because of food.
It was from the knowledge that she couldn’t change him.
This man had stolen her heart, and now he was about to break it.
Carice tried to tell herself that there was still time, but she knew the truth—it was over now.
She had to stop Raine before they rode any farther.
Halfway along their journey, she drew her horse to a stop. The sun was bright in the sky, gleaming across shadowed hills. “I want to know why you won’t speak to me, Raine.”
“I find that there is little I can say to you,” he said. “Our time together grows short.”
“And you want to end it sooner by increasing the pace of our horses?”
His shoulders lowered, and he finally drew his own mount to a stop. “Were it my choice, I would not leave you, Carice.” The weight of his guilt was evident in his tone. “But I have wronged you. More than you know.”
Her face softened at that, for at least he seemed reluctant to betray her. “Come and talk with me awhile, Raine.”