Chapter 48
The Strain of Secrets
Satsuki was fidgeting again; Shūji slid a reassuring arm around her shoulders.
Even though he wasn’t as tall as Haruki—far from it—Satsuki’s diminutive stature fit perfectly.
Her proximity made him giddy like a boy—which Elyna would insist he was.
But, well, being a lesbian disqualified her from ranking men’s maturity, with her loving boobs and all.
Boy or not, he could feel his heart skip now that his girlfriend was secured. To gain Satsuki’s trust had been such an uphill battle, what with Haruki looming and having to hide it from Elyna; now, he couldn’t help but savour every little moment.
And Shūji was a master at protecting his own. There was nowhere safer than his embrace in the whole of Tōkyō.
“Do you think she will take it badly?” Satsuki asked for the umpteenth time.
Instead of rolling his eyes, Shūji smiled. His past self would have thrown out a cynical remark, but he now cherished that worrying trait of her. Someone fierce needs to protect that soft heart.
“Better we tell her face to face than she learns it from someone else, ne?”
“But she’s just starting to get better…”
Satsuki nibbled on her lower lip, causing Shūji’s blood to run south; did she realise the things he wanted to do!
Kiss her, and much less politically correct activities.
The kendōka steeled himself with a deep breath.
For once, Katayū’s stupid energy exercise proved useful; it would ground him when temptation lurked in Satsuki’s innocent, but oh so distracting manners.
Despite Elyna’s judgement, Shūji was a man.
Barely an adult, for sure, but so fuelled with testosterone that he sometimes struggled to keep himself in check.
Especially since his special someone welcomed his affections.
Someday, Satsuki would accept bodily worship…
and until then, he needed to stay in control, lest he scare her.
Failure was not an option. Haruki had made things clear in the forest, before the spider fiasco.
His fellow kendōka was ruthless, stickler to the rules, but not above blackmail if it meant keeping Satsuki safe.
Either way, he shouldn’t worry; Shūji was determined to cherish the very first person who had treated him like someone worthy of respect.
Even if it meant ignoring those rose bitten lips. The sound of giddy footsteps pulled his mind out of the gutter. Too giddy to be Elyna’s.
When the golden-haired assistant materialised, eyes puffy but a spring in her gait, Shūji blinked.
Did she just… heal?
“Oh, hey,” she smiled. “What are you both doing here?”
Shūji’s hand grabbed Satsuki’s. “Er,” she squeaked by his side, calling a smirk to his lips. He’d coaxed many of those adorable noises from her these past days. “Ano… are you alright, Elyna-sensei?”
“Much better.” Her face lit up with a genuine smile which left Shūji puzzled. “I see Sano-sensei worked his magic again,” he drawled.
Was it a blush that crept up her cheeks, or just the remnants of a good cry? Her face was still blotchy, sporting the characteristic hue of a torrent of tears.
Perhaps their teacher had just offered to share the burden with his usual gentleness? The man was one of the few adults he respected. Hence the reason why his stepmother had insisted he be placed in Sano’s homeroom. Now that he thought of it, his whole class owed him for that scheme.
Nice, a hidden debt.
“Ah… yes. Sano-sensei offered me a new perspective.”
The cryptic comment called him back to his mission. He’d rather be snogging Satsuki on her sofa than wait in the cold, so better do it now.
“I am glad,” his girlfriend said. “We were very worried…”
Elyna and Shūji snorted in sync, causing Satsuki to frown. “Well, I was worried.”
Stormy blue eyes settled upon their joined hands; Elyna’s lips curved in a secret smile. “Then you don’t have to anymore, Satsuki-chan. But enough of me… Any reason for the ambush?”
A blush crept up his girlfriend’s neck, and Shūji felt his face heat up at Elyna’s knowing look. The teenager cleared his throat, refusing to be bullied in a rare moment of vulnerability. “Ah, yes. We didn’t want you to learn it from someone else.”
He expected Elyna to be disgruntled, but the look she sent him was clearly puzzled. Had he and Haruki read the signs wrong? Elyna didn’t seem fazed that he’d snatched Satsuki right under her nose.
Who’s her love interest, if it’s not Sacchan?
Shūji’s chest loosened in relief just before Elyna pulled them both into a hug, British style. The boy stopped struggling and accepted the affection with a lighter heart; things would get much less awkward than expected. Small victories!
“Good, good for you,” she exclaimed with a little too much volume. “I love you guys.” Then, she fled. Literally fled, long skirt flowing behind her.
“See you later!” Elyna called over her shoulder cheerfully.
Stumped, Shūji shrugged. “Well, that was weird.”
“I told you there was nothing between us.” Satsuki’s voice was tainted with exasperation, but the relief in it was unmistakable.
Shūji turned to face her fully, letting his eyes feast upon her little nose, reddened by the cold. “Well. You’re so cute that I can’t help thinking everyone loves you.”
Satsuki let out a strangled squeak that warmed him from the inside.
“Now don’t hide,” he cajoled, leaning in to give her a soft kiss. Satsuki melted against him as if she belonged there. Her cheeks turned crimson. “Shūji-senpai, not in public.” Despite the chastisement, she didn’t pull away, drinking in his warmth.
“No one’s looking.” He drew back just enough to meet her gaze, then grinned wider. “But I’m all for going to your place. I’ll make you hot chocolate.”
“Certainly not.” Her fingers found his anew, her pinky latched around his firmly. “You’re not touching my mother’s stove.”
Shūji pressed a hand to his chest in mock offence. “As a British lady would say, your wish is my command.” Without waiting for her protest, he started tugging her towards the station.
“Anyway,” he added casually, relishing in the feel of her hands in his. “Haruki-kun will be green with envy.”
Satsuki blinked at him, her eyes so wide they seemed to eat her face. She was so lovely without even trying! “Why, Shūji-senpai?”
“Elyna-chan told me she loved me.”
Satsuki giggled at his silliness, causing his chest to expand with joy. Making her laugh had become a delightful pastime. As for now, he intended to ravish his girlfriend’s mouth for the next hour or so. If Elyna was alright with it, why hold back, uh?
A few train stations from there, Elyna was walking on air; the urge to dance hacked at her heels, and when rain began to fall, she just started singing. Her heart was so full it threatened to burst.
He wants me! Sano-sensei wants me!
Incredulous, Elyna climbed into another wagon and fished out her cell phone. Would she dare? She stared, and stared at the screen, lips still tingling. His smell lingered at her collarbone, faint, but entirely his.
Around her, people stood, exhausted, in the long commute home. Only four stops left. Elyna’s fingers hovered over the screen, and she finally typed in a little message.
Elyna: I’ve never been so happy!
Her thumb froze over the ‘send’ button. Sure, the way Sano had kissed her was a testament to his affection.
But flooding him with girly messages would defeat the purpose, right?
Lost in her musings, Elyna almost missed her stop.
Then jumped through the doors a hair’s breadth before they closed, earning a few disapproving glances.
She only laughed, twirling around in the darkening sky, droplets of rain hitting her face. After spotting worried glances, she finally sobered up and started the little trek home with a goofy smile.
To send or not to send?
Her phone chimed, effectively resolving the stalemate between heart and reason. She fished the device out of her pocket so fast it almost went tumbling down. Saving the item with a squeak, Elyna lit it up.
Unknown number: I hope you can forgive my past mistakes, and the pain I unwillingly caused. I take full responsibility for every tear you shed, and swear that I will strive to be worthy of your affection.
Speechless, Elyna froze in her tracks, nearly causing someone to collide with her. Her heart danced in her chest. Worthy of my affection? And he says he isn’t into poetry, damn.
Gathering her courage, she sent her saved message. Her phone instantly blinked back.
Unknown number: So am I. That kiss made my day. My week. My month. You have no idea how long I’ve pined for you, berating myself for wanting you when I am so old.
Elyna: Never! My parents are 7 years apart, it never felt strange to me.
The conversation went on, heartfelt confessions causing her chest to swell. She finally pushed the door to her mother’s apartment, barely greeting Katrine before ducking into her room. Flinging her bag on the single bed, she flopped backwards like a teenager and sighed.
Elyna: I’m on cloud nine.
Unknown number: I hate to say this but we will need to navigate this carefully.
She wasn’t shocked by his warning, yet she forced herself to descend back into reality.
Elyna: Yes, there is much at stake.
His job, and probably worse. They would have to set guidelines. And first of all, she needed to hide his number so that anyone seeing her screen by mistake would not suspect anything untoward.
Elyna mulled over a nickname. Something permanent and significant. Something that brings me solace. As a teacher, Sano was inspiring. As a man, he called forth a feeling of clarity. Of vibrance.
The memory of a conversation in a temple finally gave her the answer; his insight acted like moonlight, shedding truth upon the shadows of a quiet garden.
Elyna: I will set your number to moon.
Unknown number: Tsuki 月?
Tsukiyomi, the moon god, was masculine in Japanese. The perfect counterpart to Amaterasu—the feminine sun Goddess of life and fertility.
Elyna: Hai. You have been ruling my tides for so long. In short, I’ve been mooning over you ?? It is only fair you would be the God of my night sky. You are serene like the moon, and always bring me peace. And it echoes your name.
Her message sent, Elyna changed the contact to 月, smiling despite herself at the image it conjured in her mind. He remained silent for a moment, perhaps shocked at her forwardness. Then came his response.
月: ????
She couldn’t help but burst out laughing, almost drowning out the sound of her mother calling her for dinner. Katrine was overjoyed to see her daughter so lively, especially when devouring instant ramen with a side dish of milk chocolate.
When Elyna returned to her room, Kazuki had gallantly declared his own nickname for her.
月: You shall be my sea fairy, the one whose tides reflect the moon.
Elyna’s heart leapt.
Chat became their main communication stream; there were few ways to meet outside the public eye. They spoke late at night, dreaming about the future. About going out without anyone batting an eyelash.
The few touches exchanged between doors weren’t enough to quell the hunger that plagued them both. To see him in class, so close, yet so unattainable, frayed her nerves raw. That Sano’s flatmate was a colleague created another sort of obstacle in the path of intimacy.
There simply was nowhere to meet.
Elyna’s most profound wishes turned almost childish in their simplicity; cuddling in his lap, just for the sake of contact. Hand-holding without anyone frowning.
Sometimes, she appreciated the limit; it gave them time for another type of discovery.
To share their story, their likes and dislikes, to see how well their minds connected beyond physical contact.
Elyna soon realised that in private, Sano Kazuki could be a shameless flirt.
Which always made her circle back to that blasted distance.
After two weeks of enduring, Elyna’s patience finally snapped.
Elyna: I’m so friggin happy I could burst
Aksel: Good for you sis.
Elyna: So, how about your crush? Spoke to her yet?
Aksel: She’s not interested. I switched interest.
Elyna: Oh?
Aksel sent a pic.
Elyna: way to go nugget!