Chapter 69
Flatmates
K-Mako: She’s home safely. That stay a secret until end of contract, clear?
Kazuki almost dissolved against the front door of his apartment when he saw the message.
Dear old Makoto. Despite the tongue lashing, that stubborn samurai was covering for them, keeping them away from potential legal consequences. That he would shoulder the silence was a miracle of loyalty. A soft-hearted commander, tying the gallows’ rope around them both.
Typical Hijikata energy.
Strangely, Kazuki expected no less of him. Else, he wouldn’t have allowed Elyna to leave his sight at all, especially after his stupid outburst on the rooftop. Kazuki typed in a quick emoji in response, choosing that of a man kowtowing into the ground to mark his gratitude.
“Rough day? Any wounded in your class after the quake?”
He started, finding Shintarō in the kitchen, giving him a suspicious look behind the heavy frame of his glasses. He only managed a small shake of his head, gaze falling to his shoes.
Without a word, his flatmate filled the kettle. After a quick trip to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face, Kazuki returned to the kitchen to find two cups of camomile tea. He slumped on a stool and grabbed the hot mug, relishing its warmth.
His palms were cold; he’d almost run all the way here, forgetting his jacket in class after the rooftop fiasco.
“Oi, what happened?” Shintarō blurted out.
An earthquake, the fright of my life, my stupid dragon protectiveness rearing its head and frightening the woman I love, and a samurai in a rampage.
Kazuki shook his head, too disturbed to handle another fight. For a moment, the pair of teachers sat in silence, steam rising between them.
Nothing but the truth would do. But first, he needed to leave Shintarō a way out. It was the least he owed to the man who had once picked up his broken pieces. His flatmate didn’t say a thing, slowly drinking the camomile until Kazuki took a deep breath.
“If I tell you, you’ll be in a tough spot. I value our friendship too much to drag you into this mess.”
Shintarō snorted. “Try me.”
Overwhelmed by his flatmate’s unshakeable faith, Kazuki’s voice cracked. “Shin…”
Shintarō’s gaze sharpened. “What kind of mess are we talking about here?” Kazuki studied his face in silence, wondering how people could dismiss the boisterous physics teacher as a big oaf; so many did not grasp a tenth of his intelligence.
But he had, all those years ago in university; it had earned him his flatmate’s loyalty.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Kazuki admitted, “Lying to the board? To your peers?” Each sentence dropped heavily.
Shintarō smirked. “To Keiko-san? I’m in!”
The quip should have coaxed a laugh out of him. The mock animosity between school nurse and physics teacher was infamous; they sometimes played the charade to stave off boredom. Right before challenging each other to a game of go, or a kendō round.
But today, Kazuki was too exhausted. Seeing his tight jaw, Shintarō’s eyebrows climbed into his bangs. His bulky friend leant back and folded his arms: “Is it illegal?”
“No!” Then, the truth slowly revealed itself. The power imbalance wasn’t erased by Elyna’s legal age. “It’s just … not very ethical.”
Eyes squinting in the dim lights, Shintarō tried another approach. “Did you do it on purpose?” Kazuki’s shoulders sagged, the weight of months of deception dragging him down. The lies suddenly became unbearable. “I … couldn’t help it,” he admitted, defeated. Honest.
Shintarō’s expression shifted. “Are you still the good man I know?”
The question dug a hole in his chest, so raw and sincere that he wondered if he deserved his flatmate’s trust. “I think so.” It wasn’t good enough. “I…” his voice cracked. “ … hope so.”
Shintarō reached across the table in alarm, grabbing his forearm in a vice grip. “Oi, you may be a Sano, but don’t go all seppuku on me now.”
The pun touched him deeply, a reminder of their young days dreaming about the Shinsengumi and their glory. Perhaps an honourable death would be preferable? Plunging a blade into his stomach, would it be so hard?
What of Elyna? “I can’t,” he sighed. “She would be devastated.”
The blow that jolted his shoulder was painful enough to call him back to reality. Shintarō’s eyes turned fierce. His flatmate shook him again in punishment, as if expecting plums to fall down if he roughed him sufficiently. “BAKA! You don’t get to die on my watch! Now what the heck happened?”
“I fell in love, Shin.”
Shintarō froze, taken aback by the simplicity of his predicament. “Knowing you, it means you’re in danger.”
I’m so predictable! That’s almost vexing.
Only Shintarō could fathom the extent of his recklessness when his heart came into play. His flatmate knew better than anyone that Kazuki was the kind to fall completely to the point of defencelessness.
Shintarō’s teeth were grinding. “Now mate, you’re gonna tell me everything.”
And so he did, words tumbling down, all will to fight eroded by pressure and secrets. All those feelings came out jumbled as he described the torment of Elyna’s daily presence, the impossible weight of wanting something he shouldn’t covet until he simply couldn’t resist taking it.
Shintarō didn’t say a word, letting him spill all his secrets. He only listened, drinking camomile tea, without judgement or fear. When Kazuki finally fell silent, completely unburdened, exhaustion started creeping in. As if the emotions of the past months could, at last, take their toll.
“So let me get this straight,” Shintarō eventually said. “You fell in love with that drop-dead gorgeous teaching assistant that Makoto practically threw into your lap?”
Kazuki’s eyes widened. It seems so obvious now. He simply nodded, hands curling slightly around the mug. “And despite your best efforts to stay away, you caved in when…” His eyebrows scrunched together. “… Hokkaidō!”
Then he exploded, fist banging on the table. “OH DAMN IT! It all makes sense now! You dummy, I wish you’d told me before!”
“Gomen, I didn’t want…”
“I know,” he pointed an accusatory finger at his nose. “I’m pissed. But I get it, you didn’t want to push me into an awkward position.” He leant back in his chair, considering all possibilities while his fingers tapped the counter. The drumming suddenly paused as a small smile tugged at his lips.
“Hey, at least you know what you want, which is better than most of us.”
Guilt churned in his gut. Here he was, making a fuss about his secret relationship when Shintarō was trapped by family pressure.
His flatmate wasn’t the resentful type though.
“To take such a risk, I think you’re a goner.
” The quiet smile turned into a grin then.
“But from what I saw on culture day, your mother-in-law is gonna be a bitch.”
A laugh bubbled in his chest, pushing through the wretchedness. The familiar banter was like a lifeline. “Yeah, it seems her father is a good man though.”
“Well, kid’s gotta take her qualities from somewhere. If Mr Trewith doesn’t murder you, it’ll be all rainbows and unicorns.”
Kazuki took a sip of cold tea, grimacing at the camomile’s bitter taste. So many obstacles in the path… Are we strong enough, my golden lady? Elyna had yet to fight the ultimate boss; to face one’s parent was the greatest challenge of all.
“Her mother…” He trailed off, dread creeping back in his voice. “I can’t help but worry, Shin. If her mother finds out, this will be difficult for her.”
Recognition dawned in Shintarō’s eyes, as if he’d spotted a pattern to crush underfoot. “Hey, don’t go saving her.”
Kazuki fell silent, interrogating his heart thoroughly until the truth exploded in his face. “She doesn’t need saving.”
And that reality lifted a weight from his shoulders. Despite the age difference, Elyna only ever required support, but never a saviour.
“Damn right,” Shintarō snorted in his tea, pushing his mug away in disgust to fish out a bottle of sake.
He didn’t even bother using a cup, drinking straight from it.
“That woman has faced Katayū in demon mode more than once,” he drawled, the bottle swaying like a boat caught in a storm, “and never backed down. Hell, he even treats her like a colleague sometimes.”
Kazuki pushed the offering away from his face with a shake of his head. Yes, Elyna had guts and courage, but her terror tonight tugged at his heart in all the wrong ways. She was terrified. I should call her.
Shintarō clapped the bottle on the table. “Well, I can picture you together.”
The casual observation was so unexpected that Kazuki nearly choked on his camomile.
“What are you saying, Shin?” A shrug was his only response until a pointed look brought forth an explanation.
“She’s no pushover. And she looks much happier than before Christmas, so I bet you’re as good for her as she’s good for you. ”
Kazuki dug his fingers through his scalp, feeling completely at a loss. Was Shintarō giving his blessing? “I’m still her supervisor,” he murmured, so conflicted that he couldn’t find north from south in the raging war of his conscience.
“Of course, you should have waited.” Shintarō’s sincerity was always refreshing. “But you don’t need me to tell you that, I bet Katayū-kun did it plenty.”
“You bet right,” Kazuki huffed, still reeling from the earlier scolding. Yelling, actually. Never, ever, had he been the recipient of such unleashed wrath. He and the Vice Principal usually made a good team, his diplomacy smoothing out Makoto’s uncompromising rigidity.
“Be careful, mate. It’s good that Katayū is covering for you, but if anyone else learns about it … you’re done. And he’ll plunge right beside you. And with him, the whole kōkō because no one can keep it together like he does.”
Ten points to Shintarō for stating the obvious with such brutal honesty. The knot in his stomach refused to loosen, and he strongly considered that bottle of sake that eyed him on the kitchen counter.
“I know,” Kazuki sighed, dropping his head in his hands. “No pressure, eh?”
“None,” Shintarō deadpanned. “Graduation is soon, so keep it down. Just let her know you’re not giving up and you love her, and that’s it.”
Kazuki’s entire body went completely rigid, the mug of bitter brew frozen halfway to his lips.
“Kazu?” Shintarō’s eyes suddenly turned wary. “You do love her, right? It’s not just a fling?”
Indignation flared in his guts. “A fling?” he thundered. “How can you call her a fling?”
Hands raised in defence, Shintarō declared forfeit. The fight drained out of Kazuki as quickly as it had flared. His best friend didn’t deserve being lashed at because he had poked an uncomfortable wound.
“Sorry, sorry mate.” Shintarō didn’t seem too fazed by his outburst. “Elyna is … long-term for me.” His hands mussed up his hair again, pulling at a loose strand. Those blasted three words had never made it properly. “I just … never managed to tell her…”
The silence that settled was expectant, and Kazuki knew he wouldn’t be given the courtesy of evasion.
“To tell her what?”, Shintarō almost growled.
A great, weary sigh shuddered in Kazuki's chest as he braced for another round of scolding. A very deserved one. “That I love her.”
Shintarō threw his hands in the air. “What the HELL? That’s not a case of actions speaking louder than words! She’s young, and she’s Western! They say it all the time. I love you is like good morning to them.”
Kazuki’s jaw tightened, his gaze dropping to the table.
“Kazu?”
“The last time…” his throat closed, cutting off his air supply long enough to feel every ounce of shame he’d purposefully ignored until now. “The last time I told a woman I loved her…”
“Don’t.” Shintarō’s voice was gentle but firm.
Kazuki pressed his lips together; the words just wouldn’t push past the wall that barred his chest, the same strangling sensation that seized him every time he tried to tell Elyna how he felt.
It should have been easy, he’d screwed so many occasions.
At Christmas in the pool, after Valentine’s day amazing lovemaking…
Today, on that rooftop, rather than shouting his fear in her face.
A horrible doubt clawed at his ribs. Did I show her enough?
Had she picked up on the depth of his regard from actions alone? Elyna was an intelligent woman, even more so than himself, brilliant enough to catch the slightest detail in an essay, the most subtle nuance in a poem. But in matters of the heart…
The knot in his chest suddenly loosened, allowing the dam of emotions to break. “Miyu walked away, Shin.” The final admission felt like ripping off a band-aid, painful but freeing.
Shintarō’s fist banged the table with such force that he jumped. “That tart!” he spat. “I don’t want to hear her name!”
That flare of fierce protectiveness almost brought Kazuki to tears. To have someone care enough to hold on to that rage on his behalf was humbling. Someday, he would have to kneel at Shintarō’s feet and bow his gratitude. But not today; today, there was a more pressing matter to attend to.
“I know it’s stupid,” he raged, angered by his own wounds. “I just never managed to say it out loud! And now… What else can she do but leave after what Makoto threw at her? It’s too dangerous.”
“Listen, I love you mate, and I’m not afraid to say it. But you’re wrong.”
Kazuki’s eyes widened in shock. This casual I love you, thrown in English like it was nothing, shattered him. But Shintarō wasn’t done. “So get your shit together, and stop being such a coward about it.”
His flatmate stood, gulped a long draught of sake, only to drain the last remnants of bitter chamomile tea afterwards.
“So, graduation is on white day this year,” he drawled.
“I’ll be off that night on the next Saturday.
All day. It’s been a while since I've seen the ocean. Don’t let anyone spot you, ne? ”
He was gone before Kazuki could blink, his door purposefully clanging shut.
Aksel: so, on a scale of 1 to 1million, how was the quake today?
Elyna: could have been fun, we had waves in the pool
Aksel: Holy SHIT!
Elyna: ditto! Kazuki didn’t enjoy it though