Chapter 46 #2
He blinked a couple times, probably stunned and thinking I wanted to abandon our marriage-first plan.
I didn’t want to abandon it, I just didn’t want to propose to him.
And mentioning marriage would feel dangerously close.
Also, cramming a wedding into our Christmas visit while Bea was ready to pop would be borderline insane.
So insane that I was too chicken to even mention it.
He started to nod, the wheels in his head visibly turning.
But his silence stretched too long and worry curled around my heart.
Maybe he was trying to think of a way to gently shut down the idea or discourage my enthusiasm.
Maybe he thought this was too fast.
“Are you saying you’re ready to get married?” I couldn’t read his tone.
“Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m saying.”
The blank look on his face strangled the air out of me. I needed more from him. Some kind of confirmation that he was ready, too. Or a smile? A twitch? Something!
My insecurities broke the dam around my lips.
“Listen, I know I sound crazy because you haven’t even officially asked me to marry you, but we’ve talked about it so many times.
And I keep thinking I should heal more or do more therapy to be ready for you, but honestly, I just want to come as I am.
We love each other and I want to be with you more than I want my next breath.
And the girls miss you and Cade like crazy.
They are constantly asking me when we are going back to the ranch.
And if we just make everything official, they will be so happy.
And I’ll be happy. And maybe getting married is pushing things too far too quickly, but I don’t want to say goodnight anymore.
I want to fall asleep with you and make your cup of coffee in the morning and—”
“Hollie.”
I stopped.
“Can I call you right back? I need to do something real quick.”
Blood drained from my face like someone had pulled the plug in a bathtub. Instantly, I felt lightheaded with dread. My tongue stuck in my mouth. “Um, yeah, okay.”
“I promise I’ll call you right back.” Then he hung up.
The garage went dead quiet and suddenly felt so cold.
A shiver passed over my body as I quaked with anxiety.
What did he have to do? Jesse had never just ended a phone call like that.
He let me go in the middle of me bearing my soul, confessing that I wanted to fall asleep with him every night.
Right at the apex of my vulnerability. Why would he do that?
I must’ve really freaked him out.
For five long minutes, I waited, trying to talk myself off the edge of an emotional cliff.
I didn’t want to completely spiral. Maybe he needed to use the bathroom or something.
Maybe he heard a funny noise and he was checking it out.
But my heart beat inside my throat and my stomach twisted and turned like I could be getting a stomach bug.
Finally, my phone buzzed on the wooden steps, the sound cutting through the oppressive quiet. It was just a regular call, not Facetime. With shaking hands, I answered. My voice scraped. “Hey.”
“Hi, sorry to keep you waiting. Can you do me a favor?”
“What is it?”
“I need you to pick me up from the Denver airport tomorrow at around 7:15 a.m.”
“What?!” The word echoed off the walls. “Are you serious?”
He chuckled. “Yep.”
My head struggled to switch gears after the extreme whiplash. “You’re coming here? Why?”
“Because I need to ask you a question.”
A question? Surely he didn’t mean…I slapped a hand over my lips, every single organ in my body jumping and bucking with feelings. All that came out of my mouth was his name. “Jesse!”
“Yes?”
In a chokehold, I wheezed. “What question? Can’t you ask me now?”
The smile in his voice infused his words with so much tenderness. “This isn’t a question I can ask over the phone. Can you be there?”
“Yes,” I choked out. “I’ll be there.”
“I’m going to let you go then. I have a few things to arrange before I go to bed.”
That was it? We weren’t even going to talk more?
“Okay.” My voice was a whisper.
He chuckled. “Don’t worry. We are fine. Everything is great, I promise.”
“Okay.”
“Just think. In less than twelve hours, I’ll be kissing you.”
The thrill that ran through my body stole my breath away. But my voice gained confidence. “Okay.”
“You good?”
“Yes, I’m good.”
“I’ll see you in the morning then.”
As soon as he hung up, I ran to find Mom and Estelle.
My whole body trembled with tension and nerves as I pulled around the pick-up lane for the third time.
Jesse’s flight was a little late getting in, so I was stuck circling the drive while I waited.
For the millionth time, I checked my hair and face in the rearview mirror and smeared some chapstick on my lips.
I’d woken up early and taken the time to manage my curls.
They were long, springy coils sticking out from the bottom of my purple beanie.
I had jeans, a coat, scarf, and furry boots because it was thirty-three degrees this morning with a brisk wind.
Even though I hadn’t slept a wink, my body hummed with energy. I was ninety-nine percent sure he would propose this morning, but I kept trying to discourage my excitement…just in case I was wrong. But, if he wasn’t going to ask me to marry him, what on earth would he need to ask?
Mom and Estelle didn’t help my excitement.
They immediately squealed with happiness and proclaimed I would get engaged.
Mom started crying which made Estelle and I cry, too.
Estelle also blasted the news in the group chat, which blew up for an entire hour last night as I was trying to fall asleep.
Everyone wholeheartedly approved of him, which felt the way I imagined it would—euphoric, relieving, and so very special.
Jesse called my phone as I reentered the white, covered drive and scanned the mob of exiting travelers. I tapped speaker. “Hey!”
“I just came out. I’m down here by the—”
“I see you!” I gave a soft squee. “Oh my gosh! I see you!”
He had his boots and jeans on, but a soft brown beanie squished down his hair, and he had on a black jacket—he was probably freezing to death. And thank goodness he hadn’t shaved.
When his gaze landed on the Volvo, he pocketed his phone and I whipped into an available parking spot parallel to the curb. Throwing open my door, I ran toward him. “Jesse!”
He jogged down the sidewalk, and the huge smile on his cheeks brought rest to my soul. All the tension I carried slipped away, left in the wake of our love. Even from a distance—his face said everything I needed to hear.
He loves me.
When his arms opened, I jumped into them, wrapping my legs around his waist and clinging to his neck.
His hands gripped my thighs, holding me steady against him as he smothered his laughter in my scarf and tucked his head against me.
He gave a soft groan. “Man, I missed you so much. Five months is too damn long, Hollie. ”
I pushed back to look at his face. My fingers scraped through his facial hair, letting it brush the inside of my palm. Before I could speak, his lips found mine. They were cold and eager. But he broke it off quickly though, lowering my feet to the ground.
He whispered. “I don’t have a lot of time.”
My breath felt trapped in my chest.
He grabbed my hands. “Hollie.” My name on his lips touched my heart like a caress. “On April 7th, I stood in the pick-up lane of the San Antonio airport and watched you save my son’s life.” He huffed, the sound heavy and emotional even through his smile.
My nose and eyes stung with heat. I bit down on my bottom lip.
“For a few terrible seconds, I thought I was about to lose the only person I had left. But somehow, I walked away from the airport with an entire family to love.” He gave a soft laugh. “And I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. So I have a crazy question to ask.”
Jesse reached into his pocket as he slowly dropped to one knee. Sounds came out of my throat—laughter, crying, screaming? I didn’t even know. My feet danced—tapping against the sidewalk in a flurry of excitement.
“Will you marry me this Christmas and”—his hands fumbled with the box because he was shaking—“stay forever, in my cabin, as my wife?”
My throat squeaked as joy bubbled up from my heart. I answered on a sob. “Yes!”
He stood, his rough palms capturing my cheeks as we kissed. His breath bathed my lips with a tender whisper. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. I’m so happy.” He lifted my hand and slipped a ring onto my finger. It was rose gold with a small square diamond in the middle.
He kissed my ear. “Do you like it?”
“I love it. When did you get this? You must’ve already had it!”
“I bought it in October.”
“October?!”
“I was planning on asking you at Christmas, but this was way more fun.”
“We’re getting married!” I squealed.
“Let’s get out of here. I’m freezing my butt off.” I laughed, realizing my Texas cowboy wasn’t used to the cold. Grabbing his hand, we jogged toward the Volvo and jumped in.
I couldn’t stop smiling. “You don’t have a bag, so I guess you’re not staying.”
“I can’t. Tag is stressed about Bea going into labor, so I have a flight back later today.”
I pulled out of the pick-up lane. “How much time do we have?”
“Five hours. Just enough time to make out and plan our wedding.”
I cackled at the way make-out made him sound like a teenager, but I was so game. “No discussions allowed until after we make out.”
“Deal.” He laughed too, reaching over to grip my thigh. I saw stars and almost ran off the road.
We cracked jokes, giddy with excitement, until I finally found a mega-church parking lot that was conveniently abandoned on a random Thursday morning. I pulled to the farthest corner and moved the gear stick into park. “Time to start checking things off our list.”
Jesse’s laughter melted me. “You are so eager.”
“Of course I’m eager. I haven’t seen you in five months.”
His eyes ran over all my features, his smile slowly fading.
“Get over here then.” He reached down, scooting his seat back as far as it would go.
I shrugged out of my coat and chucked it into the backseat.
As I crawled across the console, his hands came to my waist and pulled me until I straddled his lap.
Gazing into my eyes, he whispered, “We’re going to have a beautiful life together.
” He reached up, pulling my beanie off my head.
Then he slowly unwound my scarf from around my neck.
My fingers found the zipper of his jacket, opening it.
And I pulled off his hat too. His hands slipped beneath my sweater, urging me to shed one more layer.
I shrugged the bulky sweater over my head, finally in just a t-shirt.
Satisfied, Jesse pulled me into his chest and his lips brushed over mine.
I couldn’t stop the contented sigh that escaped as I tasted him.
My hands raced over his chest, quickly weaving into his hair as he angled his head and deepened our kiss.
Our hungry sounds escalated as we dove into each other, indulging in a whirlwind of passion and love.
In a few short days, this man would be all mine, and it couldn’t come fast enough. It could not come fast enough.
Breaking our kiss, I reached down to push the seat button, reclining him all the way back.
He murmured, “Get back up here.”
When I stretched out against him, we got lost.