CHAPTER 21
Matthew
Something was wrong.
Stryker was acting wrong.
He’d gone home that weekend to see his dad and since he’d come back he’d been withdrawn, quiet, kept backing away from conversations.
Theo couldn’t put his finger on it and had kept asking me if I’d picked up on it too.
I had, of course, but I told him to stop being nosy.
Then he asked the three of us to go out with him and get high.
We headed down to the lake, smoking weed and drinking Theo’s concoctions, and then I spotted a female figure making her way towards us.
My eyebrows drew together and I stood, nudging Stryker because- as the only one who wasn’t high and could see properly-it was apparent that her glare was directed towards him.
I watched his eyes widen, then he grabbed Theo’s arm and dragged him towards the girl. I hesitated, then followed along, catching his slurred “save me. You’re gonna have to protect me.”
Theo laughed; I laughed with him, but was cut short pretty much as soon as we got to her- beautiful, with tan skin and dark foxy eyes with matching dark hair, plump lips.
But her hand raised and she slapped Stryker right across the face, features twisting into a snarl- it was evident that she’d been crying.
“Your stupid dick got me pregnant! Fucking hell, Stryker, you piece of shit!”
I watched the scene unfold, mouth agape. Theo shook my arm “you heard that, right? Did I hear that right?”
I limited myself to nodding.
“You’re pregnant?” Stryker repeated, suddenly brought back down to earth from his high.
The girl, with tears streaming down her face, nodded once.
“You’re pregnant?” Stryker repeated again.
“Yes.”
“With a baby.” He said dumbly.
Theo shot him a duh look that he didn’t even take notice of, his eyes glued to the trembling girl in front of him.
She gave another clipped nod.
“In there?” He pointed at her stomach, his other hand reaching out for something to steady himself with but coming up empty.
“No shit, asshole!” She exclaimed, hugging herself.
“But…” he blinked hard “how did that get there?”
If the situation weren’t so bad then I totally would have laughed, because what kind of retarded question was that?
“How the fuck do you think!” She shouted, throwing her arms up “it’s what happens when you stick your dick in my vagina!”
Stryker put a hand to his forehead, incredibly pale “oh my god.” He whispered “h-how…are you sure?”
“Yes. Me and mum are pretty fucking sure or I wouldn’t be wasting your 'yay, I’m a druggie' night telling you.” She snapped, furious.
“You told your mum about this before me?” Stryker asked, eyes wide.
“Yeah, you dimwit, she’s my mum!”
She had a very fair point, in my modest opinion.
“And my brother knows too and he wants to cut your bloody dick off!”
Ouch.
“It will be bloody if he cuts it off!” Stryker pressed a hand to his chest “Jesus Christ.” He sucked in a few deep breaths “and you’re sure it’s not a mistake?”
“Yes, I’m sure!” She cried out, waving her arms around.
“A-and it’s definitely mine?”
I cringed as her hand came up and slapped Stryker hard across the face for the second time in three minutes “you little shit!” She snarled “fuck yes it’s yours!”
“Don’t go getting pissed at me!” Stryker shouted.
“Don’t go shouting at me!” She screamed right back.
“I’m not shouting, I’m having a panic attack!”
And god did I believe him. I had half a mind to step in.
“Well calm the fuck down, then, because we have a bad fucking situation to deal with!”
Stryker wheezed out a breath “fuck.” His eyes were wide as he looked at the girl “fuck, I’m going to be a dad.” Pressing a hand to his chest, he heaved in a deep breath and tried to get his gasping under control “fuck, Raven.”
“And I’m going to be a mum and I certainly don’t feel any better about it!”
Stryker kept a hand pressed to his chest as he asked “how long?”
“St-“
“How long?”
“A-about four months, I think. Maybe? That’s…the maths, anyway.”
And that was where me and Theo both stepped in, because Stryker physically looked like he was about to faint.
“Okay, S.” I muttered as I placed a hand between his shoulder blades and grabbed his arm to keep him steady “you’re okay. Deep breaths.”
“I can’t- I- not now.”
“What’s going on?” Jack jogged over.
Raven glared at us all. Then she turned back to Stryker “if…you want…” her lip trembled. Stryker swallowed hard.
I felt sorry for both of them.
“If you want part in this then come by tomorrow.” She said in a rush “if not, don’t bother.”
“Okay.” Stryker whispered.
“A kid then, huh?” Jack asked with a smirk as he leant against the kitchen table “couldn’t keep your di-“
“Jack” Stryker said flatly, running a hand through his hair “please refrain yourself from making inappropriate comments.”
“You happy about this?” I asked tentatively. I didn’t think so, if his reaction was anything to go by.
Stryker sighed, staring at the drink in front of him “of course I’m not happy about this, Matt.” He said honestly “I mean fuck, I’m- I’m sixteen with…nobody. I mean, financially we’ll manage just fine but I…I don’t know if…if I can support her through this, I’m a fucking emotional wreck.”
“Your dad-“
“Dead,” Stryker wheezed out, cutting me off.
The three of us exchanged glances “what?”
“L-last week.” He whispered “he…I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” Jack nodded slowly “I…I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.”
How did nobody know? Shit. I knew what loosing a parent felt like. My heart ached for him.
“We’ll help? Anything you need.”
“Thanks Matt, but…I don’t know.”
“You gonna stick around?” Jack asked skeptically.
I rolled my eyes “unlike you, Jack, Stryker actually has a sense of responsibility.”
“Yeah, I’m sticking around” he muttered “it’s gonna be hell, though.”
“I bet. I heard being knocked up at eighteen makes you pissy.” Theo remarked.
Stryker huffed “she’s pissy anyway. Pregnancy is just gonna make it…so much worse.”
Jack took a gulp of beer “I wouldn’t be sticking around, mate. And you have a good excuse.”
“Jack” my eyes narrowed. Trust him to be a dick in the worse possible moments.
“I’m not letting that kid grow up without a father, and I’m not leaving her alone to deal with this, even if she’s scary and her brothers are scary and her dad want to cut my dick off and the only person who remotely likes me in that house is her mum, and guess fucking what?
Her sister just had a fucking miscarriage, and now she’s really upset and so is her boyfriend and they’re all sad and moping and I feel fucking guilty because I don’t even want this kid and I kind of wish.
..fuck I can’t wish that” he groaned, putting his head in his hands.
“Stryker…” I looked at him, but I felt out of my depth and quite at loss about what to say.
“Does she want it?” Jack asked.
Stryker shrugged “who cares? There’s nothing we can do about it.”
“Just take a drink” Theo prompted, nodding at his still full glass.
Stryker shook his head dejectedly “I can’t drink, Theo”
“Didn't realise you were the pregnant one, Hotshot.”
“Funny. But seriously, I can’t. I have to go to Raven’s later and if I smell like alcohol I…I can’t have her throwing up as soon as I walk through the door.”
“Dude. She’ll understand. You’re going through some serious shit.”
“Theo” Stryker said firmly “I’m already shit at this. I don’t wanna screw up, okay? She’s going through it too. Being pregnant is not fun.”
“Not even one?”
“I don’t want to make her sick.” He repeated firmly.
It made me smile despite the distinctly bad situation.
“Plus, as we’ve already established, she has a temper on her and she’s pissed at me.”
“Does she know? About your dad?”
“Not yet.” Stryker said tersely “I…I’ve been seeing her for a while, though. It’s not…” he trailed off.
“I can see that. If it had been just one night and this happened then fuck you’re unlucky.” Theo piped up.
“Well it wasn’t.” Stryker deadpanned “anyway, I’m…
I don’t think I’m quitting the army because of this.
I think she’ll want me to but I won’t. We’re sticking around the area anyway, and Johnathan knows about dad and understands that if I need to leave then I can and he feels bad anyway. I need the distraction, though.”
“I get that.” I mumbled. It was practically the same reason I was here.
“You’d seriously consider leaving us for that little shit?” Jack said, screwing up his nose. Stryker frowned and I whacked him upside the head.
“Not a little shit. ‘S my kid.”
“Fuck, he’s become a dad already.” Theo remarked
“Damn right I have, it’s in Raven’s fucking stomach.”
“Yeah, but like…you sure you're sticking around? Because, like, she has family support and everything. You don’t have shit, Stryker. Try bringing up a kid without anyone to lean on. I’d get out while-“ Jack shut his mouth when he noticed the tears “what…what did I say?”
“Fuck, Stryker, come here.” I said softly, pulling him into what I hoped was a comforting embrace.
Stryker let out a sob and I shot Jack a harsh look “you can’t say shit like that” he muttered, voice low enough that only Jack could hear him- Stryker certainly couldn’t over his own sobs, anyway- “he doesn’t need the fucking constant reminder that his dad’s dead and he’s all alone.
And he’s not abandoning the kid, Jack, he’s not like that and you know it. ”
“I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry.” Jack said, lowering his gaze.
“Don’t need to tell me that.”
I sighed, rubbing his back and murmuring into his ear.
Stryker choked on a sob and stepped back, hands in his hair and pulling at the roots “I can’t do this.”
“Stryker-“
"S'just... too fucking real, Matt." He said, swallowing thickly.
"We're having a kid, like an actual fucking human being and I.
..I don't wanna fuck things up with it." He dug the bottom of his palms into his eyes in an attempt to get rid of his tears. "Fuck. It-It’s going to need us, it’s going to depend on us, on me and Raven and just- look at us!
We're not ready to have a kid! I'm not ready to be a dad.
I don't know how to be a dad. I don't know. "
“Stryker-“
“But I can’t leave it because it doesn’t deserve that, I grew up without a mum and it shouldn’t have to- fuck.”
“You’ll do great.” I murmured, and I meant it, “it’s gonna work out.”