CHAPTER 32
Theo
I was pretty sure that I was getting better.
My chest ached less and my coughing had decreased considerably.
In the meantime, Stryker had been brought back to the base.
Nobody had told me what had happened to him in his time in the prison, though I doubt they’d told anyone. All I knew was that he was a wreck.
I came downstairs for the tea that Matthew had taken upon himself to make for me every morning, only to find Jack cradling a trembling, sobbing Stryker to his chest, holding him like he was the most precious thing he owned and whispering softly in his ear- not that I thought he could hear anything at all over his own sobs.
“Jack?” I asked quietly.
Jack raised his gaze and gave a small nod to prompt me to continue “is he…is he going to be okay?” I hadn’t seen him much since we’d rescued him, much less spoken to him.
I’d been worried, because I remembered the state of him when Dean had had him in his arms clear as day, but nobody had seemed willing to speak a word about him.
“Of course he is.” He replied, voice surprisingly soft “he just needs a minute.”
Oh, he needed more than just a minute, that was for sure.
I continued to hover in the doorway, reluctant to leave despite knowing that Stryker would despise me seeing him this way.
“Do you…know what happened? Did he tell you?”
Jack shushed Stryker gently before responding “I know. He…didn’t get much out, but Octavia gave me the medical rundown so…I know.”
“Can I know?” I asked hesitantly, hopefully, and my heart sank despite having expected the head shake that followed my request. Jack rested his chin on the top of Stryker’s head and looked at me sadly “not my place, Theo. Sorry, pal. Listen, would you head upstairs for a few? I need to try and calm him down here.”
I bit my lip. I didn’t want to. “I…”
“Theo.” Matt called from the kitchen “come on. Jack’s right.”
With one last glance back at Jack and Stryker, I sighed and joined Matthew by the door.
The kitchen was empty besides us and Nico, who was mostly keeping to himself.
“Do you know what happened?” I asked miserably as Matt handed me my tea. I hated not knowing, and Matthew always knew something..
He stuffed his hands in his pocket and shrugged awkwardly “I don’t know…I think…he was raped. Along with tortured, he was definitely…raped.”
I gaped at him, mortification filling me. “You…really think…?”
He gave a single, stiff nod and all I could do was give him a wide eyed look and whisper “no.”
“By a lot of different people.” He added quietly “he just…I could tell. By how he was acting. You don’t cry like that just because of torture, Theo. You cry like that when you think you have something to be terribly ashamed of.”
“Ashamed?” I exclaimed, angered, furious “of what? Of nothing. Those bastards-“
“We need to leave this to Jack for now, okay? If he can’t work his magic then…we’re fucked.”
It turned out that Jack couldn’t work his magic, as we found out an hour later whilst we were chatting with Dean and Alex.
“Get John.” Jack had said, eyes wide “I can’t…he’s had three panic attacks in the last hour. He can’t hear me, lads. He’s stuck in his head. He’s not well, he can’t stay here like this.”
I swallowed hard, looking at Matthew to gauge his reaction. He didn’t look too surprised.
“I’ll get him.” He agreed, shuffling closer to the pair and crouching in front of them. He gently placed a hand on Stryker’s arm, wincing as he flinched away and cowered further into Jack’s embrace.
“S, I…we hear you, okay? We know what happened and…it’s alright.” Matthew’s voice cracked “you don’t have anything to be ashamed of, S. Nothing at all. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
“Leave it.” Jack murmured, running a hand through Stryker’s hair “he won’t…hear you.”
Matthew swallowed hard and nodded “I’ll fetch John now.”
I watched him leave, then looked back at Stryker and Jack “how come he trusts you so much?” I sighed, folding my arms “I…why won’t he-?”
“It’s not his fault.” Jack defended quietly “I…I suppose I’ve always been the one who watches out for him, is all.” He paused “he’s suffered a lot.”
“I know.” I whispered “I share a room with him. He always has nightmares. He has a knife under his pillow.”
Jack hummed. He shook his head, meeting my gaze steadily “he’s not here right now, y’know? Right away with the fairies.” He swallowed hard “he needs therapy or something.”
I gave a short, unamused laugh “yeah.” I agreed flatly “probably.”
All hell broke loose when Johnathan arrived and tried to take Stryker to the healers. He started screaming like I had never heard him scream, crying for Jack and begging him to not let them hurt him again, clinging on to any inch of the poor, horrified lad he could reach, hyperventilating.
Johnathan had had to sedate him.
The solution they came to was that he was going to be sent home for a while, which would have been a brilliant idea, except from Stryker didn’t have a home anymore, much less anyone to look after him.
“Where will you go?” I asked him gently as he packed his things. I didn’t know how he was managing to walk around- his feet were torn up, he was wincing with every step, yet he didn’t complain. He glanced up at me, weary, exhausted “Raven’s. She’s due soon, you know.”
“Wow.” I breathed. He smiled but it seemed strained. I couldn’t blame him.
“You can come by.” He whispered “when it’s born. I’ll write to you.”
“I’d love to.” I replied earnestly. He smiled again, clapping a hand on my shoulder “heard you’ve got yourself a chest infection.”
“Yeah. But you always have to one-up me.” I joked.
He scoffed “trust me, I’d take the chest infection any day of the week. Hey, how are things? With Matt?”
The question sounded ridiculous coming from someone who had suffered as much as he had lately. I didn’t think I’d be capable of thinking about anyone else’s problems in his position.
“Fine.” I murmured “we haven’t argued in a while. We’re good.”
He nodded slowly “you discussed anything?”
“Anything…?” My brows furrowed, comprehension failing me.
“Are you together?”
I opened and closed my mouth. I hadn’t really thought about it.
I didn’t know. We certainly hadn’t even come close to having such a conversation, with everything that had been happening lately and with me still coming to terms with the fact that I was hopelessly obsessed and infatuated and in love with a boy.
Reading my silence, Stryker laughed hollowly “still got some things to figure out, then.”
“Yeah.” I sighed softly “ I guess we do.”
“Would you like to be? Together?”
I swallowed hard at the question, my throat feeling dry and my brain whirring into action as I thought about it.
I did. There was nothing I’d love more than to be with him.
He was the most perfect human being I’d ever come across and the only person who made my insides turn so horribly mushy and did such good blowjobs.
He was better at blowjobs than me. A hundred percent better.
He was also the only person who’d ever cared for me and looked after me and put up with my indecision and temper tantrums. I’d never had anyone doing that growing up.
My parents weren’t exactly good at being parents.
But it was dangerous. It was illegal. We were lucky that Stryker had been the only one to clock on to it.
Again, I’d been silent for too long.
Stryker huffed out an amused laugh “I think you would.”
“I would.” I hastily agreed “of course I would. But it’s…complicated.”
“I know.” He replied simply, wincing as he straightened up “next time I see you I want some good news though, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I murmured “sure.”
“I mean it.” He laughed “I want good news, and I want us to go outside on the porch of Raven’s house and smoke a few joints whilst my newborn baby is fast asleep along with its mother. Okay?”
“Okay,” I laughed back, feeling a bit like a weight that I hadn’t known had been there had been taken off my shoulders at his words. I realised that I’d missed talking to Stryker.
“Good. Kiss Matt goodbye for me, yeah? Don’t think I’ll catch him.”
“I will.” I smirked “very gladly.”
“Don’t I know it.”
When Matthew opened the door to my room that night, I was only half asleep. I rolled over and pressed a slobbery kiss to his cheek when he climbed into bed, whispering “that was from S.”
He chuckled lightly, nuzzling my neck “didn’t realise you were awake.”
“Can’t sleep.” I admitted softly. It was true. The conversation with Stryker had been whirring around my brain since I’d lay down.
“No?” He asked, leg snaking it’s way between mine and arm slinging around my waist.
I shook my head, swallowing nervously, throat feeling dry.
“Your chest infection still bad?” His voice was tinged with concern. I shook my head “not that. I was just…thinking.”
There was a short silence in which Matt was clearly waiting for me to elaborate. When I didn’t, he prompted “about?”
I sighed loudly, fiddling with the hem of his shirt “you love me.”
“Yep.” He agreed easily.
“And I love you.”
He ran a hand through my hair, making a pleased shudder pass through my body “hm.”
“And we don’t like it if the other sleeps with other people.”
“No.” Matthew responded immediately, tone darkening somehow, a frown finding its way onto his face. I kissed his chest reassuringly. “So…” I licked my chapped lips, shifting uneasily “what does that make us?”
Silence followed. I raised my gaze to meet Matthew’s- his hazel eyes held so much fondness it filled me with warmth. I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt.
“You mean are we a couple?” He clarified softly, tenderly.
I nodded once. That was exactly what I meant.
“We could be. If you want, of course. I know I do.”
“And you’d be my boyfriend?” I said, seeking confirmation “and I’d be yours?”
Matthew laughed, the sound just as affectionate as the look in his eyes “that’s generally how it works, yes.”
“I want that.” I whispered, allowing my eyelids to win their battle and close, focusing on the steady thump of Matt’s heart under my ear and the rise and fall of his chest.
“Then we’re a couple.” I felt him shrug “simple as that.”
“Simple as that.” I agreed in a slurred mumble, smiling at the kiss he pressed to my forehead before sleep dragged me under.