43. Joy
JOY
“Did you know this would happen?”
- JOY
Fists pounded on the door, all of us frozen from the iciness in Raya’s words. We will burn them to the ground.
How could we burn the humans without burning ourselves in the process?
I heaved a sigh, clasping hands with Erin and Jodie, fear sitting plainly on their faces. Suddenly I felt like an imposter. Did they expect me fight against the humans? It was as though I had just remembered that I was a human. I was the enemy of these people. Everyone in the room was a Sorcerer. Everyone but me.
I was nothing but the supposed forgotten half of the Prophesy.
Celestial Queen. I scoffed at the ridiculous insinuation.
Fists pound against the door again, waking me up from my transfixion. Elian called a sweaty messenger inside.
“Someone is here,” the messenger staggered into the room, swallowing a breath.
“What do you mean?” Elian asked, his patience wearing thin already.
“She must have followed you here,” he stuttered over his words, heaving breaths in between them. “I don’t know how it happened, but patrol found her next to the well, she was…” The messenger stopped for a moment, looking around at us. We all held a collective breath. Knowing prickled against my skin.
“Go on, Cretu!” Elian said sternly, unable to stand the silence any longer.
“She was trying to force her way in, shouting until her throat was hoarse.”
The messenger doubled over to catch his breath; the air sizzled with anticipation.
“What was she shouting?” Erin whispered. The energy in the room died, no one dared to even take a breath.
I wiped the sweat from my palms onto my trousers.
“Just a name, over and over.”
My stomach plummeted.
“What name?” I asked through gritted teeth.
Although I already knew.
The messenger looked up from the floor, meeting my gaze before looking over at Elian, asking for permission. A nod greeted him.
“Joy,” he breathed and, as one, every single head spun in my direction. I saw Rafael reach for Jameson out the corner of my eye, their hands clasped tightly.
“Are you sure?” I whispered, my hands squeezing Erin’s and Jodie’s. Elian’s knuckles clenched white as he scrubbed his hands over his face. Guilt sat heavy in my stomach.
I had done this, I had brought danger to his door, to his family.
“Quite sure,” the messenger spoke firmly, finally catching his breath. I nodded, swallowing hard as I unknotted my hands from the sisters’, heading toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Jameson asked, fear of being separated again coating his voice.
“She’s asked for me, has she not?” I forced a lifeless grin; I looked over to Khol and Raf.
“You should probably come with me.” I winced at my words as though they had bitten me. The brothers exchanged looks before meeting my eyes.
“You go first,” Raf spoke softly.
“We’ll be right behind you,” Khol’s voice was no more than a rumble.
“Who is she?” Raya asked, I felt her energy shift softly as I left the room. Just as the door shut behind me, I heard Khol’s voice again.
“I believe our sister has come to visit.”
A Sorcerer stood over her in the small infirmary, assumably healing her hands, tending to any cuts or bruises. I couldn’t see her face, but I knew it was her. I could feel it, deep in my soul, and I hated myself for it. For knowing her so well, for spending countless, sleepless nights worrying for her safety, even after she had betrayed us and left us behind. Left me behind. My steps slowed as I attempted to delay the inevitable.
She had awoken something within me, something I thought dormant or even dead, since my Lolita passed. The iciness of guilt speared me again. When was the last time I had sent up a prayer for her? I shook off those feelings as I approached Florence, the healer stepping to the side.
A huge breath washed through me at the sight of her, it took me a moment to realize it was relief. Relief that she was safe, relief that she was here with me. The wave of the relief was edged with something else though, something hot and burning. Anger. Disappointment.
“Joy.” Her eyes lit up before dimming quickly, her voice strained and soft. I tore my gaze from her, turning so that she faced my back, unable to stop the burning behind my eyes.
“Joy.” This time her voice was closer, I could almost feel her warmth behind me before her hand brushed my waist. She swallowed loudly, tears threatening to spill from her eyes as I turned back to face her.
“I’m sorry,” she stuttered, her voice barely a whisper. “I had no choice.” Her voice clogged up softly. A purple bruise bloomed over her right eye, and without thinking I reached up my hand and brushed the skin softly. I pulled my hand away quickly, as if her skin had burned me.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” My voice scratched against my throat. The healer scurried away, leaving us alone in the little infirmary.
“My mother wouldn’t have understood,” she struggled for the words. “I thought it wouldn’t affect me. I thought I would be able to leave and never think of you again,” her voice became quiet. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and losing you was killing me.” Her eyes focused on my face.
“After losing my brother, I swore I’d never let myself be hurt like that again.” Her words crashed into me, she still thought Rafael dead? Her mother had kept him from both Khol and Florence?
“Florence, I need to tell you something…” I started.
“No, me first,” she interrupted. “When my mother first asked me to join Harlow’s crew and learn his secrets, I thought it was an easy task, a steppingstone, something to wet my feet.” She stepped closer to me, our shared height making our noses almost touch.
“But it wasn’t, Harlow was dangerous, and I knew I had to leave as soon as I could, or I wouldn’t have survived.” I searched her eyes for deceit or lies but it seemed that everything she was saying was sincere.
“And when I saw you, sitting on that bar stool, watching Jameson dance. I knew you had a boat, and I knew you’d do anything for him, and I needed to get home.” She placed her hand on my cheeks and sighed softly, the warm air hitting my skin.
“This was all before I knew you and before I truly got to know Erin and Jodie.” Her breath caught at the mention of the names. “Are they safe?”
I nodded once.
“But as soon as I got home, this feeling of wrongness it flooded me. Drowned me.”
My heart began to pound so loud I was sure she could hear it too. My traitor brain began conjuring up images of Florence and I together, happy. A ship of our own, the open ocean, the crew, and the sun. Perhaps a family of our own.
Stop.
What are you doing? She betrayed you; she left you behind.
I batted away the thoughts as though they were a bad smell.
“I don’t need recognition from my mother or The Temple or anyone.” Her bottom lip quivered as the words fell out, a tear streaming down her face.
“I just want you,” she whispered, and it wasn’t logical or brave or smart but I couldn’t help myself.
I pushed my lips against hers. My lips parted immediately, her tongue sweeping through my mouth softly. A small moan sounded in the bottom of my throat. My hands reached up automatically to cup her face. As though this is where they belonged.
This was where they were always supposed to be.
She gripped my waist, pushing up the fabric of my tunic so that her hands were against my bare skin. Our lips and tongues danced together, finding a rhythm and pattern that we both loved. A gasp fell from Florence’s lips as I dragged mine down her jaw and to her neck. Sucking and nibbling softly.
Her hands flew to my hair, and she pulled me back softly, her mouth eager to reach my skin. She licked from the base of my throat to my mouth, meeting me again for another earth-shattering kiss. When our lips finally parted, we rested our foreheads together, swallowing down deep mouthfuls of air, our swollen lips pulsing with desire.
“This is definitely not what I thought would happen when I saw you again,” I whispered. “Did you?”
“Only in my wildest dreams,” she breathed softly. And we lapped into a gentle silence, both of us trying to piece together what happened next. I didn’t trust her, not as I had before, but I couldn’t help wanting to be around her all the time. I couldn’t help the half of me that now felt whole after days of feeling hollow. I thought of the journey we had taken together, of her leaving me to rescue Jameson and Raf?—
Rafael. She still thought her brother was dead.
“Florence.” She met my eyes immediately, something like nerves flitting across her face.
“I need to tell you something,” I whispered, and she nodded.
“Your brother is here,” I confessed, and her eyes narrowed.
“Khol is here? Mother said he had gone galivanting with the half human girl, but she was sure he would return.” She pondered for a moment before meeting my gaze again. I mentally chided myself for forgetting she has two brothers.
“Khol is here but…” I swallowed against my dry throat. “But Rafael is here too.” The words left my mouth in an odd choke.
“No, Rafael is dead.” Her answer was automatic and cold, not one hint of emotion within it.
I shook my head. I knew this pain, the pain of not wanting to think of lost loved ones again. Not wanting to believe the impossible.
What would I have said, if the same was said to me? I would have laughed in their face.
“No, he isn’t.” I cupped her jaw, trying to be soft.
“He was imprisoned.” Her face remained blank. “Let me take you to him and he can explain.” She nodded slowly, her face portraying nothing. I grabbed her hand and led the way.