44. Raya
RAYA
“It was what we all needed; it was like coming home.”
- RAYA
The door to the council chamber swung open as Joy stepped through, another woman close behind her.
“Florence,” Khol breathed, striding toward her. She turned to face him, her eyes shining brightly.
“Hey, Khol.” She smiled, dirt and blood crusted around the edge of her face. They embraced fiercely.
“It feels as though much more than three years have passed; you’ve grown three feet!” She laughed softly, before catching her breath. “Is it true, Khol? Is Raf alive? Is he here?” she asked hurriedly, but before Khol could answer, Raf’s voice sounded.
“Florence,” he whispered and then their eyes met. Tears immediately sprung from Florence’s eyes.
And mine, Jameson’s, Erin’s, Jodie’s, and Joy’s.
The siblings rushed toward each other, Rafael wrapping his arms around his younger sister. The two soon began sobbing, beckoning a sniffling Khol to join their family reunion.
“How is this possible?” Florence whispered, her hands on Raf’s cheeks.
The brothers launched into the story, Rafael telling his stories and Khol telling his and mine. Florence told her own in exchange. Her journey to Captain Harlow, her experience on the ship, Erin and Jodie often cutting in to share stories. Soon all of us were sitting in a huddle on the floor, sharing stories, attempting to create plans, and trying to decide what the hell came next. Elian was stubborn, adamant that now The Prophecy was fulfilled, we should be preparing for battle. But who were we really fighting? The Sage Guard? The Temple? The humans? Or were they all the same thing? How did we stop the rumors of ‘war’ in Zetka?
By the time the candles had burned all the way to the bottom, we still didn’t have all the answers.
“I wish Ottie was here to share this moment with us,” Khol murmured as he thought of his youngest sibling. Florence nodded softly.
“Who is Ottie?” Rafael asked and my heart broke again.
“Oh Rafael,” Khol looked as though he had taken a knife to the heart.
“She is our youngest sister.” Khol smiled.
“We have another sister?” Rafael’s eyes were wide as saucers.
“Goddess, I missed her desperately. When I saw her at the ball, I barely recognized her. I didn’t realize so much could change in three years,” Florence sighed sadly. “I wanted to bring her with me, but she is just a child. It’s not safe for her.” Florence reached out to touch Raf’s shoulder, and he nodded softly.
“I hope I get to meet her one day.” He smiled softly.
“You need rest, all of you,” Elian said firmly, breaking the sweet silence.
Jodie had fallen asleep in her sister’s lap hours ago and Jameson was slumped on Raf’s shoulder. We wouldn’t be fighting anyone if we didn’t rest soon. I nodded, jumping to my feet and exiting with only a smile at Joy.
The rest of them trickled off into groups. Jameson and Rafael heading to one room quickly. Erin and Jodie in another, Joy and Florence in the one next to it.
The cool water dripped from my chin as I washed the day away. Or attempted to. Staring into the cloudy mirror of the washroom, I gripped onto the carved stone basin, finding it hard to meet my own gaze. The girl I used to be, all those months ago, was gone, buried beneath scars and scrapes and magic. The woman that stared back at me now was hardened by the ugliness and the beauty of life.
Standing in only my undergarments, I cataloged my nearly naked body. The scorch marks, red and angry, still resided on both hands, travelling up my forearms too. Various deep, purple bruises and pale lines of scarring littered my body. Proof of my physical and mental training with Khol. I conjured a small flame between my thumb and forefinger, watching it flicker, remembering a time when I knew nothing of the power that lurked beneath my skin, a time before the Sage Guard, before The Temple, before Khol and Joy and sweet Elijah.
Floorboards creaked softly as someone entered the room. I winced, knowing who awaited me behind the bathing room door.
“Raya?” Khol’s usual rumble was a soft whisper.
“In here,” I whispered back, small thuds sounded as he made his way over to the washroom.
“We need to talk…” The door creaked open loudly. “Oh… um… I’ll let you… sorry,” Khol stuttered after taking in my almost nakedness, shutting the door behind him. I leaned against the wooden door, sliding down until I sat at the very bottom of it. The sound of sliding fabric and a small thud made me think Khol had done the same.
“I can’t keep doing this,” the whisper left my mouth quickly, barely making its way through the wooden door.
“I know,” Khol replied, his tone equally as soft. “Me either.”
“I can’t keep telling you how sorry I am, or how much I regret the letter that lived in my top draw.” A pained sounded came from Khol’s throat at my words.
“But, Khol, I did not, and I would not have sent that letter.” I spoke the words for the final time, I wouldn’t allow myself to live within them any longer. “I had no choice, if I did not collect the information, my captain would have murdered me and those I care about deeply.” An old anxiety flared to life within me, but now I knew Alias was safe; Joy explained her seeing him at the night market.
“Raya,” Khol spoke softly.
“Please, just let me finish. If you cannot forgive me, then I understand but then we must draw a line beneath it, because I will not go on as if walking on broken glass. We have bigger enemies than each other.”
A long silence slipped between us, after a moment I thought Khol had gotten up and left, but he cleared his throat softly.
“I’m sorry too, for spending so much time blaming you when you had no choice. I forgive you, Raya, and I hope you can forgive me too.” His voice was slightly throaty for the last words.
Perhaps it was my feelings for Khol or the threat of impending confrontation and battle, but I swung the door open, immediately meeting Khol’s iron stare. He was standing at the door, knuckles poised to knock, my lip trembled slightly as his eyes dropped down my body and then back up to meet my face.
I walked toward him hurried and wrapped my arms around his neck. Stunned, he paused for a moment before returning my embrace, wrapping his arms around my waist, burying his face in my neck. I breathed in his rich scent, rain and vanilla, clutching him tighter. All my feelings of sweetness and care finally coming to the surface. All his words from the night of the ball finally coming back to me.
I feel like my heart will burn a hole in my chest every time I look at you.
“I am so afraid,” I whispered into his skin. He lifted me from the ground, and my legs wrapped around his waist instinctively. Forgiveness pulsed through me in waves. In reality, I don’t think I would have survived losing him.
“I know. Me too,” he replied softly. Leaning my head back, I admired his face. His pink, full lips and bright green eyes, his rich, brown skin folded into a frown.
“Khol,” I began, resting a palm against his cheek. “The one thing I am not afraid of…” I took a deep breath and took a leap, “is my feelings for you.” He let out a sigh in relief, I carried on.
“I want to be with you throughout…” I paused again, trying to figure out how to put our mess of a life into words, “all of this.” I laughed. The frown between Khol’s eyes smoothed.
“And after?” he asked quietly, as though afraid to say it out loud.
“And always,” I said softly, pressing my lips to his gently, an almost chaste kiss.
He chased after my mouth as I pulled away, pushing his lips against mine as though he was dying of thirst, and I was the only water left on earth. My legs tightened around him, pulling him closer than I thought possible. A sigh escaped my mouth, breathy and quick, blood rushed to my cheeks in embarrassment, but the noise seemed to light a fire in Khol. Our kisses turn hungry, almost animalistic. Lips and tongues and teeth, working in unison to insight burning passion.
A deep sound grumbled in Khol’s throat as I dragged my tongue up his ear. Heat pooled in my stomach, ferocious and wanting, as Khol walked us to the small bed in the corner. The feeling of smooth cotton against my back made my breath catch, and Khol’s large body covered mine. His kisses turned slow, as though he was savoring every moment we shared.
Wet lips trailed across my jaw, down my neck and to my chest. I pushed up, flipping us over, now straddling Khol’s broad chest. I held his cheeks within my hands, rubbing my thumb back and forth over the smooth skin. I leaned down, kissing his lips agonizingly slowly, sucking his bottom lip between my teeth. His hands began to slide around my waist, but I stopped him, pinning his arms to the sheets below us. He sat up to reach my lips before pulling my earlobe between his teeth.
My grip on his wrists loosened and he flip us over again.
“Tell me I’m the only one,” he whispered into my ear, and shivers ran up and down my entire body. I swallowed against my dry mouth.
“You’re the only one,” I gasped, and our mouths clashed together once again.
Sunlight trickled through the small cracks in the ceiling and walls. I had almost forgot that we were underground. My naked body was splayed over Khol’s like a blanket. Our legs entwined, our chests pressed together, the slow movements of his chest rocking me slowly. I stared up at his face.
Tell me I’m the only one.
His words from the night before sent shivers down my spine. His eyes fluttered open.
“Good morning,” he drawled slowly, and my heart kicked up a notch.
“Good morning,” I whispered, leaning down to kiss him softly. We stared at each other for a while, our unspoken language communicating how we felt about one and another. The pad of Khol’s thumb drew lazy circles on my hip, my fingers brushing through his dark hair.
“Raya,” he whispered after a short while, I nodded, although he seemed to struggle to find the words. I waited for the right ones to come to him.
“I have worshipped the Gods and Goddesses my entire life, and they are all you. In any form, in any shape, they are all you,” he whispered, his eyes darting from mine. My lips parted as I took in a deep breath.
“I love you,” he simply stated. Air whooshed from my lungs and everything in my body was pushing me to flee.
But I didn’t want to, because I loved this stupid, behemoth, lovely, wicked man with my whole heart.
“I love you,” I whispered back, wrapping him in a tight embrace.