Chapter 18
eighteen
On the morning of Christmas Eve, Olivia got up early in hopes of catching Malcolm before he disappeared, and, seeing that the bathroom sink was dry with no signs of use, she suspected Malcolm was still sleeping in the guest room.
So she tiptoed downstairs and set to making coffee, keeping her ear trained on the stairs for Malcolm’s footsteps.
At the very least she hoped to exchange a good morning greeting .
. . and perhaps gauge his response toward her—would it be warm or cool?
She was just leaving the kitchen with her mug of coffee when Malcolm came very quietly down the stairs, carrying Sadie’s doggy crate. Olivia smiled at him and held up her steaming mug. “I just made a fresh pot if you’re interested.”
“I’d love some.” He beamed at her in a way that gave her hope.
“Follow me,” she whispered, leading him to the kitchen and filling a mug. She knew he took his coffee black. “Do you have time to sit?” she asked quietly, gesturing toward Dad’s den, knowing conversation in there wouldn’t disturb the others still sleeping. Malcolm nodded and followed her.
“I feel like I’ve barely seen you the whole time you’ve been here,” she said as she sat in her dad’s favorite chair. “To be honest, I was starting to feel like you were avoiding me.”
He set Sadie’s crate on the floor and sat on the sofa with a thoughtful expression.
“No, I wasn’t avoiding you. Not at all. I was just trying not to aggravate your mother.
You know how that can be.” He opened Sadie’s crate, taking the pup into his lap.
“And I planned to keep her at my parents’ house today while I’m, uh, working over there. ”
“If you’re busy, you can leave her with me. I love having her around.”
“You really do seem to like her. But I sort of overheard your mom talking to your dad when I came in last night. Kind of complaining about Sadie.”
“Mom complains about everything,” she said. “You just have to learn to ignore her.”
“So the intervention plan didn’t really work?”
“It’s hard to say. I mean, it seems like she’s thinking about it.
But she’s so miserable with the pain in her hip and her blue hair and my grandma here and all.
Well, it’s a lot. I almost feel sorry for her.
” She grinned. “Almost. But, really, I don’t mind having Sadie here with me, especially if you’re busy helping your dad.
Sadie’s good company.” She moved from the chair to the couch, stroking Sadie’s soft coat. “She makes me happy.”
Malcolm beamed at her. “I love that about you, Olivia.”
Olivia felt some consolation. Maybe nothing had changed between them after all. Still, she wanted to reassure him.
“Believe me, I know my mom is extremely difficult. And to be honest, I don’t know if that’ll ever change.
Pastor Justin’s suggestion for a therapist makes so much sense, if we can get her to agree to it, and even if she does .
. .” She shrugged. “You know what they say about leading a horse to water.”
“I know.”
“But I’ve been learning something during my stay here.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m seeing that I can separate myself from her, you know, like I can emotionally step back.
I don’t have to feel responsible for her bad behavior.
We are totally different people. I am her daughter, and I’ll always love her, but I don’t have to let her control my thinking or my life.
As you know, she’s always been a control freak.
But more than ever, I’m aware that I am not her.
She might want me to be, but I’m not. I think spending all this time stuck taking care of her and seeing all her weird obsessions, well, it’s sort of been therapeutic for me.
Does that make sense?” She studied him, somewhat surprised by her own confession because it was the first time she’d said this out loud. But she believed it.
Malcolm nodded with what looked like relief. “That’s so good to hear, Olivia. Thanks for telling me that. I can see how that would happen while you’ve been around her so much lately.”
“Yeah, instead of running away and feeling guilty like I usually do, it’s like I’ve been thrown into the fire with her, so to speak, and it’s not comfortable, but it’s been a great life lesson.
” She sipped her coffee. “So, how are things at your parents’ house?
Are you resolving your plumbing problems? ”
“No, that’s not what I’ve been working on with him. That can’t be resolved until they get their septic tank emptied. Although Dad found a guy over in the valley who might be willing to come in a few days. Not before Christmas, though, and it will be expensive.”
“I’m glad your family is being forced to come here to celebrate. I just hope my Grinchy mom doesn’t ruin it for everyone.”
“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “You know my family, Livvie. They will be loud and crazy, and I’m pretty sure your mom will be drowned out by their exuberance.”
“That’s perfect.”
“Good morning, kiddos.” Dad came into the den, still wearing his bathrobe and slippers. “Thought I heard voices in here.”
“Did we disturb you?” Malcolm stood.
“Nah, I was already up. But not before you early birds.” He opened the blinds to a steely gray sky. “Looks like weather on the way. The forecast is snow in the mountains, but looks like it might hit the foothills too. Wouldn’t it be great to have a white Christmas?”
“Oh, I hope so.” Olivia pointed to her mug. “I made coffee. Want me to get you a cup?”
“Thanks, honey.” Dad sat in his chair and sighed happily. “It’s so great having family around. I’ve sure missed that. It’ll be lonely when you kids go back to the city.”
As Olivia went for her dad’s coffee, she could still hear him and Malcolm talking. Taking her time, she listened as Malcolm explained about his work with Doc Wheeler this past week, and how it might become an opportunity for him to move back home.
“I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed small-town living. Can’t beat the commute to the clinic. Can you believe it only takes me about three minutes to get there?”
“I know what you mean. Sometimes, if the weather is good, I walk to work,” Dad said.
Listening to the two men visiting congenially felt so good, like this was what was meant to be, and she longed for it to be permanent.
Was that even possible? But hearing Mom’s bell ringing, she knew it was time to go assist her, and so she hurriedly took Dad his coffee and then excused herself.
Today would be a long day with Mom’s grim attitude toward the houseful of guests expected this evening.
Olivia knew it would take more patience, prayer, and emotional distancing to get through it.
***
After a very trying morning of attempting to pacify her agitated mother while Grandma busily prepared things in the kitchen for the evening festivities, Olivia was ready to throw in the towel when Cindy showed up with two large shopping bags.
Assuming she was bringing food and was here to assist Grandma, Olivia led her toward the kitchen.
“Hi there,” Lulu called out above the cheery Christmas music. “Are you here to help?”
“Yes, but I was hoping to visit with Jane first.” Cindy paused to set the bag on a barstool, then extracted a pink box from on top. “I have something for Jane for Christmas. But I wanted her to have it early.”
“Mom’s in her room.” Olivia lowered her voice. “She’s kind of sulking.”
“She’s definitely in a foul mood today.” Lulu set a mixing bowl in the sink. “Doing a great imitation of Ebenezer Scrooge.”
“Maybe this will cheer her up.” Cindy smiled. “Come on and see.”
“Let me get this cake in the oven first,” Lulu said.
Curious and hoping the contents of that box really would lift Mom’s spirits, Olivia led the way.
Hopefully it didn’t contain something from the bakery since they used pink boxes too.
Mom had just been complaining about being sick of sweets and predicting they’d all gain an extra ten pounds before the holidays were over.
And naturally, she wanted the holidays and all the trappings and trimmings gone as soon as possible.
Olivia knocked three times like her mother had instructed, then cautiously opened the door. “Mom, there’s someone here to see you.”
“Tell them I’m not seeing anyone today,” Jane growled from her wheelchair, which was still facing away.
“Cindy has something for you,” Olivia pressed on. “Early Christmas presents.”
“Tell her I’m not interested,” Jane snapped. “As far as I’m concerned, Christmas is canceled this year.”
“Oh, Jane,” Cindy said gently. “I’m sure it must feel like that to you. Goodness, you’ve had such a hard go of it. But I hope you won’t give up.”
Jane spun her chair around to face them. She saw the gifts in Cindy’s hand, but her expression was hard to read. She was probably trying to seem polite, but underneath that fake veneer she appeared to be seething.
Cindy seemed oblivious or just adept at ignoring bad manners as she sat on the chair by Jane.
“You know my middle daughter, Ruby? Well, she’s a licensed hairdresser and works at a Seattle salon.
So, several days ago, I asked her to hunt something down for me.
” She opened the pink box and removed a platinum wig, holding it up in front of Jane.
It was cut in a bob that looked like an exact replica of Jane’s hair—before it turned Smurf blue.
Jane blinked in astonishment. “What . . . how did you . . . I don’t understand.” But she wheeled her chair closer, reaching out to touch the hair. “It feels real.”
“It is real.” Cindy beamed at her. “I had Rob text me some photos of you that I texted to Ruby, and she managed to find this for you.” She stood up. “Should we try it on?”
Jane simply nodded, waiting as Cindy fiddled with the wig. “Of course, it would probably be better if your hair was shorter or in a wig cap.”
Olivia, feeling a mixture of disbelief and gratitude, held up the hand mirror for her mother. “Oh, Mom, it really looks like you.”
Jane was still trying to tuck stubborn strands of damaged blue hair out of sight, but she seemed pleased. “It really does resemble my old hair,” she said quietly. “Impressive.” She looked up at Cindy. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Isn’t it just perfect?” Cindy looked exuberant. “I couldn’t believe it when I saw it. It looked just like you.”
“Let me pay you for it—”
“No, Jane. This is a gift. Just receive it as a gift. Please.”
Jane pursed her lips, then slowly nodded. “Thank you.” She was still fiddling with her blue hair. “If I had some scissors, I’d just hack this horrible blue mop off.”
“Maybe I can help you with that. You know, I cut Erik’s hair and all the kids’ hair until they got too old and wouldn’t let me. I’m fairly handy with the scissors.”
Jane commanded Olivia to go to her bathroom, specifying exactly which drawer to find scissors in. As Olivia fetched them, she could hear her grandmother coming into the bedroom and gushing over the wig. When she returned, she saw that Lulu was carrying a brightly colored Christmas gift bag.
“Isn’t it perfect?” Olivia said as she handed Cindy the scissors and a towel and set down a wastebasket to catch the hair.
“Oh, Cindy.” Lulu patted her back. “You truly are a wonder.” She held up the bag. “As long as we’re celebrating Christmas early, I wanted to give you this, Jane.” She set the bag in Jane’s lap. “I thought you might wear it tonight.”
Jane’s brow creased slightly, but she didn’t say anything as she slowly opened the bag.
Preparing for some weird item of clothing that her mother would hate, Olivia actually held her breath as red tissue paper was removed to reveal what looked like some kind of silky garment.
Jane looked surprised as she extracted it.
In shades of blues, greens, and a bit of silver and gray, it was a sophisticated paisley print that reminded Olivia of some of her mother’s favorite scarves.
“Do you remember hostess gowns?” Lulu asked.
“From the seventies? I remember seeing them in movies, but I never had one myself. Elegant ladies would use them for entertaining, and I hear they’re making a comeback.
At least that’s what the woman at Boho Girl Boutique told me.
It’s something to wear if you’re hosting a fancy cocktail party.
Anyway, it’s not really my style, but something about it reminded me of you.
And if you don’t like it, I will not be the least bit offended.
The woman assured me you can exchange it for something else. ”
“Let’s get a good look at it.” Olivia lifted the garment from her astonished mother’s lap, unfurling it and holding it up. “Oh, Mom, it’s absolutely gorgeous. Look how the full skirt just flows.”
“And since it’s loose, it can slip right over your head and drape over your legs, so you won’t have to put on these pants you’ve been complaining about.” Lulu pointed to the detested warm-up pants.
Jane mutely nodded as she fingered the silky fabric.
“And those colors have always looked beautiful on you.” Olivia held the gown up to Jane, hanging it on her shoulders as if she were dressing a paper doll. She gave her the hand mirror again. “You look quite regal.”
“Queen Jane.” Lulu did a mock bow.
Jane looked slightly sheepish as she gazed up at Lulu, and, unless Olivia was imagining it, her mother’s eyes were getting misty. “I really don’t know what to say.” She turned to Cindy. “And to you too. I’m just so—so overwhelmed.”
“Why don’t you just tell them both thanks, Mom,” Olivia urged.
Jane slowly shook her head, her eyes a mixture of wonder and confusion as she quietly thanked all three of them. “Really,” she finally said. “Your kindness . . . so undeserved . . . well, it’s just overwhelming.” Now her tears began to flow.
Olivia handed her a tissue, and Cindy held up the scissors. “Now, if you’re certain you want to do this, I’ll give you a haircut to make your wig fit better.” She draped the towel around Jane’s shoulders.
“Maybe you’ll look like a punk rocker when she’s done,” Olivia teased, hoping to coax a smile from her mom. But Jane just looked down at her lap, as if she really was thinking about all this. And that was probably good.
“Well, I’ve got work to do,” Lulu said crisply.
“I’ll help you,” Olivia told her. And as she trailed her grandmother to the kitchen, she felt like skipping and singing. Maybe Christmas wouldn’t be such a disaster after all.