Chapter 65
Ilie with my head on the dip of his shoulder; the shape is so perfect it feels like it’s been made just for me to lie there. The static charge of the room has finally died down, though I can’t imagine what my hair looks like. I’m betting frizzy.
A sense of sadness ripples through me as I think about how much Llin would have loved that little titbit of information, though she would have been bound to use it to mock me mercilessly.
Now that I’m sated, tiredness has struck again, aching all the way down to my bones. As I let out a yawn, Kyor shifts a little on the bed, moving himself and me a little more upright.
‘We need to talk about Jonas and Benny,’ he says.
I raise an eyebrow. ‘You want to talk about them now? After that? Interesting. I’m not saying I’m opposed, but …’
He growls and then shoots me a glare so venomous I’m almost reminded of those early days. But now I recognise this icy expression for what it is. Jealousy.
‘Not funny,’ he huffs.
‘A tiny bit funny?’ I try.
‘No.’
I drop back onto his chest and let out a giggle. Toying with him is fun. How is it that when I’m with him, nothing else seems to matter?
‘Fine,’ I say in all seriousness as I realise his body is growing tense. ‘What is it you want to talk about?’
‘They didn’t buy it. The residual magic thing. Neither of them. Lorathin questioned me on it and I tried to cover, but he’s not as dumb as he looks. Even with that pretty-boy beard of his.’
I didn’t know that a pretty-boy beard was a thing, and I add it to what’s probably going to be an endless list of things I wish I could share with Llin. Still, I bite down on my lip. There’s no denying he’s likely right.
‘I’ll talk to them.’
He doesn’t look convinced. ‘And tell them what? Are you going to mention precisely how you killed Oke?’
‘No,’ I reply instantly. I trust my friends, but I’m not a fool. The Wrohelm court taught me how fragile some friendships can be, and I don’t plan to repeat the mistakes of my youth.
‘Then what are you going to say?’
‘I don’t know right now, but I’ll think about it.’
Silence falls between us, but I can feel his thoughts whirring away. It’s as though that static bolt that ran from him to me has increased my sensitivity even to the parts of him he keeps hidden.
‘There are other ways,’ he says slowly. ‘People with powers in the High Hold. Powers to alter memories. Spells, too. I’m sure I could find one. Find a way to make it work. Assuming you don’t want a more … permanent solution.’
I swivel around to look at him, hoping to find humour in his eyes. But no, he’s absolutely serious.
‘No.’ I say the word as firmly as possible. ‘One hundred percent no. I’m not wiping my friends’ memories. And we’re definitely not killing them.’
‘Even if it keeps you alive?’
‘Even then.’ My gaze softens as I shift myself around so that I’m straddling him. I plant a kiss on his lips. ‘Besides, you don’t believe in killing Rettlings outside of the trials, remember?’
‘That was when the trials were the most important thing to me,’ he responds.
My heart swells with such an unexpected warmth that it causes a prick of heat behind my eyes. Is it sweet or psychotic, a man wanting to kill my best friends to protect me? I guess it’s both.
‘I trust them, so please, my love, trust me too.’
I linger on those words again. It’s only the second time I’ve said them, and they came with even more ease than before. Unfortunately, they don’t appear to have alleviated his fears the way I hoped.
‘I get that you needed to trust them before now,’ Kyor continues.
‘But the next trial is the Ofur. Allegiances don’t last past this point.
It will be every man for himself. And let’s not forget your buddy Benny already made some serious lies by omission.
I’m assuming from your reaction earlier that you didn’t know who he was? ’
I didn’t, but I don’t respond. Did Benny lie? Perhaps. But it’s not as though I ever pressed too hard. I knew there was a hierarchy with Llin and the others, and I knew he was at the top of it. I’m sure it wouldn’t have been that hard to work out if I’d really wanted to do so.
‘Benny did what he thought was best, and it doesn’t change how much he helped me.
Without the islanders’ training and protection at the start, I doubt I’d have even made it past the first trial.
And as for Jonas, his father was and is a true friend of my family.
He’s the only one who helped Kay and me when we were stripped. ’
A pout tightens Kyor’s lips, and I wish I could read the meaning behind it. At first, I assume it’s because I’ve reminded him of what his lie did to us all those years ago. But then his frown lines deepen.
‘I don’t get it. I know you’re happy that Acacia’s in the High Hold with him, but I’ve known Lord Lorathin my entire life and I’ve never known him to do anything that doesn’t benefit himself.’
‘Could that just be the fact that you instinctively see the worst in everyone?’ I tease.
A smile twitches at the corner of my lips, but he refuses to reciprocate it.
‘Kyor, you’ve got to listen to sense when it comes to Benny and Jonas.
At least let me speak to them before you start making any rash plans. Please?’
He lets out a sigh. ‘Fine, no killing them … yet. But you need to get control of this power. Know what you can and can’t do, when you should and shouldn’t use it. When we get back to Wrohelm, that’s the only training you and I are doing.’
My smile twitches again. ‘You know, it sounds as if you like telling me what to do.’ I plant a kiss on his neck, lowering my chest so that it’s flush against him. ‘I’m sure we can think of a far more fun way of putting that commanding attitude of yours to use.’
He huffs out a laugh. ‘I thought you needed more rest.’
‘Well, maybe this time you could do a bit more of the work?’
Mock horror registers on his face and in one sweeping motion, he stands up, with me still wrapped around his waist. With a wicked grin and a glint in his eyes, he throws me onto the bed and follows me down.
‘Oh, I am more than happy to do all the work …’ He growls, sending a static ripple straight between my thighs, but before my body can respond, my attention is stolen by the scars on his arm.
It’s not the first time I’ve noticed this particular set of scars, which are far paler and clearly edged than many he has, but this time I am drawn to them.
There’s something about the thickness of the lines and the way their curves perfectly match the contours of his skin that makes them look almost organic in creation.
‘How did you get these ones?’ I ask, running a finger along the skin.
‘Really, Thorn, that’s what you want to talk about now?’
‘If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. I’ve just never seen scars quite like them before.’
He draws in a long breath as he shifts slightly and lies down next to me.
A slow silence builds around us, but I don’t press it. No scars come without pain and sometimes the memories are almost too raw to confront. I feel he’ll tell me about their origin when he’s ready.
‘My father.’ His eyes are fixed on the ceiling as he speaks, his fingers combing lazily through my hair. ‘He considered it a strengthening exercise. He would ignite a fire on his palm and hold it against my skin. The more I screamed, the longer I had to endure it.’
‘Kyor!’ My hand flies to my mouth. ‘That’s torture. No parent should do that to their child. Hell, no human should do that to anyone. Ever.’
He shrugs as though I can’t see the pain radiating from the memory. ‘It was only for a few years. Once my powers came in, I told him it was only fair that I see how a king fared in a similar test. Suddenly he didn’t seem so keen to use that particular training method.’
Tears sting my eyes. All that wealth. All that luxury. All that darkness hidden beneath the gilding. For all the pain our father’s neglect caused Kay and me, not once did I fear he would physically hurt us. With my heart heavy, I press my hand against Kyor’s cheek and tilt his head to look at me.
‘I am so sorry you went through that,’ I whisper.
‘Others have gone through far worse.’
‘That doesn’t make it right.’
For a long while we lie there in silence, my head rising and falling to the rhythm of his breath, until finally his lips find mine again.
The kisses are softer than before, with tenderness in every touch, and yet once again I find my body pressing closer and closer.
Needing that intimacy. And from the way his hands start grazing my body, I’m not the only one.
‘Again already, my love?’ he whispers.
A stream of static brushes my chest and my eyes roll to the back of my head as I anticipate what’s about to happen, but before I can draw his head down to me, a horn blares out somewhere in the distance. His head twists to the window and he peers out.
He grimaces. ‘That’s the ship back to the mainland. Which means we need to get moving.’
‘Can’t we just see if there’s another one coming in a couple of days?’ I groan, only for Kyor to let out a laugh that hits me right in the chest.
‘Don’t worry. We’ll pick this up later.’
With his hand on my forearms, he hoists me up to sitting as I let out an exaggerated sigh. ‘I just wish we could take this bed with us.’
‘Don’t worry. We won’t be sleeping in the barracks forever.’