Chapter 65 #2
I get that the comment is meant to make me feel happy, but instead, it causes a bolt of nervousness to churn in my belly.
What is going to happen to us when this ends?
Jonas assured me that Kay and I wouldn’t have to go back to the slums, and Morwenna has offered us a home here – and with Benny as the future duke of this place a future in the Eastern Isles is a promising one – but that option would take me away from all we’ve known, not to mention away from Kyor.
And given that Jonas’s proposal was made when he still thought there was a chance for him and me, the offer could well be retracted now.
I shake the thoughts away. That’s not a question I have the capacity to wonder about right now.
In fact, I don’t have the capacity for much.
‘I’ll head straight to the library when we get back. See if I can find some books on whatever this is that’s happening to me,’ I tell Kyor as we head outside and towards the dock. ‘I’ve no idea where I’ll start though. Not with how big the place is.’
A new nervousness fills me. It would certainly help if Caroline was in the library to help with my research, but I still don’t know if she’s ready to face me.
The thought of Wrohelm also causes another pang of disappointment.
With the post-trial ball having been held here in Brandish, there was no chance to see Kay, meaning the next time she and I will be together is when this thing is over.
Hopefully that will give her time to realise there was nothing I could do when it came to Holden, that I honestly tried to let him go. His death was in his own hands.
‘You okay?’ Kyor asks, my silence clearly more conspicuous than I realised.
‘I was just thinking about Kay. I wish they’d let us see other people now and then. Do they really think that me seeing my baby sister will somehow jeopardise the trials?’
Kyor shrugs. ‘It sucks, but it’s another way to test your dedication to the gifting, I guess. But Acacia will know you’re okay. Every person in the High Hold who’s placed a bet against you has lost it, so your continued success will be all anyone is talking about.’
I can’t help but laugh. ‘You mean, they all thought I’d be dead by now?’ I ask, feigning shock.
He kisses the top of my head. ‘Yes and more fool them.’ He steps back so he can take my hands and look me in the eye. ‘I know it’s hard, but we’re in this together, right? At least we have each other. And lots of privacy in the barracks now, too.’
I grin. ‘That is a good thing,’ I say, pushing myself up onto my tiptoes to kiss him.
The ship is probably a hundred times bigger than the rowboat we came across on, and thankfully, there is no sign of a kraken in the water as we cast off.
Benny and Jonas are on the deck, staring out at the view.
Leaving Kyor a little way back, I go and offer Benny a deep hug. ‘How are you doing?’ I ask him.
‘Good. It was good to see everyone. Reminds me what I’m fighting for, you know?’
I nod, though the truth is I still don’t know what it is he – or any of the others – are here for.
And now, more than ever, that lack of knowledge is unnerving.
Just like Kay said at the beginning of this, everyone thinks they’re worthy of Etta’s gift, and as Kyor pointed out, it’s each person for themselves now that we’re at the Ofur, meaning maybe I should be a little more sparing with my trust. Though the way Benny beams at me makes it nearly impossible.
‘Well, I think it’s safe to say that every person on the island is happy that you’re okay now,’ Benny says. ‘Those storms were definitely starting to piss people off.’
‘There were storms while I was out?’
I’m frowning, still not sure what the weather has to do with me until Benny’s gaze shifts across to Kyor, and it clicks.
‘You mean …’
‘Let’s just say they had an unusually greenish hue …’ Jonas replies.
A spasm of warmth flickers inside me. He told me he was terrified, but it’s different to know there was physical evidence of it.
‘I’m also very glad to see you’re all right, Rose,’ Jonas says. There’s a strange formality to his tone and when I go to hug him, his body is unusually rigid. ‘Just one more trial to get through.’
‘Right?’
I know from the look Benny gives me that he can feel the tension too, but I’m not exactly sure what I can do about it.
A boat is hardly the most practical place for a private conversation, assuming that’s even what Jonas wants, as the other four remaining Rettlings are here too.
Along with Zara and Grenda, the other two who made it to the Ofur are Moryal and Del, the two behemoth men from Galreck.
My mind shifts to the last trial and specifically to Seiren. I pray she didn’t die trying to seize a boat.
With Jonas being so standoffish, I quickly head back to Kyor, though we don’t speak much.
Instead, we simply stand there, his arms wrapped around me as I gaze out at the water.
When the mainland comes into view, my stomach twists.
The weight of it all presses down, and I know that no matter what happens at the end of this, life will never be the same as before, but wasn’t that what I wanted?
Deep down, I know whatever future awaits us has to be better than life in the slums, but the unknown is nerve-wracking all the same.
‘Can you see that?’ Benny comes over to us when we’re still a fair way from the shore. ‘It looks like they’re waiting for us.’
‘A welcoming committee, you mean?’ My heart lifts at the thought that I might get to see Kay after all. But the hope fades as Benny shakes his head.
‘No, I don’t think so. I think it’s just priestesses.’
A knot binds my ribs as Kyor and I exchange a look.
I sigh. ‘They can’t be doing this again so soon. There’s no way.’
‘We’re not ready for the Ofur.’ Kyor frowns. ‘You’re barely recovered.’
‘No, it’s not possible,’ Jonas joins in. ‘Every Retterheld recorded has been across four moons. We’ve only just finished the third cycle. It should be at least another week, if not two.’
‘Well, someone ought to tell them that then.’ Benny gestures to the shore where I can now make out the blue robes of the priestesses, even if I can’t see their faces. And I know exactly which priestess he’s talking about when he adds, ‘Is it just me, or does she also freak the fuck out of you all?’
None of us reply. We don’t need to.
High Priestess Mila waits on the dock and my eyes go to her belt, to the dagger that is still at her side.
‘Is it me, or does something about this feel dodgy?’ Benny asks. ‘Dodgier than usual,’ he amends.
‘It’s not just you,’ I reply.
‘Just stay close.’ Kyor takes my hand, his comment solely for me. ‘And not because I think you need me, but—’
‘I know,’ I say. The fact is, I also want to hold his hand. There’s a quiver in the air, creating a sense of unease.
Not a single person speaks as we disembark, and Mila waits until we’re all standing on the dock before she speaks.
‘Rettlings, I am grateful to see your safe return. Etta has blessed you indeed. But I am afraid I have bad news. During the previous trial, there was a gross violation of the Retterheld rules.’
A cold like iron threads through my blood. She knows, I think in a panic. She knows that I used the ice powers that somehow hide in the shadows of my veins. Issen powers.
She knows I’m the reason the kraken escaped. I am going to die for this, and from the way Kyor’s hand is now clenching mine, he’s thinking the same.
‘As is customary when such things happen, I have sought Etta’s guidance, for I myself believed that the only suitable punishment was death.’
My knees feel weak. Have I survived a drowning by kraken only to be put to the sword now? The confirmation of my worst fear is enough to steal any strength I had. I can’t breathe. This isn’t happening. Killed, not in the trials, but for this? Something I have no control over?
‘I’m not going to let anything happen to you,’ Kyor growls beside me. ‘If they—’
‘But,’ Mila continues loudly, glaring at Kyor, ‘in this particular circumstance, Etta has chosen to make an exception.’
She steps forward. ‘Prince Kyor Knavin, you are hereby disqualified from the trials for attacking, injuring, and showing wilful disrespect towards the priestesses of Etta.’
It feels like the air has been ripped from my lungs. They’re going to take Kyor? For his lightning strike? I should be relieved it’s not my neck on the line, that my secret is safe, but this can’t be happening. I need him.
‘No.’ I lurch forward, my arms in front of him. ‘It wasn’t his fault. He only did that because—’
‘It’s fine, Thorn.’ His voice cuts across mine.
‘I used my powers to break the ward on the kraken. I will accept my punishment.’ He leans in as if to kiss my cheek, but instead he whispers, ‘It’ll be okay.
I promise you. I’ll be waiting for you. Just get control of those damn powers and win the Ofur.
The gifting is yours. Fucking own it, Thorn. ’
Before I can reply, he disappears.