Chapter 19
When I heard the word ‘lodge’ I imagined a small log cabin – what I should have imagined is like a hunting lodge or even a ski lodge.
It’s a large detached property that somehow still looks cosy, sitting in its own large private gardens next to the equestrian centre.
It totally makes sense why Jake wants to buy the place now.
This would make one hell of a family home.
It’s early afternoon when we arrive.
‘This,’ JJ says, leaning forward between the front seats, ‘is giving Netflix drama. If someone doesn’t die mysteriously in a lake, I’ll be disappointed.’
Jake is the first one out of the car. He smiles as he approaches the lodge – the place he wants to call home. How often do you actually get to sleep in a place before you buy it? Honestly, I’m so glad this deal is working out for him even better than we expected.
‘Right,’ I say, gripping the strap of my bag as I climb out. ‘Here’s hoping this isn’t awkward.’
‘A little bit of awkward can be fun,’ JJ jokes.
‘Yeah, well, we’ll see how you feel about that in a couple of days,’ I reply. ‘Thanks for coming.’
‘I couldn’t let you do this alone – just the four of you in this big house for a week,’ she replies. ‘I have everything I need to work from here – plus, you’re my most exciting client right now. I really want to sell your book and with Jake I think we’ve got a shot.’
We both glance over at him, standing in front of the lodge, staring up at the building, probably imagining where he’d put Christmas lights, his future partner and kids waving at him from the window, stuff like that – that’s what my brain would be doing.
Another car pulls up behind us. Cordelia emerges first, in a huge pair of sunglasses and big floaty dress. Andy follows, lugging what looks like really heavy bags but still looking giddy to be here.
‘Let me help you, buddy,’ Jake says, rushing over to take some bags from him. He picks them up like they’re nothing.
‘Isn’t it beautiful?’ Cordelia says, gently clapping her hands together with an air of someone who often gets what they want.
‘Y’all are going to love this place, I can tell,’ Jake says, leading the way.
I feel like I already do, even standing outside. This place has home written all over it.
Jake puts the bags down in the doorway.
‘Hey,’ he says to Andy, offering a hand. ‘Good to see you.’
Andy shakes his hand.
‘Yeah,’ Andy says. ‘You too. This place is… something.’
‘Ain’t it?’ Jake replies, smiling up at the building. ‘Perfect place to raise a family, spend a life.’
Andy’s jaw tightens. Obviously he thinks Jake is talking about me. Little does he know I’m simply a means to an end.
JJ clears her throat loudly.
‘Right! Shall we go inside before I die of anticipation?’ she says. ‘I need to get settled in my room, check my emails…’
‘Let’s do it,’ Jake replies.
Inside, the lodge is even more impressive. Three large bedrooms, a huge open-plan kitchen-living space, a long wooden table that looks like it’s hosted royalty – or at the very least dramatic family arguments about classic rich-people problems – and a fireplace big enough to roast a hog.
Arty Morgan, the owner, pokes his head in.
‘Just popping in to say if you need anything, give us a shout,’ he tells us. ‘I’ve got a meeting, so I can’t stop, but please make yourselves at home.’
‘I plan to,’ Jake says quietly to himself.
The front door clicks shut. His footsteps fade. And suddenly it’s just us. Me, JJ, Jake, Andy and Cordelia. Five adults. Five suitcases and all kinds of emotional baggage.
‘So,’ Cordelia says brightly. ‘There are three bedrooms.’
‘Let’s pick at random,’ Andy suggests. ‘Make sure it’s fair.’
‘I was going to say the happy couple should get the master,’ Cordelia replies.
‘Well, we have two happy couples,’ JJ says through a sweet smile.
‘She’s right, Tink, let’s leave it to luck,’ Andy replies.
Timber beams. Stone fireplace. Big windows looking out over fields and stables.
Everything is warm, luxurious, and yet somehow still cosy.
I can imagine a life here – muddy boots by the back door, Jake at the sink washing up with his sleeves rolled, a child perched on the counter eating freshly baked cookies.
Obviously I don’t see myself being the one baking them, but a girl can dream.
Andy clears his throat.
‘Right. Should we get settled?’ he suggests.
‘Let’s do it,’ JJ says excitedly.
‘This place is stunning,’ Cordelia says as she climbs the stairs. ‘I can’t believe we get it for the week.’
‘It’s only going to make the wedding even more special, Tink,’ Andy replies.
I feel almost annoyed that I have, in a roundabout way, facilitated this. What cruel and unusual torture for myself.
We all head upstairs to choose our rooms. Jake and I are last, so we just get whichever room is left. I’m hoping and praying for a twin but no such luck.
‘This is cute, but definitely not the master,’ I overhear Cordelia call out from her room.
‘I’m pretty sure this one is,’ Jake replies.
Light floods in through two large windows. The view is gardens, trees and fields with horses in. The bed is huge – king-sized at least – dressed in white linen with a plaid throw over the top.
It boasts two armchairs, two windows, two dressers – peeking into the en suite, I can even see two sinks. There is, however, only one bed.
Jake is zipping around, checking everything out. I suppose he’s looking at it through different eyes. This isn’t his digs for the week, it’s his potential bedroom for the foreseeable. I’d be made up with it too.
Jake closes the door for a moment, giving us some privacy. Just me, him and our one bed.
‘So,’ I say softly. ‘This is fine, right? We can share…’
‘The room? Sure,’ he replies.
‘And we are supposed to be engaged,’ I continue, as if he doesn’t know. ‘Which means people will assume we sleep in the same bed, so that’s all normal, normal, normal.’
Which is exactly what I don’t sound – normal, normal, normal.
Jake nods again, calm as ever.
‘Sounds right,’ he says.
‘And if we don’t,’ I continue, like I’m building up steam, ‘and someone finds out, then the whole thing falls apart. JJ would kill me for messing this up.’
‘She looks like she could,’ he jokes.
‘She absolutely could,’ I reply.
Then I fall silent. I’m being weird. Weird, weird, weird. And Jake can tell.
‘I can sleep on the floor,’ he says simply.
The words land with a jarring mix of relief and disappointment, if I’m being totally honest. Which is absurd, because I don’t want to share a bed with him. I don’t. I was freaking out at the thought. I just… don’t want him to sleep on the floor either. That’s it.
‘You don’t have to do that,’ I say quickly.
‘I do,’ he says, like it’s obvious. ‘You’re uncomfortable.’
‘I’m not—’ I start, then stop.
I guess I am, but I’m not uncomfortable with him. I’m uncomfortable with the situation.
‘Whit,’ he says quietly, ‘I don’t want you feeling awkward. I’ll take the floor. No one will know.’
‘You can’t sleep on the floor for a whole week,’ I point out.
‘Sure I can.’
‘You’ll get a bad back,’ I insist.
‘I’ve slept on stable floors with sick horses,’ he tells me. ‘I’ll be fine on a fancy bedroom floor. Don’t worry so much.’
Oh, but worrying is all I do.
‘Unless you want me to sleep in the bed?’ he checks. I don’t blame him for checking. I’m definitely making it sound like I want him to.
My face goes red-hot in a split second.
‘No!’ I reply. ‘I mean… not like that. I mean… you shouldn’t have to sleep on the floor because of me.’
‘It’s all good,’ he says with a smile. ‘There’s plenty of pillows, extra blankets – no one will find out.’
I exhale. I guess he’s right. This is probably the best way to do… whatever this is.
‘You said you slept on a stable floor?’ I say, circling back to that.
‘One of the horses was sick, poor thing. She was miserable,’ he explained.
‘And you stayed with her? All night? On the floor?’
He shrugs, as if it’s nothing.
‘Someone had to.’
No they didn’t, and it makes a warm fuzzy feeling spread through my chest, because that tells me more about him than anything.
He’s kind, caring, steady. The kind of man who stays with a sick animal in a stable because he can’t bear to leave it alone.
Huh, is that why I low-key wanted him to sleep in the bed with me?
For his calming presence? Maybe, among other reasons…
‘Okay, we should head back down, join the others,’ I suggest. ‘See what the plan is for the evening.’
‘Let’s do it,’ he says with a smile.
‘I think we should light the log burner,’ Cordelia announces as we arrive.
‘It’s not even cold, Tink,’ Andy tells her.
‘It’ll be colder later,’ she replies. ‘Plus, it’s like, a vibe.’
JJ is sprawled on the sofa. She laughs.
‘Well, if it’s a vibe,’ she teases.
‘I saw a place outside, for chopping wood,’ Cordelia says, pointing.
‘I can—’
‘I’ll do it,’ Andy insists, cutting Jake off.
‘Let’s all go out,’ JJ suggests. ‘Seeing as though it’s such a nice sunny day.’
So we all head outside.
There’s a neat pile of logs waiting by the chopping block, ready for Andy to prove his masculinity judging by the look on his face.
An axe is embedded dramatically in the stump.
Andy rolls up his sleeves.
‘I’ve got this,’ he says.
But he don’t got this. Not at all. He lifts the axe, swings, and it bounces off the log with a sad little dumf sound. The log rolls away like it’s rejecting him.
‘Uh-oh,’ JJ sings. ‘Better luck next time.’
Andy glares at the log like it’s personal now.
He tries again. This time the axe gets stuck halfway in, then tips sideways, nearly hitting his foot when he lets go of it.
‘Andy, I’d stop before you lose a toe,’ I point out, genuinely worried for his safety.
‘I’m fine,’ he insists, his face reddening by the second. ‘It’s just awkward wood.’
Cordelia pats his arm.
‘It’s okay, Buzz.’
Every time I hear them use their nicknames, it makes my teeth itch.
Jake watches politely for a moment, then steps forward.
‘There’s a trick to it, mind if I show you?’ he asks.
Andy straightens up, clearly not thrilled, but he shrugs.
‘Go for it,’ he says with a casual (but not at all casual) shrug.
Jake takes the axe. He adjusts his stance like he’s done this a thousand times. Calm. Focused. He sets the log in place, then looks up at Andy.
‘It’s all in the angle,’ he explains.
And then he brings it down and the log splits cleanly in two. It’s like a hot knife going through butter.
JJ lets out a slow breath.
‘Jesus,’ she says quietly.
Andy laughs a little too loudly, but then – suspiciously on cue – he seemingly feels his phone vibrating in his pocket.
‘I have to take this,’ he says, pointing at it. ‘Feel free to carry on without me.’
Oh, I bet.
Jake smiles. He probably knows that’s not a real phone call, but he seems happy to do it, so he cracks on.
Cordelia turns back towards the lodge.
‘Right! Let’s go inside – we’ll see you in there, Jake,’ she calls out.
‘Sure thing,’ he replies.
Cordelia marches ahead of us. We follow her but hang back, lingering behind a wall, still watching Jake.
He’s chopping away, making it look easy. He’s warm enough that he peels his jacket off and tosses it aside.
I feel like I’m holding my breath – JJ too, the pair of us up here perving from behind a wall.
It’s so captivating, watching his broad shoulders, his strong arms, all working together.
He pauses for a second, wiping sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, and then he peels off his shirt. Holy shit, his body is something else, like a statue of a god. I guess the gym is no substitute for working outside every day because he’s jacked.
‘Oh my God,’ JJ blurts – I’m not going to lie, she sounds like she’s verging on an orgasm.
Jake looks up to see where the noise came from. We both duck behind the wall but he probably saw us.
‘Y’all spying on me?’ he calls out.
We keep quiet. JJ even places her hand over her mouth. There’s a chance he didn’t see us, but his laugh to himself suggests he did.
So JJ and I, like the dignified women we are, crawl back to the lodge on our hands and knees. Just in case there’s a chance we got away with it.
‘Oh my God,’ JJ cackles once we’re inside. ‘He saw us.’
‘Of course he did,’ I reply. ‘You made sex noises when he took his shirt off.’
‘I’m only human, Whit,’ she replies. ‘I didn’t mean to. My soul left my body.’
‘You made sex noises from your soul leaving your body?’ I repeat back to her so she can hear how silly it sounds.
‘Our souls are a key part of sex,’ she replies.
‘Okay, you have to have heard how that sounds,’ I repeat back to her with a snort.
‘Yep, I see what I did there,’ she replies with a grin. ‘But you take my point.’
‘Oh, I take your point,’ I say with a laugh. ‘Maybe give things a go with your inside voice, before you make them public record.’
JJ goes over to the window for another peek.
‘Shit, he’s here, act natural,’ she says.
We dive towards the sofa. I grab a coffee table book, open it up in the middle, and the two of us pretend to be deeply engrossed in it.
Jake comes in and dumps the logs down by the fire. He’s still got his shirt off and his muscles look even better up close. Even his abs have pecs, I swear.
He gives us a smile – maybe a bit of a laugh.
‘Oh, you’re finished?’ I say casually. ‘We were just brushing up on our…’
I look down at the book I’m holding. It’s a guide to skinning animals. Do you know what, I’ll leave that there.
‘I’m going for a shower,’ he says.
‘Okay, no worries,’ I reply.
He heads upstairs.
‘He’s a walking thirst trap,’ JJ says quietly. ‘You’ve landed on your feet, haven’t you?’
‘Only fictionally,’ I remind her.
‘Are you going to share a bed with him?’ she asks.
‘He said he’ll sleep on the floor,’ I whisper.
‘Christ, that would only make me want him more,’ she says.
I can’t help but laugh.
‘I’m so glad I’m here,’ she tells me. ‘I’ve got all my work stuff with me – including my favourite client. I’d never leave you to deal with this alone.’
‘Well, thank you.’
‘You’re welcome,’ she replies. ‘For this, and the other thing.’
‘The other thing?’ I check.
‘For setting you up with a hottie like Jake,’ she replies. ‘You would have bottled it.’
‘Any normal person would have bottled it,’ I say.
‘Maybe,’ she replies. ‘As I said, you’re welcome.’
I smile. There really is no way I would have spoken to Jake again if it weren’t for her.
I would have gone into hiding until my viral fame died down.
I probably would have gone to my parents’ house – incidentally, I have called them, to say JJ is doing some weird marketing and not to believe anything they see online. They laughed. They know JJ well.
Instead, I’m using it to my advantage – allegedly. So far, all it’s got me is the chance to perv over a cowboy. Not that I’m complaining.