Chapter Sixteen A Missing Lady
Chapter Sixteen
A Missing Lady
Evander made his way down toward supper in a stupor.
He had not thought that reading those letters again would elicit such a strong, emotional response, and yet now he just could not settle his mind. He sat in his seat at the table. Waiting.
The waiting gave him too much time to think.
The letters sat heavier in his mind than they had any right to.
He could still see his brother’s hand upon the page, the familiar looping scrawl that at one point in his life had meant nothing but mischief or shared secrets.
Now, it was something that only brought him heartache.
Before he had met Alice, he had believed that if he left those letters folded away, then they had no way of hurting him and no way of affecting the people around him.
He had not thought that they would hurt someone he was close to.
Yet, here he was, undone by paper and ink.
He drummed his fingers against the table, forcing his gaze to the door of the dining hall.
She was still not here yet. Some part of him almost seemed to believe that she might appear through his sheer force of will if he watched the door.
The candles were burning lower. The servants were exchanging concerned glances, and Evander had to try and pretend that he had not noticed them.
And he waited.
And he waited…
She is only late. She is somewhere in the keep. Perhaps she has decided that I do not deserve her presence at supper tonight.
Even as he thought that, though, he could not stop the coil of unease tightening in his gut.
“Molly,” he said as one of the servants he knew Alice had been with earlier passed. “Has my wife had her supper in her chambers?”
“Nae, m’Laird,” the maid said, shaking her head. “I was about tae ask Catriona if she was aware of where the lady was.”
“Ye dinnae ken where Alice is?” he asked, standing up.
“Nae, m’Laird,” Molly said, shaking her head. Evander’s stomach dropped but he nodded.
“I see,” he said. “I will look for her.”
Before Molly could speak any more, Evander was already storming up the stairs toward Alice’s chambers. He needed to see she was not there for himself.
Maybe she had been out and just came back…
Pushing open the door to her chambers, Evander walked around the room.
The one his wife had been made to sleep in alone each night.
The bed was pristine. There was no note on the desk.
The window was closed. Her clothes were still in the wardrobe.
He looked around frantically, his heart thundering in his chest. He burst out of her chambers, nearly ripping the door off its hinges.
For one wild moment, his mind drifted to the letters.
The last time he had truly cared for someone, they had left him. His blood ran cold.
Not again. Not now. Not her.
He had to shake the thought from his mind and force his boots to march down the corridor so his mind could not carry him to darker thoughts.
The library?
Not there.
The sitting room?
Empty.
The kitchens?
He burst in, startling Catriona so badly she nearly dropped a hot tray of food.
He pushed out toward the parapets. Some foolish, desperate part of him needed to prove that he could not will Alice into existence by going to higher, by seeing more land. He looked out around the fields and lands.
She was not there either.
By the time he reached the servants’ quarters, his shirt was clinging to his back, damp, and his hands would not stop trembling.
“M’Laird?” Siobhan the maid asked. “What are ye doin’ here?”
“I am lookin’ fer my wife,” he said gruffly.
“In the servants’ quarters?” Siobhan asked.
“She was friends with ye,” he said, folding his arms.
“Be that as it may,” the maid said. “She is nae here.”
“I can see that,” he growled, turning to leave the room.
“Where are ye goin’ now?” the maid called after him.
“The stables!” he shouted.
As he approached the stableyard, he already knew she was not there.
Worse still, her horse was gone. His heart was thudding against his ribs so hard he was certain the organ would burst from his chest. As he inspected the empty stall, he felt his hands starting to shake and his breathing getting harder.
She is nae here. Where is she? Where is my wife?!
“Evander,” Keith said, suddenly at the door of the stables. “Why is it that I have had several people askin’ me why the laird has lost his mind?”
“I have done nae such thing,” Evander scoffed. “But ye are the person I need. Ye need tae ride out with yer men. My wife is missin’.”
“Is she?” Keith asked, yawning.
“She is!” Evander burst. “She is nae in her chambers, she is nae in the library, she is nae in the keep at all! And look, her horse is nae here either!”
“That doesnae make me believe she was kidnapped,” Keith said, his arms folded over his chest. “It makes me believe there was somewhere she wished tae go, and she did so.”
“Without an escort? Without me?” Evander asked, whirling around to face his friend. “Why are ye so calm?”
“Because I think I ken where she is,” Keith chuckled. “Now, if only ye could remember the promise ye had made tae her. Maybe then ye would ken where ye lovely wife be.”
“This is no time for—”
I promise. I will take ye to see the loch. Another time.
Evander stared at Keith for several seconds before running for his horse, saddling it at speed.
“I will skin ye if she is nae there or something has happened to her,” Evander said as he pulled himself onto the horse.
“Well, then, I shall make sure tae hide the tanning knife,” Keith laughed, stepping out of the way so Evander could race past him.
Evander pushed his horse hard down the lanes he knew Alice would have had to take to get to the loch. He rode through the villages, past multiple villagers crying out in surprise. Thundering toward the open fields that surrounded the loch, he could not stop his mind from racing.
What if she is hurt? What if she was forced to leave? What if she has fallen into the loch?!
“Peggy!” a lilting laugh came from the direction of the loch.
His breath hitched as he heard her.
The water finally came into view, sparkling in the moonlight, overwhelming his sight. But when he blinked them away, he could see her. She was beaming, her blonde hair shining with ethereal light. She was smiling and laughing, her bright eyes sparkling more than the water.
“Alice!” he cried out as he pulled on the reins of his horse. She looked up, startled as Calum snorted and slid to a halt on the wet grass, sending mud and grass seed up around them. Her eyes met Evander’s and she felt that familiar heat rising in her cheeks.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, her breath hitching.
“What am I doin’ here? What are ye doin’ here?” Evander asked, sliding off his horse and landing hard on the sodden ground. “Did ye nae think I would go mad lookin’ for ye?”
“Why would you?” Alice asked, stepping back from him.
“Of course I did!” he shouted. “Ye are my wife! Ye shouldnae go out without someone! Ye could have been hurt! Or worse!”
“But I wasn’t!” she shouted back at him. His eyes widened, seeing the ferocity that had bloomed in her. He knew he had likely been the one to plant it there. He reached forward, grabbing her wrist, examining her arms and hands. “What are you doing?”
“I am makin’ sure ye are actually fine,” he grumbled, inspecting her hands. She pulled her hand away, and in response he grabbed her face, looking between her eyes, her cheeks, her nose, her mouth.
Evander felt himself melt before he pulled her tightly into his arms, burying his head in her neck.
“Ye are unharmed,” he whispered into her neck.
“Let go of me,” Alice said, trying to pull back from him.
“Why would I let go of ye when I was so worried?” he asked, pulling back to look at her. The confusion was written over her face and deep into her eyes.
“Because you don’t care about me! You do not want anything to do with me,” Alice said, her eyes searching his face.
“What has made ye believe that?” he asked and she scoffed.
“I have done everything I ken how tae do,” he said, his voice cracking on the words. “I have given ye a home. I have given ye my name. I have—”
“Given me your name, and taken away seemingly anything else I cared about,” she cut in.
“A home is not a marriage. A name is not a husband. I have slept alone in my chambers every night wonderin’ what it was I did wrong.
Wonderin’ why the man who for one night looked at me as if I were the only woman in Scotland now cannae bare to look at me at all! ”
“That is nae true,” he said, stepping forward. “Ye were the one tae retreat from me.”
“Really?” she asked as she stepped closer. “Tell me, then. Look me in the eyes and tell me why you have been avoiding me.”
He opened and closed his mouth. The truth sat heavily in his chest, right under his throat, too heavy for him to lift.
“That is what I thought,” she whispered.
“I ran out here because I was scared ye were harmed,” he said. “I clearly care for ye.”
“No,” Alice said firmly. “You do this. You will love me for a few moments, and then you will hurt me. I have had it!”
She managed to push her arms between them, pushing hard to break the embrace.
“I…” Evander started. “Can ye nae see I have been yearnin’ for ye since we met?”
“That matters not when you then tell me that sleeping with me was a mistake,” she said, folding her arms. He winced, letting out a sigh as he remembered that day. He had tried to remove it from his memory.
“I could have been gentler—”
“You could have not said it at all,” she said.
“I said what I needed tae tae protect ye!” he shouted.
“No,” Alice scoffed. “You said what you needed to to push me away. You only want me on your terms. You do not wish to love me, you just wish to have me, like I am some kind of shiny toy.”
“I want tae love ye, Gods I do!” he shouted, reaching for her hand, but she stepped backward.
“Stop lying,” she hissed.