Chapter 22
Chelsea hung up the phone. That was the fifth time in several days Sydney had called and insisted she take the pregnancy test. “Eating right isn’t enough, Chelsea. What if you’re not pregnant? What if it’s something else? Take the damn test.”
She was right, of course. It wasn’t fair to the baby, if there was one, to ignore its needs.
If she was pregnant, she’d just deal with it.
She’d hoped she’d have heard from her lawyer by now that Jagger had signed the papers.
Actually, she’d hoped Jagger might show up and sweep her off her feet.
Idiot. The lawyer said he’d follow up in the next day or so.
In the meantime, she’d take the pregnancy test. She’d left the test in her bedroom bathroom, so she made her way to the stairs.
A knock on the door interrupted her plans.
Chelsea opened the door and her heart stopped.
Jagger looked as handsome as ever, even with dark circles under his eyes.
Hope rose, but she pushed it down. He should have gotten the divorce papers and all he had to do was sign.
Unless he was planning to take her to court.
Maybe he was going to ask for his money back.
Her stomach pitched at the idea. How would she ever get the money?
“I want to talk to you about this.” He lifted a manila envelope that had the return address of her attorney.
She nodded and opened the door to let him in, even as fear gripped her. She knew firsthand the lengths he’d go to in order to get what he wanted, and she’d never be able to compete with him. If he wanted his money back, the only thing she could give him was her house.
“Are you all right?” He stepped into the house. “You don’t look well.”
“I’m fine.” She wasn’t sure how she managed to get those words out. “Do you want something to drink? I’ve got lemonade or sweet tea.” The thought of both made her stomach churn.
He studied her for a moment before declining. She motioned him into the living area.
“Jagger, thank you again for all this work on the house.” What she wanted to say was how much she loved him. Except they were there to talk about divorce, so what was the use?
“It turned out nice.” His voice was tight and she wondered if he regretted doing it.
She motioned for him to sit. He selected a chair. She sat on the couch, wanting to lie down, but she managed to stay upright.
“Is this what you want?” He waved the envelope and then tossed it on the coffee table in front of her.
She looked at the envelope and then to him. It was a strange question, considering what he’d said to her the last time they were together.
“It’s what we agreed would happen.”
“That’s not what I asked.” His eyes flamed with anger as he asked again. “Is this what you want?”
Chelsea closed her eyes, hoping that by not looking at him, she could make heads or tails of why he was so mad about the divorce. “You told me to go.” She opened her eyes.
He just looked at her for a moment and then he raked his hands over his face. He sat back, turning to look out the window as if he was gathering his thoughts. Finally he turned back to her. “I was angry and took it out on you.”
Her heart did that little jump again, almost allowing hope to enter. She clamped down on it. She was already broken by the loss. She couldn’t hope again only to have her heart broken. “I betrayed you.”
He gave a curt nod. “If you hadn’t, I’d be on the run or in jail. I see that now.”
“Are you able to see Kaden?”
“I gave Tanya the house and have been staying in the guest cottage. I get to spend time with him every day. She’s...she’s been great. You were right about that too.”
There was a part of Chelsea that wondered if maybe Jagger and Tanya shouldn’t get together. They both wanted Kaden and could make a happy family. “I’m glad you could work it out. He’s still in your life. You must be happy about that.”
“Yeah well…you’d think so, wouldn’t you?” He looked at her this time not with anger or bitterness, but with such sadness. “So why am I miserable?”
Chelsea swallowed. “I don’t know.” Her words came out on a squeak.
“I’ll tell you why.” He stood from his chair and sat on the coffee table in front of her. “It’s because of you.”
Chelsea stared at him blankly. She wished he’d get to the point of the visit because she was tired of trying to decipher it.
“I don’t want this.” He picked up the envelope and waved it at her again.
“You don’t?” This time she wasn’t able to completely push away the hope that filled her heart.
“I’ve been a jerk and a fool when it comes to you, but I’m also selfish enough to go after you even though I don’t deserve you.”
Chelsea didn’t know how to respond. It sounded like he still wanted her.
“I’m a little dense about these things because I’m new at them. What do I know about love or making relationships work? Nothing. What I do know is that something is dying inside me and it feels like you’re the only one who can stop it. Is that love?”
She inhaled deeply but was still unable to respond.
He stood and paced the room. “It has to be.” He stopped and looked on her. “I know we went at this backward. It’s supposed to be first love and then marriage. But maybe that is how it happened, because I think I loved you the moment I saw you at Mitch and Sydney’s wedding.”
Chelsea closed her eyes, savoring the warmth and life that filled her chest cavity. He loved her. Or thought he did. Yet, there was so much more to talk about.
“I get that I hurt you and you probably want nothing to do with me—”
“Jagger—”
“Please, let me finish. I want to get this out.” He sat on the coffee table again.
“What I want is to tear this up and for you to come home to the cottage with me or I’ll move here.
The other option is that I sign this, but you let me show you I can be a man worthy of your love and we get married again, when you feel I’ve proven it to you. ”
Tears streamed down her face, but she was too stunned to wipe them.
“Please tell me those are happy tears, because I don’t want to even speak option three out loud.” He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket. In a tender, sweet gesture, he wiped her tears before handing it to her. “Tell me you can work with option one or two. Preferably number one.”
She wanted option one and to throw herself in his arms, but it wasn’t time for that. Not yet. She gathered herself together. “Before I answer, there is something I need to tell you.”
He took a sharp intake of breath, as if bracing himself. She hoped what she was about tell him wasn’t going to be taken badly.
She bit her lower lip as she gathered her courage. “There’s a possibility that I’m...pregnant.”
He blinked, which was his only response. Had he heard her? Then his eyes studied her, as if he was trying to figure out what she was telling him. “Would it be mine?” His voice was hopeful.
She jerked back in surprise. “Yes, Jagger, who else’s would it be?”
He shook his head. “Yes, of course, I’m sorry. It’s just that your tone sounded negative, and I’m not seeing the downside, unless you don’t love me too. Why would you telling me this make you nervous?” Then he stopped and his brilliant blue eyes darkened. “You weren’t going to tell me, were you?”
“I don’t have anything to tell right now.
I was going to take a test, and if it was positive, I would have told you.
Of course, I would. I just...you made it sound like you didn’t want kids.
To risk the whole custody thing again. I was afraid you’d think I did it on purpose. That I lied about being on the pill.”
He was shaking his head before she finished. “I know you wouldn’t have lied about that.” His brows furrowed. “I guess that would put us in the one percent.” Then he smiled. “I didn’t think I wanted my own children, but that was before I realized I love you.”
There it was again. He loved her.
“What I haven’t heard, Chels, is how you feel about me. What are you going to do if you are pregnant?”
“Remember how I fought so hard to keep our relationship platonic, businesslike?”
He nodded, and she saw dread fill his eyes.
“I did that because I knew doing all the things married people do wouldn’t be for fun, like an affair.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my feelings from being real.
I didn’t want to come to the end and discover it really was all a farce.
I’ve always been attracted to you, Jagger.
Every woman is. But when I saw you with Kaden, when I got to know you deep inside, I couldn’t help but love you.
It was difficult because I couldn’t tell what was real and what was fake between us sometimes. ”
His head dropped and when he looked up, his blue eyes were filled with tears. “You’re the only one who ever really saw me.” He reached over to pick up the envelope. “Can we tear this up, Chelsea?”
She smiled. “Yes.”
He tore it up and tossed each half to the side.
Then he reached for her, pulling her into his arms, and wrapping her in his love.
His kiss was tender, thorough, and filled with such love she nearly wept.
When he pulled away, he pushed the red tendrils of her hair away from her face.
“Is there a reason you’ve been waiting on this pregnancy thing? ”
“I didn’t realize it until now, but yes.”
“Will you tell me?”
She snuggled into his arms and looked into his face. “I was hoping you’d come here and tell me you loved me and wanted to be with me.”
His expression showed confusion. “What if I didn’t?”
“I’d have told you, and you would have probably insisted we tear up the divorce papers.”
“I don’t get the dif—” He stopped. His expression turned sympathetic. “You wanted to make sure I was here for you and not just because of a baby.”
She nodded. “I’d finally decided I couldn’t wait any longer. I was just getting ready to take the test when you showed up.”
His eyes lifted, and a brilliant smile spread across his face. “Can you take it now?”
She nodded, blissfully happy. She stood, taking his hand to lead him upstairs to her bathroom, where she’d left the test.
“If you are pregnant, when do you think it happened?”
“I was thinking it was the afternoon we spent here.”
He tugged her, pulling her to him. His eyes filled with love and awe. “The first time I ever really made love.”
His words made her heart soar.
“No way any birth control could stop that kind of love from creating life.”
She nearly swooned. “You’re a poet.”
He gave her a quick kiss and then urged her forward. He was as eager as she was to learn about their parental status.
She entered the bathroom, picking up the box and rereading the directions. “You’ll need to wait out there while I go.” She started to close the door on him.
“Wait.” He pressed a palm to the door to keep it from closing. “What if you’re not pregnant?”
At that moment, she realized how badly she wanted to be pregnant.
His hand cupped her face. “If you’re not, we’ll just dedicate ourselves to making a baby.”
She grinned. “So if it’s negative, we’ll go to bed?”
“Ah, honey, we’re going to bed either way.” The wicked gleam in his eyes heated her body. Then his smile faltered. “Unless it will be bad for the baby.”
She shook her head. “No, it won’t be bad for the baby.”
His smile returned. “Well, then. Go take care of business.”
She shut the door, her gaze holding his until the crack in the door no longer allowed her to see him.
Jagger paced the room. He felt high. Not drug high, but euphoric.
He’d showed up that day hoping to win Chelsea back and the fact that he’d succeeded made him feel over the moon.
But a baby. He hadn’t been expecting that.
The idea of it...it blew his mind. He tried to temper his excitement to avoid disappointment.
It wasn’t easy. The thought of a baby, created with Chelsea, growing inside her, was like a dream come true. A dream he didn’t even know he wanted.
When the door opened, he swung around. “Well?”
“It takes a few minutes.” She set the box with the pregnancy stick on the side table next to her bed.
Unable to keep from touching her, he took her hand and pulled her to him. He sat on the edge of the bed, tugging her onto his lap. Together they watched the little window.
“Chelsea?”
“Hmm.” She turned to him, her brown eyes filled with love. He knew he didn’t deserve it, but he vowed to work every day to earn it.
“I think we should get married.”
Her smile made his heart swell until he thought it might burst from his chest. “We’re already married.”
“A real wedding.”
“Wasn’t ours real?”
“It was legal, but I want to do it all over. A wedding where the vows are true. Where I can say in truth how much I love you.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I’d like that.”
“And new rings. Not an engagement ring, but a wedding band. You can keep this one, for now. I want everything this time to be genuine. Not because of a baby, either. We do this no matter what that stick says. Because I love you.”
She nodded. “I love you, Jagger.”
Her words swept over and through him like a comforting blanket. Pushing the bitterness and fear away, leaving only what was important. His love for her.
She kissed him. “Should we check now?”
He took a breath and nodded. She reached for the pregnancy stick and together they read the results. Then they looked at each other.
“You’re going to be a daddy.”
He thought it wasn’t possible to be happier than he’d been the second before he saw that blue plus symbol. He pulled her to him, cradling her, his hand stroking her belly, hoping she knew she was the most important thing in his life. “Thank you.”
“Thank you?” She was laughing, giddy with excitement.
“Thank you for giving me all this.”
“You deserve this, Jagger. All of it. You’re a good man.” Then her eyes turned feral and her smile seductive as she pushed him back. “My hormones are raging.”
He was gentle when he rolled her, bringing their bodies into perfect alignment. “I can help you with that.”