Chapter 21
Chelsea let her friends in the house and then resumed her spot on the couch.
She only left it to get food and take care of nature.
She slept there, because her own bed reminded her of that perfect afternoon with Jagger.
She showered, but that was about as far as her personal care went.
She knew she looked it too, in an old pair of sweats and an army shirt of her brothers, and her hair looking like it had been combed with an eggbeater.
Over the last few weeks, her depression had taken on a life of its own. She had no energy. At times, she' felt physically ill. All she wanted to do was sleep.
“You look terrible.” Lexie entered the living area with Sydney following her.
“Thanks.”
Lexie planted her hands on her hips and gave her a, “get your lazy ass up” look. “Have you talked to him?”
Chelsea shook her head. Why would she talk to Jagger? He’d tossed her out. She expected divorce papers to arrive any day. She couldn’t figure why they hadn’t come yet. It had been two weeks since he’d kicked her out of his house and his life.
Sydney sat on the coffee table in front of Chelsea. “We’re worried about you, honey. Mitch is beside himself.”
“I just need time.”
“For what?” Lexie sat next to Sydney on the coffee table. “Because, as far as I can see, you have way too much time. This is not the Chelsea Beemer I know.”
Chelsea wanted to pull her blanket over her head but it wouldn’t do any good.
“Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll take you to lunch.” Sydney patted her arm.
Chelsea shook her head. “I don’t feel like it.”
“Have you been eating?” Sydney’s doctor eyes inventoried Chelsea. “You do look like you’ve lost weight.”
“I’m okay. I just don’t feel well.”
“Like sad don’t feel well, or sick don’t feel well?” Sydney reached out to touch Chelsea’s forehead.
She pushed Sydney’s hand away. “A little of both.”
Sydney sat back, her brows pulled together in thought. “Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”
Chelsea shook her head. “No.”
Lexie snorted. “Seriously? You were married to Jagger Talbot and you never had sex with him?”
Chelsea couldn’t decide if Lexie’s doubt came from her belief that no one would be able to keep their hands off him or that Jagger couldn’t go that long without sex.
“We did, but most the time we used condoms, and I’m on the pill.”
“You know it’s not foolproof.”
Sydney shot Lexie a look that said, “you’re not helping,” or maybe it was, “back off.” Not that Lexie would. Then Sydney sighed. “Lexie’s right. No birth control is foolproof. Did you miss any pills?”
“No. I took as directed.”
“It’s still possible. It does happen sometimes.”
“It worked when I was in college.”
Sydney shrugged. “We don’t completely know why it doesn’t work all the time. Changes in hormones, misuse, interactions with medications.”
Chelsea’s senses were overwhelmed. She was barely coping with the loss of Jagger, with all that had happened. How could she be pregnant too? “They should put a warning on the label.”
Sydney’s eyes were sympathetic. “They do.”
Chelsea’s eyes closed, wishing it could block out the world.
“Maybe it’s something else?” Lexie took Chelsea’s hand.
“It probably is something else. Depression can have physical symptoms too. To be sure, you should take a pregnancy test.”
Chelsea rubbed her free hand over her face. Just what she needed. The thought of going into a custody battle with Jagger over a baby was more than she could handle.
“Chels?” Lexie squeezed her hand. “Are you worried about Jagger?”
Chelsea nodded.
“He won’t want it?”
“No. He’ll want it, but he doesn’t want me.” Chelsea blew out a breath and then looked to Lexie and Sydney. “I know firsthand what he’ll do to have custody. I...don’t think I can fight that fight.” The thought of it sickened her.
Lexie’s eyes narrowed. “First, it’s not the same. You’ll be a terrific mom, and he knows it. Maybe, if there is a baby, he’ll finally realize what he’s lost.”
Chelsea bit her lip to keep from sobbing. Jagger was just the guy to do what was right. But that wasn’t what she wanted. “I don’t want him back because of a baby. I’ve already married him once for a child’s sake. I want to marry for love. I want what you two have. Someone who will love me first.”
“Jagger didn’t love you?” Lexie cocked her head to the side.
It was finally time to tell the truth. “We married to help him with Kaden’s case. In return, he helped me keep the house.”
The disappointment she’d expected crossed Lexie’s face, but then she softened. “But in the end...you loved him.”
Chelsea nodded.
“And he loves you. At least that’s what Mitch says.
If you love each other, then you both deserve to be happy.
” Sydney patted Chelsea’s knee. “But first, you need to find out what’s going on.
It could just be depression, which should be treated as well.
However, it could be pregnancy or another medical issue. ”
“She’s right, Chels. You need to get your health back and then you can get Jagger back, if that’s still what you want when you feel better.”
If? There was one thing Chelsea knew for certain. Despite everything, she still loved him. She was sure she’d never love another like him again. Which made her decision to finish things with him, once and for all, even more difficult.
“I’m going to call a lawyer tomorrow.”
There were those expressions again. Pity. Worry. Concern.
“Maybe you shouldn’t decide—”
“No.” Chelsea waved Sydney’s remark away with her hand. “It’s time to move on. He made his feelings clear and hasn’t done anything to suggest they’ve changed. If I’m pregnant, we’ll deal with that. But I don’t want him just because of a baby.”
“Have you tried to talk to him?” Lexie asked.
She hadn’t, but she knew he wouldn’t speak to her.
There was no way a man who held her in such disdain, who believed she’d committed the ultimate betrayal, would give her the time of day.
One thing she’d learned in her few months with Jagger was that he was unforgiving and willing to do anything to protect what he believed was his.
Chelsea followed through, calling a lawyer and making an appointment to meet with him the following day.
She brought the prenup papers but told the lawyer she didn’t want Jagger’s money.
He looked at her funny, as if she was an idiot.
But all she wanted was to get out of the marriage. She could move on and he could too.
She wondered how he was doing. She’d heard through Mitch that he’d let Tanya live in the main house so Kaden’s life wouldn’t be disrupted.
Jagger was in the guest cottage and apparently seeing Kaden nearly every day.
Why he didn’t see how great that was, she didn’t know.
Neither did Mitch, who insisted that eventually Jagger would realize his malaise was due to the loss of Chelsea. She didn’t believe him.
After seeing the attorney, who promised to deliver the papers to Jagger, she bought a pregnancy test but couldn’t bring herself to take it. She’d eat right and take care of herself in the meantime. Right now there was too much going on to add that knowledge to the stack weighing her down.
Once her errands were done, she headed back home. To her couch.
Jagger pushed Kaden in the tire swing.
“Higher.”
“You’ll get stuck in the tree if you go higher.”
Kaden laughed.
“Here are cookies.” Miss Z called from the terrace.
“I want cookies.”
Jagger stopped the swing and the two of them ambled to the terrace and sat in the wicker chairs.
“I wish we had Miss Chelsea’s snickerdoodles.”
“I do too.” Miss Z gave Jagger a chastising glare. How was he now the bad guy?
“Is Miss Chelsea coming back? I miss her.” Kaden grabbed a cookie.
“I don’t think so.”
“Why? Don’t you like her anymore?”
Jagger took a deep breath. He didn’t know how to answer. His feelings for Chelsea were a messed-up jumble that he couldn’t sort out.
“You were mean to her too.”
Jagger closed his eyes, trying to hide from his guilt that Kaden had seen how vile he’d been to Chelsea. “I was angry.”
“You should say you’re sorry. Miss Chelsea says when you’re mean, you say you’re sorry. But you have to mean it.”
“Jagger?” Tanya appeared on the terrace.
“Yeah.”
“This came for you.” She handed him a manila envelope. He had a profound sense of déjà vu.
The return address was a lawyer in Charlotte Tavern. “Kaden was having some cookies. Why don’t you join him? I need to run back to the cottage.”
“Will you be back later? We can go swimming,” Kaden asked.
For a moment, Jagger watched Kaden. Although the routine had changed, Kaden had adapted very well. Only Jagger was still struggling with the changes. He rubbed the top of Kaden’s head. “We’ll see.” Then he headed to the cottage.
He sat on the chair, not wanting to open the envelope and not sure why.
If he was right, Chelsea had done what he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do.
They’d agreed to a marriage of convenience.
The terms of the deal had been met, and now it was time to terminate the relationship.
So why couldn’t he open the envelope? Odds were he simply needed to sign the paper.
He’d agreed to the prenup. He doubted she was asking for anything extra.
In fact, knowing her, she’d refuse the money.
He swore and tore open the envelope. Reading the divorce papers, Jagger’s heart tore in two.