Chapter 39 Lexie
“Dad,” Theo says the word with a sharp, acidic bite, as he steps in front of me. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
When Theo said he hated his father, he wasn’t kidding. You could cut the tension between them with a knife.
“Your mother and I’ve been trying to reach you for some time,” Dr. Astor says, flatly. “Since you failed to respond, I was worried about your safety. I figured an in-home visit was the best way to gauge your well-being.”
Theo still stands between us, and I swear he widens his stance, blocking my view of his father even more.
I couldn’t think my day could get any worse, but now I’m standing in a lobby with Dr. Astor, one of the last men I want to see, praying to Christ that he doesn’t remember me.
“Gemma.”
The voice drags me back to being a na?ve and impressionable young student, desperate to make him proud. But now I know better. I still shrink into myself a little and raise my hand in a half-hearted wave. “Oh, hi, Dr. Astor.”
“We’re leaving,” Theo says, and takes one step toward the door when Dr. Astor moves closer.
“No, no, please stay,” Dr. Astor says, setting his hands in his jacket pocket. “I’ve traveled all this way to see you.”
“That’s your fucking problem, not mine.”
Jesus Christ.
The man is not backing down. Maybe Theo was just a bratty, angry teenager. Maybe this is simply how his family talks to one another. Or maybe Dr. Astor really is as arrogant and narcissistic as Theo said and feeds off this kind of energy.
Even so, confrontation has always made me uncomfortable. “Theo, stop,” I whisper under my breath, and the moment the words leave me, I know it’s a mistake.
Dr. Astor’s smile changes. Something a tad darker, more sinister, more knowing.
He can smell it on me. Did his home security alert him to our visit that one time?
Did he watch the footage of me screaming and moaning as his son’s cock ravaged me in his childhood bedroom?
My cheeks feel like they’ve turned the color of my hair.
“Gemma, my goodness, it’s been so many years since I’ve seen you.” He pauses. “I hope you’re doing well?”
“Don’t.” Theo pushes these words through a clenched jaw.
“Don’t what, Theo?” Dr. Astor turns his gaze towards Theo. “Don’t ask how one of my former student’s is doing?” He shifts his gaze back to me, and I feel like I’m going to choke. “I must apologize for my son’s behavior, Gemma. Looks like those sleepless nights are finally catching up to him.”
“It’s, ah, fine.” I need to get the hell out of here. I haven’t even processed what happened upstairs in Theo’s apartment, and I can only dissociate so much. “Planning a wedding is stressful. It’s totally understandable to be… on edge.”
Dr. Astor’s quiet chuckle fills me with dread. “Well, I’m so glad you were able to reconnect with your friend, Theo. You must have been thrilled to see Gemma after all these years and to have her help plan the wedding.”
Friend? Theo has never once said he remembers me.
Maybe Dr. Astor is mistaken. Maybe he’s testing me.
“Oh, ah, no, I mean, working with your son has been… lovely,” I say, silently begging him not to read my face.
“Yes, we were at school together, but Theo and I didn’t really know each other then.
You don’t always remember everyone you might have crossed paths with, and I don’t blame Theo for not recognizing me. ”
Dr. Astor cocks his head and the corner of his lip twitches in the faintest of smiles.
“Didn’t remember you? I find that extremely hard to believe.
” I glance at Theo, who seems nearly frozen in place.
“Funny how I saw more of Theo during the semesters you worked for me than I did throughout his entire schooling. In fact, if memory serves, you spoke quite a bit about Gemma after the unfortunate incident.”
My gut coils into a hard rock at those words. No… this doesn’t make sense… I don’t understand. Theo was interested in me? At school?
“I do believe my boy was quite smitten back then, not that he’d ever admit it,” Dr. Astor says, with a sliver of a twinkle in his eyes. “But a father always knows.”
“What are you doing?” Theo snaps at his father, then tugs on my arm. “Let’s go.”
Dr. Astor’s gaze locks on the motion, and he inches closer. “Oh, please indulge me for at least a few more minutes. I traveled all this way to check in on my son, but what a surprise my former student is here, with him, at his home.”
“Dad.” The words hold a sharp, heated warning.
The lobby is too hot. I grip my purse and debate about how quickly I can get out of this place. Whatever bullshit is happening between the two men, I want absolutely no part of it.
“You know, Gemma,” Dr. Astor says, “I thought about you so much over the years, and wondered if you ever sought help—”
“Dad.”
“I felt terrible after everything happened,” Dr. Astor continues. “You had such a bright future ahead of you.”
“Dad, stop.”
“I remember the way you talked about graduating early, moving on to graduate school and your dreams of opening your own practice… and now, it appears you plan weddings?”
“Enough!” Theo barks, but I barely register it over the thunder of my own heartbeat.
I’m not where I originally thought I’d be in my career, but goddammit I still made it.
I pulled myself out of the deepest despair and became a steady, good, reliable worker.
I was trusted with a high-profile wedding, and considered an essential enough employee that they want to keep me at the company during layoffs.
I stand a little straighter, rage simmering under my skin at the judgmental tone in Dr. Astor’s voice.
“Here I am, a psychologist that lectures all over the world, and yet I failed to recognize the classic signs of self-sabotage in my favorite student.”
No… no that’s not true. I didn’t do anything.
“Shut the fuck up.” Theo’s voice booms into the space. He grabs my hand and pulls. I want to shake him off, but my body’s immobile. “Lexie. We’re leaving. Now.”
Dr. Astor takes another step forward and focuses a hard gaze on Theo’s hand against mine. “I have to wonder if some of those unfortunate tendencies are still haunting you today.”
Theo drags me outside, and Dr. Astor casually follows a few steps behind like he’s on a Sunday stroll.
On the sidewalk, Theo’s dark, fiery gaze burns into his father.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Theo snarls, then turns his gaze to me.
“Do not listen to him, okay? This is what he does. He’s a sick bastard who loves to torture people. You block it out, you hear me?”
I shake my head as my brain flickers, fuzzy and hazed. Dr. Astor’s holding my shame up to the light, and he’s not wrong. Do I sabotage myself? Am I the reason to blame for everything that’s happened—now and then? Maybe I didn’t steal the tests at school, but did I somehow invite it anyway?
“Don’t do this, Lexie,” Theo begs, his frantic gaze searching my face. “Do not let him get inside your head.”
Dr. Astor crosses his arms, his face still so passive it makes me uneasy. “I see that years-long flame you carried for Gemma still burns bright, doesn’t it, son?”
None of this makes sense. Theo has never acknowledged our past, not once, not even when I confronted him about it.
After everything we’ve shared, he’s always seen me as Lexie, never Gemma.
His father is just saying shit to mess with my head, and it’s working.
Is he really this sadistic a bastard, though?
“No… that’s not true…” is all I can force out because my unfocused brain can’t grasp onto any other words.
“It’s truly unfortunate,” Dr. Astor continues, looking like he’s holding back a grin as his gaze flicks between me and Theo. “It seems you never learned how to rein in your impulsive tendencies after you stole those scores—”
“Fucking stop.”
“—and got expelled—”
“Dad, enough!”
“—if you’ve allowed yourself to get wrapped up with a man who will be married in a few short weeks.”
“Gemma didn’t fucking do it!” Theo yells so loud that it feels like the traffic stopped.
I see black spots. Did he just say I didn’t do it? Does he know? And… did Theo just call me Gemma? No… no, I’m dizzy. I could not have heard that right.
“How could you possibly know if she didn’t do it?” Dr. Astor says. “All the evidence pointed to her. The committee performed an investigation—”
“Because I fucking did it, okay?” Theo yells and reaches for me, but I pull away.
Oh my God… oh my God. I was right! Back then, Theo did this.
The man that I’ve given my body, my soul, these last few months, has lied to me the entire time.
This can’t be happening. Someone—anyone—please shake me awake from this nightmare and tell me it isn’t real.
My breaths turn shallow, tightening in my throat, and my feet go unsteady beneath me, and I lean on the wall for support.
Dr. Astor just stands there, saying nothing in response.
One sick moment passes, then another, before Theo breaks the silence.
“Oh my God… you knew.” Theo’s voice is barely above a whisper.
I’m stunned silent, but my legs tremble.
“You fucking knew I framed her, and you did nothing? You didn’t even fight for her? How could you just let her walk away?”
My hand clasps over my mouth.
A sick, satisfied grin spreads across Dr. Astor’s face. “As a father, sometimes we need to make difficult decisions for our children. It’s important that they learn lessons. And my son, you needed to learn a lesson. With Gemma. And Olivia.”
Theo inhales a sharp venomous breath.
Time seems to still as he shifts his gaze from Theo, to me, then back to Theo. “And the lesson is that even you, Theodore James Astor, do not always get to have everything you want.”
I decide I’ve heard enough and bolt down the sidewalk.