Chapter 44 Lexie
I stare at Annabelle’s assistant. I force out a sharp breath, fighting the surge of panic. If we have to delay the wedding, that’s fine, we’ll use the excuse of her hair and make-up overrunning. But I need to find her and make sure she’s okay.
I call her. It goes straight to voicemail. I send a text. No response. I’m about to call Sydney, who’s no doubt rushing around the courtyard trying to tick off all her jobs for today, when my phone pings with a message.
Annabelle: Can you meet me in the gazebo in the east-side property?
Annabelle: Please come alone
I bolt from the room, down the stairs, and make my way outside where the gazebo comes into view.
Annabelle sits alone on a bench, wrapped in a white robe, her hair twisted into large curlers. Her posture is still, her expression solemn—nothing like a typical bride on her wedding day.
I approach carefully. “Hey you,” I say, forcing a smile I don’t feel. “Congratulations on your big day.” It’s the first time we’ve spoken in person since she left for Italy.
Her smile is as forced at mine. “Not sure if congratulations is the right term.” She peeks under heavy, fake eyelashes with kind, gentle eyes. “How are you?”
Even now, when she should be putting herself first, she still cares enough to ask about me. It says everything about who Annabelle is. I sit next to her and stare at the stone waterfall in front of us. “Probably as good as you are.”
A long moment passes and she sighs. “This sucks.”
It sure does. She doesn’t want to marry Theo. Theo doesn’t want to marry her. I don’t know what I want, but it’s not this. And yet, here we are, each of us ending up with the person we’re not meant to be with, or alone.
This is totally uncharted territory for me. Brides are either freaking out and yelling at everyone who dares step in their path, calm and cool, or so giddy that I worry they dipped into the champagne early.
But Annabelle is straight-faced and dejected.
She tugs at the robe fabric by her knee and takes a sharp breath. “I just want to thank you for everything you did while I was in Italy. You took on so much, and I really, really appreciate it.”
My stomach turns into a knot.
She slides back on the black iron bench and stares at the waterfall. “Did Theo ever tell you how we first met?”
I dig my toe into the ground and sigh. “No.”
“It was kindergarten. He stole my favorite strawberry-scented pencil, and I punched him in the stomach. We’ve been inseparable ever since.”
Despite myself, a small grin forms. “Ouch.”
“Well, it was a good pencil, and he needed to be taught a lesson,” she says with a grin.
“We found out later our parents had the school put us in the same classrooms for years. They were really close friends, as much as… sociopathic-leaning people… can have friends. Since we were kids, they’d have dinner parties and constantly joked that someday Theo and I were going to get married. ”
“That’s a lot of pressure, huh?”
“So much pressure,” she says. “But it was fine, I guess, when we were younger. But after a while, it was no longer a joke. It was an expectation.”
My stomach knots tighter. Theo told me this, in his own way, but hearing it from a woman who sounds trapped, hits hard.
“Theo has this… thing. A savior complex, maybe? An obsessive need to protect. I think it’s partly why he chose to be a doctor.
” She pauses for a moment. “As kids, he saw so many similarities between his father and mine, and he latched onto it. The more time Theo and I spent together, the easier my father was on me, and it became this almost sick, twisted cycle. I’m no psychologist, but I think Theo felt helpless with his own dad, and protecting me from mine gave him back some power? I don’t know…”
Everything about this makes sense. Now that I know Theo and understand more about him and his father’s relationship, and witnessing his obvious love for Annabelle, it’s a textbook example of how under-protected people turn into overprotective ones.
I push my feet into the ground to give our bench a gentle swing.
“While I was in Italy, I had so much time to myself,” she says, taking a breath.
“I took long walks, I meditated, I painted, I breathed. Growing up the way that we did, I never felt like I could breathe, you know? Yes, I was there for Nonna, but I stayed so much longer than needed because I wasn’t ready to return to reality. ”
I keep swaying the bench, waiting for her to continue.
“Some families have parents who do everything for their kids,” she says. “And some families curate a life and expectation for their kids and use any means necessary to see it through. And that’s the life my parents built for me.”
She adjusts herself on the bench and sighs.
“I love Theo. I’ve loved Theo since I was six. I can’t imagine my life without him.”
My heart sinks. Maybe this isn’t going the way I thought…
“Theo’s loyal to a fault,” she says. “Honestly, sometimes it’s to his own detriment. Once he zeros in on someone, he’ll protect them no matter the cost.” She pauses—long enough that I glance at her, wondering if she’s finished.
Then she adds, “I think you should know how loyal Theo can be.”
Over the steady gurgle of the stone waterfall and the muted sounds of crew members moving behind the hedges, she tells me more—about Theo, about her family, about the cage they built around her.
“When they threatened to cut me off, I was scared of course, but I was also prepared for it. Because I didn’t want to marry Theo.
I was going to tell them no.” She swallows.
“And then Theo talked me out of it. He said he couldn’t stand by and watch me throw my life away. ” Her gaze drops to her hands.
“I think he was angry with himself for not having another solution. For not being able to save me like he promised he would. So, he agreed to marry me. To protect me. He sacrificed everything out of loyalty, and I let him. That was the most cowardly thing I’ve ever done, but it’s why I stayed in Italy so long.
Watching him destroy himself for me was killing me. ”
Tears spring to my eyes, but I blink them back.
“Do you love him?” she asks.
My chest seizes with the question. No. No… right? I don’t love Theo. I hate him. For years, I’ve hated him. It’s essentially been my baseline emotion as an adult.
Whatever this is, it’s just the fallout. The aftershock of the best sex of my life being ripped away from me, my body scrambling for meaning where there is none. I’m misreading the signals. That’s all this is.
But even as my mind fills with these thoughts, my heart aches, and I know I’m not being true to myself. “I… don’t know.”
“It’s a scary emotion. The vulnerability, the way it leaves you exposed. Honestly? Sometimes I think love is worse than fear.” She takes a breath. “Well, it’s obvious to me that he loves you.”
Does he? He’s never uttered those words to me before. But even if he thinks he loves me, I’m not sure he knows what love is. He hurt me. He lied to me. That’s not love.
Annabelle puts her hand on my arm. “Lexie… it’s always been you. Theo’s been in love with you since the day he met you. If I weren’t in the picture, I swear he would’ve claimed you the moment you crossed paths in the quad.”
My heart absolutely stops beating. The quad? What? When? “What are you talking about?”
“God, he used to never shut up about you,” she says with a laugh.
“But, things were complicated with us, with his dad… it was all so messy. And, I had no idea what happened back then with you in college and the expulsion until last week. Christ, that man makes some terrible decisions. But, I really do think what he did back then, he did for you.”
Everything is spinning. I rest my head in my hands.
“When he brought up the idea of using your company to plan the wedding, he begged me to pretend like I didn’t know anything about you. And I figured that was the least I could do since, you know, he was marrying me and all.”
Oh God, oh God. Okay…
“He never chose me over you. Please don’t ever think that.
” She starts moving her hand up and down on my arm in a comforting gesture.
“I need you to really hear me on this, Lexie, okay? He never chose me over you. He chose my happiness over his.” She pauses, letting it settle.
“He made the greater sacrifice in letting you go and keeping his promise to me. Does that make sense?” Her voice softens.
“You were always his first choice from the moment he saw you.”
My fragile, broken heart starts to stitch and balloon so quickly that I feel dizzy. I sit upright, staring at the trickling waterfall, and try to retain all the words. Theo chose me the first day he met me.
“Let me ask you again. Do you love him?”
I think I know. But it all hurts so much that I’m terrified if I say yes, it’s going to hurt worse than it does now. “Would it matter if I did?”
Annabelle turns all the way to face me and grabs my hand. “I think you need to find Theo and get clarity. Once you talk to him, maybe you’ll know what to do.”
With this, she rises from the bench, gives me a squeeze on the arm, and leaves me to think.
Right now, I’m faced with the proverbial sliding door moment. And I must decide if I step through it or not.