Chapter 47 Theo
After Justin leaves, I pace the room, thoughts ricocheting between Lexie and the courtyard where I’ll soon take vows that were never intended for Anna and me.
I don’t stop until a knock breaks the silence.
It’s probably Justin, returning to finally throw the punch I know he’s been itching to release. But when I open the door, I sigh.
Anna.
She’s in one of the dresses that Lexie tried on, her long dark hair pinned back, her make-up heavier than normal. She looks incredible.
But no amount of make-up can hide the look that’s mirrored on my own face—despair.
“You look beautiful.” A lump grows in my throat. I want to be strong for her, tell her that everything will be okay, but I’m too broken.
And clearly, so is she.
She tugs on my hand and guides me to the bed. After she smooths her dress underneath her and sits down, she pats the mattress, and I take a seat. “You know what I was thinking about today?”
I focus on the way she’s spinning her engagement ring, and sigh. “What’s that?”
“Do you remember the time when we were like, fourteen, maybe fifteen, and we stole that bottle of Scotch from my parents?”
Despite my mood, a chuckle escapes. “How could I forget? I’m not sure what made me sicker that night—your father screaming at me, or my inexperience with booze.
” Even with how much I drank that night, I remember most of the evening pretty clearly.
It was one of the million movie nights Anna and I enjoyed together as kids, but we were bored and restless and thought getting drunk for the first time sounded like a good idea.
“I remember thinking, your dad’s a billionaire.
Why’s he so mad? He can just buy another bottle. ”
“Right? Like how were we supposed to know it was a gift from a Prime Minister?” She grins. “But I specifically remember you taking the heat and telling my dad it was your idea to ransack his whiskey room, even though we both knew damn well I forced you into it.”
And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. “What made you think of that night?”
She shrugs. “I just keep going over all the moments in my life where you’ve been there for me.
From elementary school, when you tore into my bullies, to junior high, when you sat with me at lunch after those girls turned on me, to letting me snot cry on your shoulder over that stupid crush on an older boy… God, what was his name?”
“Nathan. And he was a dick.”
A soft smile spreads on her pale face. “Interesting how that guy ended up with a black eye the day after he told everyone we had sex even though we didn’t.”
“See my earlier comment,” I say.
She loops her arm in mine and drags her fingertips across my hand. “I’m really glad my first time was with you.”
My heart caves in as I kiss the top of her head. “Same.”
Another long silence fills the room. She leans her head against my shoulder, not caring if she messes up her hair. “And well, here we are getting married,” she says. “Because you’re doing what you do. Protecting me, as usual.”
I don’t know what to say. Of course, it’s true. I love Anna. I’ve loved her since I was six years old. For almost my entire life, I thought my sole purpose was to protect her. Somedays, knowing Anna was safe was the only thing that kept me going.
“When I was in Italy, Nonna and I talked about so many things,” she says. “She used to be a dancer, can you believe it?”
I chuckle. “No chance. She’s as graceful as a baby goat.”
“You’re such an asshole.” She digs her elbow into my ribs.
“But my grandfather didn’t want her to dance, so she stopped.
And to this day, she regrets it. She gave up everything for him.
” She lifts her head from my shoulder and sighs.
“God, the pressures our families put on us, huh? Your dad. My dad. My mom. We’ve compromised everything to make them happy.
And for what? Money? Approval? Out of fear? ”
My chest turns tight. Anna’s not wrong. As much as I despise my father, I still molded myself into the man he wanted me to be.
She picks at the fabric of her dress, a tell I know too well. She’s nervous, about to say something I’m not going to like. “I can’t do it anymore.”
Her words send a wave of dread through me. “Anna… no…”
She lifts herself off the bed and stands in front of me. I have the urge to wrap my arms around my best friend and rest my head on her stomach. I want her to tell me everything will be okay, that whatever we have to face, we have each other—and that’s all that matters.
Hands rest on my face, and she lifts my head to meet her eyes.
“I love you, Theo. I have always loved you. I cannot imagine my life without you. You are my person. You will always be my person.” She tugs on my tie as the blue in her eyes shimmers with unshed tears.
“And, I love you so fucking hard for what you’ve done for me.
But… I can’t do this to you. I cannot let you go through with this wedding. ”
No, no. She doesn’t know what she’s saying.
She’s panicking, second-guessing everything—and that’s okay.
But she absolutely cannot back out. I jump to my feet.
“Don’t do this,” I say, gripping her arms, holding her gaze as fiercely as I can.
“Listen to me. I’m not letting you do this. You’d… you’d be giving up everything.”
“I could say the same thing about you.” She clasps her hands over mine.
“All I have to lose is money, Theo. Just money. Being in Italy, getting away from the madness of my family, made me realize I’d rather live poor than live under their restraints.
But if you go through with this…” Her voice breaks.
“You’re giving up love.” The tears she’s been holding back finally break free and roll down her cheeks.
“I’ll recover. You forget I’m a Barlowe—I have connections.
But you… you’ve been in love with someone else all these years.
Years. And you stayed away because you thought you had to protect me, which you don’t, and because you convinced yourself you weren’t good enough.
” Her hands move back to my face, and they tighten.
“But you are. I’m telling you right now, you are enough. ”
I can’t take in the words. I hear them, but the steel wall I’ve built around myself refuses to allow Anna’s words to penetrate. She doesn’t know everything. If she did, she wouldn’t think this way. “I’m not a good person. The stuff I’ve done…”
She shakes her head. “What’s the phrase about glass stones?
Everyone’s done bad shit. But think of all the good you do.
With your patients, with the women your dad hurt, with me.
You’ve sacrificed everything for me.” She smiles weakly through watery tears, determination bright in her eyes.
“And I’m not letting you do it one second longer.
It’s my turn to protect you. Even if it means protecting you from yourself. ”
My pulse thuds inside my chest. “Anna, you can’t.”
“I can. And I will. No matter what you say, I’m leaving this room and telling my mom the wedding is off.
I should probably let Lexie’s boss know too.
Then I’m taking two bottles of the champagne, locking myself in the honeymoon suite we booked, eating greasy pizza and watching trashy movies, and I will be okay. ”
Is she really doing this? I’m searching her eyes, and deep down, I know there’s nothing I can say or do to change her mind.
“Go, be brave and tell Lexie everything,” she says. “And know that she deserves you as much as you deserve her.”
Everything in me balloons and fortifies—my love for Anna, my love for Lexie, the desperate need to reconcile my past with my future. “Do you think it’s too late?”
She gives me a sad smile and drops her hands from my face. “Honestly, I don’t know. But there’s only one way to find out.”
I pull Anna into my chest, my pulse racing. Is there still time? Will Anna be okay? Is Lexie gone forever? “Are you going to be okay?”
“I will be fine,” she says, her eyes rolling fondly at my overprotectiveness. “I feel like I’ve finally released myself from the golden restraints that have trapped me my entire life. I can finally breathe, fully, on my own.”
Are we actually doing this? I look at her one more time, search those Caribbean-blue eyes for any hesitation or fear or regret, but there’s nothing but relief. “God, I love you. Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. More than I’ve ever been.” Her smile fills her entire, sweet face. She lifts to her toes and kisses me on the cheek. “I love you, too.”
We stop and take in the moment. What will happen when we step out on the courtyard and tell her parents the wedding’s off? The fall-out, the threats, the clenched, controlled anger of a family who’s more worried about public persona than anything else.
But I’ll face this with Anna, by her side, for as long as it takes.
As far as Lexie is concerned… I have no fucking idea what I’m going to do.
For now, I glance back at my best friend, grab her hand, and kiss it. “You ready to do this?”
She nods, her smile brighter than I think I’ve ever seen. “Let’s do this.”