Chapter 2 #4
“I don’t think that’s a good reason to get engaged,” her mother said. “You have to want to be married to him.”
“He wants kids,” Felicity said in a flat voice, “soon. In the next couple of years.”
“Do you?” Dominique didn’t think she did. Felicity had never said she wanted children, even later.
“Not for a long time, like five years maybe. I told him that.”
“It sounds like he’s rushing things,” Dominique said, worried about her.
“Yes, he is,” Felicity said, thinking of the night before. “But I think I can slow him down.”
“Did he give you a ring, or was it a spur-of-the-moment thing?”
“He gave me his mother’s engagement ring,” she said, glancing at it on her hand, and she took it off and laid it on the table next to her. It was burning a hole in her finger. It was a souvenir of an ugly memory now.
“Well, just go at your own pace, be honest with him, and see how it goes. You don’t need to rush into anything,” Dominique said gently.
“And you think he’s the one?” Dominique asked.
She was unhappy to hear of the engagement, but Felicity was thirty-two years old and had the right to marry whomever she wanted, even if her mother thought it was a mistake and didn’t like him.
It pained her to think of Felicity marrying someone so uptight and pompous. She deserved a much nicer man.
“I think he’s the one,” Felicity said, sounding robotic and wanting to convince herself. “He says I am for him.”
“That’s no surprise. And his parents are okay with it?”
“I guess so if she gave him her engagement ring. We had dinner with them last night. They always give me the impression that they think he could do a lot better,” which was exactly how Dominique felt about him, and his parents.
“Just don’t marry him until you’re sure.
Engagements get broken all the time. I’m sorry to say that to you when you tell me your news, but nothing is irreversible except birth and death.
Anything else you can change your mind about.
Just remember that. You’ll learn more about him when you’re engaged,” Dominique said wisely.
“Pay attention to it, and how you feel.”
“Thank you, Mom. It’s a big step. I wasn’t expecting it. It came out of left field,” and so did the rape afterward, which was an even bigger surprise.
“Well, best wishes to the happy couple,” Dominique said, trying to be gracious about it, which made Felicity feel even worse.
She knew her mother didn’t like him, and all the reasons why.
If she knew about the rape, she would have hated him, but Felicity was never going to tell anyone about it.
She was too ashamed. It fell into the category of relationship rape, and there was no excuse for it.
And what if he did that when they were married?
She hoped she would have the guts to walk out on him if he did.
But this time, she was willing to forgive.
Once. And never again. Now she was engaged, with a ring she knew would make her feel sick whenever she wore it.
It was a hell of a way to start an engagement and plan a wedding and a marriage. But she was in no hurry to marry.
She went back to bed after she called her mother, and fell asleep, buried deep under her covers.
Taylor woke her up when he came home with an armful of red roses for her.
They reminded her of the blood on her dress as she thanked him.
He had brought champagne, which she didn’t drink, and he wanted to make love to her, and she said she didn’t feel up to it.
She didn’t know how long it would take to get over what he had done.
She had put the ring back in the box, and he saw that she wasn’t wearing it.
It was no mystery why. He got into bed and held her, and she cried.
He knew it would take time to repair the damage he’d done.
She was his fiancée now. He had told his mother and lied and said she loved the ring.
His mother was delighted to hear it, and said what a lucky girl she was to have him. Taylor thought so too.
“My mother wants to know when we’re going to set the date,” he said as he held her.
“She thought June would be nice. That’s when my parents got married,” he said innocently, and Felicity only cried harder.
She felt like a lamb being led to slaughter.
The last thing she wanted to think about now was a wedding in seven months.
Taylor went to watch TV, and sat on the couch where he had raped her…
and Felicity stayed in bed, and lay staring at the ceiling, feeling worse than she ever had in her life.
Taylor slept on the couch that night, and for the next several days, without her asking him.
There was nothing left to say until she felt better and got over what he’d done.
He knew it was his fault, and took responsibility for it.
And in the meantime, they were engaged, whatever that meant for the present and the future.
They were certainly not off to a good start.