Chapter 3
Violet looked shocked when Felicity told her she and Taylor were engaged and stared at her long and hard.
“Are you serious?” It was the same thing Felicity had asked Taylor when he’d proposed to her. Something about it didn’t seem real, and Felicity was so quiet about it that Violet thought she was kidding at first.
“Of course,” Felicity said, annoyed. “I wouldn’t joke about it. Why did you say that?”
“Because you never seem that interested in marriage. I thought you were more interested in your work. What changed?” Violet always got right to the point.
“He asked me. He proposed. He gave me his mother’s ring.” She still hadn’t worn it again, and kept the ring in its box in a drawer. It still triggered too many painful memories of his raping her.
“I’m not sure that’s a good reason, or enough of a reason,” Violet said precisely.
“It’s nice that he’s serious about you, if that’s what you want.
But just because he chooses you doesn’t mean he deserves you.
He’s a lucky guy if you marry him. How did he ask you?
” Violet smiled at her sister as she asked the question.
“Did he get down on one knee and do the whole old-school thing?” He seemed like the type, and Violet could easily imagine it, but not how it had really happened, and Felicity didn’t tell her the truth.
“Sort of. We had dinner at his parents’, and he asked me when we got home afterward. He had his mother’s ring and put it on my finger.” Violet looked interested by that.
“Let’s see it. Where is it?” They were at their mother’s house for dinner and Violet glanced at her hands. There was no sign of it on Felicity’s finger.
“I don’t want to wear it while I work and get paint on it,” she explained.
“Is it pretty?”
“It’s very traditional, it’s a sapphire with diamonds on either side.”
“Sounds nice.” Violet could tell her sister wasn’t excited, and she wondered why. If she wasn’t, why get engaged? Violet had no interest in marriage herself. “What does it feel like? Are you excited or scared to death?” Violet asked her.
“Both. I didn’t expect him to ask me. It was a big surprise. I’ve been concentrating on my show in June. The engagement doesn’t feel real yet.”
“Are you going to have a long engagement?”
“I hope so. I don’t know. He’s ready, but he’s five years older than I am.
His career is on track. I’m still struggling to make a name for myself.
He’s ready for kids, I’m not. We still have stuff to work out,” Felicity said vaguely.
They hadn’t had sex again since the night of the proposal.
She still had to get over that, which Taylor was well aware of.
He had tried a few times and was patient about it.
He was still sleeping on the couch, but it had only been a few days since he raped her.
She never said the word, but it hung between them like an iron curtain. She needed time to find her way back.
“Kids are a huge deal. I don’t think I want any.
” Violet had said it before so Felicity wasn’t surprised.
“And I’m not sure how I feel about marriage.
I think our grandmother got that right. They never married, which seems more romantic to me.
I don’t need all the traditions and a big dress to prove I love someone.
When Bonne Mamie talks about our grandfather, she looks so in love, she’s as much in love with him as she was sixty years ago.
Maybe not being married keeps it fresh and getting married kills it.
All my friends’ parents are divorced,” she said, matter-of-factly.
“And the statistics aren’t encouraging. I can’t see the point.
I don’t mean to steal your thunder, if it’s right for you, it’s great.
I just don’t think it’s for me. If Jamie asked me now, I’d turn him down.
I might feel differently later, but not now.
I can’t even imagine it. It’s too much fun not being married.
I wouldn’t want anything to spoil that.” Violet and her siblings all called their grandmother Bonne Mamie, the traditional name for grandmother in French.
“Me neither,” Felicity said with a sigh.
“I’m still thinking about it. It’s a lot to absorb at once.
” Violet nodded, sorry for her sister. She looked more troubled and anxious than ecstatic, and Violet could understand why.
It would have panicked her if it happened to her, and she didn’t envy her sister.
It was a huge step, blindfolded, into the future, in Violet’s opinion.
“So when’s the wedding?” she asked, as their mother walked into the kitchen and heard the question. Dominique had just arrived from the office after a long day.
“The Whitfields want a June wedding,” Dominique answered for her.
“I invited them to dinner next week, the night before Thanksgiving. They sound like they want a big splashy affair.” Dominique poured herself a glass of cold white wine from the fridge.
Felicity looked pale. “I thought we should get together and hear what everyone has in mind. Taylor’s mother seems to have some very definite ideas.
They want the wedding in June,” she repeated.
“I have my show then,” Felicity said, looking panicked.
“That’s why I thought we should meet with the Whitfields and talk. You’re welcome too, of course,” she said to Violet, who looked awkward for a minute.
“I was going to call you about that,” she said.
“Jamie invited me to Boston for Thanksgiving. His family is kind of big and crazy and fun, but I didn’t know if you’d be upset if I go.
I won’t if you want me here.” It was the first time either of the girls had other plans for Thanksgiving.
Tommy alternated with his in-laws, which Dominique expected now that he was married, but she didn’t expect it from the girls, since they were both single.
“If it’s important to you, it’s fine if you go,” Dominique said, trying not to show that she was sad about it.
She didn’t want to interfere with their lives.
But it was definitely a new phase if the girls were making other plans for holidays now.
And if Felicity was getting married, the time was not far off when Dominique would be alone for holidays.
Bill spent his with his family, although he usually dropped by at some point in the day, during the Thanksgiving weekend, when he could get away.
And they always went on vacation together after Christmas.
But Violet not coming home for Thanksgiving was the next big change.
“It’s not important to me,” Violet was quick to clarify.
“It just sounded like fun. His family is pretty lively.” It wouldn’t be the traditional elegant Thanksgiving dinner her mother had catered, with all three of them formally dressed.
According to Jamie, it would be crazy and chaotic, which appealed to her for a change.
“I’ll be here with you, Mom,” Felicity said, stepping into the breach.
“You won’t be with the Whitfields?” Dominique asked, bracing herself for the response.
“I told Taylor I wanted to be home with you. He’ll have lunch with his parents, and I’ll see him afterward, the way we’ve done till now.”
The three of them had dinner in the kitchen.
They made a salad, and there was a roast chicken in the fridge that the housekeeper had prepared for them.
They bantered about the wedding, and Felicity said very little.
Her mother found her subdued, and Violet questioned her about it later, when they shared a cab to go back downtown from their mother’s house.
“Are you okay about the wedding?” Violet asked her gently. “You’re very quiet about it.”
“I’m just surprised. That’s all. I wasn’t expecting him to propose.” Or to rape her when she hesitated.
“It’s okay to say no, if you’re not ready,” Violet said.
It was obvious to her that her sister was afraid.
Felicity nodded, looking out the window and trying not to remember the night he proposed.
She couldn’t even tell her sister about it.
Violet was always much bolder and it wouldn’t frighten her to turn down a proposal.
Felicity didn’t want to lose Taylor if she said no.
She loved him, she just didn’t want to be married yet.
“Forever seems like such a long time,” Felicity said.
“I don’t think I could ever do that,” Violet said. “I’m going to follow in our grandmother’s footsteps and never marry. That’s more my style,” and she wasn’t afraid to admit it. Violet was outspoken and honest and always true to herself.
“What about Jamie? Are you in love with him?” Felicity asked, curious. She felt wide open and vulnerable.
“I think I am. Now. But who knows in ten years, or even two? I love my life the way it is right now. I love my work, I love him, and I love my freedom to do what I want, without worrying if it works for someone else, or God forbid, being told what to do by some guy who doesn’t like my plans.
I’d be a terrible wife,” Violet said with conviction, “and I can’t cook. ”
“Neither can I,” Felicity said, and they both laughed as the cab sped toward SoHo, and Felicity tried not to think of the wedding everyone was about to plan for them, let alone the man waiting for her at her apartment.
The man who had raped her. She felt as though she was being swept along by riptides down a rushing river and she had no control over her own destiny.
It was terrifying, and she felt sick every time she thought of it.
* * *