8. Falcon
Over a Week Later
You got Life and Me Fucked Up . . .
How do you say, she’s got me fucked up, in Latin? I took the time to put it into a translator to get the answer. Mentem meam penitus perturbavit. I wanted to know how to say it in Latin because just like the language, this shit right here was about to be dead.
After my baby had her meltdown the morning of the kidney call, I thought we were good. We had our conversation where I set my boundaries. We spent time to decompress. We made love and spent the night relaxed and cuddled up. Cool!
Not cool! Two days later, she started to act disconnected.
I didn’t trip too much, because I wasn’t naive to think that there still wouldn’t be residuals of the feelings she had because the kidney didn’t come through.
I gave her grace and space, but not too much.
I still made it clear that I was there and loved her.
In my head, I thought she just needed time to bounce back, we’d talk, then we would forge our way forward until the next call.
I prayed the next call was that call. I continued to be on her ass to make sure she kept up with her medication and diet.
She hated that shit all of a sudden, but she would be alright.
Well, her ass fooled me and got me fucked up all the same.
I was minding my business at work. The week before payroll, I reviewed the report that my payroll department sent over.
Since we’d taken on the new properties, we had hired multiple new employees.
When we did a mass hire, I always stayed close to the payroll report for at least the first three months after.
You had to because that was the prime time when my old heads attempted to slip in overtime.
It was a little after lunch when I received a text message from the love of my damn life.
My smile was wide when I saw her name come across my phone screen.
My woman had me so gone that I had those puss-ass emojis before and after her name.
When I opened the text and read the first two lines, my smile dropped.
Baby Kee :
Falcon, read this whole message. Do not call me, text me, send me a voice note or any of that. WHOLE MESSAGE FALCON!
We are at a crossroad where I think we need to go our separate ways on our separate road.
You deserve more than to be ball and chained to a woman who has to schedule her life with you around dialysis schedules, hospital visits, pill popping, lab results, transplant calls that may result in a new life or a meltdown.
You deserve a woman whose body understands the assignment to stay fucking healthy.
You deserve to be free to move how you want, go on vacation for longer than two nights.
Before you tell me that you know what you signed up for, I know that. You show me every day that you choose me and I love you for that. Now I want you to choose you.
I packed some things and am going to stay at Lula’s house for the week or a little longer.
That will give you the time to move out.
I know it’s messed up to ask you to move out but it was the only logical thing.
You haven’t rented out your home yet, so you have somewhere to go.
I might sound insensitive, but I am not trying to be.
Falcon, you’re too good of a man to admit loving me is exhausting.
I know you. You will continue to show up for me, take on burdens that I never asked you to carry and pretend like it doesn’t weigh you down.
That’s the kind of man that I fell in love with.
You love me so much that you settle for me and this sickness.
I know you are probably pissed, but please don’t be.
I love you too much to let you settle. Oh, and there is no need to call Lula Ann.
She’s already called me a dumb bitch five times today as well as produced a ranked list of dumb mistakes that I’ve made in my life.
This decision is ranked number two. Number one was the mere thought of this.
I love you so much and I’m sorry
-Kee
I read the text at least five times before it sank in that this fucking girl just tried to break up with me! I said tried to because she could kick rocks if she thought this shit would fly. She had life, me, and my heart fucked up.
First, why the hell would she send me this long-ass text?
She knew I tended to have the attention span of a three-month-old baby who just discovered there was more to life than their toes.
Secondly, settle! That was an insult to me and her.
The fact that she didn’t think she was that girl was a problem for me.
Lupus wasn’t who she was. It was a disease that she had.
Third, why the fuck would she sign the text at the end like I didn’t know who the hell she was?
I exited out of the text and went to my call screen. I long pressed the number three on the screen. Rome picked up on the fourth ring. “Yo!”
“Nigga, tell me why Kee just sent me some bullshit-ass breakup text. Bro, she’s got me fucked up in the worst way.” I was steaming.
I heard him excuse himself from wherever he was. It took a moment before there was silence in the background. “Bro, are you serious? Y’all have a fight or some shit?”
Rome was my brother from another mother, but we didn’t have the kind of friendship where we told each other everything that happened within our relationships that was serious.
It was something that we learned from our parents.
He didn’t need to know the ins and outs of my relationship, but he needed to know this shit.
“Nah, we ain’t had a fuckin’ fight. Her ass in on some she feels bad that I’m with a girl with a disease or some shit. She had the damn nerve to call herself my ball and chain. Bro, I don’t think my woman knows that I’m a little touched.” Frustration sat on my chest and hurt on my heart.
Rome was quiet for a moment. “Damn, bro. Lula told me that she was depressed.”
“Lula should know. In that stupid ass text, she said that she was staying at Lula’s house for a week or some shit so I can move out.” I laughed because the shit was hilarious.
“Come again? She’s staying where? Not at the house that I lay my head in,” he said. “Lula ain’t told me no shit like that.”
I laughed. “Well, you better call your woman. I’m gonna let you know what I’m about to do. I’m going to go to the home I share with Mazikeen, pack a bag, then I’m going to Lula’s house to stay with my woman. Wherever she lays her head is where I’m going to lay my head.”
“So, it’s just a sleepover at a nigga’s house, unbeknownst to him. Yeah, let me get off this phone and call this fuckin’ girl. She’s turned our house into a fuckin’ clubhouse.” Rome didn’t say goodbye before he hung up in my ear.
Yep, his house damn sure was about to be a whole clubhouse. It was a sleepover in that bitch. Mazikeen Joy Phillips had me fucked up. It was time that I put some shit on the table so she understood where we were and where we were going.
After I talked to Rome, I continued to review the payroll.
I didn’t try to reach out to Mazikeen. I knew her so much that I knew that she wanted me to.
She wouldn’t get that, because in my mind, this was another tantrum of hers.
That text was the equivalent of when she knocked that plate on the floor.
She would clean this shit up too. The only difference today was that I planned to help.
It was a little after seven in the evening, and I was at Lula Ann and Rome’s house. I left my office a little after five. It took no time for me to pack my bag. Shit, our weekenders were still packed. In that bag, I had enough clothes for three days, so I put more outfits in my garment duffel bag.
I texted Rome when I pulled into the driveway to tell him to open the door.
He was on the porch when I got out of my car.
He shook his head the entire time I walked toward him.
“You a crazy boy. She’s in here looking like her puppy ran away.
I didn’t tell either of them that you were coming through. ”
“Good! I love a damn surprise,” I said after I dapped him. “Let’s get in here so I can see my baby.”
He moved to the side to let me be the first to walk into the house. When I walked in the living room, I announced myself. “Family! What’s up?”
Lula Ann and Kee’s head turned so fast that I thought it would snap off their shoulders. Kee’s eyelids stretched wide. “Falcon, what are you doing here?”
I didn’t give her an answer. My bags needed to go into my designated room. Rome’s house was a five-bedroom house where two of the rooms were guest bedrooms. I knew that Kee would be in one of those.
Lula Ann moved into Rome’s house a few months before Kee and I moved in together.
Their relationship developed at warped speed.
It was different to see Rome in love, especially with a personality like Lula Ann.
She was a live wire, and so was he. In the past, he dated women who were live wires, but there was clearly something that was different about Lula Ann. They were amazing together.
I found the room that Kee was in. In my mind, there was no rush, so I took the time to put my things up. Kee said that she planned to stay here for a week, but I swore that there were enough clothes between the closet and the drawers to stay here for a month.
“Falcon, what the hell are you doing?” Kee’s voice touched my ears from the door where she stood. Her face was bunched up when I turned to see her. She still was beautiful.
I paused for a moment to walk over and taste her lips. She didn’t deny my kiss. “Hey, baby. I’m putting my stuff up. You said that we were staying here for a week.”
“No, I said that I was staying here for a week. You know I didn’t say we, Falcon. Don’t do this.” Her voice was soft as she walked into the room. She closed the door behind her.