Chapter 35 #2
Oh, if only she knew. If only I could explain myself…
“How about writing her a letter? Some chicks like that old-fashioned shit.”
I gave him a flat look. “A letter? That’s your advice?”
“Didn’t know you were asking for advice!” Killian crossed his arms over his chest, an elbow bumping into his dark beer. “Well, Captain, my advice is that you head over there and mark her on the spot.”
“Do you even hear yourself?” I exhaled through my nose, standing to get another round.
“At least her wolf’ll be happy. One out of two’s not bad!”
At the counter, just when I was about to swipe my black Mastercard, a firm hand grabbed my forearm, right above my tattooed cracks. My left eye twitched as my fingers curled inward. Damn. I stretched them out.
“Hello, Thor,” someone breathed on my neck. It was hot and moist, and I fucking hated it.
I glanced to my left. A she-wolf from the female wereball team batted her lashes at me.
“Hey, Thea,” I said flatly, striding away, sensing her presence following me. “I’m busy. See ya around.”
She beamed at me, licking her blue lips as dark brown eyes trailed down my body.
Without getting the hint, she began congratulating me on the damn match.
Frustrated that I couldn’t get rid of her, I halted, placing the stein of beer on the empty table next to me, some drops spilling out. Then I turned, facing her completely.
“Need something else?”
Goddess, her scent was wrong. Yvaine’s, on the other hand, was so…
Shut the fuck up!
I shook my head, irritated again that anything reminded me of her. Even wrong smells.
Like Gran once said, there was no escape from someone’s heart.
“Come over to mine for a drink,” she proposed, jutting a hip out. “My roommates are out. Have the apartment all to myself.” She tucked a lock of dyed black hair behind her pierced ear.
“Well, congrats. And no,” I said bluntly, stepping past her. Killian seemed to be enjoying the show, his hands behind his head and feet up the table. Asshole. “Bye.”
“Come on, Thor. We could…” She chewed her lower lip and averted her eyes. “You know, maybe I could—”
When her hand touched my forearm—again, without consent—the hidden pest within me roused and snarled. Thea yelped, jumping away.
“We could what?” I hissed. “Fuck?” I let out a broken chuckle, watching her shift on her feet. “And you could what? Give me and my friend your ass?”
By then, she was shaking like a leaf under an angry wind.
“Ohhh, wolf got your tongue?” I shook my head, exasperated and tired. “No, Thea, I don’t want to fuck you today. Or ever. If I wanted to, I would have already.”
When I dropped back down into my seat, knees bumping against the table, I ignored Killian’s whistle and poured myself another drink. The lady cursed when her house of cards fell. One card flew away, abandoned under an empty table. I felt exactly like that card.
For a second, I stared at the beer, remembering how my Bunny Doc told me she didn’t like beer. She preferred cider. With a sigh, I pushed the glass away. Went back to the counter and ordered cider.
Kill watched the whole thing, probably wondering why we had to waste his favorite beer and switch to shitty cider.
“I hid my identity from her. For weeks. Never specified who I was. It’s bad.”
Killian’s smirk faded as he recognized the sadness welling up in my eyes like a water mattress about to implode.
“It is,” he agreed, “but I don’t think it’s unfixable.”
“You don’t?” I asked, hope pouring into each syllable.
Kill massaged his cheeks with his fingertips. “Maybe she needs time.”
“Time?” I snorted like the horse I wasn’t. I was more like the thing that eats the horse. “I’m not patient.”
I hesitated.
And what if she couldn’t forgive me with time?
No. Shut up. She will.
Killian eyed me, shaking his head. “Why didn’t you tell her who you are?”
“You know why,” I grunted, elbows on the table as one hand passed through my hair and pulled hard.
Killian opened his mouth, shut it, re-evaluated, then parted it again. “Because she’s Comet’s daughter?”
“Course not. Don’t give a shit about pack dynamic.”
“Your, um, mother?” Killian tried again.
“Nah. I won’t let that revolting human impact my decisions.”
And then Killian understood. He pulled at the collar of his shirt. “It’s your wolf?”
I dropped my hands, as empty as the stare I turned on Killian. “Bingo! What took you so long?”
Killian remained quiet. Then, “Yvaine’s his—um, its mate, too.”
I didn’t like that—no, not at all—and growled. A few faces turned our way.
“No, she’s not. She is my mate, not its mate.”
My vision flashed crimson.
Killian jumped to his feet, taking a step back and bumping into a coat rack that promptly fell to the ground. So many things kept falling on this cursed day. However, I was sure Killian didn’t want to meet my damn wolf now—or ever again.
I watched in horror how his thumb brushed the missing ends of his last three fingers.
Another kind of guilt—a permanent, ancient one—barged through me. Bile rose up, and I almost retched there on the table.
More things would fall if the wolf visited us. Assessing that the situation was safe again, Kill slumped back down, a hand on my shoulder. I glanced at it.
“You’re scared she won’t accept you because of him—um, it?”
I pressed the heels of my palms into my eye sockets, wishing them to stay forever silver. No other colors. “Course she won’t! How can she, if I don’t?”
Killian paused, pondering. “Your wolf is an…interesting creature, but what’s your plan? Let her reject you for fear of—”
I gave a hard shake of my head.
“Can’t have her scared of me. I can accept rejection; I can bear the hatred. But fear? Never that.” I pawed at my shirt with a closed fist, trying to rub the feeling away.
“I hear you, my friend. Damn, I hate seeing you like this. You don’t deserve it after what you’ve lost. But…what will you do, then?”
No reply.
“You love her, right?”
“With all my heart,” I declared, serious and sure.
“Are you…” Killian lowered his voice, glancing around. “…afraid that it’ll, you know, force her to mate?”
“Don’t wanna find out, Kill.”
“But—”
“It’s just… When we kissed at the party—”
“Hold up.” His head snapped up. “What party?!”
A small grin tugged at my mouth. “Comet’s.”
Killian slammed both palms onto the table so hard that our bowl of peanuts jumped in place. Good thing I was holding onto our glasses.
“Shut the fuck up! You went to Comet alone? You know our heads have a bounty there, right? And why wasn’t I invited?”
I shrugged. “The wereball team arrived later. I even signed a few autographs.”
“Ah! Even their fans prefer you, my T-man!”
We smirked, and he smacked my hand like we’d just made a touchdown.
“So, lemme get this straight,” he continued. “You go to her party, and she sees you messing around with another chick—”
“The fuck? No, of course not! We danced.”
“Aww,” he crooned, fluttering his lashes at me. “Did you stare into each other’s eyes?”
Actually, yes. But I wasn’t going to tell him that. That moment—ours—wasn’t for sharing.
“I wanted to tell her who I was. I was about to.”
Killian’s brows shot up. “You were?”
“Yeah.” I scratched my chest, suddenly itchy. “Then she kissed me again—”
“Oh yeah—”
“—and there was this…sudden urge. To mark. To mate her.” His grin slid right off his face.
“I couldn’t fucking control it. It was so intense.
The beast…” I swallowed, paling. “The beast almost took over me. All those years of training, all that practice to contain it, just gone. Thanks to a single kiss.”
Killian’s foot stilled, no longer tapping under the table. “So it’s back.”
I recalled the cursed night Yvaine had slept with that loser tutor.
How I’d dropped the milk carton when it was halfway to my mouth.
How I’d doubled over from the pain, clutching my chest. How my palms had come away red.
How the milk on the floor had turned bloody, and how everything else had turned red, too… and then black.
I woke up later, naked, in the middle of a destroyed truck. Like a huge nest made of metallic scraps.
“Yeah. It’s back.”