Chapter 38
Tristan
Sadie is holding my hand, trembling as we walk into the waiting room.
Yesterday the doctor informed us he was considering taking Lark out of her coma and allowing her to wake on her own.
The swelling has gone down, but he wanted to give it a little more time considering where she hit her head and how long it took before her brother found her.
I learned that Lark had set up a shortcut on her phone. It’s something she does with anyone she trains. When she told her phone she fell, it alerted two contacts that she chose with her location and a text stating she’d been hurt and needed help.
That’s how she was found so fast, and the doctors said it probably saved her life.
Deacon raced out to her and immediately got her medical care.
It’s really smart and something I plan to do with Sadie and my sisters.
“Daddy?” Sadie pulls my hand, stopping us both.
“Yes?”
“I don’t know if I should go in there. They probably hate me.”
I shake my head. “No one hates you, love. It’s me they hate.” I joke, but it’s also not a lie.
Her brothers are barely tolerating me, and, really, it’s only because Mrs. Gatlin threatened to put them in beds next to Lark if they did anything that might threaten her recovery. Yesterday I asked whether Sadie could come and explained why.
All of them agreed without hesitation—even her brothers.
Then it was my turn to threaten that if anyone made my daughter cry, I’d kill them.
“That’s not funny,” she says.
“I know. No one hates anyone today. We’re all here for Lark, okay?”
She nods. “Do they know it’s my fault?”
I cup her cheek. “Sadie, none of this is your fault. No one thinks you did anything wrong.”
“It was my horse.”
This is why I asked to bring her. Before Lark wakes up. Before there is a new set of issues we’re trying to overcome. While we’re still in this state of calm, to let Sadie come, speak to them, and hopefully get some reassurance.
She needs it.
Lark would want her to have it.
“And you didn’t put Lark on that horse to hurt her. No one blames you, Sadie Jo. Not a single person.”
That’s at least the one thing I know is absolutely true.
My family has spent the past three years blaming Maverick for Carrick’s death. They know how that feels, and I trust that Mrs. Gatlin will not allow anyone to inflict that onto a child.
“I’m sad and scared.”
I give her a reassuring smile. “And that’s okay, but facing our fears is what makes us brave.”
She nods, and then we enter the room. All the Gatlins are there, including her brother Carter. He got into town yesterday and is the only brother who at least tries to have conversations with me—or at least isn’t openly glaring whenever I move or breathe.
Deacon, Ryan, and Mr. Gatlin stand, and her father comes toward us first. “Sadie, this is Mr. Gatlin, Lark’s dad.”
My daughter, being the kind, sweet child she is, immediately goes to him and wraps her arms around him, then begins to cry. “I’m so sorry, sir. I didn’t know.”
He smiles, looking down at her, and places his hand on her shoulder. “Oh, darling, we know that. You didn’t do anything to hurt Lark, did you?”
Sadie shakes her head. “No, I never would.”
“Then you have nothing to be sorry for, darling. Lark would’ve gotten on that horse no matter what. I’m sure, when she wakes up, she’ll tell us how it happened, and we’ll see she probably did something foolish.”
“But I asked her to ride him,” Sadie says, sniffing back her tears.
“And she wouldn’t have ridden him if she hadn’t thought it was safe.”
“Still, he was my horse, and I asked her to help me. Dad said I shouldn’t go near him.” Sadie looks up at me, her lip quivering. “I’m sorry. I should’ve listened.”
Deacon comes around to face her and gets down on his haunches. “That’s the thing about Lark. She’s fearless and will do anything to help someone.”
Fearless is right. She was unapologetic when it came to us. She didn’t want to hide away. To pretend we weren’t exactly what we were. I was the one who was too afraid.
“I just wish she wasn’t hurt.”
Deacon smiles. “We do, too, but she’ll be okay. She’s a fighter, and my sister never quits.”
My throat tightens, as their kindness to Sadie is so clear. They don’t have to be nice to her, but they are, and maybe, just maybe, there’s hope for all of us yet.
Sadie nods, and I place my hand on her shoulder. “See? No one blames you.”
She glances up at me, tears in those big blue eyes. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“Of course, Cupcake. Now we just have to have faith.”
“So are we going to talk about any of this?” Fallon asks, my entire family sitting around the table.
I put my fork down. “What is there to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know. How about the fact that you’re in love with a fucking Gatlin. A Gatlin, Tristan. Of all the women in the world you could develop feelings for, you chose her?”
I know my sister has her reasons. I get that she has trauma around Lark’s family, but I will not allow her to malign Lark in any way.
Not allowing my anger to surge, I keep my tone easy.
“Yes, I chose her,” I say matter-of-factly. “I’m sorry that it doesn’t align with your wishes, but I don’t need your approval or your damn judgment.”
“Tristan,” Harper warns. “Easy.”
I look at my other sister. Now, her I’m not going to take it easy on. Harper has no reason to have any feelings about this. “Me? Lark is lying in a fucking coma right now—I won’t go easy.”
“She’s upset,” Harper defends. “You know why that is.”
It doesn’t mean that it’s okay. I don’t remember any of my sisters coming to me for approval for the idiots they’ve been with. I’m not sure why they think I need or want theirs.
I love Lark.
She’s the woman I want to be with. The woman who has shown me that hope can still exist, even when it doesn’t seem possible.
“I do know why. Now imagine how I feel, sitting here while the woman I love is in a fucking coma,” I bark back.
Fallon, Veronica, and Harper all stop moving and stare at me.
“No, you can’t, Tristan,” Fallon says, coming out of it first. “You can’t love her. No. Her brother killed my fiancé!”
“She did nothing to you, Fallon.” I wish I could help ease my sister’s pain, I really do, but Lark isn’t responsible. “I know you’re hurting, but taking it out on someone else isn’t going to bring Carrick back.”
Fallon shakes her head and then huffs. “What would Emmy Jo think of this? How do you think your wife, the woman you loved more than anything, would feel about you dating Lark Gatlin?”
The anger I was so tightly holding on to explodes.
I’m on my feet in an instant, staring down at my youngest sister.
“If you think for one second Emmy Jo wouldn’t be happy for me, then you didn’t know her at all.
She wouldn’t want me to live my life in constant pain.
She never wanted me to grieve her. I loved my wife.
I buried my wife and have been raising Sadie alone.
Don’t you dare bring Emmy Jo into this, because you know what?
She’d be happy that I found someone. She’d be over the fucking moon to know that there’s a woman who cares about Sadie as well and who Sadie likes.
And for you to sit there and spew your absolute garbage, knowing how I feel about her, is so fucked up, I can’t even put it into words. ”
Fallon closes her eyes and then rubs her hand down her face. “I’m sorry.”
“You should be.”
Sure, I could be gracious and just accept it, but I’m not there. To bring up Emmy Jo and try to make me think that she’d disapprove was a step over the line.
I glance at Harper and Veronica to see whether they’re going to weigh in, but they stay silent.
“I am,” Fallon says, getting to her feet. “Truly, I shouldn’t have said that, and you’re right. Emmy Jo wouldn’t have judged you.”
“But you do,” I toss back.
She sighs, her shoulders drooping. “I don’t know. I just…I hate them. It’s so much easier to hate them because I need to hate someone!”
I understand that all too well. I move around to my sister and pull her into my arms. As much as I’d like to just stay mad at her, I can’t. “Hating them won’t bring him back.”
Fallon wraps her arms around me. “I know this. I do, but I miss him.”
“I know.”
She lets go, wiping at her face. “I was really mean to Lark a week or so ago.”
“She told me.”
“I was out of line.”
I nod. “When she wakes up, you can tell her that.”
Fallon sighs heavily. “Tristan, what if she doesn’t? I’m not saying that to be mean, I swear,” she says quickly. “I heard someone talking about the swelling around her brain. I don’t want to see you hurt.”
That ship has sailed, and there’s no turning it around. I can’t even entertain that possibility. I won’t put that out into the universe, because that can’t be an option for me. She has to wake up. She has to be okay.
Surely there is no omnipotent power that would allow me to suffer losing the other woman I’ve loved.
“She’ll wake up.”
Harper clears her throat. “Tristan, I know you don’t want to contemplate it, but…”
I shake my head. “There are no buts. She’ll wake up. She’ll be fine. I’ll fix the mess I made, and then you’re all going to be nice, because I love her. Understand?”
My three sisters look at each other and then at me.
Harper first. “Sure.”
Then Veronica. “I’ll be nice.”
And lastly Fallon. “I promise to do my best.”
I glare at her.
She throws her hands up. “Fine. I’ll be nice to her and only her. The rest of the Gatlins are assholes.”
I’ll take it.
I’m about to say something when my phone rings. It’s Lark’s dad.
I quickly swipe the phone. “Hello?”
“Tristan, you need to get here—fast.”