Inappropriate Humor is How I Hug
Malachi woke with a deep sense of purpose.
What that purpose was, he wasn’t sure, but he knew something monumental was in the works for the day.
It must have been something in the fresh air, or the sparkle of the sunshine that filtered through the curtain.
Maybe even the cheerful chirping of birds outside the window.
“Disgusting,” he decided. Turning to Chuck, he buried his face against her neck, inhaling the comforting scent that was purely her.
“You’re cute when you snore,” he mumbled, tracing his lips across her throat.
“And when you grumble in your sleep.” He chuckled at her sleepy grunt of indignation.
“I don’t snore,” she protested over a yawn, rubbing her eyes before blinking at him. A small frown was struggling to curve her lips down, but it was losing the fight against the laugh bubbling from her throat.
“You do… and you know it.” He grabbed his phone from the nightstand. “Do I need to remind you of the evidence?”
Sitting up quickly, Chuck tried to snatch the phone from him. “That was one time!” she snapped, still laughing as she threw herself across him, trying again to grab the device as he held it away from her. “I had a cold! It doesn’t count!”
Malachi tossed the phone on the floor out of reach and wrapped both arms around her waist as she dove for it, trying to delete the video. “Nice try, but I’ve got a backup of the video, and it will go to the entire precinct if you attempt to get rid of it.” He laughed harder at her frustrated growl.
“Sometimes I wonder why I like you,” she muttered.
Tendrils of shadow slipped from him and stroked over her curves, wrenching a gasp from her as her back arched. “Because I do this to you,” he replied in a low, sultry tone he knew drove her wild. He lowered her to the mattress again and leaned over her, then paused, cocking one ear toward the door.
“What are you doing?” she demanded breathlessly, writhing as the shadows continued their winding sensuous trail over her heated skin.
“Trying to make sure Glenda isn’t going to interrupt us.”
There was a brief pause where she stilled, then burst into laughter. “You’re so right!” Linking her arms around his neck, she yanked him down. “But I don’t care if she shows up with the pope in tow. We’ll ignore her. Give me more.”
At the station, Chuck listened in surprise as their lieutenant advised they were needed again with Detective Roundtree for another church burglary. Frowning, she leaned forward. “Another one? I thought that was wrapped up.”
Jeffers shrugged, holding his palms up. “Yeah, I know you recovered the stolen items, but they didn’t apprehend the culprit.
Apparently, it happened again last night, so he requested you to see if Malachi picks up on the same scent.
I’d like you to take Raifson and Luna with you.
Blaine said her training was quite well done so she’s going to get some field experience working with Jaxon. Seems those two bonded quickly.”
Nodding absently, Chuck stared at Malachi, her confusion clear in the pinched set of her features.
Hey, don’t look at me, I didn’t do it, he protested hotly.
I doubt Lunafish Casserole did it either.
I mean… unless she’s sneaking out. We’ll have to ask…
Oh! He paused as Luna and Jaxon came through the door.
Hey, Delulu, you breaking into the holy-shit places again?
His tongue lolled out as he avoided her gaze, not wanting Jeffers to suspect they knew each other.
No, why would I do that? she asked, genuinely confused.
He explained to her while Jeffers did the same for Jaxon. Once the orders were given, both officers nodded and headed off to their respective vehicles. Outside, they paused and waited for another team to pass by so they could speak privately.
“Okay, so this is weird, right? I mean, you know who was behind the first one, and it’s not her. Is this another demon set up, you think?” Jaxon asked quietly.
Chuck shrugged and rubbed her forehead with frustration.
“I honestly don’t know. Malachi wasn’t sure either.
Luna said it wasn’t her, and I believe her, so I guess we go meet with the Detective and see what’s going on.
” She paused, then smirked. “Also, there have been a few… incidents between Kassidy and Malachi. They aren’t on the best of terms. Maybe Luna will make a better impression? She’s certainly more agreeable.”
Well, that was just really uncalled for, Malachi grumped. Especially after all the nice places I put my tongue this morning.
Chuck’s teasing smile fell as her mouth dropped open in shock. Malachi had sent the thought to all of them, and Jaxon’s embarrassed grimace confirmed he heard it loud and clear. He was staring in horror at the large black dog.
“As a human!” she blurted frantically, waving her hands. “This morning, when he was in human… oh for fuck’s sake!” She whirled and stomped off, yanking the leash much harder than was necessary.
Guh! He gagged then hurried to keep up. Seriously, that hurt! Why are you so damn violent? Also, I have a question…
“Of course you do,” she grumbled as she unlocked the SUV and opened his compartment. “Also,” she snapped as she glared, “don’t act like you’re injured; I know that didn’t actually hurt you!”
I’m not permanently disabled, no, but it was very uncomfortable. But my question is, when you said, for fuck’s sake, did you mean it’s for the sake of the fucks? Or should it be that the fucks have multiple sakes?
Chuck stared at him, eyes wide and unblinking. Finally, she shook her head and waved. “Get in, you reprobate,” she sighed.
You sure are grumpy today. You should be in a good mood after all the times I made you—
“Don’t!” she yelped, glancing over her shoulder to see if anyone was nearby. “Don’t you dare finish that.”
No one else can hear me.
“I don’t care, just… quit being so ornery. You’re like… extra mouthy today!”
Hmm, maybe it’s because we’re going to see your wanna be boyfriend.
And you keep threatening the only person in my family that will acknowledge me anymore.
Still a demon, Chuck. He leaped into the back of the vehicle and settled into his compartment.
Do you want me to change? I’m working for the police department, helping you solve crimes instead of committing them. Is that not enough anymore?
Chuck shut the door and hurried to the driver’s seat.
Once inside, she sighed heavily. “Mal, I’m sorry.
I know I ask a lot of you, given your background.
I know what you gave up. I’ll be nicer to Flick, and if Detective Roundtree tries anything, I’ll make it very clear that I am not available.
I’m worried about you, about Luna, about Jax.
Just… I don’t want anyone around us to be hurt. ”
First of all, don’t be nicer to Flick. It’s awesome to see him get some payback; it keeps him on his toes.
But maybe don’t run him off either. And you’re so busy worrying about everyone else that you forget to take care of the most important person.
You. So let me help. Humor and inappropriate comments are how I hug, but I’m worried about you.
No one is going to hurt you on my watch!
“Thanks, Mal,” she offered softly, a small smile curving her lips as she met his gaze in the mirror. “I really appreciate it. So, let’s go to church, shall we?”
Gross.
As Chuck drove, she turned on the radio and sang along, grinning as she ignored the agonized howling from her passenger. She declared he was complaining, as usual. He insisted he was harmonizing, as always.
Malachi stood outside of the mosque, staring up at the imposing edifice with mild curiosity.
He studied the swooping architecture and noted the same buzzing of consecration around the building as the other houses of worship.
Sacred ground was sacred ground, no matter what you called the big kahuna.
Tentatively, he lifted a paw and stepped over the invisible boundary, then huffed a relieved sigh when he wasn’t struck by lightning.
Or the hand of God. Or any number of other unpleasant happenstances that amounted to smiting.
He glanced at Luna as she trotted up to stand beside him, tongue hanging out while she panted happily. So, it really doesn’t bother you? The holy ground stuff? I guess that half-angel side is good for something after all.
Eh, she hummed, then shrugged; it’s not the best feeling. Kind of a borderline nausea, but it doesn’t hurt. I just ignore it. Where do we start? How do we do this?
Sniff around, try to find any hint of a demon other than us.
Use your power to sense, but don’t make it obvious.
Remember, to the casual observer we’re dogs, so we have to act like we find our information that way, regardless of how we actually came by it.
He lowered his snout and proceeded to take in large whiffs of the air while he closed his eyes and let his otherworldly senses roam.
“Chuck, Jax,” came Detective Dipshit’s warm greeting, waving enthusiastically.
“Nice to see you both. Jaxon, congrats on getting a K-9! I was surprised to hear of that, especially a dog that’s already trained.
” He was squinting at Luna now, and although he was smiling, Malachi could sense the man was suspicious.
“Hey, Kass, good to see you too, man. Yeah, it’s exciting for sure. And Luna is very well trained. She’s definitely going to be a great addition to the unit.” Jaxon shook the other man’s hand with a strong grip, leaning into the buddy cop role cheerfully and effectively blocking his advance.
Nodding a brief hello, Chuck tightened her grip on Malachi’s leash and squatted beside him. “Okay, Malachi. Ready? Scent, go find it.”
Malachi rolled his eyes and moved closer to the building, looking for any hint of brimstone or darkness. He was about to growl in frustration when he caught a faint whiff of what he’d been searching for. Pausing, he sent to Luna: Do you smell that? Coming from the east?
I do, she confirmed, and swung in parallel with him as they both followed the trail.
“I think we’ve got a hit,” Chuck murmured as she and Jaxon fell in behind the dogs, moving toward the back of the building, sheltered by a stand of large oaks.
Detective Roundtree hurried after them as the pair of K-9s and their handlers sped up, closing in on the stronger scent.
He barraged them with questions until Malachi stopped and growled at him.
The man’s steps faltered, and his eyes darted to Chuck, who studiously ignored him, staring up into the surrounding trees.
Malachi and Luna continued to track the scent, questioning the point of the meandering trail while it wandered around the side of the building.
They traced it as it zig-zagged across the grounds, back and forth in no particular pattern.
Grumbling about drunk toddlers, Malachi diligently stayed on the trail until it came to an abrupt stop at the back door.
He growled at the wooden slab, eyeing Chuck meaningfully as he assumed his alert pose.
Luna quickly copied his stance and let out a short yip of excitement. When Jaxon rubbed her head and praised her, she panted heavily, and a slight golden glow began to shimmer around her.
Mind your halo, Lunatuna, Malachi chuckled, smirking as she whined. You can be proud; just be aware that you tend to show it a little more than your average demonic K-9.
I didn’t even know I was. Hang on. She glanced at Jaxon and woofed low, grabbing his attention.
After a moment of intense concentration and whispering between the pair, she glanced at Malachi again.
He can see it, faintly, but I don’t think that other weirdo can.
She lifted her muzzle to indicate the detective opening the door to let them inside.
Yeah, there’s something off about that guy. Keep an eye on him. And if he makes a move toward Chuck that I don’t see, bite his ass.
Got it, she growled, drawing a startled glance from Roundtree. At his wary stare, she tilted her head and panted happily. Hey, I could use my succubus power to distract him; want me to send him the desire to hump a lamppost?
Kassidy cleared his throat. “Ah, so yeah, this is how they got in. Similar M.O. as the other locations. No damage to the door, missing relics, but on this one the door wasn’t still locked so I wasn’t sure if it was the same culprit.”
“Right! Well, initial response seems likely, but we should check inside,” Chuck replied cheerfully. “Shall we?” She gestured to the door that the detective was blocking and tilted her head. “Wanna… move, Kass?”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” he mumbled, quickly standing to the side so Malachi and Chuck could enter. Jaxon and Luna followed on their heels.