Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Emily
We spent the rest of yesterday just hanging out together at Wishbone.
I suppose we could have gone out for dinner, or gone back to his place or mine, but we were happy where we were.
We kissed. We talked. We kissed some more.
Kisses for their own sake, not leading anywhere except for increased intimacy.
At one point I was straddling him, and his fingers ran gently up and down my spine as I leaned forward to catch his lips with mine as we chatted and got to know each other even better.
It felt delicious, and I bathed luxuriantly in every one of his smiles, all of which I earned.
And not just by using my body, because it's me he likes. Not just what I'm willing to do.
I learned more about him, and not just that I could make him shudder and growl low in his throat by gently biting his bottom lip, or groan softly by running the tip of my tongue along the seam of his mouth.
I also learned that he went to California Institute, where he was aiming to complete a BFA focusing on painting, but dropped out when Dean got shot so he could be there for him.
I learned that his mother passed away not long before he moved to England, and his dad has since married a woman Eli describes as ‘a real nice lady’, and they’re spending their retirement travelling around the world.
I learned that the thing he misses most about New Orleans - pronounced ‘Nawlins’ - is the food.
He taught me some Nawlins slang, as well; like when he says ‘Where y’at’ to Dean and Leo, he’s asking them how they are rather than where, like 'where are you at in life', and that the correct response if he asks me (and if I’m fine) is to say, “Awrite”. When he started fiddling with the music coming through on the sound system, I learned to my delight that the majority of the Disturbed and Rammstein on the Wishbone Spotify was his. And when we ordered a pizza, I was even more delighted to find out that he agrees with me about pineapple on pizza, ie. it’s sick and wrong and a total abomination and perversion of something good and pure and delicious.
It wasn’t easy, having a cloud of doubt and fear lingering over me while we enjoyed each other’s company, but I have to believe that this will pass over time.
My gut told me to take the chance, and that he is worth the effort.
He’s never given me any reason to doubt him, and I’m not counting last night’s misunderstanding.
Because it was exactly that: a misunderstanding.
Each day as it comes, I soothe myself. Besides, given my thumping great crush on Eli, I’d have to be the biggest dumbarse in town to turn him down.
It was dark out by the time we agreed to call it a night, and of course he walked me home after locking up, my hand in his as though we’ve never done anything else.
He spends ages kissing me goodbye on my doorstep, but, though it’s tempting, I don’t invite him in, and he doesn’t seem to expect it.
After last night, it would just have felt wrong.
But I find his determination not to rush things.
..well, intriguing. It’s so foreign from any experience I’ve had with anyone else since I started having proper boyfriends, all of whom just wanted to get laid as fast as possible with the minimum effort from them to get there, and I find myself feeling more excited anticipation for each step of what is to come with Eli.
When he talked about wanting me on board if he was going down on me or if we were having sex, the thrill at the ideas, the prospect of savouring each of them in turn for my own enjoyment.
..I wanted it. All of it. And I wanted it on those terms: a slow burning build up that we can both revel in, not just a one woman mission to get him off with nothing given back in return. This time, I get to enjoy it, too.
“Oh, holy sh - ” I exclaim, clapping both hands over my mouth and gasping with delight, “I love it! It’s exactly how I picture it in my head! Thank you so much!”
I’ve just spent around three hours in the hairdresser’s chair, and Lindsey, the woman Sadie recommended, has completely transformed me.
I can hardly believe my eyes when I look in the mirror; my hair looks exactly how I wanted it.
She grins at me, and says, “Bugger, we should have taken a before and after shot for the salon’s website! ”
Gone is the regrowth and the pale blonde ends.
My hair is now a glossy, rich milk chocolate brown that suits my skin tone so much better and makes it glow rather than draining me.
When I walked in this morning, my hair was mostly straight and a couple of inches past my shoulders; now it’s wavy and cut just past chin level.
I have in the past felt a strong urge to do something drastic to my hair when big life changes have occurred, but this one has been the most meaningful of all to me.
My hair looks the way I want it to look.
I haven’t based the colour, cut, or style on anyone else’s preferences but my own.
I feel free. I feel like me, more than I have in years.
And I’m hard pushed to hold back the tears welling up in my eyes, but I manage it.
Sadie walks in just as I’m paying. She agreed to come shopping with me for clothes and makeup once my hair was done, because I’m going all out with this makeover and don’t want to half-arse it.
No more same old, same old for this girl.
Her eyes light up, and her mouth drops open as she beams with glee.
“Oh, wow, Em, that looks fantastic!” She hugs me and takes a step back, holding both my hands. “You were so right about the colour.”
“You like it?” I ask, feeling like a million quid.
“God, yes, but more importantly, are you happy with it?”
“Couldn’t possibly be happier,” I confess on a joyous giggle. I’m so happy I could burst. I turn back to Lindsey as she hands my card back to me. “Genuinely cannot thank you enough.”
Lindsey waves a hand at me. “My pleasure. I love a good transformation.” We say goodbye, with me assuring her I’ll be back very soon for a trim.
I cannot stop touching my new bob as we leave. The ends feel soft and delicious and healthy. Sadie chuckles at me.
“So, ready to complete the look?” she asks. “Clothes or makeup?”
“Whichever we get to first,” I reply. I’m looking forward to the rest of the day, and can’t wait to get back and enjoy my haul. So many possibilities are in front of me, and I feel like a kid at Christmas.
My phone pings. It’s a text from Eli. My boyfriend. My stomach dips happily.
Eli: Hey, beautiful. How’s your day so far? X
I melt a little, and I quickly tap out a response while Sadie chats to me about a cool vintage store she likes.
Me: It’s going great, thanks. Hair all finished, and just met up with Sadie. How’s your day? X
His answer pings back within thirty seconds.
Eli: Sounds good :-) I’m just about to go for a run. It’s nice out, so I’ll probably get a little sweaty. When I get back, I might have a good long hard think in the shower about my girlfriend and the cute noises she makes when I kiss that soft patch of skin just under her ear ;) X
My jaw drops. Oh. My. God, that’s hot. Eli, sweaty. And naked. In the shower. Masturbating. While thinking about me. I can feel how wet the idea has made me as I walk, saying a distracted “hmm,” to whatever Sadie is saying. I am absolutely loving this new, flirty, sexy side of him. It’s awesome.
I send him a :-O and a little fire emoji.
Me: Jesus, are you trying to set me on fire or something?? X
Eli: Baby, I might be ;) X
“Oh my god, please tell me that’s Eli you’re texting and grinning about,” Sadie’s eyes are alive with amusement.
I tuck my phone away in my jacket pocket. “Sorry,” I say with a sheepish smile.
“Babe, you only need to apologise if you’re not going to give me all the deets,” she says, linking her arm through mine. “Seriously, tell me he made a move on Saturday night. Please.”
I grin, and can feel myself going pink. “Well, erm…”
Her eyes widen and she stops us in our tracks. “Oh my god, he did!”
I smile at her. “So, uh, I have news...Eli’s...kind of my boyfriend now.”
Without another word, she takes me by the hand and drags me towards the nearest pub as I laugh. “Drinks, and you’re telling me everything.”
I decide to join Sadie in ordering a Rekorderlig as I lay it all out for her.
My schoolgirl crush on Eli. The way he gently encouraged me to dance at the club until I was letting my freak flag fly when I’d had no intention of doing any such thing.
The kiss. The misinterpretation. The way we fixed it by honestly talking it out in a way I never have before with anyone else.
And, of course, the hours spent liplocked in his studio after everyone else went home yesterday.
Shivers of remembered pleasure echo through me as I remember the taste of him, the gentleness of his lips, the hot, tender slide of his tongue against mine.
She listens intently, eyes sparkling as she rakes in every last detail.
It’s as though she’s been anticipating this for a while, maybe even hoping for it.
“So, do you think what he said was fair?” she asks I’ve finished.
“You mean about the way I acted when he first kissed me?” She nods.
I sigh. I’ve thought about this a lot. “He’s not wrong,” I admit.
“I don’t want everything to always come back to Gav, but I did kind of go onto autopilot.
I was definitely on board, but I was very much acting the way I thought he wanted me to, rather than just letting it be what it was. ”
She squeezes my wrist, eyes softening with sympathy. “Conditioned behaviours are hard to unlearn. It’s totally understandable. But, I mean, Eli’s a great guy. You know he’d never treat you the way your dickbag ex did, right?”