Chapter 14 #2
“Oh, for sure. I’d never have been able to get this far if I even thought it was a possibility.
” I run a finger around the rim of my glass of cider as I consider the whole business.
“I’m still pretty blown away that he even picked up on it, when I didn’t realise that’s what I was doing.
I thought Leo was the perceptive one in that family, but… ” I shrug.
“Oh yeah, I mean, Leo,” she says with a fond eyeroll, “he knows everything about everyone. That man knows what you want before you even think of it. But Eli’s just as shrewd.
Sometimes I think when introversion was doled out in that gene pool, Eli got Leo’s helping, too. But he’s still got the gift.”
I smile at her description, but find myself fidgeting with my sleeve.
“I’m still scared,” I say quietly. “If I’m honest, I really wanted to be single for a while.
Relax, just be by myself for a bit so that I could take stock and rebuild to suit myself, without having to take anyone else into consideration.
But...he’s so lovely, I just couldn’t resist.” She beams at me.
“Honestly, he’s just...I couldn’t gush about him enough.
He’s the sweetest, kindest, smartest, hottest…
” Sadie giggles, and I join in a little. “But what if…”
She waits patiently after I trail off.
I make a grumbly noise, irritated by myself. “What if it’s just too soon? What if the scars are too raw, still, and I ruin it?”
She thinks for a moment, eyes wandering around the room as she contemplates her response.
I’ve seen her do that sometimes when she’s deep in thought.
“I’m not going to tell you not to worry about it,” she says, “because I would have the same thoughts if I was in your shoes. Which, by the way, are some lovely Doc Martens.” She leans down to have another look at them, and I waggle my toes.
“Cherry red. Classic.” She sits up straight again.
“But honestly, I think you’ll be OK. It’s Eli, right?
He’s good with people who need a little extra TLC.
He’s amazing with Dean when he has a breakdown.
I’m sure he can cope with whatever you throw at him. ”
She’s right, of course, but… “I wish he didn’t have to.”
“I know. But you have to play the hand you’re dealt, and Eli is an ace. A tall, muscular, sexy ace with a massive crush on you.” She chuckles as I grin and go a little pink.
“I still can’t believe he likes me back,” I admit. “I mean, look at him. He’s ridiculously hot. I swear to god my knickers burst into flames when he looks at me with those eyes…”
She laughs, loudly and unselfconsciously, drawing the bartender’s gaze.
He smiles slightly, and doesn’t look away from her right away.
Sadie draws a lot of looks from men, I’ve noticed.
Passers by while we were shopping, people in any pub we’ve ever visited, moony-eyed clients.
And I personally don’t think it’s just because she’s a stunning redhead.
Sure, that’s a factor, but she’s simply got this way about her.
It’s a friendliness, a spark, an easygoing confidence enhanced by fire that makes you want to be around her.
Wasted on Peter.
“Well, I think his pants do much the same thing whenever you give him that look. You know the one. You look up at him, and you’re all shy but smiley, and your eyelashes do this thing…
” She flutters her eyelashes a few times in different ways, but then shrugs.
“Meh. I can’t do it.” I blink. “Oh, you thought we hadn’t noticed?
” She laughs at my expression. “Babygirl, we all saw the looks, we all knew, and I guarantee you that everyone is going to be just as thrilled for you both as I am.”
“You all knew?” Oh, man…
“Yep. And we all totally shipped you both.” She finishes her cider and hands it to the bartender with a smile.
He’s randomly decided to do a sweep of glass collecting, even though there’s hardly anyone in here.
He glances my way briefly, and I take the hint and quickly finish the rest of mine while he returns his eyes to Sadie.
She skilfully ignores him, and carries on talking to me as I hand him my glass, and he has no choice but to go away.
“Just, I dunno, don’t lose sight of how he makes you feel, so that when you do have a wobble - and heaven knows you have a right to them after everything Gav put you through - you’ll have that to cling to and see you through to the other side of it. ”
I consider her words. “That’s...actually pretty wise. Thanks.”
She winks as she gathers up her things so we can leave.
“In spite of what some may tell you, I do have my moments.” A cloud passed across her eyes, but it clears as quickly as it came.
“Right, you,” she continues before I have a chance to ask her what she means, “Boots or Superdrug? It’s makeup time. ”
The next hour is a flurry of makeup counters, where I find myself focusing on lip colours more than anything.
Having stuck rigidly to unremarkable nude pinks all my life, I want to expand my horizons.
Being an artist with a good eye for colour, Sadie is the perfect person to give me advice, and she persuades me to pick up some more adventurous shades: berries, plums, and even a dark claret similar to the one she loaned me the other night.
She keeps up her usual steady stream of cheerful chatter as we follow this up with clothes shopping.
She gives me armfuls of clothes to try on in the sorts of shops that she frequents, all of which have the Camden rocker chick vibe I love and want for myself so much.
Some of the things she insists that I try are items I would never have bought before ordinarily, not because I don’t like them but because I would have thought they wouldn’t suit me.
Turns out I was wrong, and they do, which fills me with delight and excitement for my new look.
When I get home, I’m in seventh heaven as I pore over my purchases and put them away, making plans on what to wear and when.
And then it hits me.
I met her boyfriend for the first time a couple of nights ago, and neither Sadie nor I mentioned him once.
That’s odd.
Eli
So, are you gonna tell me why you’ve been grinning like Jason Momoa this entire time? Dean asks, catching his breath as we take a break mid-run. I pull the lightweight rucksack off my back and pull out two bottles of water, handing him one. I also take out my towel and run it over my face.
I grin wider and take a swallow, glad I remembered to put the bottles in the refrigerator first thing this morning. “Jason Momoa?” I ask in amusement.
Have you seen his Instagram? Non-stop smiling. But with Lisa Bonet for a wife, can’t really blame the guy, he smirks.
“Hey,” I shrug, “it’s a beautiful day. Look around you.
What’s not to smile about?” It is, actually.
The sun is shining, and there’s just enough of a breeze to be refreshing while we have a break.
The oceanfront is busy but not packed. Foxton is known nationwide for its award-winning pebble and sand beaches, and the air smells salty and fresh. I stretch, utterly contented.
Dean gives me a shrewd gimme-a-break look. Come on, man. There’s more to it than that. He squirts a little water over his face and wipes it with his hand. I’m hoping it’s that you and Em sorted out whatever was going on between you yesterday.
I grunt. “You noticed that, huh?” I take another drink, running the bottle across my forehead when I’m done.
“Yeah, we straightened it out.” Yet another grin spreads across my face.
“In fact, I went one better…” Dean raises his eyebrows, his eyes clearly saying, keep going?
“I asked her to be my girlfriend. And she said yes.”
A huge smile breaks across my cousin’s face, and he punches the air before holding his hand out for me to slap. Congrats, man. Pleased for you.
“Yeah, me too,” I say, thinking back to my little texting session with Em earlier.
Now that I’m allowed to flirt with her, my floodgates have opened and all bets are off, as far as I’m concerned.
I am going to drive my woman wild in the best possible ways, and I can’t wait. I grin as I swallow some more water.
Dean looks thoughtful. So she’s taking a chance on you.
I screw the lid back on my bottle. “Guess so.”
He smiles briefly. Well, if anyone is the right guy for the job, it’s you.
“How do you mean?”
He thinks. She’s been through a lot. Got to be honest, I thought it would take more time for her to agree to this. No offence to you, just… He waves his hand in the so-so gesture. She’s going to need a lot of reassurance. Lots of patience. And you are without a doubt the most patient guy I know.
I consider his words. He’s not wrong; she will need me to be understanding. While she comes to know first hand that I’m a completely different person from Gav the Fuckwad. “Prepared for that. She’s one hundred percent worth it.”
I think so, too. Really. I like her. I think she’s wonderful, and I think you suit each other perfectly.
Just...know what you’re looking at. You can do it.
You’re good with me, so I don’t doubt you’re capable.
Just, I dunno, make sure you get support, too.
I’ll be there if you want to talk about it.
Touched by his words, I hold my fist out, and we bump knuckles. People often remark on how much I gave up for my cousin - dropping out of college, emigrating - but he gives back a great deal. He’s always got my back, and I’ve never regretted stepping up for him for a second.
So I gotta ask, he says as we finish off our drinks, why are you on a run with me when you could be with her?
I lift one side of my mouth. “Honestly? I asked her if she was busy, and she said she was. Can’t say I wasn’t a little disappointed, but I also respect the fact that she had other stuff to do, and I don’t want her to feel suffocated, or like I’m some demanding-ass Gav type who’ll insist she cancels her plans to suit me.
She needs to feel free to be herself and to do her own thing, y’know? ”
He purses his mouth and nods as he stretches his hamstring, understanding completely. Sure, that makes sense, he says.
“But what I am gonna do,” I continue, “is swing by her place tomorrow morning so I can walk her to work.” I smile a little in anticipation. “I mean, maybe I should ask her first? I dunno, just thought it would be nice to surprise her.”
He nods. Do it. The surprise thing is romantic. I think she’ll like it. He gives me an uneasy look, and stops stretching. Hey man, I… He sighs. I have a confession.
I frown. “OK?” I ask. This is unusual.
He looks me in the eye. I told her about Charmaine.
I blink. OK, that was unexpected.
I could see how miserable you both were yesterday, and I wanted to help.
I realize it wasn’t my place, but… He stretches his neck, looking sheepish.
I thought she needed to know that she wasn’t the only one who’d had it rough.
I didn't go into chapter and verse or nothing, but she knows the score. And...well, she took it on board, and now you guys have sorted shit out, so although I feel bad for spilling my guts, I’m also. ..not really sorry.
Hmm. “I respect that,” I tell him quietly.
“I’m...well, I'm not crazy about you telling her, but I guess I can’t be that mad if it helped.
” I take a deep breath. Dean's normally a fortress of discretion, but I understand he had the best of intentions. “It came from a good place,” I say at last, “and I get it. Just...please don’t do it again.”
He grins. Man, if I’m right, there’ll be no reason for me to ever mention it to anyone again. Because you know and I know...she’s your girl. I think she’s, you know, it. For you.
“She’s my lobster,” I joke. We watched a lot of Friends reruns while Dean was in recovery, so I know he’ll get the reference right away.
I really do think Emily’s The One. I’ve never been so crazy or so sure about a woman before. Ever. And the thought doesn’t scare me at all. It’s more exhilarating than any runner’s high I’ve ever experienced. I want this. I want her, and I don't envision that ever changing.
We finish the run in companionable silence, while I’m mentally composing my next text to her.