Chapter 2
Liv
August, Freshman Year
Olivia Palmer was sitting in her empty dorm room, listening to the commotion as other students moved into their dorms, and she was absolutely ecstatic. She’d never done anything on her own. She’d never been allowed to, really, but here she was, in Michigan of all places, by herself.
She felt like she could take on a new life here.
Her parents hadn’t even insisted on escorting her, like she thought they would.
They’d let her climb on an airplane, with just her backpack and a carryon suitcase, with the promise that they’d send several boxes of her things to meet her in the coming days, as long as she signed the contract that they had written up, committing to things like visits home and a summer internship at her dad’s company.
That’s all, and she was alone, for the first time in her life.
Well, alone was a slight exaggeration, she supposed, given the mess of stuff on the other side of the room.
She hadn’t met her roommate yet, but she was looking forward to all the cheesy experiences: borrowing clothes, sharing makeup, late night hangouts.
She wanted nothing more than a normal college experience.
Sharing a room was something she’d have to get used to, though, which she was reminded of when the door flew open, and a whirlwind of energy swirled into the room.
“Hey, I’m Quinn,” the girl said, her smile wide, hazel eyes flashing with kindness as she stretched out her hand to shake. “I just threw my stuff on one side, but if you have a preference, I could totally move.”
“I’m Olivia Palmer. Liv, please. And no worries,” Liv replied quietly, taking Quinn’s hand and shaking gently.
As their palms met, Liv took in the full effect of her roommate: a few inches taller than her own 5’5”, wearing long navy blue shorts, past her knees, covered in pockets, with a clip handing off her belt loop, keys jangling, and a white Livingston State University T-shirt, boxy but rolled snug on her upper arms, showing off a surprising amount of muscle, her golden brown hair pulled back into a messy low ponytail, with light freckles splashed across her friendly face.
She didn’t carry herself carefully, or try not to take up space, like Liv had been trained to do, and Liv felt drawn to her in a way she didn’t fully understand. “I’m happy to take this one.”
With that, she set her suitcase on the open bed and started to unpack.
“Is that all you brought? Or, are your parents parking and bringing more up?” Quinn asked her .
Liv shook her head. “I flew in by myself. They’re shipping a few boxes in the next few days, but my dad couldn’t take the time away.”
“I totally get it. I’m on my own today, too,” Quinn said, still with that magnetic grin splashed across her face. “But I’m only a couple of hours away from home, so I stuffed my car to the gills. There’s a bunch more downstairs, actually…I may have gone a bit overboard.”
She said this last part, scanning her stuff, as if suddenly aware they were meant to coexist in a fairly small space for the year, looking over at Liv and her single carry-on suitcase.
She must’ve rationalized it or assumed that they’d find a way to make the tight fit work, because she continued chattering away.
"I'm one of five kids," Quinn said cheerfully. "So, my parents couldn’t break away today, either.”
“ One of five ?”
“Yup! Peter and Nico are five years younger than me; they just turned?thirteen. And Everlee and Juliette will be eight in a couple of weeks."
Liv felt her eyes bulge out of her head. “Two sets of twins? I can’t imagine.”
“They’re all a lot, but I love those little idiots,” Quinn said, fondness seeping into her tone regardless of the harsh word she used for her siblings. “My parents are always busy, though, with the littles, so I kind of try to stay as out of their way as possible to make things easier for them.”
“That makes a lot of sense,” Liv said.
“What about you?” Quinn asked. “Any siblings?”
Liv didn’t want to talk about that, so she chose to go with a half-truth. “My parents get to focus all their attention on me at this point. It’s a little overwhelming.”
“I can’t imagine,” Quinn parroted back. “Where are you from?”
“I grew up in a suburb outside of Chicago,” Liv answered .
“Oh, so not too far,” Quinn said, beaming at her. “I love Chicago.”
“It has its merits,” Liv allowed. She gestured to Quinn’s shirt. “So, we’re very excited to be Livingston State University students, rocking the spirit wear on your first day on campus.”
Quinn laughed. “I am super excited! But, to be fair, it’s not my first day. They opened the dorms early for student athletes. Practices started the beginning of last week.”
“I’m surprised they didn’t room you together with other athletes, then,” Liv said, though for reasons she couldn’t pin down, she wasn’t disappointed about the random assignment.
“I actually asked my coach about that,” Quinn replied. “I thought it might be easier for scheduling and stuff, but I guess they’ve had issues in the past, teammates not jiving and having no space from each other, so they stopped purposely putting teammates together.”
“I guess that could be hard,” Liv said. She had finished unpacking. “I’m getting kind of hungry. Do you want to go grab some food?”
“I will literally never turn down that offer,” Quinn stated. “The cafeteria in the building next door is food court style, with lots of different options. Does that work?”
“Sounds great,” Liv told her, and she followed Quinn out of the room.
“Are you sure that’s all you want?” Quinn asked as Liv sat down next to her in the cafeteria with a simple salad.
To make her point clear, Quinn took a bite of giant sandwich before continuing to speak.
“I am not trying to pressure you, but you said you were hungry, and that doesn’t look particularly filling. ”
“I like salads,” Liv assured her. “Plus, I think I just need to ease into all of these options. Can’t go home at Christmas having put on the freshman fifteen!”
“First of all, please don’t body shame yourself,” Quinn said, adding after eyeing Liv up and down, “And second, I’m sure you’re going to be okay. ”
Liv wasn’t sure exactly how to feel about what Quinn said.
There was a level of embarrassment, sure.
She didn’t want to think about her body that way, but that kind of commentary was what she was used to with her female friends.
And then, there was something about how Quinn had looked at her… It made her ears warm.
They ate in silence for a few minutes, and Liv realized that it was the first time Quinn had stopped talking all afternoon. She needed to change the subject, so she cleared her throat and asked, “What’s your sport?”
“I’m here on a swimming scholarship, actually,” Quinn answered. “Well, part swimming, part academics.”
“So, do you swim every day?” Liv asked. They’d finished their meals and worked together to clean off the table before heading outside to walk back to their dorm.
“As much as I can,” Quinn replied. “I have a ton of energy and I need to stay busy. Been thinking about taking up running in the off-season, too.”
“I can help with that! I love to run,” Liv said, proud that she had something that she could offer Quinn.
“Excellent. Weird, but excellent. My ex-girlfriend was in cross country. She tried, but I was too busy with swim.”
Liv stopped in her tracks, shocked by what Quinn had said. It’s not like she didn’t know that gay people existed, obviously, but she’d never been friends with a gay…and she’d certainly never had someone say something so casually homosexual to her.
“Hey, are you okay?” Quinn asked, turning to her when she noticed that Liv wasn’t following. “Did I say something… Oh.”
Liv could see Quinn realize, with perfect clarity, what had set her off. Her entire chest deflated, and she seemed to shrink several inches. It was like her glow just…dimmed.
“I’m…I’m sorry. I thought you knew. I mean…” Quinn waved her arms, gesturing across her own face and body. “You see me, right? I just assume people know. I have a carabiner clipped to my shorts, for God’s sake. I’m a walking stereotype… I’m sorry.”
Liv took a moment to look Quinn over: her long, loose shorts, her simple baggy T-shirt, and, yes, her keys on that clip, apparently some sort of gay in-joke.
She wasn’t familiar with all the stereotypes, but now that Quinn mentioned it, there was certainly an aesthetic that Liv would’ve classified as “tomboy” prior to this conversation.
She felt like an absolute moron.
“Why would you be sorry?” Liv replied, careful with her words, trying to keep her tone even. “I was just…surprised.”
They could both hear how stilted her words were, and there was a sudden, unexpected wedge between them. Quietly, they climbed the stairs to their room, but as soon as they sat down on their respective beds, Quinn jumped up.
“Hey, I just remembered…I’m supposed to meet my friend, Emma, at the gym for a leg workout.”
“Quinn, you don’t have to go,” Liv said, somehow feeling like she had ruined the first good thing in her life in as long as she could remember.
“No, it’s okay,” Quinn said, though it clearly wasn’t okay. Liv watched as she grabbed a duffel bag before turning back, a small, sad smile on her face. “I’ll see you later.”
With that, she left, and Liv felt truly alone for the first time all day.
She didn’t want to cry, though a few tears slipped out.
What she wanted to do was call her sister, but as it wasn’t an option—that truth alone causing a ripple of pain through her chest—she decided to go for a walk to clear her head.
She couldn’t just sit in her dorm room by herself, not on her first day of freedom, and not when it felt so lonely in the absence of Quinn’s larger-than-life presence.
Liv wandered over to the bookstore, walking up and down the aisles, seeing many of the other new students shopping with their parents. It didn’t make her miss her own family, exactly, but it did make her nostalgic for a memory she’d never have.
Her mind circled back to Quinn, and she felt the weight of her mistake again.
She needed to find a way to say she was sorry, to let Quinn know that she’d do her best to not continue being a complete ass.
Sure, they had only just met, but they were supposed to be roommates for the entire school year.
It wasn’t just that, though. Liv felt terrible, and she genuinely did not want to ruin her chance at a friendship with the first person that she had instantly clicked with since maybe grade school.
Liv made her way over to the apparel section of the bookstore.
It was a small gesture, but based on her immediate impression of Quinn, she didn’t think that her new friend would begrudge a silly token, especially if it came with a genuine apology.
She grabbed a few things, guessing Quinn’s size, adding a Livingston State University hoodie for herself to the stack as well.
A few hours later, Quinn returned to their room.
She was freshly showered, and she’d changed into black sweatpants and yet another school T-shirt, this one a heather grey.
She smelled like eucalyptus and mint, but the thing Liv most noticed, beyond all of that, was how happy she felt to see her roommate.
That, and how guarded Quinn looked compared to earlier that day.
“What’s this?” Quinn said, holding up the gifts: a T-shirt, a baseball cap, and a hoodie, all with their school logo.
“Well…I wanted to apologize,” Liv explained. Quinn raised her eyebrows at her, though she seemed touched by the gesture. There was a genuine quality to this new person in her life, and Liv wanted to dig in, to hold on to her as best she could. “Can we talk for a minute?”
“Of course,” Quinn said quietly, holding the hat like it was a treasure. She gestured for them to sit facing each other on their opposing beds .
“My parents are…conservative,” Liv started, after several seconds of silence, words carefully measured. “Not in the extreme religious way, but—"
“In the wildly rich kind of way,” Quinn offered up. “It’s not exactly a surprise. I may not know many major brands, but even I recognized the logo on your suitcase.”
“You didn’t say anything,” Liv replied, surprised.
Quinn scrunched up her face. “Who would say something? It was none of my business.”
“Well. My parents, yes, they’re wealthy, and they’ve always seemed pretty traditional. I’ve mostly been surrounded by people like them, and I’ve never had a friend come out to me like you did. I mean, you didn’t even really come out to me, but…I handled it badly, and I’m sorry.”
“I don’t need you to be sorry,” Quinn said, but she was clearly still upset. She took a deep breath before continuing, “But I do need you to be honest with me here. If you want, I can put in a request to switch rooms. Like…I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I absolutely do not want that,” Liv said, and if there was only one thing in her life she was sure of, this was it.
“If I’m being honest, I’ve been pretty sheltered, and there’s a lot I’m going to have to get used to.
But that’s why I’m here. I came here for a change.
I’m really sorry if I hurt you, Quinn, but…
I like you. I hope you’ll give me another shot. ”
It took a moment, maybe just the slightest hint of a moment, for Quinn’s face to light up again. “I’m all about second chances. Can we make a deal, though?”
“Of course, anything,” Liv said without thinking, though she knew it was true once the words were out of her mouth. She didn’t yet know her well, but she never wanted to be the person to dim Quinn’s sparkle ever again.
“I appreciate the gifts, but I don’t have a lot of money—or much time to work—with swim. I’d prefer you not buy me stuff in the future. Can we just try to talk things out if issues pop up?”
Liv had never had a person in her life like Quinn.
Most of her friends back home came from families almost as well off as hers, so she’d never needed to consider that type of imbalance.
And honestly, she couldn’t imagine any of those people preferring honest communication with Liv over material gifts, though Liv couldn’t think of anyone she’d let close enough to have real conflict.
“I love to buy presents for people, but if those are your terms, I suppose I can be amenable,” Liv said finally.
Quinn grinned as she reached out to shake on the deal. “I feel like we’re going to be good for each other.”
Liv had no doubt about that. She was going to make sure it was true.