Chapter 3
Liv
Now
“Do you want to grab a drink with me?” Audrey asked as Liv approached. “I just have to double check that the team knows what we want set up for tomorrow, and I’ll be all set.”
“Mmhmm, a drink sounds excellent,” Liv answered, trying to take steady breaths to keep herself from tearing up.
Over the last ten years, Liv had imagined seeing Quinn again in many different ways.
There were times that she thought that they’d greet each other with a hug, to reminisce about the good old days.
Other times, they were naked less than ten minutes from first seeing each other again, in what could only be described as her thirstiest fantasies.
One time, she had an extremely vivid dream that she bumped into her at the grocery store, and Quinn introduced Liv to her pregnant wife. She woke up in the middle of the night, sick to her stomach, unable to fall back asleep.
But never once, in all the scenarios she let roll through her mind, had it occurred to her that Quinn might pretend they didn’t know each other . She wished Quinn had yelled, wished she’d made a scene. To act like they’d never been anything to each other… That truly hurt.
Objectively, she knew Quinn didn’t owe her anything. What happened between them was a long time ago, and it had ended badly.
And, sure. She was on the committee that chose the workshops for this conference.
And maybe she had a hand in selecting the Prism Group and their pitch for a training, although she had to admit that their proposal was truly excellent, and they probably would have been picked anyway, if their application had been presented to the committee, but still .
This was information that Quinn never had to know.
Just like Quinn didn’t have to know that Liv had watched their video on YouTube dozens of times, at least , and that every time the clip cut to Quinn with that excellent haircut, she wanted to run her fingers through her hair, even more so now that she’d seen her in person, all fresh coiffure and perfect body and-
Nope, not going there. She didn’t need to think about that, not when her body was already responding to seeing Quinn in ways Liv needed to get under control.
While waiting for Audrey to wrap up her conversation with the event coordinator assigned to support them throughout the week of the conference, Liv’s dad finished chatting with the benefits rep who ran their Employee Assistance Program and made his way over to Liv.
“That was a pretty good kickoff,” he said, and she nodded her agreement. “This is my favorite week of the year.”
“I’m glad you enjoy it, Dad,” Liv replied, desperately hoping that he didn’t sense her distraction. These were the pros and cons of working with so many people she was close to, she supposed. There was a greater risk that they could see through her facade.
Maybe it was strange, but she honestly loved what they did.
Her dad had started J he looked exhausted. He kissed Liv’s forehead and walked toward the elevators in the opposite direction of the hotel bar.
The room was dark when they walked in, and Liv made a beeline for the bar, hopping onto a stool, grateful that the bartender seemed to understand her urgency, taking their orders straight away.
“I feel like I need to order an Old Fashioned since we’re in Chicago,” Audrey said .
“White wine would be great. I’m not picky,” Liv added, and he got to work, quickly setting a drink in front of each of them.
Liv handed him her card and fished out a few bills to lay down for a tip.
As soon as her fingers wrapped around the stem of her glass, Liv lifted it to her lips and took an inappropriately large swallow.
“Um, we’re toasting here,” Audrey said, scandalized that Liv took a drink before she could make a little speech. Audrey lifted her glass. “To J&P, happy conference week!”
“Happy conference week,” Liv said before she clinked her glass against Audrey’s and took another gulp of her wine.
“You seem stressed,” Audrey stated, eyeing Liv over the rim of her glass.
Another person who knew her too well.
When people first met Audrey, they often got the impression that she was sort of…
vapid might be the right word. Liv’s ‘little’ cousin, because five years felt like a lifetime when they were growing up, was stunningly beautiful.
A petite blonde bombshell with piercing blue eyes, she had a habit of saying the wrong thing, constantly putting her foot in her mouth, which sometimes also gave the impression that she was callous.
But when you got to know her, she was genuinely sweet.
And more, it was in actionable ways, like forcing the company they’d both grown up in to launch an official charitable foundation and taking the reins on making sure that they were building community programs in as many locations as possible.
Audrey made it her personal mission to visit the major J&P offices across the country and ensure that the values her team espoused were truly lived by employees at all levels of the organization.
They’d been close as kids, but with everything Liv had been through in her teens and early twenties, she found herself putting up walls with Audrey.
It was easier now, with them based in different parts of the country—Liv in the company headquarters, located about an hour from where they were sitting, and Audrey on assignment building her team in Atlanta.
But sitting right in front of her, it was hard for Liv to maintain her mask.
“Oh, actually, hold that thought,” Audrey whispered, amused, peeking over Liv’s shoulder to a table halfway tucked into the corner. “I think that woman is checking you out.”
Liv tried to cover her gasp. She had to be talking about Quinn. Liv must have missed her when they’d walked in, her focus singularly on getting to the bar. When she turned, though, it was Quinn’s friend, her partner , who was looking over at them.
Audrey laughed. “She’s actually kind of hot. In that, like, androgynous, rock star, sort of…Ruby Rose kind of way. And she was flirting with me at registration.”
Olivia had to pick her jaw off the floor. “You know who Ruby Rose is?”
“Have I been living under a rock?” Audrey replied. “If someone who looks like that wanted to eat me out, I think I could suffer through it.”
Liv wished that the situation was different, because the impression that Audrey was giving, with her tone, with her serious expression… It was clear she thought that she was saying something deeply philosophical. Unfortunately, Liv wasn’t sure she was in the right headspace to tease her.
“I’m not quite sure how to respond to that,” Olivia muttered.
“Liv, come on. Gay people exist. You’re being so weird about them.”
“You just said you’d let a woman go down on you, and you think I’m the one acting weird?
” Olivia didn’t mean that how it sounded, and she regretted the words instantly, speaking again before her cousin had the chance to call her out.
“I’m not homophobic. I don’t think it’s weird. I think it’s weird that YOU said it.”
“Why,” Audrey replied. “I’ve totally made out with my girlfriends before. It doesn’t have to mean anything serious. ”
Liv raised her eyebrows at her. “I feel like that’s much more homophobic than anything I said, honestly.”
“Huh,” Audrey replied, pausing as if replaying her comment, genuinely thinking about what Liv had said before shrugging it off. “Well, she’s definitely checking you out.”
“She said she’s here with her partner,” Liv grumbled. She didn’t want to care, and she knew she probably sounded like a brat, though she didn’t think her cousin would guess why. “They were holding hands when I walked up to them.”
“Yeah, her business partner,” Audrey said. “She was very clear about that. Like I said. Flirting.”
Liv hated that she perked up at that, hated that her body responded, and she took a moment to remind herself that none of this mattered.
Quinn hadn’t even acknowledged they knew each other.
Whatever she thought would happen if they were in the same room again, whatever she’d hoped for, it wasn’t happening this week, and she needed to get over it.
“See, there you go. Not together,” she heard Audrey say, through her haze.
When she turned back towards them, Mel had stood, her arm around another woman.
She saw her hold out her fist, and Quinn bumped it with her own, leaning forward enough that Liv could finally see her.
“I’m going to run to the restroom, feel free to grab a second round. ”
They hadn’t finished the first round, but Liv wasn’t opposed to that option. She gestured to the bartender, asking for another drink for each of them.
“You can put those on my tab,” Quinn said, approaching behind her.
There had always been something about Quinn, from the first minute that they met, something about her presence that took up space, even before Liv understood why Quinn affected her like that. It hadn’t diminished, not in all their time apart.
“Hey, I’m glad you’re here,” Quinn said. Her words made Liv’s pulse race, but she couldn’t respond, afraid that she would say the wrong thing. “I’m sorry about earlier. I hadn’t told Mel about our history and I kind of…panicked. But…I explained things to her tonight, or I started to, at least.”
“Is she angry?” Liv asked tentatively.
“Oh, she’s upset, but I suspect that she’ll work out some of her frustration tonight,” Quinn said, gesturing in the direction her friend had left with the other woman.
Liv’s eyes went wide at her words, heat settling low in her belly.
“Hey. It’s not an excuse, but I wasn’t my best self tonight, and I didn’t handle it well. ”
“It’s okay,” Liv said, maybe too quickly. She thought for a moment before she added, “I’ve also been known to panic and not handle things the best on occasion.”
“I remember,” Quinn said, but it wasn’t unkind. They held each other’s gaze for several charged moments.
“I’m sorry too,” Liv said, the first one to break. “I should have given you your space. I just saw you, and I couldn’t believe it…”
“Yeah, it’s been a while,” Quinn acknowledged, a heaviness in her voice.
“Yeah. You cut your hair,” Liv said, and then she cringed. You cut your hair? What a totally stupid thing to say after ten years.
Quinn just smiled at her, though, and it was painfully familiar. “I did.”
“It looks great,” Liv said.
When Quinn blushed, Liv’s stomach erupted with butterflies. The fact that this version of her could make this version of Quinn blush… She felt that power skitter deliciously throughout her body.
“You also look great,” Quinn said, her voice practically a whisper, and Liv felt her gaze in every part of her body. Only for a second, though, before Quinn shook her head, clearing her throat, shaking her head at the thought, and murmured, “Your husband is a lucky guy. ”
Liv had never experienced a true record-scratch, world stopping moment before, but that’s how she felt at this second. Because Quinn thought she was married ? The fuck?
“Wait, I’m not—" Liv started.
“I should go,” Quinn cut her off, and it only took a moment for her to realize it was because Audrey was headed back. Quinn gestured for her check from the bartender.
“Quinn, we should talk,” Liv said, and she heard the desperation in her voice, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
“We don’t have to get personal,” Quinn replied, signing the receipt. She downed the rest of her drink, setting the cup down on the counter, before turning back to Liv. “Have a nice night.”
Liv wanted to follow after her, to chase her down and make her listen, but she felt stuck in her seat, aware that she couldn’t be the only one who wanted to talk. And if Quinn came here thinking that she had a whole husband … She was just so confused.
“Okay, she is also kind of hot,” Audrey said, as she took her seat back next to Liv, her eyes on Quinn as she walked out of the bar.
Liv had the urge to throw her wine in her cousin’s face.
It was going to be a long week.