Chapter 14
Liv
September, Sophomore Year
Liv and Quinn were both glad to be back at school, returning to the rhythm of being on campus the first week of classes.
They were getting more into their major-specific subjects—of her five courses that semester, only one was a gen ed requirement—and Liv was strangely excited to use her experience from the summer to help her better understand the subject matter in her business management classes.
She was still surprised by how well the internship had gone.
She’d known she’d be working for her family, but now that she’d gotten a taste of it, she wasn’t dreading it as much as she thought she would.
It had helped, she was certain, that her parents had been traveling, her dad busy working on a deal to acquire a similar business in South America that would allow the company to expand, her mom tagging along for the ride.
She found that she kind of… liked the work she did that summer.
She understood that she had an unfair advantage when it came to her peers, that she was all but guaranteed a job when she graduated.
But she wanted to do well, to not be given the job because of her last name, not because of her family, but because she actually deserved it.
And it had, all things considered, been a successful summer.
She had missed Quinn, though, and somehow, she felt that ache even more being back with her. Quinn’s energy, her positivity, her vibrance—it pulled her in, like she was a lowly planet orbiting the sun .
They didn’t talk about Scarlet, and that was fine.
It wasn’t new, really. After the party the previous year, Quinn’s relationship had become taboo.
Quinn never brought up her girlfriend over the summer, either.
For all Liv knew, they drove to see each other all the time, and Quinn just never mentioned it to her.
And Liv was good with that arrangement, with Scarlet fading into the background noise of her life, until she walked into the first day of her history class, American History Since World War II, and saw Scarlet already planted in the room.
She was on the far side of the classroom, towards the very front, and it was obvious she’d seen Liv walking in. Liv was torn. She didn’t want to be explicitly rude and ignore Scarlet, but she also did not want to sit with her.
For Quinn, though, she could suck it up and be nice. She made her way over, setting her things down on the desk next to Scarlet.
“What are you doing?” Scarlet asked as Liv sat down. The disdain on her face shouldn’t have been shocking, but somehow it still was. Liv had thought they could pretend to be civil, for Quinn’s sake.
Clearly, she cared more about her roommate’s feelings than Quinn’s own girlfriend. Though that part wasn’t at all surprising.
Liv didn’t know how to respond, but she was given a reprieve as the professor stepped up to the front of the room to start class.
Through the professor’s introduction speech and his recitation of the syllabus, Liv kept sneaking glances at Scarlet. Every time she did so, the other woman was pointedly looking away from her, although Liv occasionally heard her whispering under her breath, irritated.
“Do you have a problem with me sitting here?” Liv asked as soon as the class ended .
“We don’t have to pretend to like each other,” Scarlet spat at her, shoving her notebook forcefully into her bag.
“I’m sorry,” Liv said, although she wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for. “I just thought, you know. We could try to be cordial. For Quinn?”
Why did she have to explain this to Scarlet?
Scarlet was confused. “I don’t have to do anything for Quinn. I broke up with her.”
“ You broke up with her ?” Now, Liv was the one befuddled. “But she’s amazing.”
Scarlet rolled her eyes at that, but something about Liv’s confusion provided her clarity. She nodded, Liv watching as her face morphed into an unkind smile. “Yeah. She didn’t tell you, did she? That makes a lot of sense, actually.”
“What do you mean?” She knew, of course, that she shouldn’t expect a real answer from Scarlet, but she had to ask all the same.
“If I spent all of my time pining for a straight girl, instead of enjoying my actual queer partner, I’d be embarrassed to tell people, too,” Scarlet said, looking her up and down to make sure that Liv was fully taking in her message, that she understood the implication behind her words, to make it clear that Liv was the ‘straight girl’ in her statement.
When she saw whatever she wanted to see on Liv’s face, she added with a huff, “Don’t sit with me again. ”
And then Scarlet just walked out, like she hadn’t just completely imploded Liv’s entire world.
Because Quinn wasn’t pining after her. She wasn’t .
Quinn wasn’t pining after anyone, first of all.
Pining implied some sort of devastating, life-stopping longing, and Quinn was a whole, incredible, happy person.
She was sunshine and fun and joy, a little bit dorky and a lot beautiful, and when she was away from Scarlet, she positively glowed.
Quinn seemed good .
And Scarlet suggesting that she was somehow pining over Liv was even more ridiculous . It was.
Sure. There were times when Liv thought Quinn might be looking at her in decidedly more-than-friendly ways. She’d called her hot before, and Liv had even noticed Quinn watching her lips in a way that made her feel off balance.
But even if Quinn was attracted to her, that didn’t mean she was pining. She’d certainly never tried anything. Had she said something specific to Scarlet to make her think…
No, it wasn’t going to help her at all to wonder. And there was a more pressing issue here, one that also demanded Liv’s attention.
Why hadn’t Quinn told Liv that she and Scarlet were no longer together? Why keep that from her? Had Liv given her any reason to feel embarrassed, like Scarlet suggested? Had she somehow been a bad friend?
That was the worry that was echoing through her mind when Quinn walked into their dorm that night, late from a long practice.
She was wearing a tank top, her sweatpants slung low on her hips, and she looked so good that Liv had to remind herself that they needed to have this conversation, regardless of how uncomfortable it was. Regardless of how handsome Quinn was in this moment.
Quinn greeted her brightly. “How was your day?”
“Fine,” Liv replied, and she knew her answer was short. She moved from her desk to her bed, fidgeting with her pillows, then her blanket, trying to work up the energy to say what she needed to say.
“Are you okay?” Quinn asked. “You’re kind of…twitchy?”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you and Scarlet broke up?” Okay, so she was just going to say it, then, consequences be damned .
Quinn, who had been rifling through her gym bag, stopped still. She sat down on her own bed, opposite Liv, though she was staring at the wall behind her. “Did Emma say something to you?”
“No, your jerk of an ex is in my history class. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to make it a big deal about it,” Quinn answered, her voice small.
“Okay, but you not telling me makes it seem like a much bigger deal. Especially since you just said Emma already knows.” Liv tried not to be jealous about that.
They were friends as a group, but they also had their own individual sets of friendships that were special and unique, and it was okay, it was okay , that Quinn confided in Emma. Still… “What’s up, Quinn?”
“She ended it in like…July,” Quinn said, awkwardly pushing the hair that had escaped her ponytail out of her face.
“July!” She moved from her own bed to Quinn’s, leaving space between their bodies but reaching out to put a comforting hand on Quinn’s arm, trying to ignore the tingles she felt at the contact. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, Liv, it’s been like two months,” Quinn replied. Well, sure. This wasn’t new information for Quinn to process, like it was for her.
“Is there a reason that you didn’t tell me?” Liv asked quietly. Quinn grimaced, and Liv’s stomach dropped. “Did I do something to make you feel like you couldn’t trust me?”
“No.” Quinn answered firmly, and her gaze shifted so she was looking directly into Liv’s eyes, as if she needed to be sure this message was delivered clearly. “Don’t do that. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was in my head about it.”
Liv held her gaze for a long time, each of them stock-still. It was several moments before Liv spoke.
“She kind of made it sound like the breakup might have had something to do with…me. ”
Quinn turned away again, clearly irritated. “What exactly did she say?”
Liv shouldn’t have brought this up. She didn’t want to upset Quinn, and honestly, she didn’t exactly know what was going to happen if she opened this Pandora’s box…but a part of her needed to know. She couldn’t stop thinking about what Scarlet had said.
“That you were too busy pining for a straight girl to see how good she was for you.”
That was the gist, anyway.
Quinn’s cheeks flushed, and Liv was momentarily distracted by how cute she was. “That’s…pretty embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing that she said it?” Liv asked carefully. Her hand, she realized, was still on Quinn’s arm. She'd started running her fingertips up and down subconsciously, tracing the line of muscle. “Or something else?”
“Does it matter?” Quinn asked, barely a whisper. “You don’t date, and I think that’s what I need this year, too. I don’t need to get wrapped up in another toxic situation.”
“That makes a lot of sense,” Liv said, and she finally let her hand drop. She was about to get up, to return to her own side of the room, but then… “What if we…don’t date…together?”
“I have literally no idea what you mean by that,” Quinn replied.
Clearly, Liv just needed to be honest with her. “I’m attracted to you. I know you have to know that, I mean, come on. Look at you! You’re gorgeous, and I’m basically obsessed with your arms. Like… I do not write poetry about them, okay, but I can imagine that a more artistic person might.”