Chapter 19
Liv
Now
Regardless of how humiliated she was, she knew that she needed to address this, to apologize as soon as possible.
They only had a couple days left together in Chicago, and even if Quinn chose to avoid her for the rest of the conference, which she had to admit would be entirely fair, Liv didn’t want her stupidity from the previous night hanging over their heads.
When the hotel room door opened, she had to remind herself to breathe.
It had been ages since she’d seen Quinn so casual, dressed only in a white tee and grey sweatpants, her feet bare and hair wet.
From the shower? Or maybe a morning swim, Liv guessed, smelling a hint of chlorine in the air, a scent Liv still had a visceral reaction to after so many years living with Quinn.
“How did you know my room number?” Quinn asked, sounding amused.
Liv didn’t bother to answer the question. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night. ”
Quinn motioned for her to come in, but barely followed her when she closed the door, keeping several feet of space between them. “Apologize for what, exactly?”
“Well, to borrow your phrase from earlier this week, I wasn’t my best self,” Liv replied. “It wasn’t just that I was drinking, though, obviously, that had an impact on how I was acting.”
“Mmhmm,” was all Quinn gave her.
“Seeing you has brought up some…feelings,” Liv said. Quinn’s face changed at that, though it was hard to read. That thought alone devastated Liv. Quinn had always been such an easy read for her. “And I had it in my head that, well…that you were maybe feeling the same things.”
Quinn raised her eyebrows. “Did you think we were going to have sex last night?”
“The idea had occurred to me,” Liv admitted. She didn’t want to be this honest, but there was something about being here with Quinn and her softness that broke her open.
“I’m honestly kind of insulted that you thought I would hook up with you like that.”
“Am I so hideous in my old age?” Liv responded, knowing full well that’s not what Quinn meant, enjoying the thrill that shot through her body at the way Quinn responded to her.
“Definitely not,” she said, as if she couldn’t stop herself, her jaw tensing. “But you were drinking. You have to know that I would never do that.”
Liv steeled herself, lifting her chin, feigning a confidence that she wished she felt.
She shouldn’t say it. She knew she was going to make a fool of herself again, and she was here for the very purpose of apologizing for her foolishness.
Still, she met Quinn’s gaze and softly spoke. “I’m not drunk now.”
It was like that was the final straw, the thing that made Quinn snap. The next thing Liv knew, she was up against the wall, Quinn’s body pressed into her, Quinn’s thigh pushed firmly between her own as she roughly pulled Liv’s leg up around her waist.
Quinn hadn’t even put her mouth on her yet, and Liv knew she was already soaked.
“Are you sure you want this?” Quinn asked, her voice rough and low.
“Fuck, yes,” Liv gasped. She wanted to tell her that she’d never been more sure of anything in her whole life, that she’d always known she wanted Quinn.
“How much?” Quinn pushed back.
“Quinn, I want you. So much, please.” She didn’t care that she was begging. She couldn’t keep herself from grinding against Quinn’s leg.
“No. Show me.” Quinn stepped back, the distance allowing her to reach down and undo the button on Liv’s pants.
She took Liv’s own hand and guided it down the front, and oh…
Liv got it. She ran her index and middle fingers through her own folds and then slowly pulled out, showing Quinn how totally coated she was.
Quinn whimpered at the sight before she regained control. She sucked Liv’s dripping fingers into her mouth, and it was Liv’s turn to whimper as Quinn twisted her tongue around her digits.
“Quinn, please,” Liv begged, her voice ragged.
“You’re this wet for me?” Quinn asked.
Liv noted the awe in her voice. “I’ve been wet for you all week.”
At that, Quinn dropped to her knees, pulling Liv’s pants and lacy boy shorts down as she went, sliding her clothes off over her shoes.
Liv was aware that she must look ridiculous in just her top, socks, and black patent loafers, but she could not bring herself to care.
And when Quinn’s mouth found her pussy, she lost all sense of reality, lifting her leg again, this time to dangle over Quinn’s shoulder .
The way Quinn moved was not sweet, not soft.
Liv had the distinct feeling that she was truly being devoured, as Quinn alternated between pushing her tongue inside her, her entire face pressed between her legs, and moving up to suck and tongue at her clit.
Every time Liv thought it couldn’t get better, Quinn would shift, change the angle or the pace, and take her even higher, all serving to remind Liv that this was her Quinn, the person who, still, on some level, knew her better than anyone else.
Liv twisted her fingers into Quinn’s cropped hair and pulled her in even closer.
It was unlike anything they’d ever done before.
Or, maybe that wasn’t fair, maybe it was just that her memories didn’t hold a candle to the real thing, to having Quinn here, with her mouth against her, on her knees, worshipping her body.
One of Quinn’s hands wound up her front, roughly grasping her breast, tugging at her nipple through her bra, and she didn’t let up, not as Liv cried out her name, not as she shuddered against the wall, not as Quinn herself had to hold Liv up so that she could continue taking her with her mouth, Liv’s legs complete jelly.
She worked her softly through each aftershock, and when Quinn moved to dive back in, Liv’s whole body jumped at the slightest touch to her clit.
“Okay, okay,” Liv breathed out, pulling Quinn’s hair hard enough that her mouth disconnected from Liv’s body. “I need a minute.”
For just a moment, Quinn paused, her forehead against Liv’s belly button.
Liv felt her breath, hot and moist, right between her legs, and then, without much effort, Quinn stood, looping her arms under Liv and turning, all but tossing her indelicately on the bed.
Liv let out a squeal as Quinn lifted her, and another as she deposited her on the bed, Quinn finally sliding Liv’s shoes and socks off.
“Take off your shirt. I want to see all of you. ”
“I’m so sensitive right now,” Liv said, though she followed Quinn’s direction and unbuttoned her shirt, pulling it off and discarding her bra along the way.
“And,” Quinn replied, eyebrows lifted, and she moved her hand up Liv’s leg.
It was a challenge, yes, but Liv saw it for what else it was: the second of hesitation, and she knew that, in this, they understood each other completely.
She knew that Quinn would do everything she could to take care of her in that moment.
She trusted her implicitly, and she nodded, giving Quinn the permission that she sought.
“Fuck,” Liv said, feeling two of Quinn’s fingers stretch her, bucking as Quinn pulled them back, curving into her in perfect rhythm.
Even as she felt another orgasm building, she saw Quinn’s expression slip, and she could read that look, too.
That Quinn’s mind was racing, that she might put a stop to this. Softly, Liv asked, “Will you kiss me?”
Exactly as she’d hoped, the request brought Quinn back into the moment.
She was quick to comply, bringing their mouths together in a sloppy, deep kiss.
Liv always loved tasting herself on Quinn’s tongue, and that thought alone drove her even higher.
When Quinn moved to her neck, sucking and licking at her pulse point, she increased the pressure of her fingers moving in and out of her.
Liv felt the tightening in her lower belly again, and when Quinn bit her just above her collarbone, hard enough that Liv knew it would leave a mark, she exploded, silently this time, as lightning shot out from her core and rippled to every corner of her body.
Quinn slowly pulled out of her, sinking to Liv’s side.
They rested in the quiet for several minutes, the only sound their labored breathing. Liv honestly wasn’t sure what to say, so she was grateful when Quinn broke the silence.
“That probably wasn’t the smartest thing we’ve ever done,” Quinn said softly.
There was something about her earnestness that just…it pressed into Liv on some level, like squeezing a bruise that was al most healed, sure, but it was also just so funny . A laugh burst out of her, long and throaty. “You might be right about that.”
Maybe the best part of the morning was when Quinn started to laugh, too, shaking alongside her. After a few moments, though, she rolled over to check the clock on the table by her bed. “The next session I was planning to attend is at 10:30, so I need to hop in the shower.”
The abruptness of her dismissal shocked Liv out of her state of bliss. She awkwardly reached for her shirt as she spoke. “Sure, sorry, I’ll give you your space back.”
“Do you want to join me?” Quinn asked as she stood, pulling her own shirt off and turning to her expectantly.
Maybe Liv should have been embarrassed by the way she jumped to follow her, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. In no time at all she was on her knees, steam billowing around them as she licked Quinn with fervor until she came in the shower, rivulets of water streaming down their bodies.
A sense of peace covered the room as they dressed, just comfortable , and Liv wanted to lean into it, to stay here in this perfect, safe space for as long as she possibly could. They both had things to get to. Liv was expected soon to help prepare for Rhea’s additional event that afternoon.
“Are you coming to Rhea’s meet-and-greet today?” Liv asked as she hooked the button on her pants.
“Okay, wait. I have to ask you about this,” Quinn replied, not actually answering the question at all.
When Liv turned to her, she was absolutely gorgeous in grey pants and a black button-up shirt, the top two buttons undone, showing off just a hint of soft skin and—
Liv realized she’d been distracted, missing the next thing that Quinn had said. “I’m sorry, what?”
Quinn kindly repeated her question. “What the heck is up with you and Rhea Freaking Stewart?”
“Oh, that,” Liv said simply. She needed to think for a moment on how to answer that, because she knew that the truth was too much, and she didn’t want to freak Quinn out. “We’ve become friends.”
“Like, not pretend work friends,” Quinn replied. “You brought her with you to a gay bar!”
“Yeah, she’s pretty much my best friend,” Liv said sincerely. Quinn looked like her eyes were going to bug out of her head. Liv thought for a moment before adding, “She lost her mom when she was young. Did you know that?”
“Yeah, of course,” Quinn responded. “She was…twelve, I think.”
As soon as she said it, Quinn’s face changed, like the pieces had come together.
And yeah, amongst other things, Liv and Rhea had bonded over their tragic losses at such a critical time in their young lives.
Liv had also thought, more than once, that Rhea had become like an older sister to her, but she couldn’t get started on that, not with Quinn, not right now.
Liv needed a subject change. “Can we also talk about my cousin and your friend for just a second?”
Quinn laughed lightly, shaking her head. “Audrey is a trip.”
“Right? I’m pretty sure they made out on the dance floor last night,” Liv said, and Quinn’s jaw dropped. “Does Mel have some sort of queer magic? I feel like almost all the femmes at the bar last night were checking her out.”
“Not just femmes,” Quinn replied. “She’s into anyone female identified. Equal opportunity, and all of that.”
There was something in the way she said that, something deeper, something she wasn’t saying. Liv knew she shouldn’t ask, but she couldn’t stop herself. “Have you two…”
Quinn was striking as a blush rose from her chest up her neck. “No, not… Almost, once, but rational thought prevailed.”
Liv was equal parts intrigued and jealous, if she was being honest. “You did always try to use that rational brain of yours. ”
Quinn laughed again, a soft, tender sound, before quietly responding, “Not always.”
When Quinn stepped to Liv, pulling her in for a sweet kiss, Liv was thrilled at the feeling of closeness it elicited. They kissed for several moments, and it was gentle, warm. The opposite of the complete debauchery from earlier.
“Just so you know. I did not come to your hotel room just for this,” Liv said, gesturing weakly at the bed.
“Uh huh,” Quinn teased, before she shrugged, adding, “I just can’t resist you.”
Okay, well. Liv didn’t like that. She knew she’d been persistent, but she’d thought that, on some level, they both wanted this. “Quinn, that’s not how I want you to feel. I don’t know if you’ll believe me on this right now, but I don’t want you to feel pressured or—"
“Liv, stop,” Quinn said, attempting to pause Liv’s ramble.
It was only after she said her name again that Liv shut her mouth, fully paying attention to Quinn.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want to resist you.
I wanted you. I fell asleep last night thinking about you.
And the night before, and the night before… ”
Quinn was embarrassed, but she didn’t say anything to try to change the honesty of her words, instead letting the awkwardness linger.
“Maybe this is an opportunity for us,” Quinn finally offered, her tone sounding vaguely optimistic.
Hope blossomed in Liv’s chest. “You think so?”
“Yeah. I’d been thinking about all the reasons that this was wrong, but…” She paused again, and Liv had the utterly irrational thought that the wait might actually kill her. “Maybe we can take these few days and, I don’t know. Do the ending over? Get it right this time?”
Liv deflated. She’d become incredibly good at getting things so incredibly wrong with Quinn. There’d been a part of her that thought they could be different, more, this time. But she’d thrown away any chance for that back in college.
Still, she nodded, and still, her body warmed at the way that Quinn reacted, pulling her in and squeezing her in a tight hug, their bodies melding together like they were meant to cling to each other.
If a couple of days were all she got, she’d take them. She’d happily take whatever scraps Quinn would give her.