Chapter 27
Liv
December, Junior Year
Liv honestly couldn’t believe the phone call she’d just gotten from her mother. Even though she’d done literally everything she’d promised them—going home every break, working at her dad’s company, her major, everything—her parents were still keeping her at arm’s length.
And now, they weren’t even going to be home for the holidays?
The semester was over, she was about to pack for her flight home tomorrow, and her mom had just told her they decided to stay in Paris for Christmas.
And Liv got it, on one level. Paris had been Ronnie’s favorite place to visit.
Her sister had been gone for almost seven years, and her parents, it seemed, were still trying to find ways to feel close to Ronnie.
Liv understood that better than she could possibly explain, though they didn’t seem to care that she continued suffering the loss, too.
They hadn’t even checked in with her on Ronnie’s birthday.
Thank God for Quinn. The way she’d been there for Liv that day… Liv couldn’t put into words how much it had meant to her.
And it was the way that her mom had ended the call.
‘We can get you a ticket, too, if you feel like joining,’ she’d said.
Like it was an afterthought. Well, Liv didn’t need to crash their holiday if they didn’t want her there.
She wasn’t an adequate replacement for her sister, she felt it in her bones, and so she’d just continue trying to make herself as small as possible.
But no. She didn’t want to join them. She didn’t want to visit a city haunted by the ghost of her sister.
She certainly wasn’t going home to Chicago, though. She decided that she could just stay in the apartment. That was fine . Preferable, really. She wouldn’t have to deal with her stuffy house or her repressive parents or the weight of what they’d lost.
So maybe she wasn’t fine, but she would be okay. She would stay in the apartment by herself, even if it would be weird to be there for longer than a few days without Quinn, and she would order tons of takeout and she would watch movies and she would…read and get ahead for her next semester courses?
God, that was sad.
“Hey, are you okay?” she heard Quinn ask when she walked into the apartment shortly after Liv got off the call with her mom.
Liv hadn’t even realized she was crying, not until she lifted her hands to her face and felt the tears with her own fingers. “Oh, I’m good.”
Quinn was unconvinced, and she joined her on the couch, wrapping Liv up in her arms. “You’re not. What happened?”
Being held by Quinn did make her problems feel smaller, she had to admit.
Liv was lucky to have her, to be living this portion of her life with someone who listened and was there for her, someone she could open up to and be herself around…
At least this version of herself, the closest to her true self she’d ever been.
She couldn’t ask for a better person to be around.
“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Liv said, speaking through tears. “My parents are staying in France for the holidays.”
“Are you going to join them?” Quinn asked, sounding mildly confused.
“I don’t think I want to,” Liv answered. Quinn didn’t push her on it, sensing that the topic was bigger than Liv could explain in that moment. Liv wiped her eyes again. “It just kind of hit me in a weird way, sorry. But, I guess I’m staying here for Christmas.”
“Why don’t you come home with me,” Quinn offered. The question was immediate. Quinn didn’t think about it for even a second, like it was an obvious solution. Like maybe she wanted Liv there with her.
Liv blushed. “I couldn’t ask you to do that, Quinn.”
“You’re not asking,” Quinn replied simply. “And my parents would be happy to have you.”
Liv thought for a long moment before speaking cautiously. “I don’t want to send them the wrong message.”
“We’re friends,” Quinn said, sounding quite clear on the matter. “And I’m sorry, but you and I have lived together for years now…you know they already make assumptions about us.”
“That’s fair,” Liv said. Of course, she’d heard the subtle, and more often than not, not so subtle , jokes and jabs from Quinn’s parents. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
“Of course,” Quinn replied.?“You don’t have to decide right this second, Liv. I can text them to make sure it’s okay, if you want, but I promise, we’re a ‘the more, the merrier’ kind of family.”
“I’ll think about it,” Liv allowed.
“Great,” Quinn said, and Liv watched as she shot a quick text to her parents asking if, should Liv choose to, it would be okay for her to stay with them over break.
As soon as she sent the message, Quinn leaned over to Liv, placing a gentle kiss on her temple, the sweetness making Liv feel warm all over.
“Since you are having a rough day, I will generously forgo my turn picking what we watch tonight. You may select something where people blow up, if you must.”
Liv laughed, but before she even found the remote, Quinn’s phone was buzzing with a call from her mom.
“Jennifer, you cannot answer a text with a phone call,” Quinn said, skipping any type of standard greeting. Liv wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to the casual relationship Quinn had with her parents.
“Well, you answered,” Liv heard her mom respond, and she had a point there. “Is everything okay with Liv’s family?”
Liv wasn’t even the one on the phone call. She was just sitting next to Quinn, listening in to what she could make out because of the proximity, and she could still detect the notes of concern in Quinn’s mom’s voice, like she was genuinely worried about her.
“All good,” Quinn answered simply. “Her parents are traveling, so I’m trying to trick her into coming to hang out with all of us hooligans.”
“Did you tell her that I bake six different types of cookies? I really feel like you undersell my baking skills to your friends.”
“Do you remember when I chipped my tooth on a pecan shell eating one of your pies,” Quinn asked, and Liv stifled a giggle. “Because it’s a core memory for me.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a baby tooth, no harm done. Let me talk to her.”
“I’ll put you on speaker,” Quinn offered, and she slid the phone from her ear, pressing the speaker button.
“Liv?”
“Yes, Jennifer, I’m here,” Liv replied, nervous for some reason.
“We’d love to have you over for the holidays, sweetie,” Quinn’s mom said. “We normally host a ton of people—aunts, uncles, cousins—but it’s just us this year. I, for one, could use some help entertaining the kids, and my girls love you so much. And we would have even teams for game night!”
Liv watched Quinn’s face, a small smile growing on her lips, and knew that they both understood completely what her mom was trying to do.
“No pressure,” Quinn whispered.
They were both just so freaking sweet, it was adorable .
“Well, I did hear something about cookies,” Liv replied.
So, she found herself at Quinn’s childhood home for the first time.
They arrived while her family was out, with Quinn assuring her that it was likely the only moment of peace they’d have the entire trip, and Quinn gave Liv a quick tour of the house.
Liv felt a little like she’d stepped onto the set of a movie: the house was small and a bit cluttered, more so because it was stuffed with decorations for Christmas.
There were three trees—one in the living room, one in what Quinn referred to as the “den” towards the back of the house, opposite Quinn’s parents’ room, and even a small tree on the narrow staircase that led to the second floor, which Quinn explained held the three bedrooms her siblings lived in.
Quinn, as she told the story, had been evicted from her bedroom as soon as she moved away to school their freshman year, her brothers deciding they were old enough to have their own rooms, especially given she was gone the better part of nine months.
So, Quinn lived, when she was back home, in the basement.
They concluded the tour down there, and it was clear that the space was normally used as a hangout for all the kids, with two couches creating an L shape to section off that area of the long room, along with a reclining chair, pool table, and a full entertainment center that housed a television, gaming system, and several overflowing shelves of books.
There was a small bathroom with a tiny walk-in shower, and the laundry area was tucked under the staircase.
“Not a lot of privacy,” Quinn said apologetically. She wasn’t wrong. There wasn’t even a door at the top of the stairway.
“That’s okay,” Liv replied. Because they’d agreed that the truly private things they did together were off limits for this visit.
Liv was certain they could cope. They were friends first, though she could admit to herself that it wouldn’t exactly be? easy ?to go that long without touching Quinn. “It’s only for a few weeks. ”
Quinn nodded, and Liv continued surveying the room. There were several boxes stacked against the far end of the room, and when she asked about them, Quinn shook her head and laughed.
“When Nico took over my room, the boys boxed up all of my stuff,” she explained. “That’s everything that they haven’t thrown out.”
“This is a bunch of your childhood stuff? We are definitely going through those,” Liv said, though Quinn just waved her off.
“It’s mostly just old swim trophies and more Rhea Stewart posters.”
“Um, excuse me. Please use her full name. It’s Rhea Freaking Stewart,” Liv said, loving the charmed look Quinn shot back. “Wait. Exactly how many of these posters do you have?”
Quinn raised her eyebrows. “Don’t be jealous.”
Liv felt her face go warm. “I am not jealous .”
“Mmhmm,” Quinn replied, before they heard a door upstairs bang open several times, letting them know that they were no longer alone.
“Quinnie! Liv! Come upstairs,” Quinn’s dad bellowed.
Quinn nodded at the stairs. “Sounds like our peace has come to an end.”