Chapter 30
Quinn
Now
They’d been sitting quietly in Liv’s hotel room for a while when Quinn’s phone started buzzing persistently in her pocket.
Quinn pulled the device out of her jacket pocket to see that her sister, Juliette, was video calling.
For half a second, she considered accepting the call so that she and Liv could talk to Juls like they all used to, but she thought better of it, sliding her phone back into her pocket.
“If you need to take that, it’s okay,” Liv said.
“Oh, no, it’s okay,” Quinn assured her.
“Was that your wife?” Liv asked. She said it as a joke, but then her jaw dropped. “Oh my God, I never even asked if you were single. Was that your wife?”
“You didn’t ask, did you?” Quinn replied, amused, thinking back on their conversations that week. She let Liv sit with that for a moment before she said, “It was Juliette. I’ll call her back in a little while.”
“I’m sorry, but you still haven’t confirmed that you’re single,” Liv said, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.
Quinn huffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Regardless of the long period of absence from each other’s lives, Liv knew her better than that, knew that Quinn would never cheat on a partner. It seemed like Liv was realizing this, too, because she just nodded, almost to herself, ending the line of conversation .
“So, you don’t have to give me details,” Liv said. “But, your brothers and sisters…are they doing well?”
Maybe Quinn was still a complete sucker for this woman, but she looked like she sincerely wanted to know. Even still, Quinn wasn’t sure she wanted to have this discussion. “We really don’t have to do this.”
“I…I want to know if you would feel comfortable telling me,” Liv whispered. “The girls are, what…seniors in college?”
“Just graduated,” Quinn answered slowly. “Juls is in Seattle.”
“She moved across the country,” Liv squeaked. And Quinn got that response, honestly, because it was similar to hers when Juliette had told her where she was planning on going to school.
Quinn nodded. “She graduated from the University of Washington and already got a job out there.”
“Marine Biology?” Liv asked, radiating pride. There was a part of Quinn that warmed at the fact that she remembered, but she tried not to show it on her face as she nodded again. “She did it!”
“She did,” Quinn confirmed. “She spent last summer doing field research in Puerto Rico. And now she’s on a team that does some sort of tracking of marine mammals, or…something. I don’t understand everything about her work, but that kid has been the exact same nerd for her entire life.”
“I love that for her,” Liv replied, sounding almost proud.
Quinn agreed, thinking for a long moment whether she wanted to continue before adding, “Ev went into elementary education. She’s doing her student teaching in the fall…and she’s engaged.”
“To be married,” Liv gasped. Quinn couldn’t help but smile, nodding again. “No way!”
“I know. It’s wild,” Quinn agreed.
Ev’s fiancé, Thomas, was a nice enough guy. They’d met a few years back when she was a sophomore in college and he was finishing up grad school. Their brothers were struggling with it the most, annoyed with the fact that Thomas was older than them.
“The guys are good, too,” she continued. “Nico works in maintenance at the plant my dad used to work in. He plays with robots all day.”
“The dream,” Liv said.
“And Peter, he’s a stay-at-home dad, his husband is a lawyer,” Quinn said, and she couldn’t stop herself from pulling her phone back out to show Liv a picture of her nephew, Jonah, a chubby-cheeked little boy that had captured every heart in the family when he’d been adopted the previous year.
“He’s beautiful,” Liv whispered, her eyes misting at the picture.
“Yeah,” Quinn agreed, before laughingly adding, “Nico likes to tell people he grew up to be my dad, and Pete grew up to be my mom, which…is fair, honestly, but Pete sure hates it.”
“He has always been such a trip,” Liv replied, shaking her head at her memories of Nico’s antics. “Your parents? Are they well?”
Quinn’s heart dropped into her stomach. She couldn’t believe they were having this conversation, couldn’t believe she was talking to Liv about this, after all this time.
“Mom is good. She started a baking business, actually. Works out of our kitchen, but it’s doing well. Mel helped her put together a website with her own logo and everything. She’s thrown herself into it. I made her promise not to serve anything with pecans, you know. To save her customers’ teeth.”
“That sounds like solid business advice,” Liv said, but something about her face changed, like she knew Quinn was trying to put off the next part for as long as she could.
“Dad…Dad passed away a few years back, pretty suddenly.” It was a heart attack, completely unexpected.
One weekend, Quinn had gone home to visit her parents, her dad his normal self.
They’d driven into Detroit to catch a Tigers game on Sa turday, and then worked together to build trellises for her mom’s garden on Sunday, her dad taunting her the entire day for her lackluster ability with power tools.
The next Wednesday, she’d gotten the call. He’d worked the full day shift at the plant before coming home, everything normal up to that point. He took a shower, and then felt tired, so he laid down for a quick nap, and just…didn’t ever wake up.
Quinn was certain that she still hadn’t fully processed that her dad was gone. They were coming up on their third Father’s Day without him, and she still reached for her phone to call him at least a couple of times a month, wishing that she could hear him give her a hard time just one more time.
“Quinn…I didn’t know.” Her eyes filled with tears that were threatening to spill over. “I would’ve come, or messaged you, or sent flowers, or… something .”
“I know,” Quinn said. “I thought about calling you.”
“You did,” Liv replied, surprised, reaching her hand up to wipe away a stray tear.
Quinn nodded. “I did. Mom and I fought about it a lot, actually. I mean, I don’t think that’s what it was really about, of course, or at least, I don’t think that was the only thing. It was all pretty stressful for a while there.”
“She didn’t want you to call me,” Liv assumed quietly, her expression pained.
Despite the tension of the moment, Quinn burst out laughing. “Jennifer Miles might be your biggest fan, Liv. She told me I was an idiot to second guess calling you.”
“I’ve always felt like your mom was incredibly wise,” Liv replied, softly but with an edge of playfulness, until her face returned to its somber expression. She reached her hand across the table and squeezed Quinn’s tenderly. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Quinn. He was a great man.”
It was several moments before Quinn could form words again, and when she spoke, her words were hoarse.
“I know things didn’t work out with us. But…
the Paris trip? They were wa iting for retirement, right?
And he had a heart attack years before he was eligible to retire.
They wouldn’t have ever made it if you hadn’t…
I’ll remember that for the rest of my life, Liv. We all will.”
It was something that had crossed her mind many times since her dad’s death.
Because her initial reaction when Liv told her about the trip was to try to stop it.
She’d been embarrassed, and she’d always discouraged Liv from using her money on Quinn, not wanting it to complicate their friendship, not wanting Liv to feel like Quinn expected anything monetary from her.
She couldn’t have known that they wouldn’t have gotten the chance to go later, but the fact that she thought, for even a second, about asking them not to go, about asking Liv to cancel the gift…
She couldn’t stop thinking about the what-ifs, haunted by them.
“I’m glad I could give that to them,” Liv responded simply, squeezing Quinn’s hand again. “I’ve really missed you.”
Quinn couldn’t help but be honest. “I’ve missed you, too.”
Liv paused, looking like she had a million thoughts running through her mind, and Quinn could guess what she was thinking. But if even a couple days with this woman was going to crack her open, she knew that she wouldn’t survive if Liv broke her again.
“Liv, let’s not try to make this bigger than it needs to be,” Quinn said, almost begging.
She was worried that Liv might cry, but ultimately she nodded her agreement. She took several deep breaths, pulling the hand that had been clasped on top of Quinn’s to wipe her eyes again. Quinn got the distinct impression that she was trying to steady herself.
“This was not the sexy afternoon I had in mind,” Liv said, making Quinn snicker. She reached for her phone, checking the time. “I have to get back to the conference in a few minutes. ”
Quinn nodded. “Mel and I fly out early in the morning, so if it makes more sense to say goodbye now, I understand.”
“That’s not what I want,” Liv immediately replied. “I mean. If that’s what you need…”
“Today has been kind of a lot,” Quinn said thoughtfully, and Liv nodded her agreement. “Can we, just, like…turn off our brains tonight? Do you think it’s possible?”
“If that’s what you need,” Liv answered. “We can take this afternoon apart to reset?”
“That sounds good,” Quinn agreed. “So, like…no death or therapy talk tonight?”
Liv laughed. “I accept your terms. I’ll come to your room after the party.”
“And bring the—"
“I’ll bring the robe.” Liv promised, with a sexy smile.
So, Quinn would take these few hours to herself, to call her sister, maybe, but then to rest and regroup and try to get her head on straight.
She needed to remember to focus on the here and now, because that’s all they were allowing themselves, and she had to figure out how to make herself believe it would be enough.