Chapter 22
Farrah
My lips are still tingling from our kiss as we walk back toward Stan and Muriel’s house. Knox has hold of my hand, and it suddenly hits me that we’re about to walk into the house where all our friends are.
I tug him back, marveling at how his face is no longer set in the hard lines it usually is. “Are you sure you want to walk in there like this?” I lift our hands to point out the connection.
“Do you not want to?”
“Our friends have zero chill.”
He snorts. “True. I’ll do whatever you want.”
I blink at him. Who the hell is this guy, and what did he do with the uptight version of Knox I’ve grown accustomed to? It’s his open expression that gives me the courage to move forward.
“Okay, let’s go inside.” I squeeze his fingers between mine to show him I don’t want him to let go.
We walk hand in hand through the front door, only to be met with silence. No one is around, and I start giggling at the irony. Something epic is happening, and I’m trying to prepare for the onslaught of questions, but not a single person is here to give a damn.
Knox sighs and throws his arm across my shoulder. “They must’ve all gone outside for the bonfire.”
I lean into his side, trying to wrap my head around how different things are in a matter of minutes. “Are we really doing this, Knox? How did we even get here?”
“With the help of Mrs. Basil, I finally got out of my own way.”
I frown at him, and the corner of his mouth quirks up.
“She asked me if I was finally done pulling your pigtails like a bully with a crush. At first, I denied the accusation. I don’t do shit like that. Except…she was right. It finally hit me why I’d been such an asshole, and once I understood, there was no way I could see you any differently.”
I melt into him, dropping my forehead into his chest. He smells so good—woodsy and manly.
He presses a kiss to the top of my head, and I’m officially cooked.
Nothing makes sense anymore, but I’m not going to question it.
I’ll take this one day at a time until I can trust the feelings stirring inside me.
“Come on. Let’s go out back. They’re probably wondering where we are by now.”
“Our entrance is going to be even more obvious now, huh?”
“Yep.”
We make our way to the back door. It takes approximately three seconds for our arrival to be noticed.
“Ho-ly shit. Reese, Cam, I think your pigs grew wings,” Holt’s brother, Gage, yells.
“We don’t have pigs,” Cameron replies before realizing what everyone is looking at.
Grayson whoops. “Well, slap my ass and call me mama, our boy finally got the girl.”
“What the hell does that even mean?” Knox grumbles as he leads us closer to the fire, where everyone is standing around.
“I think he combined a couple of sayings,” I say with a laugh.
I catch Gia’s eye, and she mouths, “What the fuck?”
I shrug because heck if I know how this turn of events came about. If someone told me Knox Waters would kiss the hell out of me at Lauren’s birthday party, I’d have laughed and called you crazy. But here I am, with his hand in mine and my lips still tingling.
Knox raises his voice to be heard over the din of our friends. “Okay, everyone. You’ve had time to gawk. Let’s move on now.”
“Who’s ready for a hot dog?” Muriel asks, effectively distracting the entire group. I seriously love that woman.
“Dad? Why are you holding Farrah’s hand?” The frown on Finn’s face makes my stomach drop. I’m horrible. I didn’t even think about what he might have to say about this new development.
Knox squats down to get on Finn’s level. I’ve come to admire the way he interacts with his son. I worried for a while that he was as mean to Finn as he was to me, but once I started paying attention, it became clear that Knox is a totally different person around him.
“Farrah and I decided we’d like to spend a little more time together as more than friends.”
“Are you guys going to get married?”
The blood drains from my face. I made a vow when my ex went to prison that I’d never put myself in that position again. I wasn’t going to be beholden to a man in any capacity. Is that something Knox would want?
I most definitely did not think any of this through. Damn my hormones for making decisions for me.
“I don’t know, buddy. That’s something we’ll have to figure out in time.”
Good answer. At least he didn’t panic the way I did. I’d have stuttered and given a nonanswer that wouldn’t have been enough for Finn to accept.
Finn looks up at me. “Does this mean you’ll come over to our house and play with me sometimes?”
I laugh, the tension in my body draining in seconds. “Yeah, kiddo. I’d love to come over and play with you.”
“Careful. He’s a menace when it comes to card games,” Knox warns.
“Had your butt handed to you a couple of times, have you?”
Knox grunts as Finn brags, “I beat him in War almost every time.”
“You think that’s funny?” Knox grabs Finn and chucks him into the air.
He squeals, his giggles ringing through the air while Knox tickles him. “Farrah! Help me!”
I wrap my arms around Finn, shielding him from Knox’s attack. I take off running, but Knox grabs us before I can get very far.
“I see how it is. You two are going to gang up on me now.”
I look at Finn. His grin is full of mischief as he nods at his dad.
Knox playfully growls and tickles both of us at the same time.
I screech, the sensation completely foreign to me.
I’m only just now realizing I’ve never been tickled before.
I definitely do not like the feeling, but why is it making me laugh?
“Okay, okay! I give up.” I wave the proverbial white flag.
“That’s what I thought,” Knox says triumphantly. He leads us back to the bonfire right as Holt races toward a giggling Leah and a terrified Gia. Somehow, they’ve managed to catch their hot dog on fire. Holt snatches the stick out of Gia’s hand and promptly extinguishes the flames.
“We should definitely leave the roasting to your dad,” Gia quips. “Who knew a hot dog would catch fire the way a marshmallow does?”
Gwen snorts. “Pretty much everyone.”
Gia makes a face. “Yeah, that’s fair.”
Knox grabs a couple of roasting sticks and handles cooking our food.
Music begins playing through a speaker, and conversations flow around us.
I’m glad nobody is giving Knox and me too much crap for our silent declaration.
I need time to wrap my head around everything that happened tonight before I can even attempt to talk to someone else about it.
Gia and Gwen have made it clear they’re going to want all the details later. Which is good—I’ll need their perspectives on what I should do next.
I never imagined wanting to be in a relationship with a man again.
I’m still not sure I’m ready for this change, but Knox has gotten under my skin.
I think about him more often than not, and I know I’d be doing myself a disservice if I pushed him away just because I’m scared of falling back into old patterns.
Knox isn’t anything like my father or my ex.
Even when he was being an ass, he wanted me to push back.
He expected me to get angry, and at times it felt like he encouraged it.
We’ll have to talk about it at some point.
We’ll have to talk about a lot of things, but I’m confident in the knowledge that whatever happens, I’ll be safe to be myself with him.
There’s freedom in that kind of assurance. It excites me to explore a relationship where we’ve seen each other at our worst already. It levels the playing field and opens the doors to being vulnerable with each other.
The biggest test will be if Knox willingly walks through that door.