Chapter 2
The Honorable Alistair Wyndham was caught by complete surprise when a random young woman charged into him as if she were a bull and he were a red flag waving in her face. She had her head down; she moved quickly, and were he not so good on his feet, then he might have been sent to the ground.
As luck had it, he had seen her coming at the last moment and was able to stand with some sense of grounding as she made full-bodied contact. He did not move, but she dropped like a bag of dirt.
Or she would have, had Alistair not snatched her quickly by her elbows, keeping her on her feet … barely. She stumbled back, swayed, and vaguely looked up as if she had no idea what just happened.
“I … I am so …” she trailed off as their eyes met.
Alistair paused when his eyes locked onto hers. He did not mean to do so, thinking to calm her and offer words of encouragement. But when he saw her face, those gray eyes, he felt something stir inside him that he could not explain.
“I …” He stammered, trapped in her eyes, a sudden sense that he knew her but did not know where from. Or perhaps it was that he wanted to know her?
“No need to apologize.” Alistair cleared his throat and focused, while still holding her by the elbows to ensure that she did not collapse. “Perhaps I should be the one to say sorry? Had I been paying better attention, I might have darted out of the way and saved you from running into me.”
Her eyes were gray like the ocean after a storm. A tad too large for her face, they turned wide, and Alistair saw the immediate panic that took them. Her mouth dropped open, and she began to stammer in a way that suggested she had never spoken before and was only just now learning the basics of it.
And still, Alistair stared. Taken by an immediate sense of protection, he did his best to stand tall and confident, but those eyes … they trapped him.
“N – no, I was the one … I was not – I should have been … please forgive …” She looked away as if with shame.
The poor thing is terrified.
Now that the suddenness of the moment had passed, Alistair took a closer look at the random woman. Indeed, she was scared and startled, and he did not doubt that if he asked her to leave, she would happily turn tail and flee.
Beyond that, he noticed her outfit. It was an emerald gown, one that might have once been considered stylish, but old and a little worn. For that reason, he deduced immediately that she wasn’t a lady of the peerage, but certainly not common either.
Maybe she is a governess? Or a lady of the gentry?
Her chestnut hair was worn in tight ringlets. Her face was powdered. And while she looked downwards to obscure her face, Alistair did not miss what were undeniably pretty features; not strikingly beautiful, but subtle and soft, still elegant.
“There is no need to worry so,” he said gently as he released her elbows. Such a simple action, but it was harder to do than it should have been. “Truly, I am perfectly fine …” He chuckled softly. “So, do not trouble yourself over my state of being. It is you we ought to be concerned for.”
“I am … I am fine,” she said as her initial panic dissipated. Taking a deep breath, she centered herself, and then she looked at him a second time. “I should have been looking where I was going.”
“Undoubtedly,” he said with a warm smile intended to calm her. “But you will know for next time, I dare say. Unless you make a habit of running headfirst into random men on the street?”
Thankfully, she laughed, and he saw her relax and how grateful she was for his calming tone and humor. “This is my first time. Hopefully, it will also be my last.”
“What a coincidence,” Alistair said. “This is my first time, too. Might I ask where you are coming from?”
She hesitated and bit into her lower lip. “Nowhere worth mentioning.”
“Oh? I thought perhaps you were coming from Lord Ironvale’s home? I was just about to head there myself.” He sighed. “Not that I am in any rush to do so. Truly, these debutant balls can become tiresome, and the expectation of them …” A shake of the head.
Indeed, Alistair should have been at Lord Ironvale’s already, and his mother was sure to chastise him thoroughly for being late.
She had been at him since the beginning of the Season to get his head on straight and start taking his position seriously, something he refused to do.
At twenty-eight years of age, it was time he found a wife, and nights such as this one were perfect for such things.
However, as Alistair was the second son of an earl, he took umbrage with his mother’s point of view. It was not as if he would inherit his father’s title, and it was not as if his family’s future rested on his shoulders so that his life ought to revolve around it. That was for his brother.
But then the question becomes, what do I want, if not to find a wife and start a family?
He wanted to do right by his family; truly, he did. But he wanted it to be on his own terms, even if he could not say exactly what those terms were.
“I was not coming from there,” the young woman answered. However, she did so with a sense of caution, again unable to look Alistair in the eyes. “I do not know anything about that.”
He pulled himself from his inner thoughts and focused back on the young woman. “Consider yourself lucky, in that respect.”
She smiled awkwardly but said nothing.
Alistair considered her answer and decided that it confirmed his initial opinion of her. Not a lady of the ton, and likely not of the gentry either. A governess, by his best guess, or something close to it.
With that in mind, another thought arrived. A most random one, but one that Alistair could not ignore …
“Oh, where are my manners?” He laughed and shook his head to himself. “Please, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Alistair Wyndham, at your service.”
She said nothing.
“And your name?” he pressed gently.
“My name?” She swallowed as if she had no idea what he meant. “I am … my name is …” Her brow furrowed; he saw a battle rage behind those grey eyes, and then the battle ended as determination took hold, the victor of said battle decided upon. “I am Lottie Gray … yes, Lottie Gray.”
“A beautiful name, Miss Gray,” Alistair said. “Now, as I very nearly sent you to the ground, I feel that the least I can do is call you a carriage to help deliver you to wherever you wish to be. Hopefully, this will save you charging into any more men.”
“Oh, no, there is no need –”
“I insist,” he spoke over her as he turned and signaled down the road. No carriages were coming yet, but one would soon. “And please, do not try to argue with me, for I am rather stubborn.”
“Thank you,” she said meekly. “That is very kind.”
Although the action was indeed a kind one, Alistair had a second motivation for wishing to spend more time with Miss Gray. And while he wished to attack the situation head-on, he reasoned, too, that he knew nothing about this woman, save for what his instincts told him.
If she was what he thought, then he first needed to learn more about her. Thus, the few minutes spent waiting for a carriage would do perfectly …
Also, and still Alistair could not explain why, he did not wish to see her go. He told himself that it was because she was so frightened, and that to see her off without making certain that she was safe was wrong. But the truth was, something about her was just inescapable. He wanted to know more.
“So, tell me, Miss Gray, how long have you been a governess?” He looked down the street in search of a carriage but glanced quickly at Miss Gray for her reaction.
She started in surprise. “Why do you think I am a governess?”
“Am I wrong?” he asked. “A bold guess, perhaps, but it is a feeling that I have about you.”
“I …” She hesitated for a moment. “Yes, that’s right. Good guess.”
He chuckled. “I thought as much. Although, I do wonder what a governess is doing wandering the streets of London at this hour. And alone, for that matter.”
“I might ask the same of you.”
“I asked you first,” he fired back, enjoying her sharp response. Then he turned and raised an eyebrow at her.
“It is nothing exciting,” she said, still speaking with caution as she weighed up each word. “I thought that … you know how sometimes, you think of your life as being one way, then you dare to dream of it as another, only for the original feeling to be proven as a truth?”
“I … I do,” he said, blinking in surprise. I know it a little too well, truth be told.
“Well, that’s it. Tonight was supposed to be …” She sighed and shook her head. “It was not what I thought. Silly though, as nothing about my life until tonight suggested differently.”
“You’re a dreamer,” he said with a knowing smirk. “Do not deny it, for I am the same. I assume you are speaking of a job that you did not get? Or something of that nature?”
“Yes, something like that. Perhaps it is for the best …” Her shoulders deflated. “Sometimes, it is good to be reminded of one’s place. Better to know for sure than hope for the impossible.”
“Now, I do not believe that for a second.” He turned from the street and looked at Miss Gray. “Hope is not to be dismissed but encouraged. Why dream at all, if not for the chance that it might come true?”
“That is easy for you to say,” she said. “I am sure all your dreams come true.”
Her words struck close to home, and they caught Alistair by surprise. He was about to denounce her claim, even revealing a personal side to himself that he did not expect to do, but he felt a sudden urge to do so.
As the second son of an earl, most had opinions of him based on nothing more than his birth. But he was not what people thought, even if he wondered sometimes if that might just be easier.
Before he got the chance to speak, Alistair noticed a carriage charging down the road and right for them.
“Ah, here we go …” He cleared his throat and turned to wave it down.
But the carriage did not slow. In fact, it seemed to gain speed. As it did, it ran a little too close to the curb, and Alistair was quick to notice the puddle of muddy water for which it aimed. Right by where they both stood.
“Look out!” He stepped between the carriage and Miss Gray, just in time to take the puddle’s vicious spray across his body.
“Argh!”
“Oh, no!” she cried. “I am so sorry.”
“What for?” He shook his head and wiped down his wet clothes. His outfit was officially ruined, which by his estimation was a good thing, as it might provide him with a perfect excuse to avoid the ball for which he was currently running very late. “You were not driving that carriage, were you?”
“Well, no.”
“Then you did nothing wrong.” He smiled to show that he meant his words, and she frowned at the smile as if she did not understand why he was being so kind.
“Thank you,” she said again. “You are … kind.”
“I certainly have my moments,” he said with a smile.
“Although, I suspect, as a governess, you must be used to dealing with parents who take you for granted, as well as blaming you for their children’s flaws.
Perhaps I should have blamed you for that runaway carriage also. Just to make you feel at home.”
She laughed at the joke. “That implies that children have flaws.”
“Don’t they all?”
“They are children,” she said as if that was answer enough.
Then, her brow furrowed, and she became serious.
“Their mistakes are what help them to grow, and how they learn. For a dreamer such as you claim to be, ought you not encourage them to be curious? To make mistakes so they might not make them again?”
That was the second time that she had him blinking in surprise. For a mere governess, she was rather introspective.
“Not unlike running headfirst into a stranger on the street because you were not looking where you were going?” he said.
“Exactly like that,” she said with a smile both genuine and comfortable, perhaps the first time she had managed such a thing since they first started speaking.
Alistair looked down at Miss Gray, once again taking her into full account. Her shyness had faded considerably. Her words, while carefully chosen, were intelligent and thoughtful. And now that she was more comfortable around Alistair, he noticed how genuinely well they got along.
In fact, their conversation was so intriguing that Alistair did not want it to end. A strange thing, as he rarely enjoyed the company of other women, although that was always because it came with expectation and an eye toward courtship or what one might get from the other.
But their conversation was free and easy. It was without purpose. Two people of similar interests, nothing to gain, simply enjoying the moment. Truly, a rarity for someone of Alistair’s pedigree.
He did not know her at all, but he felt as if he did. She was withdrawn, unsure, desperate to go unnoticed. But in his eyes, she stood out like a ray of light in a storm, and his stomach continued to flutter as if to see her off would be to lose something.
That does it then; I have made my decision.
“Miss Gray, I was wondering if I might –”
“Oh.” She pointed over his shoulder. “Here is one …”
Alistair turned to find a carriage pulling gently up beside them. What should have been a moment of relief struck Alistair in a way he did not expect but understood immediately. This little interaction had officially come to an end, but before it did, there was one thing he needed to ask.
He just hoped she said yes. If she did, it would be the first time in a long while that Alistair had done something right, and the first time in a long while when his mother would not be embarrassed or annoyed with him. What a feeling that might be …