Chapter 28 #3
My jaw clenched instinctively as I fought back the wall of emotion building inside me. What did he mean? Let what out?
“I . . . I—”
Nik took a step towards me. “Right now, I am whoever you need me to be. Tell me what you want to say to them . . . the people who hurt you.”
My mouth fell open to let out words, but nothing formed.
His offer was more than I could bear. It was the last straw. The one that brought my heart crumbling to its knees. All self-protection unravelled around it, leaving it raw and open in the field of flowers.
As the tears welled, Nick's face warped into Kavish’s steel eyes, hard smirk and even harder hand. I blinked them away, breath catching as Kavish turned into Rhodes. The male with the wicked grin and deathly grip.
With blurry vision it was easy to imagine Nik becoming all the folk who’d treated me like I was something they could buy. Who said I was less than dirt—a disease to The Grey . . . to society.
I gripped the sides of my dress, fingers biting into my palms through the fabric. “Why did you make me feel like nothing?” I asked through clenched teeth.
Nik flinched but he remained silent.
Tears coursed down my cheeks as the wind whipped through my hair. And that giant lump of darkness broke free in a scream that tore at my throat. “Why was I never enough?”
The words ripped free, as I hurled the pink tulip at Nik.
It hit him square in the chest and fell to the ground, disappearing in the sea of flowers.
He still didn’t move. So I stooped down and grabbed a handful of flowers, ripping them free from the tawny soil.
They flew through the air, petals scattering like pieces of something I used to be.
“I hate you! I hate all of you!” I screamed into Nik’s face.
The faces blurred together—the men, the nasty whispers, the hands that drew welts on my skin. “Why did no one come for me?”
The little girl inside my chest sobbed. She screamed.
She called her mother’s name. Her father’s.
But her only answer was silence. My knees buckled then, and I didn’t try to catch myself.
The flowers were soft as I sank to my knees.
Softer than anything I’d ever been allowed.
“I did everything they asked and it was never enough.” My voice cracked, raw and jagged.
“I should have run. I should have fought. I should’ve—”
The words collapsed in my mouth, shoulders folding in, sobs punching out of me in shuddering waves. “I just wanted to be loved.”
The field swallowed my voice. Nik dropped to his knees, meeting my gaze. Tears glistened in the corner of his eyes, and I couldn’t hold back the fresh wave of sobs that broke over me then.
I sank further into the long grass, hoping it would consume me whole. Nik waited silently until my breath was no longer ragged and raw, then he joined me, sitting beside me in the field.
We sat side by side in silence until the sun began to set, its rays spilling over the hill and bathing us in molten gold.
I was exhausted, my body begging for sleep.
That dark lump in my chest wasn’t fully gone, but it certainly felt lighter.
For a breath, I was grateful for the space he’d made for the tears to fall freely.
Gradually, I leaned sideways, the side of my head finding Nik’s shoulder. He didn’t react, but I heard the way his breath caught ever so slightly.
“Why are you doing this for me?”
Nik kept his gaze focused on the field before us. “Doing what?”
“Being kind to me.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Because someone did it for me once.”
I frowned faintly.
“I had a lot of anger growing up. More than I knew what to do with.” His jaw tightened slightly. “There were moments I could’ve made bad choices. Hurt people who didn’t deserve it.”
He exhaled. “But I had people who didn’t let me become that. They reminded me I wasn’t my anger.”
His shoulder shifted beneath my cheek. “Everyone deserves that. Even you.”
He’d had people. Someone to catch him before he fell too far.
I swallowed.
I’d never had that.
After the silence settled and the last rays of sun slipped over the treetops, Nik stirred. He plucked a blade of grass and rolled it between his fingers before asking, “Why don’t you fly?”
I stiffened, lifting my head from his shoulder to look at him. He didn’t face me yet, just let me answer in my own time. “Because my wings are too heavy. Ugly. I don’t deserve to fly.”
Nik hummed under his breath, still turning the grass as if weighing my words. Then he looked at me, really looked. “You carry more weight than most ever will, and yet you’re still standing. Now you have wings . . . learn to use them and I’ll fly with you to the ocean.”
I met his emerald eyes, and for the first time I didn’t feel afraid of who I saw looking back at me. I saw the promise he was offering—gentle, steady, startling in its sincerity. Just like the pink tulip he’d given me.
If I learned to fly . . . he’d take me to the one place I’d dreamed of going my whole life . . .
Nik’s smile was slow, certain. “Whenever you’re ready.”