Chapter 33 #2
I blinked. “Flowerfall?”
He grinned, pushing his plate away. “It's a festival here in Lucius that celebrates the day the petals start falling from the blossom trees. Would you like to go?”
His golden amulet silently whispered to me. It was the key out of here. But I couldn't take it now anyway, he’d notice. So I found myself nodding. He flashed me a trusting smile, and it twisted my stomach.
If only he knew I was about to break his heart.
Nik insisted I change while he cleared the breakfast away. I chose the cream, silk dress I’d worn the day I met Adalia. It would probably be the last time I'd wear something this soft again.
After brushing my hair and slipping on my shoes, I returned to the living room to find Nik changed, and ready to go. Each step towards him split the crack down my heart a little further. But this was for the best. Better to leave now than when the darkest parts of me found their way to the surface.
His hand brushed mine, warm and steady, fingers curling in between. Heat raced up my arm and my breath caught. I looked up into his emerald eyes and whispered a silent apology with my gaze. I’d give him today, and then I’d go.
Lucius opened up around us as we walked, the streets widening and brightening the closer we came to the centre of the city. The air felt lighter somehow, if that was even possible in a place like this. It was charged with music and voices and the hum of people moving without fear.
I kept pace beside Nik, letting him lead, the path unfamiliar beneath my feet as the sounds of the festival grew louder somewhere ahead. Laughter drifted on the breeze, light and easy, carrying something I didn’t quite know how to hold onto.
He slowed after a while, glancing at me. “Can I take you somewhere first?”
Something in his tone made my chest tighten, but I nodded anyway. “Alright.”
We veered off the main path, the noise of the festival softening behind us as we followed a quieter stretch lined with pale stone. The air felt different here and my steps slowed as the path opened into a small clearing.
I saw the large gates first, and I knew that was where The Grey met Lucius. That’s where I needed to go . . . before this got any harder.
An arbour stood off to the side, draped in cascading wisteria that swayed gently in the breeze, pale lilac blossoms catching the sunlight. Beneath it, a small line of people waited in quiet patience, their voices hushed, their movements careful.
At the centre, resting on a carved stone podium, was a large book.
“What is this?” I asked, my voice lower without meaning to.
“The Book of Names,” Nik said.
My breath caught.
I watched as the person at the front stepped forward, hands trembling slightly as they opened the book, turning pages slowly, like they were afraid to rush something that mattered too much.
“You can look,” Nik said gently beside me. “If you want to. Your mother. Lily . . .”
Their names pressed into my chest, sharp and sudden. For a moment, I just stared at the book. At the way the light caught the pages. At the quiet hope and grief etched into every person waiting their turn.
I could see their names. Know where they lived.
My throat tightened. But I’d already said goodbye. In ways that had torn something out of me I wasn’t sure would ever grow back.
And I wasn’t staying.
The thought came firm this time, anchoring itself beneath everything else. I wasn’t staying long enough for this place to become something safe. Something real. Looking for their names would make it final all over again, another ending I didn’t have the strength to carry.
I shook my head, forcing the words past the tightness in my chest. “No . . . thank you. Not yet.”
Nik didn’t push or question, he simply nodded. “It’ll be here when you’re ready.”
His words settled heavy in my chest. Because I wouldn’t ever be ready.
I glanced at the line again, and I couldn’t help but feel a wave of guilt. He thought I had time. Thought I’d come back here when it didn’t hurt so much.
I nodded softly, and then turned away before it could show on my face, stepping back onto the path that led towards the festival, the distant laughter growing louder again.
“Nik!” A voice called from behind us.
With his hand still in mine, Nik stilled and then swivelled. “Blue.”
The male approaching us moved with an easy confidence, a grin already tugging at his mouth. But it wasn’t that that caught my attention.
It was his hair. Bright, and unmistakable, the same impossible shade as mine.
My breath caught for half a second, my gaze lingering longer than it should have. I hadn’t seen anyone else like me before. Not here. Not anywhere.
I pulled my focus back before it could settle.
Blue slowed as he reached us, his eyes flicking between us, curiosity flashing briefly before it softened. “You’ve been hard to find,” he said to Nik, clapping him once on the shoulder.
Nik huffed a quiet laugh. “Been a little occupied.”
Blue’s gaze drifted to me again, more assessing this time, though not unkind. “I can see that.”
“This is Sapphire,” Nik said, his tone shifting—softer, steadier. “Sapphire, this is Blue. We’ve known each other a long time.”
“Years,” Blue added with a small grin. “Long enough to know when he’s getting himself into trouble.”
Nik rolled his eyes. “Says the one who usually starts it.”
Something in their exchange was easy. Familiar. Worn in like it had been built over time rather than forced into place. True friendship.
My mind flickered, uninvited, to Meeka. To the way we used to sit shoulder to shoulder, sharing what little we had. To her laugh. To the quiet understanding that had never needed words.
A sharp ache followed, but it wasn’t as hollow as it once had been. I was so grateful she was alive, that she hadn’t succumbed to the hands of a greater evil. I hoped she was living her best life with Tommy, and perhaps she might think of me every now and then.
Tears pricked the back of my eyes, so I forced my thoughts back to the male with the blue hair and chocolate-coloured wings.
“We were just heading to the flower festival,” Nik said, drawing me softly into his side.
Blue stepped aside slightly, gesturing down the path. “Then don’t let me keep you.”
Nik shook his head, but grinned. “We’ll catch up later.”
Blue nodded once, his gaze flicking to me one last time before he turned away.
Nik’s hand was still laced with mine as we rounded the corner and stepped into the festival. His touch kept me grounded in a place where I felt so out of control.
Then I saw the trees.
They lined the square in soft, sweeping arches, their branches heavy with shades of pale pink and white blossoms. Petals drifted down, spinning lazily through the air before settling on shoulders, hair, cobblestones. It looked like snow, yet gentler . . . warmer, like Lucius itself was exhaling.
I stopped without meaning to.
Petals brushed my cheek, my lashes, catching in my hair. They didn’t sting. They didn’t bite. They didn’t freeze my lungs or steal my breath.
The night I died, snow had fallen just like that—silent, relentless, beautiful in a way that didn’t care who buried it.
This felt like that . . . and nothing like it at all.
My chest tightened. Part of me wanted to laugh at the cruelty of it. Another part wanted to sink to my knees and let myself be covered, just to see if beauty could exist without taking something from me in return.
Nik stopped beside me, his hand never leaving mine. “Are you alright?”
I looked up at him, choking back all the darkness wanting to take hold of my mind and nodded. “It’s beautiful.”
His thumb brushed over my knuckles. “Like you.”
A small huff escaped my lips.
“Too corny?” he asked, bumping his shoulder gently into mine.
I rolled my eyes with a smile, but before I could answer he tugged on my hand, guiding me further into the square, never rushing me, never letting go. Around us, people laughed and spun beneath the trees, petals clinging to their clothes like kisses.
Nik leaned closer. “People dance beneath the trees,” he explained. “They read poems, sing songs. Some tie small tokens to the branches—notes, ribbons, little charms—for people they love to find later.”
I watched a woman reach up on her toes, tying a narrow ribbon around a branch, her face bright and open. Innocent.
That word scraped at me.
I walked through the falling petals, but none of them touched whatever lived inside my chest. No amount of beauty could wash away the feeling that I was wrong here. That my soul was stained, forever blackened by the tar of who I’d been forced to become.
There was no innocence left in me. Not really.
We wove our way through the crowds of smiling faces towards a tree in the centre of the square.
Nik never left my side. When I hesitated, he slowed.
When the crowd pressed too close, he shifted, sheltering me with his body.
He pressed a kiss to the top of my head as though it were the most natural thing in the world, his lips warm through my hair.
At one point, he laughed softly and tugged my hand. “Come here.”
Before I could protest, he twirled me beneath the falling petals. For a heartbeat, I forgot myself. Forgot my past. Forgot the weight I carried everywhere. Pink and white rained down around us, clinging to his shoulders, to my sleeves.
I laughed—an actual sound, startled and unguarded.
The moment scared me.
Nik smiled at me like that sound was everything. Like I was everything.