When Hearts Attach

Prologue

I’ve always feltlike an imposter.

I’m about to graduate from a sought-after medical school with Alpha Omega honors. It’s match day, and I discovered earlier this week that I’ve gotten in somewhere. At tonight’s ceremony, I’ll find out exactly where that is. But the imposter syndrome I constantly feel, well, it’s because I’m also very terrible at math. And being bad at math and getting through medical school rarely go hand in hand. Sometimes, I feel like the only future doctor who struggles with this subject.

Being a surgeon is all I’ve ever wanted to do, ever since I was in middle school and went out to the garage where my older brother Forest, and his best friend Keegan, were experimenting on a frog that they’d found dead in the afternoon sun. I was fascinated. All Forest and Keegan ever talked about was someday leaving Cherry behind to become doctors in a big city. If that was their dream, why couldn’t it be mine too?

Oh yes, the being bad at math thing. When I told all of my teachers what I wanted to do when I grew up, they reminded me that I struggle with the basic concepts of algebra and that I’d need to get my math grades up to make it a reality. Others told me to find a new dream.

I’m nothing if not tenacious. And resourceful. I studied harder than anyone. I met my teachers before and after school. During undergrad, I hired a tutor, worked in the labs, stayed connected to my professors, and received excellent grades. But then I took the MCAT, the required test to get into medical school, and I bombed it.

I’ll never forget the day I called my brother Forest sobbing.

“My grades are great, but no school will ever accept me with that score.” I sobbed into the phone, wiping my tears away with the sleeve of my shirt.

My effort was better than anyone’s, but my math aptitude was abysmal.

“You can retake them, Luna. It’s not the end of the world,” Forest said. He never seemed to worry about anything.

It felt like the end of the world. I reached out to a respected MCAT coach and waited for her reply. For months, she helped me study and organize my thoughts. I’ll never forget the email I received from Keegan the night before my test.

The only thing standing between you being the best surgeon in the world isn’t the MCAT, Luna. It’s your confidence. You’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember. The medical profession needs you. Not mathematicians. So go into the test tomorrow with your head held high because this world needs nothing more than it needs you as a doctor.

That email was by far the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. And it was said by Keegan of all people. He was about to start a fellowship in Cardiothoracic Surgery, and all of this doctor stuff seemed to come easy to him. He left high school early to take college credits at a local community college and then graduated from Harvard at twenty. He was also one of only thirty-five people who got a perfect score on the MCAT the year he took it. If my brother’s dorky but brilliant best friend believed in me, I could believe in myself.

I walked into my MCAT retake with my head held high and got a score that would eventually gain me entrance into many of my top-choice medical schools. And all because someone said the words that switched the chemistry in my brain enough to believe in myself.

My medical director walks to the front of the room, and we all applaud as names and residencies are called out. My stomach moves to my throat when I hear my name.

“Luna Oliver,” he says, and I push off my seat and stand. “New York Presbyterian, Weill Cornell Medical Center. General Surgery.”

My parents rise, and both take turns hugging me. I walk to the front of the room, my knees wobbly beneath me. My life plays in my head like a film. All the hours I spent in the garage conducting experiments with Forest and Keegan. The anatomy books I studied for hours in my bed, and all the time I spent after school in the biology lab. It all led to this moment. I only let myself dream that I’d get into my first-choice residency. But here I am, finally going to be a doctor. And moving to the city where my brother Forest and his best friend Keegan live.

New York, here I come.