Chapter One
Three Months Later
The millions ofpeople in the city occupy the space in my body where fear used to live. I am home. The apartment building looks exactly like it did in the pictures. I grab my phone from the middle console of the truck I rented and bring up an image. This is definitely the apartment I chose, sight unseen, with two other surgical residents I haven’t met. Half of the building are rooms that the hospital subsidizes for employees. It was the cheapest option for living in New York.
I throw on my hazards and wave to Forest who stands on the sidewalk, watching me park. Cars honk all around me, but this is where the building manager instructed me to park.
“Hey, kiddo.” Forest comes to the driver’s side door. I step down onto the pavement, and he pulls me out of the truck, wrapping his arms around me. He holds me, straight-armed, to take a look at me. “You’re here. You’re actually here.”
“Longest drive of my life.” I hug Forest and cup his face to get a good look at him. His blue eyes that mirror mine stare back at me. I haven’t seen him in person since he came home for a few days over the holidays, which was nearly six months ago. His hair is a shade lighter than my brown locks, and his face is cleanly shaven.
I open the back of the truck, where a few pieces of furniture and a bunch of boxes are. I’m finally in Manhattan. The sun finds openings through the tall skyscrapers and beats down at me. It’s a brutally hot late spring day in the city, and the concrete beneath me attempts to burn my feet through my flimsy sandals.
“This is all of it.” I nod toward the stuff, and Forest grabs his first box.
“Keegan’s on his way too,” Forest says, balancing the box on his hip. “He would have been here already, but he’s coming straight from the hospital.”
It’s not surprising that Forest and Keegan both ended up as doctors in the same city, at the same hospital. It was always their plan. I was their little shadow and tried to absorb everything they’d talk about.
“I barely remember what the guy looks like.” I grab a box too, and lead Forest inside, where the office manager said she’ll be waiting to give me my keys. “It’s been at least eight years since I’ve seen him in person.”
“How is that even possible?” Forest shakes his head. “I know he can’t wait to see you.”
After getting my key, we take the elevator to the eighth floor. The heavy wooden door sticks, but then I push it open and get my first view—and smell—of my new place. Forest sets his box down, and I put mine on top of his.
The apartment somehow feels smaller than it looked in the photos. The kitchen is a narrow galley and has a counter open to the living room. The windows are large, but the view is nothing more than building after building. Whoever lived here before must have burned Nag Champa incense like it was going out of style, because that’s all I can smell, and the smoke blows around from the draft of the old windows.
Forest walks down the hallway. “Three bedrooms. Nice.” He peeks into one room and then moves onto the next.
“Yeah,” I say. “Raven and Myles both arrive at some point tomorrow, which means I get the first pick. That’s only fair, right?”
Forest opens the door at the end of the hallway. “This is the biggest.”
His phone buzzes, and Forest pulls it out of his pocket. “Keegan’s out front. Let’s meet him downstairs so he can help with the furniture.”
We step into the old elevator, and a suffocating wave of humidity washes over us. I graze my forehead, feeling the beads of sweat forming there. The air hangs heavy and stagnant as if time itself has settled upon these halls, leaving behind the scent of aging wood and dust. I glance at the elevator’s cramped interior, realizing that there is no way that the couch I bought will fit inside this thing.
And honestly, I feel horrible about it. Not for Forest. He’s my brother. He owes me. But I do feel bad for Keegan, who I’m sure Forest roped into helping. I helped Keegan pack up his old apartment when he left medical school in Boston to move to New York. But none of that involved carrying a couch up eight floors.
Forest and Keegan are six years older than me, and both moved out of our house when I was twelve. All Keegan did was sit around reading medical journals. His clothes were always about two inches too short, and his thick-rimmed glasses were crooked and held together with duct tape. But I’ve never met a more intelligent person in my entire life than Keegan Baldwin.
I wanted so badly to be included in their activities, and most of the time, they’d let me follow them around. But time together was hard to find. Between Mathletics, Robotics, and Future Scientists of America, the men had remarkably busy schedules.
The last time I saw Keegan was when he graduated from medical school when he would have been around twenty-four. My parents made me come with them because Keegan was their bonus child. Or at least that’s what they called him. That was the last time I saw him in person. I still remember so much about the night of his graduation, when Forest and I helped pack boxes all night in his cramped Boston apartment.
For the past eight years, I’ve been in Minnesota studying to be a doctor, and he’s been in New York, actually being one. When he would come home with Forest to see my family, I was hours away at Medical School. When I’d be home visiting my parents around the holidays, he was on call at work and couldn’t come.
We reach the ground level, and not a moment too soon because the elevator now feels like a sauna. We step into the sun, and all I can see is a tall man illuminated by the rays of sunshine, peeking through the steel skyscrapers.
“Hey, man.” Forest approaches Keegan and gives him a fist bump. He then turns to me. “Look who’s finally in the city.”
“Keegan.”
I know I shouldn’t, but I start laughing and then move my hand to my mouth to cover the sound. Keegan has changed so much. He left Cherry twelve years ago as a boy. But this person in front of me is a man. I don’t know why this little fact shocks me so much.
“You look…” I begin to say but am unable to finish the sentence.
“Luna. Hi.” His lips press into a straight line, and his dark eyebrows knit together with curiosity. I’d forgotten the intense gaze that he’s perfected.
Neither of us looks away, but I do manage to stop laughing. Keegan was always tall, but now the rest of his body has caught up with his height. His hair is a deep chestnut, and the sun makes it shimmer as if it’s laden with crystals. His glasses have been replaced with contacts. His shirt hugs his arm muscles. His joggers are tight around his thighs, and I shake my head when I realize I’m staring at him. And those forearms. Where did those come from? And is that a tattoo on the inside of his upper arm, peeking out of his shirt?
It’s the Keegan I’ve known my entire life, I know that. He still has the same square jaw, blue eyes, and full lips. He no longer looks like a caricature because everything else has caught up. When we see a person every day, the changes are so gradual. But when they are physically out of our lives, the differences are palpable. I’m somehow looking at the Keegan I’ve always known, and someone I’m meeting for the first time.
“Ahh.” My mouth hangs open, but I don’t know what to say. “It’s really you.”
Keegan steps in my direction, and bends down to hug me. It’s quick, awkward, and over before I can blink.
“What can I do first?” Keegan looks at Forest, then me.
“There’s a few pieces of furniture.” Forest’s voice brings me back to reality. “And not all of it will fit in the elevator. I’d say we start there.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, shaking my head, and forcing myself to look away from Keegan. “I’ll owe you both forever.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Keegan says. He grabs one end of the couch and starts sliding it out of the back of the truck. I stare at how his arms flex with the weight of it as if it’s not hundreds of pounds. Forest grabs the other end, and I fan myself because the outside air temperature seems to have increased by about ten degrees in the past minute.
The men end up having to take a few furniture items up the stairs, while I load boxes into the elevator. Once the truck is empty, we’ve gone up and down at least ten times. Keegan turns on the faucet and pats water onto his face. I force myself to look away as water soaks the top of his shirt.
“This is your place?” Keegan looks around, raising an eyebrow. “Are your roommates also residents?”
“Yeah.” I open a box that says dishes and fish out a couple of glasses for Forest and Keegan to drink from. “I met them on Presby’s social page. They’re also first-year gen surg residents.”
“It’s so dusty in here,” Forest says, and Keegan nods.
“After I open some windows and air this place out, it won’t be so bad,” I say, putting my hands on my hips as I look around.
Keegan walks to the bedroom I claimed, and I follow him. He points to the unassembled bed on the floor. “I can put this together.”
“No, no,” I put my hand on his upper arm, and my face flushes when I feel the hardness of the muscles beneath his thin shirt. He glances at me over his shoulder, and I immediately let go.
“That is really unnecessary. You’ve already done so much. Go, be with your people. Do what people do in New York City. Or doctor things. Or the gym, you know, to work on all those muscles.”
Keegan doesn’t pay attention to my babbling, which I always tend to do when I’m nervous. I always manage to put my foot directly into my mouth. Instead, he gets down on his knee, starts fiddling with the parts, and then grabs the bag of screws.
“It won’t take me long,” he says.
“My kid sister. A surgical resident.” Forest stands in the doorway smiling. “I’m happy you took my advice and came to New York. It’s the best program. You’re going to love it.”
“What if I can’t cut it?” I say, glancing at Forest, and then Keegan. “Is it normal to be this nervous going into a residency?”
“Cut it. Get it?” Forest laughs, and I roll my eyes.
“You’ve got this,” Keegan says, looking only at me. “And I’m here if you need help with anything as you get adjusted.”
He studies me with so much intensity that it causes my entire body to blush. Forest plops on the floor next to us.
“I’m just happy we all found a way out of Cherry,” Forest says, and Keegan and I nod.
Keegan finishes assembling my bed, and I’m grateful I’ll have a soft place to collapse into tonight. After driving all day to get here, I’m going to want to crash so hard. And in two days, my new life of hell will begin.
“Do you need any more help, Luna?” Forest says as we find ourselves back in the living room.
“No. Thanks for everything, you guys. The last thing I have to do is bring the truck to a return location. Where do I need to go?” I scroll through my phone for the details and see an address in Brooklyn.
Keegan grabs my phone in one swoop before I have time to react. He presses on the screen and then hands it back to me. “I texted myself the address.”
“No, no.” I shake my head. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know.” Keegan stands in front of me, his arms folded over his chest.
“Let the man help you,” Forest says.
“Fine.” I blow out a breath as I hand Keegan the keys. “I really appreciate it.”
Forest pulls me into a hug. “Now that the three of us are living in the same city, finally, we have to make sure we connect. I’m thinking we need to try for a weekly family dinner. I can host the first one. Just let me know what your first month’s schedule is, Luna.”
“Sure,” I say, and Keegan continues to study me as if I’m a problem that he can’t quite solve.
In all the years since I’ve seen him, I’d forgotten his level of intensity or the number of thoughts that always seem to be in his head, even though his face gives none of them away. Being in his presence can quickly remind a person of their mediocrity. His every word is measured and purposely chosen. And every look holds meaning. He’s the opposite of me. I speak without thinking and gravitate toward spontaneity.
“Well,” Forest says, putting his hand on Keegan’s shoulder. “I’ll let you get settled. I know your roommates arrive tomorrow, and Monday will begin your five years of absolute hell.”
Forest smiles, then adds, “You’re going to love it.”
Forest walks out first, and then Keegan follows him but then turns to me. His eyes trail down my body before he quickly adjusts them. “Welcome to New York, Dr. Oliver.”
My lips creep into a smile, because I’m finally a doctor, and in a couple of days, I’m going to start work after spending the past eight years studying. I may be beginning my journey as a lowly first-year resident. But I’m finally a doctor.
Keegan’s mouth twitches at the corners as if he’s reading my thoughts and realizations.
I smile. “I’m happy to be here.”
He nods his head and shuts the door on his way out.