Chapter Twenty
“We have to get your fever down,” I say to Keegan when he comes out to the living room and sits on the couch at my feet. I can tell just by looking at him that he’s burning up. “I’m going to start rotating between aspirin and Tylenol, and I’m getting you a cold cloth.”
“Yeah, I feel like shit,” he says.
“You should get back in bed.” I stand and reach my arms out for him, to pull him up.
“I’m not tired,” Keegan says.
“You look miserable,” I say. “Come on. Back to bed.”
“You’re right.” Keegan stretches his arms above his head as he yawns. He finally grips my hands that have been outstretched for him. His skin burns beneath mine. “Do you need to leave?”
“I can.” I drop Keegan’s hand, and he glances at me as we walk toward his room. “But I don’t have to.”
“Stay.” Keegan holds the door open for me. “We could lie in bed all day and watch shows.”
“My pick, right?” I fold the covers down and nod for Keegan to get back into the bed.
Keegan raises an eyebrow. “Do you have a show in mind?”
“I do,” I say. “A romance. Obviously. It’s what I’d be watching if I were at my place on a day off.”
“A romance?” Keegan pulls the covers over himself and raises an eyebrow. “I guess that’s only fair.”
Keegan grabs his laptop, and I make a cup of mint tea for both of us. He places the computer on his lap, so I have no choice but to move directly next to him to see the screen. Now that I think about it, his apartment doesn’t have a TV. He hands me the laptop, and I queue up the show I want to watch.
Our arms press against each other’s, and there is something intimate about watching the same laptop as someone else. If I were home and not caring for Keegan, I’d never allow myself to sit in bed all day and watch a show. But after working ten straight shifts, this is exactly what my body needs.
“Those two are clearly going to end up together,” Keegan says through a yawn. “Can’t you just fast-forward to the good parts?”
“That’s not how this works,” I say, nudging him. “Of course they’re going to end up together, but why fast forward and not enjoy the process?”
“I guess,” he says. “It just seems really predictable.”
I reach over to the nightstand to give him his meds. Besides pausing for a while when I made lunch, we’ve been at this all day. And the sun is starting to get low in the sky.
“So wait,” Keegan says, a few episodes later. “They’re supposed to get married now? Just because they kissed?”
“It was a different time. And it’s fiction.” I turn to Keegan, and he looks amused. “Keep up.”
“Thank gawd those aren’t the rules anymore, or I’d be married to Mary Strumble,” Keegan says, turning to grin at me.
“What?” I say too loudly and grab his arm. “Your first kiss was Mary Strumble? Tuba Mary? Mathletics Mary?” I can’t stop laughing.
“Okay, ‘too cool for school,’” Keegan pushes me back. “Who would you be married to?”
“No one you probably know,” I say, but Keegan pauses the show, turns to me, and waits.
“Tell me.” He smiles.
“Andy Yetts,” I say, putting my head in my hands. “Yes, the current town cop in Cherry.”
Keegan puts his hand on my shoulder and laughs.
“Wait,” Keegan says. “Wasn’t he just a grade below Forest and me?”
“Yes,” I nod. “He never left Cherry. When he got back from the academy, he was at a high school party, and yeah, we kissed.”
“Of course he hung out at high school parties,” Keegan says. “He gave me a speeding ticket the last time I was in Cherry for doing thirty-five in a thirty. If I would have known you had a past with him, I would have mentioned your name to get out of the ticket.”
“It wouldn’t have helped,” I say. “I may have broken his heart just a little.”
Keegan slowly blinks as he nods. “That is not surprising at all.”
Time has no meaning in Keegan’s room, where we’re transported to the nineteenth century. We’re just two friends, spending a couple of days together, forgetting about all the pressures and expectations of the outside world. In here, he’s just Keegan, a person who I like more, the more I get to know him. I can pretend he’s not my brother’s best friend, nor is he the boy I once knew. There is no past or future. Just today.
At some point, we must both doze off. When I open my eyes to the soft glow of Netflix asking if I’m still watching, my head is tucked into Keegan’s side, and his arm is slung over me. His long eyelashes sway from the breeze of the ceiling fan, and my hand is spread against his chest. The soft cotton of his shirt a contrast with the hard muscles underneath. Outside, the morning light peeks through the window, which means I slept in his arms all night. I should be worried about catching what he has, but for some reason, I’m not. My desire to take care of him outweighs any fear.
I turn my head slightly to the arm tightly holding me. I glance at Keegan again, and he is still fully asleep. I maneuver out of his grip and turn his arm to see his tattoo better.
“Luna,” Keegan says groggily, his eyes slowly opening. “What are you doing?”
“You should have woken me up,” I say. “I could have slept on the couch.”
Keegan nods. “You fell asleep, and I didn’t want to move you.”
I don’t remember ever sleeping as well as I did last night or waking up this well-rested. The smell of Keegan is so intoxicating to me. The fresh scent of detergent with hints of eucalyptus from the vapor rub.
“I told you I was going to see your tattoo someday, and you’re going to let me.” I scrape my teeth against my bottom lip and push his sleeve farther, looking at him, prodding him to not stop me. He slowly blinks but then nods.
“This is so not what I was expecting,” I say when the tattoo is fully visible. Keegan’s face flushes. “When you said you lost a bet, I was pretty sure you had a penis on your arm.”
Keegan’s tattoo is a crescent moon, and there is a circle of text that surrounds it. The moon was so beautiful that the ocean held up a mirror.
“It’s actually kind of pretty. Almost romantic.” I put space between us, suddenly aware that I’m practically lying on Keegan. “Of all the tattoos your friends could have chosen, why this one?”
Keegan props himself up in bed. “Their first option was a penis, but I was given three vetoes,” Keegan says. “So they went with a moon.”
“If you’re not going to tell me why a moon, I may have to contact your friends myself.” I pull the blanket over myself. “You said you have two tattoos? Where’s the other one?”
“The second one was also a dare.” Keegan scratches his day-old stubble on his face.
“You need to be smarter about your dares, Keegan Baldwin,” I say.
“Not all my dares have been bad,” he says. His voice is low and gravelly. He’s talking about our kiss in Montauk.
“Quit trying to change the subject. Where is this other tattoo of yours? Cause I saw you in your swim trunks in Montauk, and besides the one on your arm, there were no other tattoos.”
“You don’t want to know,” Keegan says.
“I actually kind of do,” I say. “Why didn’t you want me to see your tattoo?”
“I’m weird about my tattoos and what they reveal about myself.” Keegan runs both hands through his hair and hangs his head low before looking at me. “I’ve just always loved the moon.”
“Huh.” I knit my eyebrows together. Sometimes when Keegan and I talk, I’m not entirely confident that we’re not talking about something much deeper.
Keegan rubs his temples and then brushes a finger over his lips. “The sun is so obvious. Too obvious. Everyone loves the sun, even though it’s painful to look at.”
Our eyes lock, and he puts his hand on his tattoo but continues looking at me. “But the moon is a compass. It gives light to a dark world. It’s so powerful that it determines the tides in the ocean.”
“And, well, the moon is beautiful,” he says, looking at me. He then reaches over to the nightstand and puts his glasses on.
I furrow my brow even further. “You know, my name means moon in Latin. Of course, you know that. You seem to know everything. It’s kind of a coincidence that you have a moon tattooed on your arm, don’t you think?”
Keegan shakes his head. “I don’t believe in coincidences. I’m a scientist.”
“Then how do you explain your tattoo?”
Keegan’s mouth opens as if he’s about to say something, but then he snaps it shut.
Several moments pass between us, and then Keegan pulls the blanket down. “I’m starting to feel so much better, so don’t feel like you have to, but any interest in finishing the first season today? I’m highly committed at this point.”
“Good job changing the subject,” I say, jumping out of bed. “I’m going to grab your meds, make some tea, and then we can queue it up.”
We once again sit in bed, bodies pressed against the headboard, and watch our show. I’m regretting continuing because when I fell asleep last night, it was the wedding scene. Now it’s the honeymoon episode and seeing the intimacy on screen makes me think of all the unsaid electricity between us. Neither of us moves or dares to glance in each other’s direction. My face heats up as the intimate scene unfolds before us.
“Okay,” Keegan says, breaking the silence. “Now I think I understand why women like romance so much.”
“Umm,” I say, having difficulty forming actual words. “That was something.”
Keegan presses pause when the episode ends, shuts his laptop, and puts it on the nightstand. Neither of us moves, but when he turns to me, he inhales a sharp breath. His hand moves to my face, and his fingers delicately push a strand of hair behind my ear. I move my hand to his arm and feel the hardness beneath my touch.
“Luna,” Keegan says softly. His tongue wets his lips.
We inch closer together, and then he grips the base of my neck, where he squeezes, sending shivers throughout my body.
Keegan nods as if he’s asking my permission. I slant my head to the left, as we close the gap between us. We’re so close that I can smell the mint on his breath. He tilts his head, and I close my eyes, breathing him in.
“Keegan, Luna, where are you guys?” Our heads turn toward the door as Forest’s voice rings out from down the hall.
I jump out of bed, putting as much space between me and Keegan as possible. I shake my thoughts out of my head because if Forest hadn’t shown up, I’d be kissing Keegan. And not because of a breakdown, or a dare, but because it feels like what’s coming next for us.
“There you guys are,” Forest says, standing in the doorway of Keegan’s bedroom, holding a large box in his hand. He looks at me. “Luna, you’re officially off duty. Keegan and I are going to play video games all day. Just like the good ole days.”
“That sounds…” Keegan’s voice trails off, as he steals a glance in my direction. “Great. Thanks for picking up a console.”
“Yeah, I’m glad you came,” I say, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice. “I have a million things I need to get done before I’m back on the clock tomorrow.”
“Are you feeling any better?” Forest says, glancing at Keegan.
“I am.” Keegan looks at me, then toward his feet. “Thanks to Luna.”
“You’re the best, kiddo,” Forest says, messing up my hair. “Thanks for stepping in.”
“Keegan, help me get this set up,” Forest says. Keegan pauses for a moment, looking between us, but then follows Forest out of the room.
When they’re gone, I put my hand on my chest, trying to steady my breath. I’m partially relieved that Forest showed up when he did. My senses start to come back to me, and I remember that my life isn’t as insulated as it’s felt the past couple of days, and there are real consequences to kissing Keegan outside of a dare. But there’s an even larger part of me that wants to be underneath him right now. To know what that feels like.
“Hey,” Keegan says, stepping back into his room. He leans against the doorframe and brings me back to reality.
“Hey,” I say.
“You have to promise me you won’t finish the show without me.”
“That’s a lot to ask.” I fold the shirt and scrub bottoms I was wearing and put them on Keegan’s bed. “But I’ll do my best.”
Keegan pushes off the frame and walks toward me. He puts his hand on my cheek. “Thanks for everything.”
“It’s not a big—” I begin to say.
“It is. To me,” Keegan interrupts. “There are very few people who would. . .”
He stops talking, leans in, and brushes his lips against my cheek. We hold each other for a moment and then let go. A rare melancholy starts in my stomach and spreads through my chest. I can’t name this feeling. I only know that I’m disappointed to be leaving.
“Let’s go, man,” Forest yells from the living room. “It’s all ready for us.”
“Keep taking it easy,” I say. “You’re still not a hundred percent.”
Keegan inhales a deep breath, nods, and walks out of the room.