Chapter Twenty-One
From: Luna Oliver [email protected]
To: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
Date: August 25
My boyfriend and I are going to visit Forest in Boston over Labor Day weekend, but we want to spend a couple of nights in NYC as I’ve never been, and he wants to show me the city. Are you around? It’s been forever.
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
To: Luna Oliver [email protected]
Date: August 27
We miss each other again. I’ll be out west at a CME event for residents and fellows. Enjoy the city and say hi to Forest for me.
“So much for our fancy night out,” Raven says, walking beside me as we round on the step-down unit.
“Trust me, no one was as bummed as me,” I say. “But what was I supposed to do when Forest basically begged me to help out Keegan?”
Raven puckers her lips. “You spent two nights with the guy, and you’re still telling me nothing happened?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” I stop walking and turn to Raven. “He was so sick. And that’s just not our relationship. Sorry to disappoint you.”
“I’m rarely off about these types of things,” Raven says. “The guy is into you.”
“Dr. Parse is coming our way,” I whisper to Raven, relieved by the distraction. “No more boy talk.”
“Craik. Oliver,” Dr. Parse says as he reaches us. “I need you both to stay on the step-down unit for a few hours. They’re backed up.”
Today is a short, ten-hour shift, and when I glance at my phone afterward, I have a text from Forest asking if I want to meet him for a drink at George’s to catch up. I tell him I’ll join him for one, but then I must get home and sleep before another long day tomorrow.
Soft music plays when I enter the dimly lit place. I immediately see Forest sitting at the bar. I put my hands on his shoulders and hug him from behind. “Hey there.”
“Hey, Kiddo,” Forest says. “I’ve missed you.”
When my drink comes, we clink our glasses together. His face turns serious, and he starts tapping his finger against the bar.
“Luna, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something,” he says, dragging a finger around the rim of his glass.
“Out with it. You’re making me nervous.” The number of possibilities fly through my brain.
Forest holds his hand up. “It’s not serious or anything. But yeah. I figured we should chat.”
“Okay,” I say slowly.
“Remember that stupid pact we made? Your roommate. My friend. Even though so many years have passed since then.”
“We’ve talked this to death. Why are we still discussing it?”
Forest takes a long sip of his drink. “Well, when we were in Montauk, you said that your interpretation of the pact is that as long as I wasn’t reckless and looking for a fling, you wouldn’t care if I dated your friends.”
Thoughts fly through my mind. Me kissing Keegan in his office. Our makeout session in Montauk. The two of us almost kissing the other day at Keegan’s place. I hold my breath, waiting for Forest to interrogate me.
“Okay,” I say, raising my eyebrows.
“You need to know something.” Forest folds his hands. “After you said that, I went back to the house, and Raven and I kissed.”
It isn’t about me. Relief reaches every orifice of my body.
“You what?” I grab Forest’s shoulder and squeeze, harder than I intend to.
“Nothing else happened, I promise,” Forest says. “And it wasn’t this stupid and spontaneous, drinking-induced thing. I want you to know that.”
I don’t know why, but I manage to be both surprised and not surprised. I saw how well they got along. Both of them have magnetic personalities, and Raven is smart and beautiful. Forest going after a woman like her makes sense.
“Is this a repeat of the Kelsie thing?” I square my body to his. “Where the girl is obsessed with you, but you have no interest in dating? And then I’ll be left having to pick up the pieces with Raven. Or I’ll do what I did with Kelsie and find a new place to live. Because the crappy apartment I’m in is the only place I can actually afford in this city, and—”
“Damn, Luna. Take a breath.” Forest shakes his head. “It’s not like that. At all.”
“We aren’t kids anymore,” I finally say. And I think about my kiss with Keegan, suddenly feeling guilty. Even if it was a dare that meant nothing. “You know the risks of getting tangled up in a relationship with someone I live with. But that pact was made at a very different stage of our lives. What the pact should have been is no casual hookups. But if you like her, I’m good. Just don’t be an ass.”
Am I just like my brother? I’ve kissed Keegan, and it’s not going anywhere. It can’t.
“How very mature of you, Luna.” Forest puts his elbows on the bar. “And I have no intentions of being an ass.”
“So, you kissed in Montauk.” I smile. “How romantic.”
“She wanted to tell you immediately. I asked her not to,” Forest says. “She values the friendship she has with you.”
“And nothing has happened since?”
“We’ve been chatting, but no. I needed to make sure you wouldn’t be freaked out by this.”
“I’m not,” I say and mean it. “Are you going to ask her out?”
“If you’re okay with it, yes,” Forest says.
“You’re going to ask her on a date.” I pinch Forest’s arm. “Look at you. You’re becoming an actual adult.”
“It was bound to happen at some point,” Forest says.
“Does Keegan know?” I pull my lips into a thin line and wait for a response.
Forest nods. “Yeah. He knows.”
“So, I was the only one in the dark?” I shake my head. For some reason, it bothers me more that Keegan knew and didn’t tell me.
“He’s my best friend, Luna. Of course, I told him.” Forest shifts on his barstool. “But I was prepared to walk away entirely if you weren’t supportive.”
I raise an eyebrow. “That’s stupid.”
The bell on the door jingles as someone walks through, and Forest waves. “Speaking of Keegan, he’s meeting us here.”
My gaze cuts to him. I haven’t seen him since the morning I left his place to go back home. Keegan gives Forest a bro’s hug, and then he nods in my direction.
Forest beams. “Order yourself a drink, Keegan. I’m going to step outside and make a phone call.”
Keegan takes the seat next to me and gets the attention of the bartender.
“You look a lot less greenish-gray,” I say. “How are you feeling?”
“Like a fully functioning human,” Keegan says. “I appreciate what you did for me so much. And so far, it looks like you didn’t catch anything from me.”
“You knew about Forest and Raven?” I change the subject as I turn my stool toward Keegan.
He lifts an eyebrow. “He finally told you?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I stare at the bottom tip of the moon tattoo on his inner arm. It’s now all I can see. “How long have you known?”
Keegan winces and seems to contemplate how honest he should be. “Since I witnessed the kiss our last night in Montauk.”
“Of course you did.” I push Keegan’s arm.
“Luna,” Keegan says in a calm voice and looks down at my hand.
“You’ve known since Montauk?” I say in a quieter voice this time. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“It wasn’t my place.” Keegan puts his hand on my shoulder. “He’s my best friend, and he asked me not to say anything.”
“He’ll always be your favorite Oliver, won’t he?” I move my shoulder to create space between us.
Keegan removes his hand and leans closer to me. “I’ll keep your secrets too.”
Our eyes meet, and the intensity of his gaze pierces through me. As we stare at each other, my eyes can’t help but wander to his lips, the same lips that kissed mine in a passion-filled moment in Montauk. One I won’t let him discuss with me because I fear it will open up something we’ll never be able to close.
Keegan takes my hand. “Luna?”
“Yeah?”
Keegan drops it. “Our kiss in Montauk.” Keegan glances at the door, grips the back of my stool, and leans into me. “Our almost kiss at my place. Are we ever going to discuss it? Or are we pretending that these things mean nothing?”
Heat floods my face because all I’ve been doing since it happened is pretend. I don’t allow myself to think about it, nor do I allow myself to ponder if Keegan ever thinks of it. With science, I want to know every answer, even if it’s scary. But with feelings, I’d rather be in the dark than know something that could hurt and disappoint me.
“It didn’t mean anything,” I finally say. “I mean, seriously, Keegan. Can you even imagine?”
Keegan’s brows knit together as he studies me. He leans so close to me, that I can breathe in his scent. “What is so hard for you to imagine?”
“Me.” I point to myself. “You. We’ve known each other our entire lives. We have very little in common. We’re pretty much complete opposites. You’ve always been like a big brother to me.”
“Huh,” Keegan says.
He folds his hands behind his head, leans back in his stool, and continues to stare straight ahead. His face is freshly shaven, and his square jaw twitches at the corners.
“What do you mean? Huh?” I lean forward to hear him better after the jukebox starts up. “That’s all you’re going to say?”
Keegan sits up straight and brushes his thumb across the rim of the bar. He looks behind me, moves my hair off my shoulder, and says into my ear.
“You didn’t kiss me as if you see me as your brother.”
“Keegan Baldwin.” I put my hand on my chest, willing my heart to stay inside. For someone who is more shy than straightforward, his candidness takes me by surprise.
The bell over the door jingles, and I can tell by Keegan’s face that Forest is back. He glances at me as he pulls away. I’m both thrilled and terrified at the thought of Keegan and me.
“I just talked to Raven. Her shift is almost up, and she’s going to join us for a drink,” Forest says as he reaches us.
Keegan and I look at each other, but I quickly divert my eyes toward Forest. There is an entire side of Keegan I’m only beginning to know, and it makes me nervous—as much for him as I am for me. I’m not good at relationships, and Keegan is becoming one of my favorite people. But if he ends up like every other guy I’ve dated, where he’ll selfishly put his needs over mine, I don’t think I could stomach it.